The Diego Diaries: Campin' (dd4 50)
-0-At the scene of the crime
A shuttle landed nearby, all pausing in their b.s. and beer to watch it pass over and settle. Then the bull fest rolled on as the conversation turned to scary moments, hilarious ineptitudinal moments of infamy and ghost stories. After a bit the familiar buzzing of segways could be heard. Turning to look down the road, everyone watched as a number of human packed vehicles made their way along the trail. They buzzed in, then paused beside the big peds of Optimus and Ratchet. Everyone stared downward as everyone on segways looked upward. :Will and Company. Hi. What kept ya?: Ratchet asked with a grin.
:Logistics: Lennox replied as everyone buzzed forward taking up a space around the camp stoves which numbered five now. The light would have been overwhelming but for the compensators in their suits. :So what are you talkin about?: he asked as Sarah took a seat on a small rock next to the segway. Others settled as they checked in for the evening.
:Ghosts: Ravel said with a grin.
The humans looked at each other, then the bots. :Really?: Sheila Conroy asked. :Ghosts?:
Everyone of the bots nodded including Prowl, Wheeljack and Perceptor, Autobot Nation's trifecta team of tight aft fact-based hard helms. Ratchet having scanned the internet for the low down on ghosts among humans between the question and the answer grinned. :We were telling ghost stories. You're supposed to during camping I'm told:
:Yeah, you are: Bobby Epps said with a nod. :Uh … you don't really believe in ghosts do you?:
Every bot around the circle nodded.
Epps considered that. :Yes, you believe. Yes, you don't believe:
Every bot around the circle nodded.
:Ratchet, is it common among bots to believe in ghosts?: Lola Teasdale asked taking a shot at the question.
:It is. We believe in ghosts: Ratchet said.
Every bot around the circle nodded.
:Wait. You believe in ghosts? Like hauntings and such?: John Fulton asked with surprise.
Every bot around the circle nodded.
It was silent a moment, then John Fulton looked at Perceptor. :You're a scientist, Perceptor. You believe in ghosts too?:
Perceptor nodded. :Yes, I do:
:Seriously?: Lennox asked with a grin waiting for the 'joke'.
No one made it. They stared at the humans curiously.
:Continue then: Glenn Morshower said as he sat down on a rock himself, Barbara joining him.
:We were talking about going to a planet called … what was it called? We put a beacon nearby in space to warn everyone away …: Sandstorm said as he considered which among the millions of places he had been that this adventure had happened.
:Somewhere out past Junkion I think: Kup said as the vague memory began to form in his processor.
:Junkion?: Jessie Landon asked as she and Aisha Mohammad lounged on Ratchet's big left ped. The Teasdale twins lounged on his right ped.
:Junkion is a planet-sized garbage dump. Stuff gravitates toward it because its in a location where things pass by. I think it has enough mass now to draw things through gravity. You have to see it to believe it: Wheeljack said with a grin.
:Does anyone live there?: Jessie asked with fascination.
:Scrap bots live there: Wheeljack replied. :They collect, breakdown and recycle things building a sort of civilization there that is part us and not:
:I think that the planet you're referring to, Sandstorm lies out beyond Junk: Perceptor said as he sorted through the star maps in his database.
Sandstorm nodded. :We were there battling Decepticons led by Bludgeon who is a pretender and all around fragging lunatic:
:He knew a lot of ways to kill you including Metallikato: Sandstorm said glancing at Jazz, then Prowl. :You and Jazz know Metallikato don't you, Prowl?:
Prowl nodded. :I do. Jazz knows it and I think you do too don't you, Arcee?:
:I know circuit su, Prowl. You and Lockdown, Jazz and Bludgeon are the only ones I know who do it, right? You were Yoketron's students back in the orn: Arcee said.
:Ah. That's right: Prowl grinned.
Prime grinned at Prowl.
Ratchet took snaps.
:What is metallikato?: -humans of every stripe
:It's a practice with a lot of spirituality that is banned in polite society: Ratchet said.
:Its a martial art that involves swords, kicks and the like. It means 'loss of metal'. The techniques include grips that rip metal loose from bodies: Ironhide said. :Landmine knows too:
:I learned metallikato: Sideswipe said nodding.
:No: -Prowl frowning slightly
:Yes: -Sideswipe grinning.
:No. From who?: Prowl said as he felt his ire such as it was rising.
:From others including a couple of Yoketron's students in a refugee camp once: Sideswipe said popping another beer. :I am after all a master instructor in the army, remember?:
:They'll take anyone on nowadays: Sunstreaker said with a slight smirk. :I will take a good blaster and a well placed fist over voodoo any orn:
:Straight up, youngling: Hercy said agreeing. :Metallikato is overrated:
All optics turn to the little shrimp holding a bottle of high grade he was sharing with Kup then back to Prowl. That mech is burning slowly around the edges.
:Metallikato is so dangerous and impossible to defend against when wielded by a master practitioner its outlawed: -Prowl getting defensive over a skill he learned from the Master, Yoketron who beat his aft until he did.
:Yoketron was good: -Hercy reminiscing over a mech he hadn't see in eons of vorns and knew very well.
