Chapter 49 – "Those very few who have been involved"

After trying unsuccessfully to reach Sarek on his comm countless times, Amanda tossed hers aside in disgust. This is getting us nowhere.

Frustrated, she berated herself again for failing to see the signs of Sarek's impending pon farr. True, with the events on Syldra and with Sered and his aides, and the fact that she'd seen Sarek's control challenged by threats to her safety, it had been reasonable to attribute the lapses in his discipline to that. Add the stress of the High Council events, and it became easy.

It was also true that she had incomplete information. The memories of Sarek's first pon farr that he had shared with her were fragmented at best, and both his thoughts and T'Alen's only concerned the actual kun-ut-kal'i'fee and its aftermath. I guess everyone thought the signs leading up to it were so obvious that I'd recognize them, too. It's funny the things that trip us up. Here I thought I was such an expert on Vulcan culture, and I missed this! Of course, if pon farr were a Human condition, there would be information everywhere and public service announcements about it. Not here.

Her temper frayed at her own thoughts. That's no excuse! I need to do something! Sarek is out there, in danger; I need to reach him. There's supposed to be a ceremony, but to hell with that. I need to help him now.

She reconsidered the wisdom of remaining at the fortress. It was now after dark, but the potential danger didn't concern her. She needed to go in search of him.

Wait, Amanda. Be rational. She forced herself to think.

I'll search for him in one of the flitters. But first, I'll call his office and have them activate his locator. I don't care if the reason is 'unspeakable;' I'll make something up if I have to. He's in danger! Determined, Amanda reached for her comm.

She was greatly relieved at that moment to hear an aircar land out by the hangar. She dropped her comm and rushed to the door to greet him.

Instead, Amanda was shocked to be confronted by four of T'Pau's ceremonial guards, two attendants – and the matriarch herself.

"Matriarch!" she exclaimed, her composure vanquished by a sudden stab of fear – Something has happened to Sarek!

Wordlessly T'Pau stepped inside, the guards remaining at the door. Hastily mumbling the traditional words of greeting, Amanda bid the matriarch to enter further, the attendants hovering silently in the background.

After a pace, the older woman fixed Amanda with her stare and summarily announced, "Thee must prepare thyself. It is thy bondmate's Time."

Both relief that no accident had befallen her husband and worry warred on Amanda's face. T'Pau tilted her head, watching the curious display, before Amanda blurted, "I thought so! But where is he? And Sarek said he wasn't due for another year!"

T'Pau's brows peaked slowly in a manner that looked distinctly as if the matriarch of all Vulcan had just rolled her eyes. "An overestimation. Vulcan males, especially the ones with whom I am acquainted, it seems, are somewhat predictable in this respect. Nevertheless," she concluded, "it is now. He is in seclusion."

Still confused, Amanda asked, "How do you know?"

"Thy healer at the embassy on Terra alerted me to the situation."

"T'Alen called you – but why?"

"Dost thou find my counsel inadequate, T'Amanda?"

"What? No, Matriarch! I just don't understand – "

T'Pau's voice softened ever so slightly. The Human before her looked lost. "At this time, it is typically the mother or another female relative of the female bondmate who provides guidance. Since thee lacks one with suitable knowledge from thine own clan, I am here."

"Oh."

The Vulcan elder scrutinized the Human before her, bidding her to sit. "Tell me what thou hast experienced. Thou hast dreamt of thy bondmate?"

Amanda looked up, eyes widening. "Why, yes – but they were more like nightmares. They had nothing to do with, with –" she stopped, her face flushed and confused. "I mean, I doubt they were metaphorical. Sarek isn't repressed about –"

"Indeed not," T'Pau readily agreed, eliciting a sudden double-take from Amanda.

The matriarch ignored the Human's embarrassed look. "T'Sai, the great difficulty experienced by the Vulcan male in pon farr is not due as much to the mating drive itself as it is due to the loss of control the drive engenders.

"Such dreams are often how the Time begins," T'Pau continued solemnly, and Amanda had the sense that she was speaking now less as a clan matriarch and more as someone with personal experience. "The Fires are a time of great stress for the male, both physical and… emotional. These stresses may manifest themselves in a variety of ways for the bondmate as well."

Amanda closed her eyes, re-reflecting on the recent, odd events with Sarek, and damned herself again for her blindness.

