Chapter 54
"I need to speak with him you asshole!" Jezzy screamed at Marcus, the Death Eater that had brought her breakfast that morning.
He glared at her. "I'll see what I can do, Mrs. Malfoy, but the Dark Lord is very busy at the moment and can't hardly be troubled with the whims of a pregnant woman."
Rage filled her as it only had a few times in her life and she lunged at him, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and yanking him nearly off his feet.
"You do as you're told you insufferable little pissant or I will make you wish you never saw the light of day." Her voice was low and menacing and his eyes dilated with fear.
He gulped. "Yes, of course Mrs. Malfoy. Right away."
He practically ran out of the room, locking the door behind him. She began to pace again, something she had been doing for the past three days; waiting, always waiting for the Dark Lord to give her a new project. Something to keep her busy, to keep her mind off the fact that she hadn't seen her family in months; hadn't seen her husband in weeks. She pushed her hair out of her face roughly and let out a frustrated growl.
Retracing her steps, she walked back and forth. Bed, window, bathroom, window, bed and back to the bathroom. Crazy, crazy, crazy! She was going fucking nuts in this room. The windows wouldn't open, they wouldn't let her leave this room. She forced the hair out of her face once more and turned back toward the bed. How long would it take him to come to her? How long would she be waiting for him, again?
She growled loudly and picked up the bedside lamp, throwing it across the room where it crashed into the wall and broke with a loud crash. She again pushed her hair out of her face and looked out the window. She had tried to break it more than once, knowing that it was unbreakable. She didn't care anymore. She needed to get out! She heard a faint pop behind her and turned to see the Dark Lord standing before her.
"I hear that you have need to speak with me." He said quietly, looking at the remnants of the lamp.
"I need to get out. I need out of this room. I need fresh air. I need to see my children. I need to see my husband…." He stared at her, maddening her further.
"The terms of service…."
"FUCK THE TERMS OF SERVICE! I'M GOING FUCKING CRAZY IN HERE!" Her breathing was heavy and she began to pace again.
He continued to stare at her passively. She looked like a wild thing; her hair was disheveled, not only from her constantly running her hands through it, but because she didn't care to brush it. She didn't care about anything but getting out of there.
"I cannot allow you to see your family, you must realize this."
She stopped her pacing and looked over her shoulder at him. "Then give me something to do! Let me breath fresh air!"
He narrowed his eyes at her, the crimson irises barely visible. "No, and you will do well to remember to treat me and my Death Eaters with respect."
"I AM A DEATH EATER!" She screamed at him.
He lifted his wand and pointed it at her heart. "Jezabel, you will do well to obey me or I will kill that thing inside you! It would be a shame to kill a Pureblood before it has a chance to live and serve the greater good."
Tears started to pour out of her eyes but she paid no attention to them. She began to hyperventilate as she paced again. She needed out. Why didn't he understand that? Why didn't he give her credit for all the help she had given him over the years? Why didn't he cut her some slack? She felt her knees buckle and sank to the floor, putting her head on her knees, trying to catch her breath; trying to calm herself.
"I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this." She repeated it over and over again until her voice was just a whisper and she had stopped shaking.
When she looked up he was gone and she started to cry in earnest. Suddenly she threw her head back and screamed at the top of her lungs until she couldn't breathe and her throat was raw. She picked up anything she could throw and smashed it until it was unrecognizable. When she had destroyed anything she could lift she took the knife she used for potion making and tore at the sheets on her bed. She slit the pillows and threw feathers everywhere. Finally, when there was nothing left she fell to the floor and sobbed pitifully until she passed out. She dreamt of better times. Time with her family and her loved ones. Times of freedom and fresh air. Times when she was sure her mind was hers. Times before she was sure her mind was slipping from her inch by inch.
Rhiannon and Cam were getting ready for bed when Lucius came to check on them. Rhiannon smiled at her father and hugged him tight as she crawled into bed with her little brother. Cam had started sleeping in her bed when Jezzy had left. He told her that he felt safe there and she didn't mind; she needed the company too. Lucius tucked them in and kissed their foreheads.
"Which story is it tonight?" He asked.
"The Warlock's Hairy Heart!" Rhiannon said.
"Babbity Rabbity and Her Cackling Stump!" Cam shouted.
Lucius smiled. "Alright, you can have both."
They squealed and clapped their hands. Lucius smiled down at them and grabbed the story book off the bedside table. He flipped through the pages, looking for the two stories and finding them rather quickly.
"Now, which one to read first I wonder?" He asked himself and raised an eyebrow at Cam.
He sighed. "Ladies choice first." He didn't sound the least bit happy about this, but Lucius smiled at his son and nodded his head in agreement.
He read the first story, changing his voice to fit the characters much to the delight of his children. Once he was finished with that one he went on to the next, again changing his voice to imitate each character. When he was finished he closed the book and set it aside. He started to rise when Cam spoke.
"Daddy?"
"Yes, son?"
"Is mommy dead?"
