"If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one…because if you really loved the first one wouldn't have fallen for the second one."
A popular quote that Kaname once read on probably on a cheap magazine that people in the moon dorms collected. He was so angry after reading that line that he turned that piece of crap into ashes. But now that he looks backs a part of him even wonders whether that line was precisely correct.
Honestly never did Kaname once believed that he could love any other than Yuki; he loved her so much that he was ready to take each and every life that stood as a threat before her. He destroyed Zero's family, who did no harm to him just for Yuki's sake, to make sure she is safe from the wretched Rido Kuran. But what happened…she was never able to love him the way he desired. His mind always wondered was it wrong of him to selfishly expecting all her love for himself? Was it too much too want her all to himself? He consoled his mind saying it was okay even if she loved both him and Zero at the same time. But then if Yuki's love for him was truly strong enough would she have fallen for Zero? His mind started to panic when evidence started to flash before him that even if she chose him over that level-e; a larger portion of her heart was still left with him back at the academy. With each passing day it was evident that the love Yuki held for him was platonic and the love she held for him was lusty and passion filled.
Then there is Ruka who is madly in love with him? The reason for her love is the status that comes with him and the unearthly handsome features. She desired him the very same way many other aristocratic female desired him. The only difference between Ruka and all those female was that Ruka does not hide the way she feels about him. Always standing nearby and wagging her tail with anticipation. Any other savage brute in Kaname's place would have taken full advantage of the situation but no he was not like that, he is nothing like that. He was and is still a one woman man.
And then she came into his life in a sudden tempest. Aiyora. The innocent adolescent he was supposed to kill but could never do, instead he did all those stuff with her, that he despised in a man's nature. He is never going to deny that she was the first person he molested, he assaulted. In the back of his head he knew she was young and it was wrong of him to do what he was doing yet he did not stop. He made her the victim of his lust, his anger and probably his revenge. And what did she give him in return…? Her undying love and her unshared affection! She did not know about his status or his powers. All she knew about him was that he was an unhappy person; a person that she wanted to make happy. She looked at him with love, held him with affection, always greeted him with a smile and always at night cuddled against him tightly so that he no longer felt lonely. It was funny how always turned his negatives into positives.
And how can any man be it human or vampire resists such love? He too could not. His heart gave away.
Kaname released a deep breath bring himself out of all the thoughts. After all how long can someone go on thinking? It definitely time for some action. Kaname looked down at her sleeping form. Well she was not sleeping but rather pretending. Her way of avoiding him. It is something that she has been doing since the time he has forcefully brought her back nearly ten days ago. His strong spell made her sleep for three days constantly but as she awoke she said nothing to him even if he tried make a conversation she simply did not participate. Her dead eyes looked elsewhere in the room. He wanted to apologize, tried to explain himself but she simply paid him no means. He even went as far as to instigate intimacy but she only pushed him away.
Before entering the room Kaname saw that she was lying down straight on her back but sensing him enter the room she turned on her right side, with her back facing him. He voiced no protest just sat down behind her like a guilty child and noticed the quaking of her back. He could tell that her breathing was troubled. Her thirst is indeed taking a different turn it's becoming unbearable. Kaname Kuran knows he is playing a risky game, he is putting her life at stake, since at this point its only a matter of time that Aiyora will lose her mind and probably turn into on of those vicious Level-e.
He bent over to take a closer look at her only to see that her fringes falling from her face and revealing the scar atop the corner of her forehead. The scar got the pureblood's attention. He fingered it for a moment before placing a deep kiss over it. This scar serves as the memory of that horrendous day when Aiyora had to pay for winning over his heart, for loving him, for making him feel alive again. This scar shall forever stand as the proof that blood of an innocent life was spilled before it could even walk the earth. An innocent mother and child were harmed in the process of petty jealousy when they were not even aware of the real situation.
His eyes snapped opened hearing the soft sob and smelling her salty tears.
She is crying! Ai is crying! He cringed at the realization, anger pulsating through every fiber and cell he is made up off. The eyes that looked at him with love and respect all these time is crying today because of his close ones does not know how to mind their business. Heck what close one? He has no close ones...his only family is Aiyora.
"Do you love me?" It was her all of a sudden question? Actually the first time she is speaking to hi after these ordeals.
