Quickie:

SassyLostie - Yes, you were first this time. Very good. Hehe. Kidding. But your review baffled me a bit. There was no kidney! What is the world coming to!? p.s. Oh I wonder wonder what Clemmy threatened to tell...
Mathildou - Chapters left...hmm. I have up to Chapter 53 written. But that's not the last chapter. There's a lot I need to get out of my head and down on paper. Well...Microsoft Word. I guesstimated before that the story would end at 60 chapters, however I think it might be more like 65 chapters. Maybe more. I don't know. It depends on how things work out when I finally get them written.
sivan - Clementine was talking about the little secret she and Sawyer share. That none of you guys know a thing about yet! Hehe.

Now...

I got a lot of complaints about Cassidy again. And while last time she was around, she behaved the same way and I said I felt bad about that, I now realize why I made her so...need a pg-13 word for this...grouchy. Hah. I think it's the fact that I just don't like her at all...and I didn't really want to writer her character but I had to. I know I should have humanized her more, but what can ya do?

Lots of chit chatter about what Clementine meant when she said she'd tell Kate about "you know what".
Kids just say the darndest things, don't they!?

Anyway, just before the chapter, I feel kind of weird about this one. I don't know why. You'll let me know what you think though. And by the way, I'm really happy to be reviewing today. Hehe. I'm just in a crummy mood and whenever I update and get your reviews it makes me happy. So I'm looking forward to that feeling. Cheerio!
(Sorry, I'm eating Cheerios. lol)

Chapter 50

For a few minutes, Sawyer stood rooted to his spot, gazing down the empty road. Kate, who had been standing at the front door all the while, finally walked over to him.

"She'll be okay," she told him.

"I know."

"You are going to miss her…" she said quietly.

Silently, he turned around and started walking back toward the house. Kate followed, slowly. She wanted to say something, but could think of nothing. When they got inside, Sawyer sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. Kate left him alone, knowing he needed his space, and went about finding little things to occupy her time. Be it a magazine, playing with Mackenzie, or chores, she found ways to keep busy all day.

When she walked back into the living room that evening, Kate noticed the tea set still sitting on the coffee table, and wondered why it didn't seem to faze him. Walking around to the opposite side of the couch, she grabbed the remote and turned the TV off. His first impulse was to turn his head and stare at her.

"Are you going to walk around like a zombie now that she's gone?" Kate asked.

"No," he said, seemingly surprised at the question.

She stared at him a moment longer, then turned the TV back on. His attention switched immediately back to the TV. Kate, on the other hand, began to gather up the remnants of the tea party into the basket it had been in.

"It's all right to miss her," she told him.

He rolled his eyes. She looked down.

"I'm just saying…"

Sawyer remained silent, trying to focus on the television screen. Kate toyed with one of the miniature tea cups, contemplating how she could get him to speak to her - more than one or two words at a time.

"I have another appointment next week," she said.

He glanced at her. "When?"

"Tuesday morning."

"Why's it always in the morning?"

That's a start, she thought. "I don't know."

"You can't ask them for a better time?"

"Well no one said you had to come."

He quieted again.

"But you can, if you want." She smiled. "If you think you can wake up on time..."

"We'll see."

"Maybe you should. It would get your mind off Clementine. And…back on larger matters."

"Fine."

Kate sat on the coffee table, sighing.

"What should I do?"

"About what?"

"About you. You've been sitting here all day, staring at the TV screen in a funk."

"Called watching TV, Freckles."

"You haven't changed the channel once. There's no way you would sit and watch the same channel all day."

In response, he sneeringly picked up the remote and switched the channel, then threw it back onto the couch. Kate sighed.

"You also haven't eaten anything since breakfast."

"I'm not hungry."

"Not at all?"

"Nope."

"So I'm just overreacting, then?"

"Overreacting about what?" he asked, cynically.

"You're moping around!"

"So what if I am?"

"You know what? When you get over it, let me know," she said, getting up.

With that, she walked upstairs and left him to stare at the TV screen. He sat for a few more minutes, no longer able to concentrate on the television, then proceeded to turn it off and go upstairs to join Kate in bed.


Four days later, Kate's appointment came up and she and Sawyer were driving to the doctor's office.

"You didn't have to come, you know," she told him.

"You told me I should," he replied.

"I know. But I was just trying to get you to talk." She paused. "I could have just gone myself. It's no big deal."

"Would you quit your moanin' already? I'm goin' and that's that."

"Okay," she smiled.

They continued to drive silently until they reached the office. Sawyer followed Kate into the waiting room as she greeted the nurses. He looked around nervously, remembering the last time he was in the room with Aaron while Kate was being evaluated. He hated to be reminded of that day. All the grief and the thoughts of them losing a baby again sickening him…

"Kate?" called a nurse, snapping him out of his trance.

He looked up and saw it was Amy. He remembered her because of her freckles. Instantly, Kate rose and walked toward the door. Sawyer did too, but Kate stopped him.

"Are you sure you wanna come?"

"Are you gonna ask me this every time?" he retorted.

She smiled and followed Amy without another word, knowing Sawyer was still right behind her. They were left alone in the room, awaiting Dr. Park's arrival.

"Are you sure you want me here?" he teased.

"Are you always gonna ask me that?" she replied playfully.

"So you can be taught…"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He laughed. "Nothin'."

"You better watch it."

"Or what?"

"Or that couch will have your name all over it."

"Is that a threat?"

"Oh yeah," she laughed.

Just then, Dr. Park entered the room.

"Hello Kate," she greeted. "And James. Wonderful to see you again."

"Likewise, Doc."

"And how are we doing today?" she asked Kate.

"Good."

"Anything out of the ordinary?"

"Not that I can tell."

"Okay. Lie back for me and we'll get started."

Sawyer watched Dr. Park turned the machines on, and Kate lift up her shirt as she lied down. Once the machine was on, his focus stayed on the screen only. He watched the white traces of his child appear as Dr. Park moved the device around on Kate's stomach.

"Everything seems to be okay," Dr. Park told them. "Heartbeat is good…"

Sawyer stared, amazed by how much it had grown since the picture Kate had shown him. It actually looked like a baby now.

"It's a little early, but I'm pretty sure I could tell you two what it is today," she said, smiling at them.

Kate and Sawyer exchanged a glance.

"Well, I…" Kate started. Then she looked at Sawyer again. "What do you want to do?"

"May as well, Freckles."

Kate glanced away, in thought. Sawyer noticed the tiniest grin tugging at her lips, and suddenly knew exactly what she was thinking.

"I think we can wait," she told Dr. Park, then switched her gaze to Sawyer.

"Are you sure?"

Kate didn't say anything, but she didn't have to. Sawyer understood completely - waiting would be more of an adventure.

"Yeah," he answered for her.


The car ride home was quiet, as usual. Kate was lost in thought, and Sawyer's only focus was on the road.

"What do you think of Aidan?" she said suddenly.

"Who's Aidan?"

"I mean as a name."

"For the kid?"

"Yeah."

"You're thinkin' of names already?"

"Well, when she told us she could tell us what it was, it got me thinking about names…"

"Maybe we should wait 'til we know what it is?"

"Well, we should at least have a few in mind."

He quieted for a moment. "Aidan?"

"It's just a thought."

"I don't like it."

"Of course you don't," she grinned.

"You know, I could damn you to the couch too, Freckles."

"You'd put out a pregnant woman?"

"No, but I'd put you out."

"You would, huh?"

"You don't believe me?"

"Of course I believe you," she said half-heartedly.

"Do you want me to stop the truck?" he said, staring at her in disbelief.

She laughed. "Just keep your eye on the road."