Okay so read and review this one because I have the next one already written, I've had it together for a while now and I was trying to figure out where to insert it at.
Also, I promise I'm still working on Turmoil… it's just difficult to write.
Olivia and Elliot had already done almost everything in their relationship backwards.
They'd been friends for years, the feelings were there, they'd be moving in together in the future…
"You ready, El?" Olivia asked as she emerged from the master bathroom.
Elliot was sitting on the bed watching the flat screen TV that was on the wall in the main bedroom. He had on some khaki pants and a nice button up shirt. Even though he knew they were going out to eat, he was slowly shoving peanuts in his mouth as he watched a criminal show. Elliot was pretty sure he'd already figured out the plot and who the perp was, in fact, he thought he remembered the real-life case it must be based on.
"Yeah… holy shit…" He whispered under his breath as he turned his head to look at Olivia.
She was a vision. Her hair was curled, it'd been getting longer since she'd initially chopped it off all those months ago. Her dress was a light red summer dress. It showed no cleavage and she'd picked it for that very reason. It was sleeveless and flowy, all the way to her knees.
Olivia wore a pair of brown sandals with it.
She looked at him in disbelief as she rolled her eyes. Walking over to him swiftly, she took the jar of peanuts out of his hands and put the lid on it. Elliot raised his hands in surrender.
"You know we're going out to eat…" She told him in a playful manor, getting onto him for his behavior.
He shrugged.
"It's a bad habit…"
Olivia left the bedroom and headed to the kitchen in search of her purse, which was on the counter where she'd left it.
They were finally doing it. Date night.
Elliot turned the TV off, then hopped out of bed to follow her. He was still in awe of her beauty.
"Hey…" He called after her down the hallway.
"You've got the keys right?" She asked as she stood at the counter digging through her purse. "And… and you know where this place is at right?" Olivia questioned, as she dug deeper into her purse, most likely seeking out her wallet or anxiety pills. Or both.
"Hey…" Elliot tried again as he reached her.
"And it's not crowded, right? It's just… a small place, you said?" She continued, her hand finally emerging from her purse clutching her lipstick. Oh, lipstick, yeah, that makes sense too.
"Hey." Elliot said louder as he touched her upper arm, causing her to turn around and look at him with wide eyes.
"You look amazing…" He told her slowly as he leaned in to give her a kiss. She smiled against his lips as he felt her arms lock behind his neck.
"Thanks…" She whispered as she pulled away, but left her arms locked behind his head, her right hand still clutching her lipstick. "You smell good." She replied.
Elliot was wearing his normal cologne. The kind they kept around the house for her triggers and flashbacks. It was a calming smell to her, made her feel safe and let her know that he was there in her vicinity.
"Thanks." He replied.
…
Instead of driving, they'd decided to walk. The place was only a little way down the road and the sun was setting. The view was absolutely beautiful, and the temperature was perfect.
They walked hand-in-hand to the small restaurant.
"You talked to Eli lately?" she wondered, after they were seated at their private booth.
"Ah, no… he seems too busy to give his old man a ring…" Elliot told her, with sympathy in his eyes, as if he knew that she would blame herself for the lack of time that he spent with his son. "But… he's good… soccer's good… he loves life in general…" He said with a tiny shrug.
She gave him a genuine smile. "That's good…." She replied.
Elliot smiled as he reached for a cheese fry, which is the appetizer that they'd chosen.
"What about you?" He asked. "How's Nick and the gang?" He questioned, trying to make conversation.
Olivia sighed and shook her head with a smile.
"He's good from what I hear… he's doing alright." She replied as she reached for a fry. "Amanda's good… I think…" Olivia trailed off as she shoved the fry in her mouth.
"You think?" He asked.
Olivia nodded as she swallowed her food and then wiped her hands on her napkin that was in her lap.
"Yeah…" She shrugged. "As good as anyone can be that's dating Tucker I supposed…." She replied as she reached for another fry, and this time dipped it in ranch dressing before taking a bite.
Elliot's eyebrows shot up in surprise.
"So, that's really a thing, huh?"
She nodded again.
"Yep, apparently…. And from what I can gather, it got serious rather quickly." Olivia told him, then reached for her sweet tea, taking a swallow.
