Chapter Fifty Two
"Hi, Sam." I spoke into the phone.
"Hey," Sam replied. "What time will you be ready?"
"Er," I peeked at the kitchen clock. "Maybe at six."
"Maybe?"
"I'm trying something new with my hair." I explained, eyeing the curling iron. "So maybe six."
"Okay." Sam said. "I'll show at six thirty."
"Okay." I said, shivering at the painful small talk. "See you then."
"Bye." He hung up.
I dug through the bare dressers. I hadn't anticipated going on the date with Sam today, but hearing how he thought he only had days left made me clear my schedule all at once.
I went to my closet and pulled out the only shopping bag of Alice's that wasn't in the truck. I dumped the folded contents on my bed and sifted through them.
A dress caught my eye and I smiled at it. I set the dress aside and refolded the rejects. I placed them in the bag and set the bag on the floor before I went to the shower.
I chose a raspberry-blueberry body wash and paired it with its perfume. I pulled the dress on and looked at the small collection of shoes.
"One more time," I said to the heels as I pulled them on. Sam was a few inches taller than me, but eye-contact was nice, I knew that from-
I waltzed around my bedroom, making myself walk funny on purpose. Every time I tripped, I tried to save myself from falling, which I managed. Mostly.
Lizzie had called me earlier today to explain what the deal was with her and Seth. Apparently, they were working on their way to being okay with Logan's and Lizzie's choice. "They want to be friends", Lizzie had told me, "but they still seemed pretty upset. I can't fault them for that."
Charlie knocked on my door. "What time is Sam picking you up?"
"Six thirty," I went to the door and pulled it open.
Charlie seemed to stop breathing. His eyes gazed at the dress and then at the heels.
"You look great," Charlie said earnestly. He looked at my hair, it was balled up in a towel, and my bare face. "Almost done?"
I nodded and Charlie smiled. "He won't let you go."
"Along with everyone else." I said. It had taken Charlie a few explanations for him to understand that I promised Sam a date, not that I liked Sam in this way. I think Charlie was hoping that Sam would beg for me to stay.
Charlie turned to walk down the hallway. "I'll knock when he's five minutes away."
"Okay," I closed the door. "Thanks!"
All the makeup and pleasing scents were only part of my plan. I wanted to look good with Sam. I couldn't compare to Edward, and I looked tiny and frail with Jacob, but with Sam, even with his condition, I felt that we would look good together.
"Sam's here." Charlie knocked twice. "He's in the kitchen."
I turned to the mirror and gazed at my reflection.
Alice would be proud. I eyed the pretty gold eye shadow. I think.
I went to the door and smiled when Charlie took my hand. He started to mimic the piano tunes at a wedding until I gave him a look.
"Can't have any fun," Charlie grumbled, making me grin. He stopped at the top of the stairs. "After you, Lady Bella."
I smiled and hobbled down the stairs, taking extra care not to trip. I made it down in one piece and walked into the kitchen.
Sam stood up from the kitchen table, smiling. He looked nice in a plain white dress shirt. His suit was ink black. To my pleasure, his bow tie was a pale shade of gold.
Just like my dress. I smiled. "You look nice."
Sam edged forward, eyes wide. "Same to you." His hand reached for a curl. "What did you do?"
"Something magical." I said, recalling the heavy heat from the curling iron. "And hot."
"They're so pretty," Sam bounced the curl in his hand. His eyes went to my face. "Wow," he seemed to swallow nervously, "You look great."
Charlie spoke behind me, "So where are you two going?"
Sam peeked at Charlie around my shoulder. "La Bella Italia."
The name sounded familiar. "Sounds fancy."
Sam nodded. Charlie looked at the two of us and beamed. "Have fun. Be back by. . ."
I made a pout face. "Dad."
"Don't come home before three." Charlie finished. "There." He held up a hand and waved. "Bye."
Sam broke into a smile and grabbed my hand. He tugged me out of the house and I stopped when I saw his truck.
"It's beautiful." I said, looking at my truck. I was almost green with envy. "Nice blue."
"Thank you," Sam gave me a grin and held the passenger's door open. "Stop looking mad. Your truck is nice too."
I hid the laughter in my arm. "Uh, no."
