Sherlock retrieved his suit jacket, put it on and buttoned it. Then he followed Molly downstairs to the sitting room.
Despite his muttering about the unlocked door, he was glad Mrs. Hudson had interrupted his kissing session with his fiancée. He knew he had been dangerously close to losing control. The feelings had overwhelmed him, the terror he had felt at almost losing her, not once, but twice, and then the devotion he felt for her, knowing she was in his arms. His desire had been overwhelming. If they had continued much longer, the only thing that would have stopped him from making love to her then and there would have been if Molly had been strong enough to say no. Even now he had to clench his hands together and force his mind palace to regain control.
Breathe, Sherlock, he told himself silently. You are in control, you can do this.
Forcing a light tone to his voice, the detective said, "Why don't we work on our wedding list, get it up-to-date? Do you know where it is?"
Molly seemed a little flustered at his quick recovery from their passionate encounter (little did she know how difficult it was for him to act natural), but she responded in as casual a tone, "Yes, it's in my bedside drawer. I'll go fetch it."
While the pathologist was gone, Sherlock picked up his phone from the coffee table, then sat on the sofa. He checked to see the text that had alerted Mrs. Hudson to his phone's presence in her flat. It was just from Mycroft.
"Brother mine, did you remember to deposit that cheque?"
He shot off a rather irritated response. "Surely your ever present camera surveillance could have told you I did that this morning with Molly?"
Molly walked back into the sitting room with her list and a pencil as Sherlock heard his text alert ping again. Mycroft's response surprised him.
"Your camera surveillance has been deactivated. I thought you and your fiancée deserved some privacy. Besides, you are her problem now."
Sherlock couldn't help laughing as he showed Molly the text. "It seems my brother has released me into your tender care. Do you think you are up to the challenge?"
"I'll do my best," she promised with a grin. Seating herself on the sofa next to the detective, she showed him the list. "I've put a line through what we've done this week - invitations, flowers and cake. That leaves photographer/videographer and guest list."
"I'd say we are doing pretty well then. I believe our wedding rings are supposed to be ready tomorrow as well. I'll call the jeweller then and we can pick them up if they are ready." At Molly's nod of agreement, he continued. "Do you know where the wedding planner is?"
"I put it on the shelf under the coffee table, right here." She pulled it out and set it on top of the table.
Sherlock leaned forward and went through the pages until he found the one with photographers and videographers. "I think we won't use the one John and Mary used for two reasons. Firstly, they do not offer a video service. Secondly, they employ potential killers."
"What?" gasped Molly.
"Do you recall how erratically I was behaving at the wedding?"
"Well, yes. You were still adorably awkward though."
"Do you remember me talking about a crisis that arose, but was averted?"
"Of course."
"To cut a long story short, the photographer was there to ensure the death of John's former, I mean ex-commanding officer. I won't bore you with the convoluted details."
"Okay then," Molly accepted his statement and moved on with, "so should we look at this one?" She pointed to a business that offered both photography and videography. "They have a website we can look at."
Sherlock retrieved his laptop from the edge of the coffee table and turned it on.
Together, the couple looked at the website for the business and found some favourable reviews as well.
"This looks promising," said the sleuth. "Do we want to check out any other places?"
"According to the planner Mary made, the prices she wrote seem comparable to other businesses. I'd say we just go with this one if they have people available for our wedding day. If not, we try a different one."
"Sounds good to me,"concurred Sherlock. "It's getting a bit late to make phone calls now, so I'll call them in the morning as well as the jeweller." He paused for a moment. "There is one other thing I am not certain about. Do we need to register our impending nuptials?"
Molly laughed at his quaint terminology. "Oh, we should look that up online."
The couple found the website about registering for marriage and discovered they needed to give at least twenty eight days notice. They would have to make an appointment and provide certain documentation. The closest office was the Westminster Register Office.