Lucius gulped at the question. He hadn't told Rhiannon or Cam exactly where there mother was, only that she was gone and would return when she was finished with her work. He dreaded the questions that they asked, but answered them as best he could. He looked at his son now, tears in the little boys eyes nearly bringing them to his own.
"No. No your mother is not dead. She's just away. I told you this."
"Then did you two get a divorce? Is that why mommy won't come home?" Rhiannon asked.
"Where are you two getting these ideas?" When they both shrugged he sighed. "Your mother is fine. She will be home as soon as she's finished. I don't want to hear anything else on the subject, is that clear?"
They nodded and he kissed them and left the room. Once in his Study and sank into his chair and sighed. He lean his forehead on his hand and succumbed to the tears that had threatened earlier. He missed his wife. Once he was sure that the unmanly tears had stopped he took out a scroll of parchment and his quill and began to pen a message to Severus. Xanthus needed to finish his job quickly. It had already been far too long in his eyes. What on earth was that boy up too?
Xanthus rushed out of his last class of the day and to the seventh floor. He didn't have to get up early the next day and was determined to put a bigger dent in the room. He wondered briefly if he would be able to acquire more help if he asked, but dismissed this thought. He already had Dru and Vinny helping him, although it would be a lot easier if they could both help him at the same time.
Once he was in the room he began where he left off the night before, sifting through piles of discarded items. He spied a pile of books and decided to move over to those since what he was looking for was a book.
"If they were on a shelf this would be much easier." He muttered to himself.
Two hours later and he had moved a little further away from the door. He looked up and wiped the sweat and dust off his forehead. He was already exhausted. He sighed and went back to his work.
Severus folded the letter from Lucius and sighed. He didn't know what else he could do to help the boy at his task. He had done everything he was allowed to do. He leaned back in his chair and sat back up quickly. His mark had burned and he knew he had to get out of the castle as soon as possible. He grabbed his cloak and swept out of the room.
He walked briskly to Hogsmead and Apparated to where he had been called from. He stood before the Dark Lord and saw that he was very angry. He hoped against hope that he wasn't angry with him.
"Ah, Severus. Perhaps you can tame the wild shrew upstairs." The Dark Lord said, his voice riddled with anger.
"My Lord?"
"You know where she is staying. Go."
Severus nodded and made his way up the stairs to Jezzy's room. He tapped his wand against the door and turned to knob. What he walked in on was chaos. The room had been torn to shreds. Feathers and broken furniture were lying everywhere and there was no sign of Jezzy. He took a deep breath.
"Jezabel?"
A dark head poked out of the bathroom, it's hair wild and knotted. "Severus?" Croaked the voice.
"Jezzy what on earth has happened here?" He went to her and drew her into his arms.
She went willingly, her tears returning as she clung to him. "Severus." She sobbed.
He let her cry and held her when her knees gave out on her. They sank to the floor and he rocked her back and forth, shushing her and stroking her wild hair. When she finally stilled he looked down at her and saw that she was fast asleep. He thought briefly of taking her to the bed but at a second look at it he decided he had better do some repairs before he did. He laid her gently on the floor and pulled his wand out of his robes.
When he was finished he could have sworn he said "Reparo" a thousand times. But at least the room was nearly back to normal. He picked Jezzy up and put her in bed, sitting in the chair next to her and watched her sleep, letting his mind mingle with hers in that vulnerable state. He saw her talking to the Dark Lord, he saw her destroy the room. He felt her anger and her frustration at being cooped up for so long with nothing to do and no one to talk to. He felt for her. He knew what it was like to be locked in a room without contact.
The thing that scared him the most was the distinct impression that her mind was slipping. If the Dark Lord did not give her some privileges she would cease to be Jezzy. If Xanthus didn't find that damned book soon, he wouldn't have a mother to save.
He waited for her to wake, knowing that if her gave her a mental push it would be soon. Five minutes later her eyes fluttered open and she looked directly into his eyes.
"I have to get out of here, Sev." She whispered.
"I don't know what I can do, Jezzy. Xanthus is making progress, but there is still so much for him to sift through before he can find that book. You need to be strong."
She frowned at him. "I don't know how much longer I can do this, Sev. I can feel myself slipping away. He won't even let me get fresh air." Her voice was taking on a hollow quality that scared him.
He shook his head. "Be strong for your children. Be strong for Lucius." He touched a hand to her belly. "Be strong for this one if nothing else."
Her lip trembled. "I'll try. I need to breath."
He nodded and stood. "I will not make promises."
She sat up on the bed and looked around the room. She saw that Severus had repaired nearly everything. She shivered and hugged herself tight.
"Thank you."
Severus nodded again and walked across the room to the door.
"Sev?"
He turned toward her and raised a quizzical brow.
"Tell them I love them and miss them. Please?"
He swallowed, and nodded once. She knew that this was asking a lot of him to relay this message, but was pleased that he had at least agreed, even if it was grudgingly. Once the door was shut she curled up on the bed as best she could with her growing belly and closed her eyes. She hoped he could sway the Dark Lord even a little. She hoped Xanthus would find that book soon.