"Wow." Elliot said as he got another fry and shoved it into his mouth. Taking his time to chew and swallow before he spoke again. "I would say we should worry about her but…. after how he treated you with the… ahhh…. well, he was nice. I see him differently now." He commented. It was true, Tucker had shown his softer side after Olivia's attack.
"We?" Olivia asked in slight surprise and with humor. She was teasing him.
"Yeah." Elliot smiled, taking a bite of his fry. "We." He confirmed. "What's mine is yours… your friends are my friends… well, for the most party anyways…" He said, chewing and swallowing. "Besides, I like blondie." Elliot replied.
"Good." Olivia replied, thinking about how Amanda might be the only real female friend that she had right now. "She likes you too… especially your chest." She said, wagging her eyebrows for a dramatic effect.
"Mmmm…" Elliot replied, as he pretended to be thinking. "Then I'll have to make sure to be shirtless around her more often…" He said.
Olivia laughed and shook her head. "You didn't need that ego boost." She said, rolling her eyes playfully.
Then the waitress arrived with their food. Olivia had ordered a burger with onion rings. For some reason, that'd been her go-to food when she'd eat out lately. Elliot had opted for grilled chicken and mashed potatoes, completely aware that Olivia would steal a few bites of both.
They fell into an awkward silence as they began to eat their main meals.
"Does this feel kind of…"
"Weird?" Olivia asked with a small smile.
"Yeah." Elliot said, smiling back. "Like we're undercover or playing a role and should be looking around to spy on a perp…"
Olivia shrugged.
"I think it's just… new to us." She told him as she took a bite of her burger.
He nodded in agreement, taking a bite of mashed potatoes and swallowing.
"I haven't really been on many first dates… two to be exact. Well, three… no, we'll say two." Elliot told her.
Olivia raised her eyebrows. She was all the sudden curious about his dating life.
"Who were the two?" She asked as nonchalantly as possible as she bit into one of her onion rings.
Elliot smiled. She couldn't hide it no matter how hard she tried. There was a touch of curious jealousy in Olivia Benson's eyes as she stared at him, waiting for his response.
He just shook his head and let out a small laugh.
"Well?" She asked him expectantly, taking another bite of her onion ring.
"You and Kathy, Liv…" He replied, reaching over to steal an onion ring, taking a page out of her book in the food department.
"I… Oh…" She said, obviously she hadn't expected him to include their date in his tally. And she truly had no room to be jealous, she'd been on tons of 'first dates'…
Olivia knew Kathy had been his first, well, basically his first everything. First date, ever. First kiss, first sexual partner, first love. He'd had a lot of 'firsts' with the woman and to be honest, Olivia didn't think there was a better woman that he could have experienced all of those 'firsts' with.
Her eyebrows crinkled in confusion.
"So, who was the possible third?" She asked, then took another bite of her burger and wiped her mouth on her napkin.
Elliot scratched the back of his head with his right hand before taking a sip of his coke.
"The redhead?" He questioned. "I don't know… do you consider drinks and nachos at a bar as a first date? Or eating sandwiches at a booth in Subway? Or… I don't know…" He asked in seriousness as he shrugged.
It wasn't like he'd had a lot of experience dating to begin with. He'd knocked Kathy up a few months after they'd been together and then they got married right away. Shotgun wedding. Olivia had far more experience than he did, and he was well aware of that fact after working with her for twelve years and watching her come in either complaining about how badly a date went, how good it went, or just hung over and tight lipped about whether or not there'd even been a date.
Olivia's eyes widened ever so slightly as her eyebrows rose once again in surprise.
"I… I thought y'all were just… fuck buddies…" She replied, as she tilted her head slightly and reached for her tea. All the sudden her mouth was very dry.
"We were." He promised her. "That's why… no, I'm sure those weren't dates…" Elliot told her more confidently. "Yeah." He said, looking towards the ceiling in thought, as if he was trying to remember the time line that they'd followed.
Olivia nodded. She was beginning to realize that this redheaded woman was more than just the occasional 'meet up and fuck' type of relationship. Which would almost make sense being that Elliot had never actually had just a 'fuck buddy' type of relationship and now she was doubting if he was even capable of it.