:He was the master's master: -Prowl
"He was a master who leaned from a master: Hercy said glancing at Prowl. :Who do you think taught him?:
Chuckles all around buried the sound of Prowl nearly regurgitating a gourmet meal and several beers. Prowl looked at Kup. :Fragger is lying, right?:
Kup shrugged, then grinned. Miler wasn't so forgiving.
:Prowl … words. In front of the Prime: -Miler feeling the burn
Prowl looked at his ada, then rolled his optics. :I'm not drunk enough:
Laughter and abuse met that including a hearty laugh from Venture. Optimus looking at him with a sweet expression handed Prowl another beer.
He took it.
The humans sat around the circle watching the big bots and most of them could remember times on Earth where they had the same outings and the same feeling of family and humor. Of course, it was on another planet with smores and the like.
Smores.
:Ratchet … where are your smores?: Epps asked to be ornery.
Ratchet looked at him a moment, then jolted. :I HAVE THEM! IN MY BOX THERE!: He rose stepping around and over folks until he reached a box. Taking the whole thing, he came back putting it on the ground.
:What's smores?: Ironhide asked.
:Something a scout master has to know: Ratchet said as Ironhide got slagged by everyone including Prowl. :And your slagging assistant master, old Yoketron's favorite student here: He glanced at Prowl who lost his smirk immediately.
Ratchet rummaged in the box pulling things out. :Smores have to be made, then eaten. Watch this:
:Yeah. Watch a master at work: Optimus said with a chuckle.
Everyone grinned at him.
He grinned back.
Ratchet ignored all of them as he began his task, the "SHOW THAT SLAGGING PROWL UP!" task.
That one.
He took a long metallic skewer and skewed a white puffy thing on it. Taking two brown cracker-like things and a piece of what everyone knew as the Cybertronian version of chocolate, he put that bit aside. Sitting back with his skewer in servo, he grinned. :Watch this. You put it in the fire until it melts a little, then you put it on the chocolate with the crackers like a sammich. Got it?:
Everyone looked at him like halfwit children.
:We got it: Jessie said to be encouraging.
Ratchet grinned down at her. :You are in the will: He leaned forward. :Here goes: He extended the skewered white puffy object into the fiery camp stove.
It poofed in a fireball of flame.
Sitting back, Ratchet looked at his empty skewer in amazement. As he did Prowl burst into his own flames.
Of laughter.
He howled with it as he considered the debacle of Ratchet's culinary prowess. He himself had been a victim of a high caste upbringing with its emphasis on learning skills that were beneficial as well as classy. Almost to the last mech, high castes could cook.
Of course, there was always an exception. We're looking at you, Blackjack.
:I wish you could see your face, Ratchet: Prowl crowed as he laughed. :Someone should take a picture. I'll put it on my dart board:
:We do not have a dart board: Prime offered sweetly.
:I'll get one: Prowl said as he laughed.
Ratchet looked at Prowl with a grin. :Slagger: Reaching down, he got another 'marshmallow', skewered it, then sort of leaned it into the fire warily. It began to melt, then poofed into nothingness. Prowl burst into laughter once more.
Ratchet got another, then another. By the time he got to the fourth one, he had a marshmallow ready to use. Putting it on the chocolate between two crackers, he turned with a gimlet optic offering it to Ironhide. :Here, fragger. Eat this:
Ironhide looked at the pleasant malice on Ratchet's face, then took it. :What the frag do I do with it?: he asked again.
:Put it in your pie hole and eat it: -Ratchet
Everyone looked at him, then he did.
The bellow that came out of his mouth echoed on the hillsides and would be spoken about in hushed tones forever.
:WHAT THE FRAG, OLD MECH? THAT WAS LIKE SUCKING PLASMA FROM A GUN BARREL!: -Ironhide critiquing the flaming heat pellet currently incinerating the inside of his mouth.
Ratchet looked at them, then made another. Leaning forward, he held it out to Prowl. :Here, fragger. Eat this. I dare ya:
Prowl looked at Ratchet with a smug grin. :You can't make me:
Optimus took it from Ratchet's servo. :I'll eat it: he said putting the thing skewer and all into his mouth.
His bellow would be one for the ages.
-0-TBC June 6, 2014 edited June 29, 2014
NOTES:
In the novels of the Bey movies, Glenn Morshower is an admiral. In the movies, he works with the soldiers, first at the camp Black Out destroyed as the officer who breaks the landlines when Black Out is there to access the hard drives of the base. Secondly, he's wearing khakis in the Fallen movie indicating to me an army officer. I will keep him a general.
Because things exist in real time for the transformers in canon, their religion requires no faith. They see their warrior gods and otherwise in real time, in real life. Also, the story about is changed slightly for the episode but its in homage to the episode, Starscream's Ghost.
I am basing my Optimus characterization on a combination of most of the personifications of him in all of the universes. But the most strongly applied is the G1. Optimus in that universe wasn't as careworn nor was he as grave. He played basketball, laughed, goofed around and surfed. So did most of the others. The characterizations of the mini-cons come from that universe, their feisty mouthiness and their toughness. :D
I love the TF's. :D
Where I come from we call them marshmellows. :D:D:D