"Proof of address. It looks like the landlord/landlady can write a letter confirming where you live. We'll have to do that, seeing as I have no proof of living at Baker Street. Everything I have is under my old address. So we'll have to ask Mrs. Hudson for that tomorrow," commented Molly.
She continued, "Do you know where your birth certificate is? I put the folder with my important documents into the wardrobe in your, I mean our bedroom, after we moved my stuff here. It's on top of another box you have in there."
"That box happens to contain all my documentation, including my birth certificate also. There is plenty of room in there if you want to add all your papers."
"Okay. At least we know where they are when needed. Maybe we can set up an appointment tomorrow. Yet another thing to get done. If we are able to make an appointment at such short notice, I can let Pastor Briggs know it is done when we are at church on Sunday. Do you want to go with me?"
Sherlock looked at her in surprise. "Why Wouldn't I want to go to church with you? As far as I am concerned, when you go, I go. If you are working, I may not, just because I'd feel awkward with so many strange people."
"I'm glad. This is still so new for you, and I didn't want to just take things for granted."
"You aren't. I am looking forward to developing my newfound faith. It's one thing to read the Bible myself , quite another to gain insight from people who have more knowledge and discernment than I do."
"Have I told you lately how much I love you, Sherlock Holmes?"
Sherlock smiled at his fiancée. "I'd rather you show me." The instant the words left his mouth, he wished he could take them back. All he was doing was torturing himself.
When Molly leaned towards him to kiss him, he gently put a finger to her lips and said, "Let's take care of writing down some names for the guest list for now." He could see the hurt and confusion in his fiancée's eyes at his turn around in behaviour and could have kicked himself. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her in any way.
"Sherlock?" She started to question hesitantly.
"Look, let's do our lists, and then we need to talk."
"Tell me what's wrong," said his fiancée in the same exact way she had said it on that fateful day in the lab, when he had needed her help.
"Nothing's wrong," he tried to reassure her, but he could see by the start of tears shimmering on her lashes that she was afraid something was very wrong. He squeezed her hand. "I love you. Let's do this wedding stuff and then I promise I'll tell you what I need to say."
"Okay," she gave him a tremulous smile, then tore off a sheet of paper from her pad for him.
Sherlock stood up and went to a drawer in the kitchen which held miscellaneous small objects, including pencils. He got one out and started to make up his pitifully small guest list, leaning the paper on the closed lid of his laptop.
The list consisted of his parents, John, Mycroft, Mrs. Hudson, Lestrade, Stamford and Anderson. Wow, eight people. He realized what an isolationist he had been, how unwilling to get to know anyone well enough to invite them to his wedding. He leaned back on the sofa and waited for Molly to complete her list.
Molly's list, when it was finished, was also not a long one. She had written five names that coincided with Sherlock's list - John, Mycroft, Lestrade, Mike Stamford and Mrs. Hudson. Then she had added her mother, Kaitlyn (+ David), Kayla, Pastor and Mrs. Briggs, Nancy and Bill Schmidt. There were a few other names, probably church people. He saw Caleb and Abigail listed, who had been singing at church on Sunday, and some names he vaguely recognized as being hospital colleagues of Molly's. The name Meena rang a bell too. He was pretty sure she no longer worked at Bart's, though.
"We need to tell Mycroft he can bring a guest, in case he wants to invite Lady Smallwood," said Molly. "I've accounted for everyone who has a spouse or significant other and we are still below fifty people, including ourselves."
"So our forty invitations will definitely be enough then?"
"Yep," responded the pathologist, copying the way he popped the "p" at the end. She was so adorable, he wanted to just take her in his arms right then and there. He restrained himself however, bracing himself for the talk they needed to have.
Molly put both lists together on the coffee table, and took the lap top off Sherlock's lap. "So, are you ready to talk?" she questioned.
"Let's have some dinner first," he hedged.
"I'm not hungry," she asserted. "Please, just tell me what is going on. My stomach is in knots over this, Sherlock."