Meanwhile, her mother-in-law eyed with concern her apparent hesitation. "Sarek has entrusted his life to thee. If thou fails him, he will die."

Amanda's eyes snapped back open to glare at T'Pau. "I know that! I am not going to fail him! How dare you simply assume that I will!" Her anger surged, all the fear and tension of the past several hours suddenly condensed into fury and laser-focused at the only available target.

T'Pau merely blinked, utterly impassive, and watched as Amanda's eyes widened in shock at her own outburst, her hands flying to her mouth.

"I beg forgiveness, Pid-kom!" the young woman exclaimed.

The elder studied Amanda, considering. The Human was broadcasting a flurry of intense emotions – T'Pau briefly wondered how these beings did not simply burn themselves out from constantly allowing their emotions to overrun them – but underneath all of them was a constant thrum of thought focused solely on Sarek and the desire to see him safe. Perhaps I have underestimated this one.

In any case, it was highly likely that Sarek would reject any female other than his bondmate at this point. The Human was her son's only chance. Inwardly, T'Pau softened a bit.

Amanda apologized again, now just sounding forlorn. "I'm sorry, Matriarch. Sarek needs my help. I just don't know what to do. What do I do now?"

"Thee will prepare thyself, with our assistance. There is first the marriage van-kal, and then thee will remain at the place of koon-ut-kal'i'fee for several days."

Surprised, Amanda asked, "Can't we just come back here after the ceremony?"

T'Pau matter-of-factly informed the Human, "Regard the facts logically, T'Amanda. Thy husband will be in the grip of a potentially violent fever; his only interest will be in mating. Attempting to persuade him to delay for any reason, even to return here, would only have unfortunate results."

"Oh. I see your point…"

"If thou has any essential personal effects to bring, thy attendants will take them to the koon-ut-plathau." The two attendants stepped forward, one carrying an ornately decorated box. "These are thy ceremonial attendants," T'Pau continued. "They bring thy wedding dress, and will assist thee in dressing now."

Amanda nodded numbly as she wondered for a moment just who would name anyplace "the place of consummation," and then she remembered the caves from T'Alen's thoughts. Minutes after our marriage ceremony, I'm supposed to sequester myself in a cave with my husband for several days of non-stop sex.

Oddly, this thought wasn't as strange as she expected it to be. In fact, part of her mind found the idea somewhat… tantalizing. This was the part of her mind that was increasingly interested in sex with her husband as soon as possible. Is the pon farr affecting me through our bond? She shivered with the sensations she felt coursing through her body. Images of Sarek flooded her mind. His powerful presence, his electric touch, his magnificent body, on hers, in hers…

Amanda drew in a shuddering breath, and T'Pau looked sharply at her. "Are thee well, T'Amanda?"

At that instant Amanda realized that she had not been shielding her thoughts at all. Indeed, in the stress of the last several hours she had completely forgotten to employ any of the techniques Sarek had taught her. She flushed, thoroughly embarrassed, wondering how many of her thoughts she had inadvertently broadcast to T'Pau.

T'Pau returned her gaze expressionlessly as always, but when she spoke her tone was the driest Amanda had ever heard. "Child, I am doing my best not to receive your thoughts, for the sake of both of us." She waved a hand at the mortified Human. "Dress quickly. We must see the healers."

ooo

They were in T'Pau's large aircar and racing toward Shi'Kahr in the dim predawn light before it even occurred to Amanda to wonder why they were going to the healers. She had been preoccupied by the strange thoughts racing through her head. Mostly, she just wanted to get to Sarek.

The silvery dress she wore was simple but beautiful, its fabric fragile. She wore nothing underneath it. Amanda had been embarrassed at first; the thin dress was somewhat revealing under close inspection, but the attendants had been firm. "Nothing must interfere," they had cryptically enjoined.

Her hair was styled in an elaborate updo, different from any she had seen, a fragile pendant engraved with the S'chn T'Gai clan sigils woven into it. Her attendants had done her makeup for her, applying it expertly in Vulcan style. The face that stared back at her from the mirror appeared foreign to her. She was indeed a stranger in a strange land, about to engage in a millennially old, alien mating ritual.

Now, having arrived at the Shi'Oren t'Ek'Tallar, she was about to ask T'Pau why they were stopping here, but the matriarch was out of the hover car and striding briskly into the building before Amanda could even form the words. Let's just get going, she thought, somewhat irritably. Then her thoughts returned to Sarek.