"Tell me more about her…" Olivia asked calmly as she put her left forearm on the table and probed her head up with her right hand.
"I… she's not competition for you." He assured her quickly.
"I know." Olivia nodded slightly. "I just… I want to know more." She told him. Olivia could still read him for the most part, not as good as she used to be able to, but she could see that something was bubbling beneath the surface.
Elliot swallowed hard and took a deep breath.
"Well… she had red hair…" He started.
Olivia laughed.
"I'm serious, El." She told him.
He nodded but began to look a bit uncomfortable.
"Okay, well… we met at a bar, you know that." He said, and she nodded in agreement. "I took her back to my place that night, at her insistence might I add…" He continued, and Olivia smiled. "The next morning, when I woke up, she was still in my bed, hadn't snuck out early or anything… and I know that's how most one-night stands go…she woke up, saw my ring on my dresser and freaked out…" Elliot said, letting out a small laugh and rubbed at the back of his head in embarrassment as he briefly looked down at his lap.
Olivia rolled her eyes as she continued to smile. "You're attached to it, that's okay, El…" She replied, remembering how he still was wearing it when he'd come back into her life. It had been his safety net.
Elliot took a small break to take a bite of his chicken that he'd cut up. Olivia grabbed her fork and stole a bite of it as well.
"I explained to her that I was freshly divorced… that it'd been a difficult transition for me…"
"And she believed you?" Olivia asked curiously.
Elliot shrugged.
"It helped that the divorce papers were still on my dresser…" He said almost shyly.
"Babe…" Olivia said sadly as she reached across the table to grab his hand.
She knew the divorce had been hard for him and Kathy. They had five kids and had been together forever, but she hadn't realized it'd been this hard on him. She'd just assumed since they'd started divorce proceedings before Eli and had signed papers back then too, that it would've been easier for him the second time.
What if it was easier the second time? That would mean that the first time had torn him up far more than he'd allowed her to see, and her heart ached that he hadn't let her be there for him. However, at the same time, she understood why. He needed to process and deal with it on his own, without her interference, especially since they had feelings for each other. It was probably an extremely confusing time for him.
"I… I'm fine now. Everything's fine." He said quickly as he took her hand. "I have you, I'm okay. Everything's good." Elliot promised her, giving her hand a gentle squeeze before they each retracted their hands and began picking at their food once more.
He'd truly been lost without Kathy just has he had when they'd separated the first time and almost divorced. Elliot had never truly been alone until those moments. He didn't know what to do without a woman by his side.
"So…." Olivia egged him on to continue.
"She liked me and liked the idea of being a rebound for me I guess…" He said shrugging as he reached over and grabbed a cheesy fry to pop in his mouth. "She'd just gotten out of a rough relationship and said she just wanted a few weeks of fun before considering committing to someone again…" Elliot told her after he'd chewed and swallowed his fry.
Olivia nodded in understanding. Clearly Elliot and this woman had both been looking for a rebound and maybe they hadn't even known it at the time.
"You have a picture of her?" Olivia asked, smiling inquisitively.
"No." He said, trying to shut down her motives. "I think she has a facebook…" He told her off handedly, then immediately realized his mistake. "No." He said again as he saw Olivia reach for her purse that was sitting beside her in the booth. He knew she was going for her phone. "You can't even look at it. You have to have a facebook to look at other people's facebooks." Elliot told her.
Olivia ignored him as she reached her phone, pulling it up to her face as she put her glasses on with the other hand, and clicked on the facebook app.
Elliot gave her an unimpressed look.
"I know you do not have a facebook, Olivia…." He told her matter-of-factly… as if he'd searched for her facebook account before he'd come back into her life.
"I have a fake one…" She replied as she pulled up the search bar. "What's her name?" Olivia questioned, looking at him over the top of her glasses expectantly.
"Why do you have a fake facebook?" He asked, then pressed his lips tightly together after realizing he was going to have to give her a name or she'd never let him hear the end of it.
Olivia rolled her eyes.
"To keep up with Nick and Amanda… and SVU and IAB have facebook pages too. They made all the branches get one last year because it was good for publicity. Then they hired social media coordinators to run them." Olivia explained.
