A jolt of panicked fear runs through me as I shake the chunk of cliff free, clinging on tightly with my other hand as it falls away behind me, hurtling down into the water below. I let out a long, shallow breath, realising the rock is less stable up here and promising myself to carry on cautiously, but my heart takes a dive again as I feel the rock under my right foot start to slip. I immediately move it, feeling for another hold as I reach out with my hand, but in both cases I am met with crumbling earth. My heart literally stops as I realise I am at the top of a rock fall.
Feeling the blood rush from my face, I abandon all thought of proceeding carefully and begin to scramble, panicked, up the face of the cliff. My feet struggle for footing below me as I reach out haphazardly, intermittently hitting solid rock and thin air. I can focus on nothing but the walls ahead of me as I cling desperately to the crumbling rock, rejoicing in every solid handhold and swallowing a scream at every part of the cliff that comes away in my fingertips. I slip down slightly, my feet flailing as my hands catch onto a patch of rock, and I breath heavily as I stare up at the last 10 feet, suddenly an endless distance.
I curse the Gamemakers in my head for their timing, and that makes me think of the audience watching me back in to Capitol. Are they gasping, willing me to live? Or are they cheering, welcoming my death? Do they want me to lose my footing and plummet or reach the summit and survive? Do they want me dead or alive? What would be more appealing to them? I have no idea, and I doubt they even know; whatever happens they get a good show, an explosive finish to my time in the games.
My chest tightens at the idea that this could be it, and as the stone beneath my palm begins to crumble I force myself forward with a surge of panic, reaching desperately just that little bit higher. My feet have long since given up trying to find stability, and instead I am relying utterly on my gloves, my pained, screaming arms, to pull me the last few feet. I'm barely inches away from the top, my fingertips stretching for my salvation, when the entire chunk of rock under my chest suddenly slides away. I choke back a scream, whiteness flashing in front of my eyes as I flail desperately, when suddenly, without reason, I am gripping onto something. Something soft, warm, but strong. I stare up into the frantic eyes of Caleb, and suddenly I feel my strength come back to me.
Ignoring the agonized screams of my arms I clutch tightly to his hands, holding on as I scramble with my feet, anchoring myself on him as he pulls me to safety and I manage to crawl over the summit. We stagger backwards away from the edge, and then I half run, half stumble forwards until the ground stops trembling beneath me. Only then do I allow myself to collapse onto my knees, hands shaking as I brace them against the ground. I run my fingers through the dirt, relishing the feel of hard earth underneath me as my panicking heart rate slows, reassured that the danger has passed.
"Jesus, Tyla, what the hell was that?!"
Caleb gasps out the words as he collapses beside me, doubled over on his knees, breathing hard. I glance across at him, taking in his red, sweating face, his struggling lungs fighting for breath, and it's only then I truly compute that he's here.
"Caleb?" My voice comes out in a gasp too as I collapse backwards, staring at him. "How did you get up here?"
He coughs slightly, struggling to get the words out. "I ran."
I stare at him in amazement, watching his body recover from the physical onslaught. "You ran?"
He nods slowly, wheezing as he falls backwards into a sitting position.
"I lost sight of you for the longest time, then suddenly I spotted you, halfway up the cliff. The cliff, Tyla?!" He gasps this out in exasperated disbelief, shaking his head as he continues.
"As soon as I saw that I ditched the bow and ran up here. I didn't know what I was doing, if I would even accomplish anything, but jeez, that climb looked steep. I just had to get up here, in case you needed me."
I shake my head in amazement, staring at him. Even from halfway up, that's about a 30 minute uphill trek, and from what he's saying he managed to run it in less than 10 minutes. No wonder he looks like he's about to pass out.
"I can't believe you did that!" I say, and he coughs, wiping the back of his hand across his mouth as he glares at me.
"Bloody good thing I did, you were about to fall! What the hell were you thinking? How did you even manage it?"
I'm gazing at him in mystification, amazed he was able to run this height and distance so fast, until his question snaps me back onto the present and I glance down at my hands, holding them out in front of me.
"These gloves. I couldn't believe it when I got them; they're a sponsor gift. They..."
I trail off from my description as the details of my rescue come back to me, and I immediately look down at Caleb's hands. My eyes practically burst out of my head at the sight of them and I gasp.
"Oh my god Caleb! Your hands!"
I clutch them instinctively and he winces. "Yea. Not great huh?"
It's an understatement. It looks like most of his flesh has gone, replaced by torn, shredded ribbons of red. I quickly remove the gloves, tossing them aside as I lightly cup his hands, bringing them towards me. I wince at the sight of them, gently touching the mangled skin, and then snap my hand away quickly as he sucks in air through his teeth at the sting from my touch.
"Climbing gloves huh. That makes sense."