T'Pau swept into Sorel and Corrigan's office, startling the Human doctor. Daniel gaped at the sudden appearance of Vulcan's planetary sovereign in his office, followed by the entourage that silently streamed in behind her. He had been summoned to his office at this early hour by an official, but he had no idea the order had first come from T'Pau.

"Er," was all he managed to get out before he was stunned again, this time by Amanda's arrival.

"Amanda?" His patient wore a strange, Vulcan-style dress of a kind he had not seen before, one clearly for some type of special occasion.

Amanda stood at T'Pau's side, apparently quite distracted from the matters at hand. Before Corrigan could ask her another question, T'Pau launched her own barrage. "I require a thorough report on this Human's condition."

"All right," Corrigan began slowly, wondering what this was about. "I'll first need Dr. Grayson's permission to give you that, and then I'll have to run some scans, depending on what you want to know."

T'Pau frowned. Vulcan healing methods were much more efficient. "How much time does your Human process require?" she asked, skeptical. "We do not have much."

Amanda looked over. "It's okay, Daniel," she said. "Scan away." Then her eyes went distant again.

Eyeing his patient quizzically, Corrigan began a series of routine health scans. Perplexed by the matriarch's cryptic comment, he was about to ask for clarification when his partner entered the office.

Sorel silently assessed the situation while T'Pau continued to interrogate his colleague.

"Are T'Sai Amanda's bio-readings within the norms for her species? Has she physically recovered from all aspects of her recent k'kan'es-vravshaya?"

Dimly, Amanda noticed T'Pau's long, very specific list of questions for the healers; it was evident the matriarch had thought about this event in detail. She hugged her sides, uncaring; her thoughts were drawn only to Sarek.

"What are her current bone density and lung capacity measures? How well has her body acclimated to Vulcan, and how do her capabilities compare to Vulcan physiological norms?"

Corrigan attempted to field these questions solo while noting that Sorel was providing a growing number and type of medical supplies without comment to one of T'Pau's attendants at the back of the room.

"What are the Human's nutrition and hydration requirements for periods of prolonged exertion over two to seven days?"

Is Amanda going on some sort of extreme desert trek? Corrigan wondered. Doubtful in that outfit…

Still scanning Amanda, Corrigan's eyes widened as his colleague added a heavy-duty dermal regenerator to the growing pile of supplies. At that moment, T'Pau asked her most important question.

"Is this female in sufficient physical and mental condition to withstand multiple days of sustained, rigorous, sexual activity with a mature Vulcan male?"

"What the hell?!" Corrigan shouted, dropping the sensor he was holding. It clattered to the floor amidst the sudden silence.

T'Pau regarded him silently, unflappable but curious, wondering what the reason could be for this Human's peculiar outburst.

Exasperated and worried, Corrigan explained himself. "With all due respect, Matriarch, I'm very concerned by the questions you are asking. It sounds to me like something potentially – and I mean no offense, but – something potentially very dangerous is being contemplated here."

T'Pau merely stared back at him.

He straightened up authoritatively. "I don't understand what's going on, but I'm not signing off on anything until I do. Dr. Grayson is my patient and I am responsible for her." He locked gazes with Vulcan's planetary leader, silently wondering if he was going to find himself deported or worse for his words.

T'Pau raised a venerable brow, almost bemused by the Human's belligerent stance. "Thee have not the understanding. All is as it must be," she told him, simultaneously unyielding and dismissive. Then she focused on Sorel.

The healer had been unnaturally quiet during the matriarch's entire bizarre interrogation as he silently provisioned the store of healing supplies to T'Pau's attendants. Corrigan had thought his silence was due to shared confusion about the situation or simply out of deference to the leader, but now he realized his colleague understood perfectly well what was happening and yet was strangely unwilling to add to the discussion.

T'Pau now demanded Sorel's attention. "Hakausu Sorel. You are the healer. Explain to the Human." With that she swept out of the room to confer with her attendants.

The look on Sorel's face was tragic. He would not meet Corrigan's eyes. Slowly, after a long pause and clearly forcing himself, he reluctantly murmured, "It… is her bondmate's… Time."

Corrigan's brows knitted, trying to understand. "Time? Time for what?"

An even more pained expression on his face, the Vulcan healer could only whisper, his eyes glued to the floor. "It is their… Time… of mating."