She'd never actually considered getting a facebook page until she found out both Nick and Amanda had them. Olivia enjoyed keeping up with Nick. Most of his posts were about either Zara or re-posts of some funny pictures or memes. Amanda on the other hand didn't update much but when she did, it was usually an artsy photo of a sunset, landscape, or spray-painted wall somewhere in the city. Her photos were actually quite beautiful.
Elliot's departure would have been a lot easier on her if they would've both had facebook accounts and been friends on there. At least she would have had him virtually, even if he would have never posted anything…
"Why a fake one?" He asked curiously as he picked at his chicken with his fork.
"Because…" Olivia told him quietly as she huffed in annoyance. "I did make a real one, then after the assaults… a shit ton of people started recognizing me and my name from the news and they… they started messaging me their sympathies and I got a ton of friend requests… it was just too much. So, I deleted it and made this one." She explained.
"I see." Elliot empathized with her. He wouldn't be able to wake up and see tons of messages from strangers talking about the assault either.
"Name." Olivia demanded lightly as she prepared to type it in.
He rolled his eyes and groaned lightly but complied.
"Whitney…" Elliot said lowly, then reached for his glass of coke. Olivia stared at him intently, sending him the message that she was awaiting the last name. "Thompson." He huffed out, then took a sip of coke as he prepared himself for whatever Olivia's reaction would be.
"Hmmm…" Olivia said as she scrolled through all of the Whitney Thompsons located in the New York area. "There's a lot… but there's only one redhead that I see…" She said, more so to herself than to Elliot as she clicked on the one redheaded Whitney. "Oh, but wait… this can't be…" Olivia trailed off as she looked at the girl's profile. "I think I have the wrong one…." She stated as she frowned slightly, but it only took one glance at Elliot to tell her that she had in fact clicked on the right one, and he couldn't even see her phone from where he was sitting.
Olivia lifted her head slightly, looking at him through her glasses this time.
"Elliot?" She said calmly. "How old is Whitney?" She asked, tilting her head to the side slightly.
He shook his head and raised his eyebrows as he looked away.
"Not that old…" Elliot replied.
"Elliot…" Olivia inquired more, then held her phone out for him to look at the profile picture. "Is this the Whitney you are talking about?" She asked carefully.
He nodded.
She swallowed hard.
"Jesus…" Olivia whispered as she retracted her arm and began clicking on her phone again with her finger. "Elliot… she's… wow."
He raked his right hand down his face.
"I know."
"She's… twenty-six." Olivia nearly stuttered.
Elliot was almost fifty. There was easily a twenty-year age gap.
"I know…" He replied.
"And… fake boobs, nice fake boobs… flat stomach… and, god, look at that ass." Olivia gulped again as she continued to scroll through the photos that were set to allow the public to view. She wasn't really aware that it sounded like she was checking this woman out, well, in a way she actually was.
"I… I know…" He said as his buried his face in his hands and propped his elbows on the table.
"Fuck… she's gorgeous…" She said as she clicked on a picture that was clearly from the summer, showing Whitney at the beach in a brown bikini. Her skin was covered with freckles and from previous pictures, Olivia could tell her eyes were so green and beautiful.
Whitney may have been twenty-six, but she could pass for thirty, maybe a couple of years older. She looked like a decent person from what Olivia could tell.
Olivia thought about how Maureen was significantly older than this young woman but at the same time, Maureen had been born when Elliot was seventeen. Olivia couldn't remember how old Kathleen was.
Elliot put his hands down and let out a nervous laugh.
"She's younger than my oldest kid… I'm insane…" He told Olivia, shaking his head.
After a few more seconds, Olivia put her phone back in her purse, but not before sending the girl a friend request.
She shook her head as she looked at him and smiled.
"And I thought your fancy car or nice apartment was your midlife crisis…" She joked as she resumed eating.
Elliot gave her an unimpressed look.
"I meant what I said…" Olivia said. "She's beautiful, seems like a fun, outgoing person." She stated as she began to chew the bite of burger she'd taken.