I stare down at his ruined palms, my mouth suddenly dry. "I can't believe I didn't realise. Why didn't you let go?"
He stares at me like I'm stupid. "If I had let go you would have fallen off a mountain. It's just my hands, Ty, they'll heal up."
I swallow the lump that's formed in my throat. "Didn't it….." I trail off from my stupid question as he laughs.
"Hurt? Yea, it really did. I couldn't figure out what was going on!"
He laughs again but I don't join in, guilt clouding up my mind as I stare at the injuries I caused.
"Caleb, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say. I feel so stupid."
"Ty, forget it. Honestly. You made it, we're alive. And it looks like we're equipped enough to last until the end of time."
He nods his head at the bags on my back and I immediately pull them off, dropping them to the ground in front of me.
"I got a medical kit. I can fix you."
Fix may be an overstatement; the best I can do is patch up the mess I made, but I'm desperate to do something.
"Brilliant. What else?" asks Caleb, and I quickly run him through my bounty as he grins appreciatively. "I gotta say Ty, I thought this was utter madness, this plan of yours. But you pulled it off."
He sounds impressed, but I can't help but grimace. "Not without a few hitches," I say, nodding pointedly at his hands as I open the medical kit in front of me. It's pretty sparse, with just the basics, but I find a few bandages, some antiseptic wash, wipes and some sort of cream.
"Not much, but this will have to do," I say regretfully, trying to figure out exactly what the cream does and hoping it works miracles.
"Not necessarily," says Caleb suddenly. I look up in confusion and he nods behind me, just as I hear the unmistakable blinking sound of a sponsor gift.
"Another one?" I say, astonishment evident in my voice as I crawl across to pick it up from where it has settled on the rocks.
"I was shocked enough to get the first one, now we have two?"
"You were shocked? Was that your first one?" Caleb asks in surprise, and I turn back to him.
"Yes! Have you had any?"
"I've had a couple. Nothing like those though."
He's nodding at my gloves, his tone telling me he's trying to make me feel better about them being my only gift, but I don't feel slighted. I was doing fine without sponsor gifts, and it's not like I actually expected anything; when I did receive the gloves, I was ecstatic. As for Caleb, I'm not surprised he's had gifts before, that he's popular. Of course he is; I remember comparing him to Benton and Finnick back in the Capitol, thinking that he would win over the audience like they did, and he's obviously done just that. No surprises there; he's much more charming than I could ever hope to be. The Capitol must adore him. But then…
I glance down at the gloves again. They're clearly expensive. Which means…it could maybe mean that I'm popular too. The thought sends a strange rush through me; as much as I hate the Capitol, the audience, I can't help but being glad that they like me. The idea that somebody out there likes me enough to send me these gloves, to try and save me, it's a thought I'm relishing.
"Ty?"
I start slightly, glancing over at Caleb who is holding back an amused smile.
"I hate to rush you, but…" He nods at the canister and I quickly snap back to the present.
"Right, sorry."
I unclick the clasp and swing it open to reveal a small silver jar of cream, and the neatly printed directions on the side command me to 'apply sparingly every few hours as needed.' No surprises, it's for Caleb, but I'm so overjoyed at having something to fix his hands that I'm almost more grateful for this than my gloves.
"It's for you." I say, scooting back over and tugging off the lid.
"I would be pretty gutted if it wasn't, to be honest."
Caleb grins, holding up his hands indignantly, and I can't help but laugh. It's the first time the knot of anxiety in my chest has loosened since I made it up the cliff, and it makes me assess our entire situation. We've managed to arm ourselves and disarm the careers in one move; it feels like we might have levelled the playing field, made ourselves equal to the careers, and the sponsor gifts prove this. This late in the game, gifts don't come cheap, and I'm lifted by the realisation that we must appear to stand a fighting chance. People must think we have potential, that we can win. That one of us can win.
I shake my head quickly, pushing this thought aside, and carefully begin to fix up Caleb's hands. I use the antiseptic wipes first, clearing away the blood to make them look less massacred. Caleb keeps sucking air through his teeth as the wipes sting his sore skin, and every time he does it I apologise until he begins to laugh.
"Ty, you don't have to keep apologising you know."
"I know, but…"
I trail off, the knot of guilt twisting in my stomach again as I think back to my actions, and then I let out a sigh.
"I'm just...I'm sorry. I'm sorry I climbed the cliff when it wasn't the plan, sorry I made you run like that. You would be fine if I hadn't. I didn't think it through, I just saw the gloves and...I didn't want to swim again."
I trail off and Caleb smiles softly, nudging me with his knee.
"I know. I understand, trust me. I understood before as well, I didn't mean to go nuts at you I was just...scared. And in pain."
He adds this jokingly, wiggling his fingers, and I smile reluctantly as he continues.