Defeated, the detective turned and took her hands in his. "Very well."
"Is this all moving too fast for you? Are you having second thoughts about us getting married? Are you getting overwhelmed with all the wedding decisions we are making?"
"No dammit," he ground out. "Things aren't moving fast enough!"
He saw the look of surprise on his fiancée's face and continued. "Look, earlier, when Mrs. Hudson interrupted us, I was glad she did so."
"Why?" asked the pathologist in a small voice.
"Because I love you too much. Because I was about to lose control. I, who have prided myself on my ability to put intellect above any type of sentiment, was losing my grip on it. Any time I have felt emotional, I have always been able to retreat into my mind palace to reassert control. Well, except for when I smashed the coffin Eurus had put in that room that I had deduced was meant for you."
He took a breath, and continued. "You are my weakness. My mind palace doesn't work with you. God, Molly, I don't think you have any concept of what you do to me. I'm trying so hard to be strong, to be respectful of your wishes, but my body betrays me at every turn."
He saw the dawning light of comprehension in his fiancée's eyes. She seemed as though she was about to speak, but he stopped her with a "Let me finish."
Her mouth snapped closed and Sherlock went on with his monologue. "Every time I look at you, I think of what it will be like to truly be with you, in every sense of the word. I don't know if I'm feeling it so strongly because of the years I repressed my emotions, and I hate not knowing. Maybe I'll gain some perspective next week, when we are apart for a day or two, maybe not. All I know for sure right now is that my heart hurts. It hurts because I want to love you and be loved by you, to make love with you. You need to be the strong one, Molly Hooper, to say no when I overstep. You have to tell me when I cross the line, because I am not able to see it anymore, do you understand?" He looked at her pleadingly, relieved to have finally confessed the depth of his emotions to her.
"Sherlock," she said gently. "Do you think, would it be better if I slept in the other bedroom?"
"No. I want you, need you near me. But I need you to be the one in control, to yank me back to reality if I go too far. Can you do that for me?"
"I think I can," responded his fiancée. "I've always thought it would be no big deal to wait until my wedding night, to be with my husband. I certainly had no problem with it, when I was engaged to Tom, despite his attempts to change my mind, but with you, it's different. Maybe it is because I've loved you for so long, that it's so much harder to remember my values. I think the best thing to do here is get more information. Research the whys of abstinence before marriage, and gain perspective. If you are willing, maybe we can research it together."
Sherlock was floored by Molly's words. She had a deeper understanding of things than he had expected. "I really like that idea. Maybe it is because this is all so new to me, and I don't really understand the Bible's teachings on it. Thank you." He kissed Molly on the cheek.
"I don't think we need to put our emotions that much on hold," she laughed, putting her hands on his face and kissing him lightly on the lips. "I must confess, that now I am hungry after all. Do we have anything to eat around here?"
"Ginger nuts," suggested the sleuth helpfully.
"Real food," said Molly. "I'm going to look in the fridge."
In the end, Molly found enough ingredients (mainly ones that had been transferred from her own fridge) to make omelettes for Sherlock and herself. "I hope you don't mind eating breakfast food for dinner, we really need to add food shopping to our expedition tomorrow."
The detective agreed with her statement. Then he helped himself to a couple ginger nuts for dessert.
"So, Sherlock," asked the pathologist, "are we gonna do this?"
"Do what?" mumbled the detective through a mouthful of biscuit.
"See what the web, and the Bible have to say about abstinence before marriage?"
"Yes," he responded. "I'd really like some perspective and maybe some help." He got his laptop and put it on the kitchen table so he and Molly could both read anything they found.
Molly did a search about abstinence during engagement for Christian couples. There were plenty of different articles, and they read them together.
There was a lot to be said for waiting, reflected Sherlock, besides avoiding any possible pitfalls like unplanned pregnancy. Obviously STD's weren't an issue in their case. Reading the various articles, as well as referencing Biblical passages that supported the idea of waiting until marriage finally convinced the detective.
