(After 'The End in the Beginning')

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Oooooooooooooooo

His first therapy session had gone alright as far as Booth was concerned. He'd talked with the therapist, told her what his goals were and they had worked out a plan to get him where he needed to be. He planned to work on his shooting at the gun range after his first week of therapy just to get used to shooting again. He didn't know if he'd ever be able to get back to the point where he was the best marksman at the FBI, but at this point he wanted to be practical. He needed to recertify and he'd take an average score for his final test if he had to. He could always work on proficiency after he returned to investigative work. He wanted to go back out in the field with Brennan and he needed to be able to protect her and himself when he did.

While he waited for Brennan to return from the Lab, Booth decided to do some laundry. He knew that they were falling behind and if he didn't do the wash soon, he'd be going commando. Folding the first load of clean clothes, Booth heard Brennan call out his name looking for him. Placing the clean clothes in the basket, he left the room and found his partner in the living room. "Hey."

Hesitating, Brennan placed her purse down on the coffee table and faced her lover. "How was therapy?"

"Not bad." Booth moved further into the room and stood near the couch. "She thinks she can help me . . . Bones, I think we need to talk."

The solemnness of his voice made Brennan wonder what Booth wanted to talk to her about. Was he going to break up with her? She didn't know, but not knowing wasn't helping the situation. It was probably best to just get this over with. "Alright, perhaps we should talk."

Suddenly nervous, Booth wondered if this conversation would lead the end of their relationship. "Look, I know that I've been a little different since my operation . . . I haven't been acting like the Booth you know, but Bones, I'm . . . I'm as much of me as I can be. I guess I've forgotten some things like the socks in my dresser." He lifted up his pants legs and showed her his stripped socks. "Fairburn made a remark about my clothes . . . I guess I like crazy socks and colorful ties. I don't remember liking that stuff, but when I came back from the Hoover I put on some striped socks and it didn't feel strange . . . it kind of felt right." He tried to read her expression, but Brennan had the best poker face when she needed it. "I found your list. I wasn't snooping, I was just looking for batteries and I found your list in your nightstand . . . I'm sorry that I've been worrying you, Bones. I didn't know about the changes . . . I didn't know it was worrying you. I wish you'd talked to me about it."

Not sure if she should be angry about him finding the list or not, she decided that perhaps it had been a good thing that he had. "I have been cataloging the changes I've noticed in you because they are noteworthy. You seem more subdued, you don't talk to me as much as you used to before your surgery and when we start to bicker you stop communicating. I have to ask you a question . . . I fear what your answer will be, but I think it would be best for both of us, if you would give me an answer. An honest answer . . . Do you love me? Have your forgotten about that too? Do you wish to end our relationship?"

Appalled, Booth stepped closer, but not close enough to invade her space. "What? No, no Bones. I love you. I haven't forgot what you mean to me. I don't want to break up with you . . . Um, I know that the changes are worrying you . . . They have to be since you made a list . . . Since I've changed, since I'm not the Booth I used to be do you . . . " He paused and cleared his throat. "Do you want to break up with me? I mean, I can understand, since I'm not me anymore . . ."

She stepped closer and moved her arms around his chest. "Booth, I do love you." She felt his arms move around her and felt him kiss her cheek. "I have been worried about the changes and I've been keeping track of them so that I can report them to your surgeon the next time you have an appointment. I know you weren't aware of the changes and I'd decided that I would go with you to your next appointment . . . Booth you're wrong when you say you're not you. That doesn't actually make sense. Of course you're still Seeley Booth. Clothes doesn't define who you are. Neither does how you hold a phone or walk up some steps. There is so much more to you than that."

He held her against his body and thanked God that he hadn't lost his partner after all. "I haven't been talking to you or anyone else, Bones. At least not very much. The surgery left me with holes in my memory. I don't know what I don't know and it's frustrating as hell. Pops will say something and I'll think what the hell is he talking about? You've done it a couple of times since I came home. To be honest, it's kind of scary. You have memories about me that I don't have. I don't know if I'll ever get those memories back, but I think the answer is probably not. I can't count on it anyway . . . I just don't know what to say when you bring up something I can't remember. I don't know how to react."

Pulling away from his embrace, Brennan looked into his worried face and knew that he needed assurances, he needed a way to get around his problem. "You can tell me that you don't remember what I'm talking about. You can ask me to explain or you can just talk about something else. Not every memory we have is that important Booth. There are somethings that I wouldn't mind forgetting. I'm sure that applies to you too . . . It isn't terrible that you've forgotten a few things. It really isn't. You've told me more than once that you don't believe in living in the past. You want to live in the here and now and that's fine. All I ask is that you don't stop talking to me . . . And if you wish to argue about something that's fine too. You're allowed to disagree with me, Booth and I'm allowed to disagree with you. It's part of our friendship. We're honest with each other. We try to be truthful towards each other. Sometimes that leads to arguments . . . to bickering, but we usually work it out sooner or later."

Aware that his memory problem was going to make his relationship with Brennan more complicated, Booth was grateful that Brennan understood and was prepared to deal with it. "Thanks, Bones. I mean that. I'm hoping that the holes in my memory aren't too bad. But I guess we can deal with them as they come up . . . Pops and I looked at my photo album for a little while after I came back from the Hoover. The good news is, I haven't forgotten anyone at least not anyone that I have pictures of . . . the things I've forgotten seem to be random, so I'm sure I might not remember everyone that I've ever met, but to tell you the truth, I didn't before I had the surgery. I don't have a photographic memory like you do. I make an effort to know the people I work with. Some people are memorable and some people aren't . . . You know I'll never forget you, Bones. You're the most fascinating person I've ever met. You make my life interesting."

Her cheeks warm, Brennan leaned forward and kissed her mate. "You make my life interesting too, Booth and you make me happy."

"You make me happy too, Bones. I want to live with you forever."

"Well, I think forever is too much to count on, but I will settle for forty or fifty years, Booth."

Ooooooooooooooo

That evening, Hank waited until dinner was over and they were in the living room watching television. "I'm going to go back home. I think you're doing pretty well, Shrimp and I think I'm just in the way now."

"Never Pops, you're never in the way." Booth knew that his grandfather missed his friends and his routines, so he understood why the old man was ready to leave. "But thank you for coming and staying with us. I really enjoyed your company . . . You know you can come back anytime. Anytime you're bored or just want to get away. We have a bedroom ready for you."

"Are you still going to buy a house together?" Hank was curious if that plan had changed since his grandson's surgery."

Brennan broke into the conversation. "Yes, I have seen a few houses that I think might be what we're looking for. I've just been waiting for Booth to recover before we continued house hunting."

Surprised at the turn in the conversation, Booth turned to face his girlfriend. "We're looking for a house? Really?"

"I see you have forgotten." Brennan smiled and placed her hand on his knee. "You were the one that argued that we need a place that we can call ours. It is inconvenient to live in your apartment for a week or two and then in my apartment. It's logical that we find a house and combine our households."

He didn't remember that they were looking for a house, but it was exciting news. "Wow, this is great. This is really great news."

"I'm glad you think so." Brennan turned her attention towards Hank. "We will be looking for a three or four bedroom house, so that you will have a bedroom to use whenever you wish to visit."

Hank loved Brennan like a granddaughter and her kindnesses made him feel wanted. "Thank you, Temperance."

"You're welcome."

Ooooooooooooooooooooo

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