"I thought knew this answer?" he questioned back. "Didn't I already make it loud and clear?"
"I really don't know who to believe because my heart tells me you love me, I matter to you and mean everything to you in this world. Whereas my brain is debating that you are incapable to love anyone but yourself." She paused to let out another sob. "I really do not know who to trust."
Kaname Kuran opened his mouth but closed it off since there was no sentence that he could master to match her.
"What made a kind heart person like Yuki nee-san push me off the stairs?" Aiyora finally turned and looked at him in the eyes and she was not surprised when he looked away instead of answering.
Aiyora asked after a long silence all the while not taking her eyes off him. "You do not trust me...do you!?" Kaname was not sure whether it was a question or a statement. Possibly both.
She took notice of the tensed muscles of his shoulders.
"Am I not worthy of your trust?" She pushed yet no words left him, rather he just sat there like a statue.
His eyes closed down when her hand brushed over his beating heart. With the same hand she cupped his face and made him turn to her. Though she was successful at that but could not make him open his eyes. She leaned up and kissed over his forehead making him lean closer to her.
"…Eyan," She uttered his name hesitantly like she is now questioning whether that is indeed his real name.
"I am not sure how much of our conversation you recall but you gave me three different versions about your former fiancé. Once you told me she died, other time you told me she never loved you at all and the last time you told me he heart solely was not yours there was another man it too."
That got Kaname's attention making him open his wide to stare the petite female.
"Do you not wonder which version of it I truly believed?" She asked making him raise an eyebrow. "I believed all of it… All three of them."
"Do you not wonder how I felt about your fiancé?" Kaname was startled where this conversation was going. A part of him was trying to figure out whether she was suspecting him? Or worse did she figure out about Yuki? Or has someone told her about Yuki?
"You Know Eyan…a part of me was grateful to her for loving another man. Because if she would not have loved the other man you would not have loved me." She paused becoming completely silent for a while before starting again. "I always thought she was stupid…after all how can some fall in love with else when there is a loving man in her life to being with..."
Kaname looked at her with anticipation wondering what she is going to say next.
"…but now I realize she was not at fault to being with. How long can you continue to love some when you do not feel loved in return?"
Is she questioning my feelings? Kaname Kuran's eyes winded.
"After all these are you questing how much I love you?" He asked very calmly.
"No…I'm not questing just wondering because I know you love but I can see that you do not trust me." She cradled his face between her hands, brought it closer and placed a deep kiss upon his lip but pulled away before he could even return it from his side.
"But Eyan this is what You told me once that love is directly proportionate to trust. No matter how strong the love is it breaks if there is no trust. That is why I trust you…I trust you with all my heart but how can our love stay strong if the trust is only one sided?...how can this bond grow if there is no faith in it to begin with!?"
Her voice was overwhelmed with any kinds of emotions. He was able to look into her, see her through it all.
This time it is him who cradled her face and pulled her in for a kiss. But unlike Aiyora he did not pull away that fast. He continued kiss her till she gave into him, completely surrendering herself into his arms. Her arms wrapped around him one fisting into the fabric of his shirt on his back while the other one fisting on the back of his head grasping into his long dark locks. Whereas him on the other hand just kept and firm grasp on her face. The heated kiss continued longer than what either one of them had anticipated making them pull apart when the need for air was an absolute necessity.
It was then when Aiyora once more hoped from the deepest portion of her heart hoped that he will open up. But all he did was shatter them all to pieces soon as he recovered his breath because the next thing he did was simply walk out of the room leaving her behind dumbfounded.
"Is Eyan even your real name?" Aiyora almost screamed from the back unmoved from her position just as he was about to step out of her bedchamber making him frozen to the floor. He looked down at his feet in shame making his hair over more than half the portion of his face.
And finally the reply she received was…him walking out of the room and shutting the door to her face.
His heart ached to leave in in that moment but he desperately hoped that Aiyora would understand...because if she doesn't understand him who would. For now he is not able to help her but to keep in the dark hanging for a little while or maybe as long as possible. Then again Kaname too is well aware that the time is ticking...its getting close really close to that day that stands before him as his greatest fear!
For now the question is will he be able to bear to see the hatred in her eyes!? Probably not...
a/n: thank you all for reading hope you guys enjoyed it.