Sam sighed, giving me a gleeful look. "Get in the car."
"You mean truck."
"Get in."
I went to the passenger seat and climbed in. "Fine."
Sam started laughing.
I've been here before. I looked around the restaurant. This was the restaurant Edward had taken me to after saving me from those men so long ago. It didn't seem to have changed much.
Sam looked back at me, shifting the tank on his back. He smiled. "First time?"
"I came here once," I admitted.
Sam's smile didn't fade. "Cool. You'll know what to eat."
I smiled as he grabbed my hand. He held it for a moment, closing his eyes as he gave it a squeeze.
"Sorry," he opened his eyes and smiled ruefully. He dropped my hand. "Just play around for me. This is my first real date."
I grabbed his hand and looked at him, lost for a moment. Play along, he said. I could do that.
"Okay," I said simply. I knew where this was going. This was going to hurt us both later, but I pushed the thought out of my mind.
The waitress laid us to our table. It was secluded, near the middle of the restaurant. There weren't too many people around.
"Hi," Sam said sweetly to an elderly couple. "Let us know if we bother you."
The elderly lady smiled back while the man gave Sam a thumbs up. I couldn't hide my grin when the lady saw her man smile at Sam. She whacked him with a napkin, which made Sam choke as he tried not to laugh.
"Thank you," Sam said to the waitress when we reached our seats.
The waitress smiled. "Would you like anything right now or would you like to look at your menus?" She nodded at the menus on the table.
Sam caught my eye and shook his head. "We'd like to look at the menus."
"Alright," the waitress walked off. The restaurant was Italian, but she was not. She sounded like she was from Texas, which made me smile because she had said, "Welcome to La Bella Italia," with the sweetest accent-
"Bella?"
I looked over at Sam, blushing. "Sorry. I was thinking about her accent."
Sam smiled. "Nice, right?"
I nodded and turned my eyes to the menu. "I've had the ravioli before."
Sam looked at the picture and took a deep breath from his tubes. "Looks good," he murmured.
Sam settled on the salmon fettuccine. I picked the ravioli from last time. When our waitress came back, she smiled in sympathy while we struggled with the names.
"It'll be a few minutes," she said. "Dessert?"
"We'll tell you when you come back." Sam smiled.
The waitress nodded. I caught her name when she turned. Kathy. Hm. She was the waitress that had been too friendly with Edward. She still looked the same, a little older to be honest.
Sam turned to me, a smile of relief on his face.
"How are you?"
I smiled back. "Fine. You?"
Sam's eyes narrowed. "Sick of small talk." He leaned forward. "Let's get deep."
I leaned forward, narrowing my eyes as well. "Okay. Go."
Sam hesitated before he spoke.
"Bella, what I want to know is. . ." He gave me a shy look. "What's your favorite color?"
I burst out laughing and struggled to swallow the giggles.
Delight brightened Sam's face. "I'm serious."
"I know!" I cried, lapsing into giggles. It was funny when I realized how much I didn't know about Sam. We had survived a vampire attack together and I didn't know his favorite color. "You first."
"But I asked you first."
I wiped my eyes carefully with a napkin.
"Blue."
Sam arched both eyebrows. "Too broad."
You're just like- "It's a pale blue." I never really had a favorite color. All my favorite colors were the eye colors of my beloveds. It pleased me that Sam was one of them. "Baby blue."
Sam smiled. "My favorite color is gold."
I gave my dress a meaningful glance. Sam blushed and fumbled to explain.
"Gold is so pretty, you know. So bright." He smiled, distant. "Happy. Optimistic."
I nodded at the sight, smiling. "You're right."
Sam gasped. "I've never been right before! This feels strange."
I glared at him, and he grinned in response.
"You know," Sam mumbled around salmon, "I had a caterpillar once."
I looked up at Sam from my drink. It was a strange blend of lemonade and sparkling apple soda. I had ordered it that way. The taste was peculiar.
"What happened to it?"
Sam smiled. "It had a name. Jeb."
I giggled. "Okay, so what happened to Jeb?"
Sam took a sip of his drink before he answered. "It was in fifth grade when I met Jeb. I put him in my pocket because I wanted to keep him safe. Then we went to lunch."
Sadness darkened Sam's face.