He sighed. "Forget everything I said earlier. I've been a fool. I won't say it is going to be easy, but I will say it is up to me as well as you to stick to our principles. We need a plan of action."
"I'll grab my notepad and we can write down some guidelines," said his fiancée.
She brought in pad and pencil and they set to work.
"According to one source, we need to keep away from the bedroom as much as possible," the detective stated.
"I can sleep upstairs, like I said before," offered Molly.
"No. I think our main issue is too much passionate kissing in bed. Solution, chaste kisses only in bed. Agreed?"
"Agreed." Molly wrote on her notepad. "How about we spend more time in public places, or visiting friends?" she suggested.
"That would certainly reduce temptation if we are not alone," Sherlock said as Molly added that to the paper.
"I guess no more practicing unfastening my bra."
"Definitely not, but you might not want to write that one down," grinned the detective. He was glad they were working on a plan of action. Maybe this could work after all. "Should I go back to wearing pyjamas?" he asked.
"Hmmm," Molly pondered the question. She finally made a decision. "No. If we stick to the chaste kissing, we should be fine. If we start breaking the rules, we'll revisit that."
"Sounds fair. I suppose kissing you in places other than your face needs to be nixed as well."
"Unfortunately yes. We've already seen how easy it is to start making little compromises," asserted the pathologist. She wrote again on the pad. "Sitting on your lap and kissing you is also going to have to be a no."
Sherlock pouted. "Are you sure?"
Molly looked at him sternly. "What always ends up happening when I am on your lap?"
"Too much lovely kissing, followed by me taking a cold shower," he said with a wry smile.
"Exactly."
"Why do I have the feeling this next eight weeks is going to drag on forever?"
"We just need to fill it with fun stuff. Go back to the light romantic dating type of things. Maybe catch a movie."
"Oh, I like the sound of that. A little back row kissing."
Sherlock Holmes, you are not taking this seriously!" the pathologist exclaimed a little indignantly.
"Sorry, love. Just trying to keep it light and fun. So no back row for us, but maybe a mid-section little kiss?"
"I can agree to that," she laughed. "When we are home, let's keep the door unlocked after all. Next time a show is on television to watch, it might be a good idea to actually watch it, rather than get carried away." She wrote again on her paper.
Sherlock nodded. "It's like we are writing our own pre-nuptial agreement."
"It is, rather," agreed his fiancée. "Another thing, no drinking cocktails for me. I don't think I need to tell you that because you are not one to drink anyway."
"True. Oh, do we need to adopt using a timer for kissing sessions?"
"Really?" Moly raised her eyebrow. "Let's just keep it at no marathon sessions. I think we have a pretty good amount of guidelines for now, don't you think?"
Sherlock looked at the page, which was almost filled with writing. "Okay, if we run into any 'trouble' we can add more. Where shall we keep this 'abstinence guide,?" he asked.
"Oh, I like that, I'm going to write that at the top." She did so, then said, "I think we should keep it in the bedroom. We don't need Mrs. Hudson seeing it."
"Perfect."
"And now, I am going to take a shower. We have had a very long day." Molly kissed Sherlock lightly and left the sitting room.
Sherlock stared at the list. He had to admit, he felt a lot better. He felt calmer somehow, more resolved. He could get through these next few weeks and then, boy was it going to be a spectacular wedding night!
Author's note: This was a pretty heavy chapter. I felt Sherlock did not really understand the whole 'waiting until marriage' thing, despite his respect for Molly's feelings on the subject, so this was the perfect opportunity to explore what the Bible says about it. And yes, I researched it as well. You can search the web with the words Molly used.
What did you think about the first impassioned speech Sherlock made, followed by the one after they spent time researching abstinence? Do you like their abstinence agreement?
I also researched the registering for marriage. Sorry folks, you can't just go get married. There are procedures to follow.