"You don't think I'm gross… or…" Elliot asked hesitantly, looking at her eyes and trying to read her. He wasn't sure what she'd think. They'd worked so many pedophile cases together and to be honest, when he found out her age, that's the first place his mind went.
Olivia laughed and smiled.
"No." She denied. "You know the kinds of girls Fin dates…." She reminded him.
Fin, while he tried to keep his girls a secret because they were mostly 'fuck buddies' or one-night stands, always ended up getting found out by Olivia one way or another. Olivia didn't judge him for it and he made sure to see that the women he was with were always of a certain age that was way over the age of consent. Fin wasn't a commitment man and he hadn't been ever since his first marriage ended. Personally, Olivia thought he'd been too hurt by his ex-wife and was now afraid of commitment, but he'd not been too open when she'd tried to approach the subject in the past.
"So, what's her story?" She asked, taking a bite of onion ring.
Elliot's eyebrows knitted together in confusion.
"Oh, come on." Olivia insisted. "She was fucking a nearly fifty-year-old man… she's gotta have some kind of story…"
He gave her another unimpressed look and sat up straighter, puffing his chest out.
"I'm still in my forties…" He reminded her swiftly.
Olivia snorted and cocked an eyebrow. "Not for long…" She retorted.
Elliot took a deep breath and let a smile play across his lips. He knew she was only picking. He looked down and popped a piece of chicken in his mouth, chewing and swallowing before speaking again. Olivia helped herself to his plate once more.
"Daddy issues." He said quietly.
Olivia looked up and tried to study his face, trying to get a read on what exactly 'daddy issues' meant specifically.
"Nothing like we worked… nothing sexual." He assured her as he swallowed a spoon full of mashed potatoes. "He was just… absent. Left when she was a little kid… ran out on her and her mom… she barely remembers him, only bits and pieces." Elliot finished, shrugging.
Olivia winced slightly.
"That must have been tough." She replied. Her father had left her too in a way, he'd known about her, even tried to call her once but never cared enough to make contact, well, probably because he raped her mom and didn't want to confront her about it…
Elliot nodded. "Yeah… she seemed okay though, just sad about it at times…" He said, as he picked at his chicken.
"That's… not great but… I guess it beats her dwelling on it all the time or picking up a bad habit like drugs or alcohol because of it." Olivia reasoned, trying not to think about herself and her past drug usage (even if it wasn't voluntary) and alcohol tendencies that she now had added to her life record that she kept in her head.
"Yeah." He agreed.
Silence fell upon them again as they finished up their food. Nearly all of Elliot's mashed potatoes were gone and of course, Olivia reached over, scooping up the last bite and gave him a small grin because she knew he wouldn't be mad. After all, that bite had been sitting here for a few minutes. She could tell he'd been saving it for her just like she'd reached over and put her last onion ring on his plate. That was just how they worked.
"It's okay to like her and be attracted to her, you know…" Olivia commented, breaking the silence because she could see him dwelling on their conversation in his head. His gears were turning. "Just…" Olivia started. "If she contacts you again… don't forget to tell her that you're taken now." She replied with a husky smile.
Elliot shot her a small grin.
"She knows." He told her straight up.
"Does she now?" Olivia questioned, narrowing her eyes in wonder and curiosity of what Elliot had actually told this girl about her.
He nodded.
"She knew about you when we were…. Fuck buddies." He explained.
Olivia tilted her head to the side as she continued to listen.
"She knew what I used to do for a living and that you were my partner… she also kind of knew your name from the news…" Elliot told her cautiously.
She swallowed hard, her eyes now more alert and focused.
"Well, that's just… great…" She said sarcastically and began picking at the bun of her half-eaten burger.
"No…" Elliot spoke up quickly, wiping his mouth with his napkin. "It's not like… she's not like that. She's kind and not judgmental…." He tried to sooth her fears. "She's been through shit too. Not… not like the stuff you've dealt with but…" Elliot tried to explain.
Olivia gave him a sympathetic look. Nearly no one would ever go through what she'd had too. Her situation was too specific.
Elliot looked around and took a deep breath.