"I checked on Jeb on the bus and realized that he was squished to death." Sam sighed. "Literally. He was spilling out of my-"
"Poor Jeb." I murmured, saddened. "Why did you tell me this?"
Sam gave me a tired smile. "This story has meaning."
"Which is?"
Sam took a deep breath from his tubes.
"You don't always do the right thing to the things you love."
I swallowed a chunk of ravioli wrong and started coughing. Sam lurched from the table and clapped me hard on the back. I coughed the ravioli into a napkin and gave Sam a grateful, watery look.
"Sorry. Did I nearly kill you?"
"A little," I mumbled. I looked at Sam in a brighter light.
Sam gave me a timid look. "You're doing the right thing, Bella. By leaving."
"What makes you say that?"
"If you were going to stay, she would have came back and taken care of everyone." Sam reasoned. "You're saving a lot of lives."
A sad silence settled over the two of us.
"Damn it." Sam downed his drink. "Let's talk about something else."
I picked up my fork again, eager for a topic change. "Like what?"
Sam narrowed his baby blue eyes at me, thinking.
"Oh, right!" Sam shouted in the truck. He looked over at me, a bright grin on his face. "I forgot something."
"What?" I was still laughing from his antics at the restaurant.
After finding nothing else to talk about, he started speaking in Latin to everyone who passed our table. Eventually, he went quiet and gave me a mischievous smile. When Kathy came back, he spoke in choppy French, which made everyone burst out laughing, even the old couple from earlier.
Then he stood up and bowed, "I'll be here all week," and danced with me out of the place.
"It's at my place," Sam said, stopping at a red light. "It's your goodbye present."
I nodded, saddened all over again, and then I stared at Sam. "How are you driving?"
Sam put a finger to his lips. "Don't tell Doc." He paused and rethought his words. "Shit, forget Doc. Don't tell Lizzie."
"How are you driving?"
Sam gave me a shrug. "Dunno. I just did it today."
"Sam Carlton-"
"Isabella what's-your-nickname-again Swan!" Sam yelped, shooting me a playful glare.
I looked at the road and then at Sam. "You're not seeing anything weird?"
Sam looked back at the road and squinted. "I see a shit-ton of squirrels, but what squirrel in their right mind would be running around at this time of night?"
I couldn't hide my laugher fast enough. Sam grinned at the giggles and sighed in content.
"You're letting me drive when we get to your house."
Sam sighed, wiggling his eyebrows at me. "Fine."
"Ta-dah!" Sam held out the box.
It was a small, black velvet one.
I eyed Sam. "Is this an engagement ring?"
Sam blinked. "Why? Would you say yes?"
I smiled, gave him a shake of my head.
"Aw." Sam whined, taking the box from me. "Never mind, in that case."
I looked at Sam, horrified. "Is it?"
Sam shook his head, grinning. "No." I held out my hand for the box and took a step back when he dropped to one knee, the tank by his side.
"For you, Bella."
I reached out for the box and slowly lifted the lid.
It was a ring. It was a simple solid, silver band. I let Sam slide it on my right ring finger while I peeked at the words.
"Don't forget," the ring pleaded.
I looked up at Sam, touched. "Don't forget . . . ?"
Sam nodded wordlessly, a soft smile on his face.
"Yep," he breathed, gazing at me. I gazed back at him with equal intensity.
For a long moment, none of us moved.
Sam moved first. He grabbed my hand and led me upstairs.
I stopped. "Uh, Sam-"
"I'm a classy man," Sam said, giving me a weak pull. "Get your mind out of the gutter." He whined.
I laughed and said, "I wasn't thinking of anything like that."
"Yeah, you were." Sam led me into his bedroom.
I looked around, surprised by the simplicity of his room. Just standard furniture. There were pictures everywhere. His laptop was up.
"Let's do my last one together." Sam said, fumbling with his computer.
I stopped dead in my tracks.
Sam turned to me, confused. He looked at me and frowned.
"I could have said that better." Sam apologized.
I shook my head and eased forward. "You're right." I mumbled. "It is your last one."
Sam nodded, somber. Then he said, nonchalant, "Last human one anyway."
"It won't be the same."
Sam looked at me again, sad. "I know," he murmured.