"I get it, Ty, I really do. You saw the chance to climb out instead of swimming and you did it, of course you did. I'm amazed you were able to swim there in the first place."
Despite the fact that I'm still contrite, still trying to make up for my guilt, I can't stop a ripple of indignation from running through me.
"Why, you didn't think I could?" I ask, and Caleb nods.
"Physically sure, but I was amazed you could bring yourself to go, given how scared you are of water."
My head snaps up, alert, and I study Caleb with narrow eyes.
"So you were watching me then. That day, in the training room, when I was in the pool?"
"Training room?" He looks confused, shaking his head. "No…what did you do in the pool?"
Embarrassment that he saw me fail so dismally in the tiny body of water back in the Capitol is overtaken by annoyance that he's denying it.
"You know, you must do. How else could you..."
"I didn't see anything, honestly."
He cuts me off before I gain momentum.
"I won't deny I was watching you, but I didn't see that. I know you're scared of water, Ty, because you told me so last night."
I gape at him for a moment before coming to my senses and snapping my mouth shut. "I did?" I say in a small voice, slumping back on my heels, amazed I could have no recollection of it and at the same time horrified by the implication that I may have told him more than I realised. He nods, tilting his head a little.
"You don't remember?" he asks, and I shake my head slowly.
"No. I guess I was on a roll."
I laugh awkwardly, trying to lighten the situation, but Caleb simply gazes at me curiously. I flush, realising how odd this must sound- to be so caught up in revealing my innermost thoughts that I lose track of what I am saying- and I quickly duck my head back down to Caleb's hands, busying myself with fixing them up. Now that the blood is cleared away I can see what a mess my gloves made, tearing neatly through his flesh, and I hope that the Capitol medicine is as good as I imagine it must be. I scoop a small amount out and smear the glistening blue cream onto his palm, ignoring his pained noises as I rub it into the rips in his hands, trusting that it will do them good.
"How does that feel?" I ask after a while.
"Better. good." He replies softly, and I nod. "Good."
I lapse into silence again, continuing to rub the cream into his wounds, almost transfixed by watching it absorb into his skin; imagining I can see it healing itself, making everything OK again. After a few minutes I feel a prickling sensation start to creep down my spine as I suddenly become aware of the intimacy of the situation; the silence, how close we are, me slowly caressing his hands. I glance up at him to see if he's noticed, and a dart leaps through my chest as I realise he isn't looking at his hands, but instead right at me.
My mouth goes dry suddenly, my hands freezing on his, and for a moment all I can do is stare into his eyes, my heart racing as he stares back at me. After a moment I feel his hands curl around mine, holding them, and as a spark of electricity shoots through me I snap out of my trance, twisting my hands from his as I reach for the bandages.
"We should get moving anyway. The careers will be spitting blood when they realise I was there."
I keep my face down as I quickly wind the bandages over his hands, terrified that my reaction to him will be obvious on my face. We've been having moments like these more and more, I've noticed, ones I can't explain; ones I'm not ready for. I've never reacted like this to anyone, and I have absolutely no idea how to handle it. All I can do is deny it, pretend it's not happening, and as Caleb clears his throat my breath catches as I wait and see if he'll do the same.
"How will the careers know? They won't notice, surely?"
I relax at his innocuous reply, and then immediately realise that he's still clueless about what I did to the supplies on the raft; that I didn't fill him in on that particular change of plans.
"I might have left a slight clue that I was there."
I can't help a broad grin spilling over my face at the memory. Caleb eyes me curiously, a look that shifts to disbelief, amazement and then elation as I tell my story.
"So they have nothing? Nothing left?" he blurts as I finish, and I shake my head, smirking.
"Nothing but what they're keeping in their camp, and from what I saw before they keep that pretty sparse. I reckon we're better equipped than them now."
This thought has only just occurred to me, and as it does a wide smile breaks across my face; one that is mirrored by Caleb.
"Unbelievable. Let's see how long they last without that stuff, huh? Let's see how good their survival skills really are, without their precious supplies to keep them going!"
He hoots with laughter and I can't help but join in, his enthusiasm infecting me and breaking any remaining tension from our moment before. We continue to laugh about the state of the careers as I finish binding up his hands, and then he jumps to his feet, his vigour restored as he reaches down to me to pull me up. As my hand closes around his bandaged one I feel another slight stab of guilt, but this time it's buried deep inside me, covered by layer after layer of happiness from our successful stealing attempt, our crippling attack on the careers, and the infectious enthusiasm of Caleb as he beams at me, slinging one of the packs onto his back.
"Come on then Ty, let's go."
"Where? To do what?" I ask, smiling at his cheerful tone, and he shrugs, flinging his arms out.
"Anywhere. Anything. Thanks to you we're back in the game, and I say it's about time we started playing it!"
