Kidoumaru Does Konoha!

Chapter 43

The odd group stood around the hospital, waiting for word on Sakon's condition. Ukon, who had physically separated from his twin to make it easier for the surgeons, was beside himself. Kidoumaru walked in, with Kin and a drowsy Zaku in tow.

"I got them for you, but Zaku's still a bit out of it. I would have let him sleep, but I didn't want to leave him alone."

Jirobou sat in a corner, nervously eating snacks he'd bought from a machine, Tayuya, for once, was silent and Dosu was pacing. Dosu walked over to his former teammates, "What's wrong with Zaku?"

"He had a breakdown, they had to sedate him." Kin said quietly, earning a glare from Zaku,

"Tell everyone why don't you..." He muttered sleepily.

"Here," Kidoumaru lifted the boy and laid him on a couch nearby, "Just get some sleep."

"I was sleeping, you woke..." He yawned, and fell into a deep sleep.

"Any word?" Kidoumaru turned to Dosu.

"Not yet."

A familiar pink-haired medic walked over to the group, "Ukon?" Ukon jumped up, "What's wrong? Is he going to be alright?"

She nodded, "The surgery was a success, but given the nature of the surgery he'll have to stay here for at least a few days."

Jirobou put an arm around Ukon's shoulder, "See, he's gonna be fine."

The surgeon came in and took Ukon to the recovery room to be with his brother as Sakura walked over to Zaku and knelt over him, "Is he alright?"

Kidoumaru touched her arm, "He had a... reaction to seeing Shino, punched him in the balls. I had to drag him home, and he had a breakdown. He's sedated."

Sakura looked up at Kidoumaru with worried eyes, "He saw a doctor then?"

"Yes, a man named Masuda. He said it should pass..."

"I know Masuda, he does good work..."

They were suddenly cut off by a eerie silence, and turned to see Shikamaru standing in the doorway, staring at Tayuya, who was glaring back at him.

"Just what I #! needed! Like this #! day couldn't get any worse!"

Shika just shook his head, "I think you have bigger problems right now. How's Sakon?"

"He got through the surgery okay. He should be find, he just needs to recover from the operation itself." Sakura informed the Nara.

"That's good." He walked over and sat down in a nearby chair.

"Like you care, #!head!"

Shikamaru turned, "We didn't want to kill any of you, you guys attacked us, remember? We defended ourselves."

Tayuya started toward the Nara, only to be held back by Jirobou, "It's not the time or place for that!"

Tayuya growled and sat down across from Shikamaru, so she could glare at him better. Hmmm, this #! isn't so #! bad-looking... Even if he ain't got any #! emotions. She examined him, the mesh shirt revealing his (Surprisingly nice) upper body, the moderately tight shorts, she slapped herself mentally, What the hell am I doing! I'm gonna' #! kill this #! punk when I get the chance. It's a #! shame though, he is pretty #! cute, what a #! waste. Maybe he'll #! turn around and give me a view of his...

"Take a picture, it'll last longer." Shikamaru looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"YOU stupid #!, you #! think I'm #! desperate enough to look at your #! bony #!"

"You sure were checking me out a minute ago,"

He still sounded as bored as ever. That #! "Look, #!, don't #! flatter yourself! I've seen better looking guys than you in the #! kennels!"

"My, what a mouth you have, you must be Tayuya..."

"And who the #! are you?"

"Tsunade, Hokage of Konohagakure."

Tayuya turned to see a woman with unnaturally large breasts standing behind her.

Eiji stepped forward, ever the naive peacemaker. "They're just here for medical attention, they don't mean any harm."

Tayuya had to stop herself from laughing, That's what you think, Spider-Boy.

"Besides, they're with Iwa now, and Konoha has a treaty with Iwa..."

The Hokage shook her head, "You really don't trust me, do you, Eiji?"

Eiji looked her in the eye, "I don't see any malice in your eyes, but I know how enemy ninja are treated in all of the villages, even if they are only former enemies."

Tsunade smiled, "Former enemies, like Kankurou and Gaara? You've seen how badly we've treated them, not to mention Kidoumaru, Zaku, Kin..."

"Sorry, I- I've just seen a lot of the worst of people..."

"I understand, I grew up with Orochimaru, after all, I knew him before he became that thing." She turned to the others, "You may stay, for now, but there are going to be ANBU on your tails 24/7, if any of get up to no good, you'll find yourselves in a cell, with a lot of pain to keep you company... Understood?"

"Yeah, whatever, you big-boobed #!"

Tsunade whirled around to Tayuya, "What did you say, you piece of #!"

What followed was a loud, obnoxious battle of curses that finally left Tayuya defeated and everyone else wanting a to take a long shower.

Nobodies' ever out-cussed me before! Not even Ukon! Tayuya was in awe of this remarkable woman, She can cuss, fight and look #! good doing it! And she's in her #! sixties! Life's not #! fair!

Tsunade looked over the traumatized spectators, "I'd best be going, a Hokage's work is never done." And my sake stash is calling me... She turned one more time, there was something she needed to know, "Dosu, right? How did you get that pelt-thing back? You were wearing it when we..."

Dosu looked at her innocently, "You really don't want to know, but..."

Tsunade staggered out of the room, I really didn't need to know that! God, I need a drink!

Shikamaru stood up and walked over to Zaku, and bent over him to see how he was doing, and Tayuya suddenly found her traitorous eyes drawn to a certain area of the Lazy-Nin's body. Finally! About #! time that #! lazy-#! got up! Not #! bad, not #! bad at all. It really is a #! shame I'm gonna #! kill the little #!

Shikamaru turned, "Tayuya, are you looking at my..."

"You #! stuck-up #! prick! You think you're so #! goodâ–´looking that I can't #! resist you! I'm still #! gonna #! kill your sorry #! when I get the #! chance! You and that #! blonde Suna #! whore!"

Shikamaru took in the threat, "Why? What good would it do you? Why are you so Hell-bent on killing us? What would it accomplish? Are you just trying to prove to yourself that Temari's victory was some kind of fluke and that you should have won? It wasn't a fluke, Temari killed you and she could easily do it again. I'm weak, I admit it, you could kill me right now, but you don't stand a chance against her, no matter how many times you come back from the dead to try it. So do us all a favor," He went back to his chair, "Take your new life and enjoy it, and spare me the guilt of..." Shikamaru gasped, What did I just say!? Guilt? "Uhhh... Dâ–´don't make Temari go to the trouble of killing you again."

She smirked, "You #! stupid #! Pineapple-Head, it's the same #! song as before, you didn't want to #! kill me then, and you still can't bring yourself to #! do it now! You #! idiot, I was going to kill you slowly before that #! whore arrived, I won't #! show you any #! mercy, I'll #! torture you to death with a #! smile, and I don't care how #! cute you are!" Every head in the room turned towards Tayuya, even Shikamaru shed his normally lazy expression for one of utter shock. Tayuya turned beet red, "I didn't mean it that way you #! perverts!"

To Be Continued . . .