He turned back to his laptop and set it on the bed. He pulled onto it and plopped the tank between us.
I gave the tank a glare and looked back at Sam. He was gazing at me in the softest way. . .
"What?"
His lips twitched into a smile. "You look so pretty in gold."
I smiled and looked over at the screen. "What do you want me to say?"
Sam chuckled. "Wing it." Before I could reply, he pressed the ON button.
I gazed at the flashing red light and then at Sam. He was looking right at the screen.
"Hi, Mom." Sam said. "I've been saying this lately, but this is my last one. For real this time."
He glanced at me. "I brought Bella with me. She's real nice, Mom. Sweet as ever."
"According to him," I mumbled. Sam smiled at my words and continued.
"I don't really know her," Sam confessed. "We haven't been able to talk like that, but I like to think that if we had and if things had been really different, we would have been best friends."
Sam gave me a sly glance, making a forbidden smile appear. Pretty sure we would have been more than friends, the mischievous gleam in his eyes said.
"I like to think that we'll see each other again." Sam said. "You know, in Heaven or wherever."
I gave the screen, Sam's hypothetical mother, a reassuring smile.
"Don't cry too much, okay?" Sam pleaded. "Like, please make the sappiest jokes ever at the funeral. Everyone will laugh, trust me."
My smile was sadder now.
Sam swallowed hard. "I love you, Mom."
He clicked OFF and turned to me.
"See? Easy as pie."
"Yeah," I murmured, sniffling.
Sam walked me to the door. We couldn't strike up a conversation in his pretty blue truck, not after that. We spent the last two hours, Sam let me drive, blasting piano and violin music. It was just before three thirty, like Charlie had requested.
Sam was breathing hard. I could hear it.
"Sam?" I turned to him in the gloom. The air was cool for once. It had sprinkled while we were driving to nowhere.
"Yeah?" Sam dragged his eyes from my front door.
I gave him a hug. "I'm sorry."
"For what? I'm the selfish one, wanting to live forever." Sam muttered. "This is the price for it: isolation."
His words were harsh, but true.
"I like to think that you'd see me again." Sam wrapped his arms around me. "Jane said you couldn't see the Cullens, but odds are that I'll be with them so. . ."
I sighed into his chest. Was this goodbye? Goodbye forever?
Sam pulled away and pecked me on the forehead.
"I'm going to miss you." Sam breathed.
I held him tight, engraving the feeling of his warmth to memory. Sam was a blend of Edward and Jacob. He had Edward's politeness, Jacob's cheer, and something that was so Sam and lovable that I couldn't take it.
"I'm going to miss you too." I murmured.
I let him pull me into another hug before I turned to the door.
"Wait." Sam turned me back to him.
This kiss was unexpected, but deep, deep down, it was somehow welcome.
I still like ordinary humans, I thought with pleasure. Good to know.
I tried not to focus on how soft, yet chapped from thirst, his lips were. I was afraid to give myself a chance to respond. I stood there and let him kiss me, knowing how painful it was for him as it was for me.
To kiss a healthy girl whereas you were a sick, dying boy. . . And for her to let you and not respond, knowing that she was not going to kiss you back or anything, simply because she had her own feelings to sort through . . .
And then to be the girl, the one who was so unsure of her feelings that she didn't try, or let herself open up and feel-
This kiss seemed more painful than enjoyable. For the both of us.
Sam pulled away before too long.
"Sorry," he smiled, not so-sorry, "I couldn't leave without it."
Sam, I'm sorry that I'm- "See you around?"
Sam nodded, his teeth flashing white in the darkness. "Somehow," he said.
The steps creaked as he walked to his truck. The grass hissed and the pebbles crunched. The driver's door opened. Sam climbed in and the dome light flickered on.
For a second, I was grateful that Sam was noisy, if not noisier, than I was.
I looked at Sam glowing in the dome light. For a moment, everything was gold. His hair, his eyes, even his lips that had just touched mine so gently-
Then the light went out and Sam backed out of the driveway. The headlights shone on me, I glimpsed Sam wave to me, but then he was gone.
In my bedroom, I looked at the ring on my finger.
Don't forget.
I looked out the window, gazing at Forks as it slept.
I won't.