Corrigan's eyes widened, at first mystified and then amazed as he slowly put the pieces together. "It's a Vulcan… cycle?" he asked for confirmation, but Sorel resolutely kept his eyes pinned on the floor.

Okay… the doctor thought. Now very concerned for his patient and what she was possibly about to experience, he stepped toward her, scanner again in hand.

Amanda had stood distantly throughout this entire exchange, completely preoccupied.

"Amanda," Corrigan started, his voice low and concerned. "Are you sure you're all right? Are you okay with this? Do you understand what's happening?"

"What…?" she replied, only partially attentive. "Yes, I know what's happening; at least I think I do. And I'm fine. At least… fine enough. I wouldn't know any more, really." She turned to him abruptly. "What I am wondering is why I'm here." She turned again and began pacing anxiously back in forth in the doctors' office as though the very walls were holding her prisoner.

Corrigan doggedly followed and began scanning the agitated young woman again. Something – alien? – was clearly affecting her; she was not her normal self. Her body was reacting as though large amounts of adrenaline or a similar substance were circulating in her system, although he could detect no actual chemical surge as confirming evidence. Where are these effects coming from? From her Vulcan husband? How?

"Did you know about this, this cycle, before? Did you consent to be a part of it? What can you tell me?" Daniel queried, hoping to elicit any sort of useful information. His patient didn't reply, so he tried a different tack. "As far as I know, no Human has ever been through this. We don't even know what effects this will have on you – uh, beyond the obvious, that is… I'm sorry, Amanda, I —" the doctor stumbled, embarrassed, but Amanda failed to notice when she suddenly spun toward him again.

"He needs me. You can scan all you'd like, Doctor, until I get to the door. I can't wait any longer! I need to go to him. Where is T'Pau?"

Astonished, Corrigan watched her stalk away.

He turned back to his colleague. "Sorel, I don't like this. Amanda is healthy, but she doesn't have Vulcan strength or stamina, and to my knowledge at least, no Human has been involved in this before. Can't we delay this for awhile to get a better idea of her risks?"

The Vulcan regarded him gravely. "It is most certainly past time for that. To attempt any delay now of what must transpire will only result in violence… and death."

Corrigan's eyes widened again at this unexpected prognosis. Somberly, he asked, "Is there anything we can do?"

"Only what we have just done."

The Human shook his head. Dissatisfied, he probed further. "Does she have any choice in this?"

Sorel practically winced before turning away. "Yes," he acknowledged, and Daniel was relieved. But his next question died on his lips when Sorel preempted him. "I cannot explain."

Still seeking clarification, the doctor tried another line of questioning. "The violence… What percentage of the Vulcan population is affected by that?"

Sorel again refused to meet his gaze. "All of us," he whispered.

Taken aback, Daniel silently wondered. The fact that he and Sorel had had extensive discussions with the ambassador and his wife about enabling a pregnancy for them without this aspect of the Vulcan reproductive process coming up at all was astounding to him. As was his partner and friend's obvious and profound difficulty discussing it. Then another thought occurred to him. Given that this was his field, he couldn't resist asking.

"So, last summer when you took that sudden two weeks off, was that…?"

Now thoroughly humiliated, Sorel could only close his eyes.

Wow, Daniel thought, instantly regretting his question. "I'm sorry, Sorel. We're reproductive biologists, though. Why is this so difficult to…?"

The healer drew back uncomfortably before meeting the Human's eyes, this time almost defiantly. "No Vulcan reveals this. It is a private thing. It is simply not discussed."

Now it was the doctor's turn to be embarrassed, realizing he'd violated what was evidently a rigid societal taboo. "Oh. Er, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to… I apologize, Sorel."

"I must meditate," Sorel declared. He glanced at his colleague and friend. "It is - what is your Human phrase? – 'not regarding your person…'?"

"Oh – 'nothing personal,'" a dazed Corrigan automatically supplied.

"Yes. It is thus."

At that and with great relief, Sorel departed to re-collect himself.

Corrigan was left in the office alone, stunned at what had just transpired. It was perhaps the most surprising biological discovery of his lifetime, and yet clearly, he could share it with no one.

Of more concern, he worried about Amanda. He hoped he would see her again – alive.

Notes:

k'kan'es-vravshaya – pregnancy failure (miscarriage)

van-kal – ceremony