"So…" He began as his eyes locked on hers. "A few weeks after we'd been… friends… she calls me up, right?" He says. "I'm at my apartment doing nothing and the phone rings. It's her… She's frantic and scared and… and crying. I can tell something's wrong. My cop instincts are going off the meter." Elliot explains.
Olivia is staring at him and listening intently.
"So, she keeps apologizing, saying she's sorry but that she needs help… she sends me a pin drop from her iPhone because she has no idea where the hell she is. I go to pick her up and she is apologizing profusely, saying she knows we don't work like this and that we only call each other for fucks…" He continues as he grits his teeth and breaks eye contact to look around the restaurant. "I look at her in disbelief because as she's getting in my car with all these apologies, she's covered in blood. Her nose was bleeding and she had a black eye… there was this huge ass bruise the size of a hand print on her upper arm and wrist…" Elliot told Olivia. His face was reddening as he continued to talk. She could see his anger rising.
He swallowed and took a deep breath before he looked at her again.
"Her asshole ex had claimed he'd wanted to talk, that he was sorry and so because she's nice and forgiving, she agreed to meet up with him, only he picked her up and then beat the fuck outta her and dropped her on the side of the road in the fucking rain and so she's soaking wet and she's apologizing like crazy for getting my car wet and bloody but I coulda cared less…" Elliot said, taking another deep breath.
Olivia tilted her head to the side and looked at him in amazement. He was such a hero, a modern-day hero. He was not only her hero, but he saved people on a daily basis just about. She wanted to reach out and touch him, but Olivia felt that it wasn't the right time, so she continued to listen.
"I took her to the ER even though she didn't want to go… Dr. Patrick treated her… he though she was a rape vic when he first saw me there. I had to explain that I'd retired…" Elliot told her. "Whitney's wrist was broken, and she was given some pretty good pain meds for all her injuries… she had a concussion as well."
"You stayed with her…" Olivia said, knowing Elliot and his tendencies.
He nodded. "I stayed with her for the next few days… held her when she cried… listened to her blame herself then told her how it wasn't her fault."
"You're one hell-of-a-man, Elliot." Olivia commented softly, her eyes were full of love for him.
He gave her a small smile.
"She knows my story. Not near as much as you do but… she knows I went through some shit and she knows I've seen some shit at SVU… Whitney's smart enough to know that you went through hell and she probably thought you were raped after the first attack, but she'd never say something like that to me because she knows how much I care about you…"
Olivia gave him a tinder smile. This Whitney girl sounded like a pretty decent person, and Elliot was a pretty good judge of character. If he signed off on her, then she must be decent at the very least.
"She sounds like a good person." Oliva told him genuinely.
"She is." He agreed.
"It'd be really easy to have feelings and fall for someone like that…" She told him softly.
Elliot shrugged.
"My heart already belonged to someone else…" He said, giving her a smile. "She's kept her distance since I moved in with you but… I told her if she ever needed me… if he ever came back, to give me a call…" Elliot explained, hoping Olivia wouldn't have a problem with that.
She nodded. "She sounds like a respectable woman, who respects you and… and me. If she needs something or is ever in trouble, please let her know I'm on board too."
Elliot's heart started pounding in his chest. Just when he thought he couldn't love her more. Not only was Olivia friends with his ex-wife, but she was also willing to go above and beyond for the last woman that he'd been with. She was unbelievable.
He smiled.
"Speaking of the ex…" Olivia said, giving Elliot a knowing look, then smiled at the waitress as she laid their check down on the table and walked away. "What did you do to him?" She questioned, looking back at him.
He shrugged. "Not much…"
Olivia bore her eyes into him, compelling him to tell her.
"He may or may not have had a busted nose, two black eyes, and some bruising to the gut…"
She shook her head at him.
"El…" She said in her 'you're in trouble, you know better' voice.
"He knows that if he every lays a fucking hand on her again, I'll kick his ass." Elliot stated as he laid cash down on their table and left a tip for the waitress to the side.
Olivia's lips were pressed into a thin line, but she knew there was nothing she could do. When Elliot was passionate about something and protective over someone, there was no swaying him.
"You ready to go?" She asked.
"Yeah." He said, staying up and holding his hand for her.
It was a good first date. Maybe the topic would've been too heavy for normal people but these two were far from normal.
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