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Chapter Fifty-Two
Confessions and Connecting
Esmerelda pulled away, turning red, clearly embarrassed about what she had done, she proceeded to look at the floor and Julie honestly wondered if that was her favourite place considering she was always looking at it.
"What for love? "Julie said, Esmerelda shrugged before she spoke.
"My parents taught me showing emotions is weak, loving someone is weak, my sisters and I would hug each other but other people was another thing all together" Esmerelda replied with a sigh, feeling stupid about the whole thing.
"Your parents are wrong, loving someone is the opposite of weak, in fact it is the strongest bravest thing you could ever do" Julie told the blonde, Esmie turned to look at her not understanding.
"I don't understand" Esmerelda replied, wondering what Julie was going on about.
"Loving someone makes you strong because when they hurt you or worry you it is the worse pain you will ever experience, loving someone is difficult, having to make decisions that will hurt them and seeing them hurt, it is the reason many relationships fall apart, that people fall put of love with each other, because sometimes it is to hard to love someone because it hurts to much" Julie explained to the girl and Esmerelda nodded then, thinking she understood.
"I think I can get that, when Ethel and Sybil get hurt, or scare me, it hurts, I feel like I can't breathe, my throat will tighten and my chest will hurt from the speed my heart is beating, I can't think about anything but saving them or checking on them, and until they are safe in my arms that feeling doesn't go away….is that what you mean?" Esmerelda asked, not sure if she understood properly. Julie nodded.
"I remember when I was told Cackles was freezing up and that Mildred was in trouble, suddenly nothing else in the world mattered but going to that school and making sure she was alright, I would have walked in bare feet if I had too, because all I wanted was Mildred" Julie explained and Esmerelda nodded and smiled, glad the woman wasn't calling her crazy.
"Try having two girls, that is an extra one to scare you to death" Esmerelda replied and Julie laughed, imaging having two to worry over.
"That is what we do, we worry, even if other people think it is stupid" Julie replied glad the girl understood and hoping she would no longer think it was such a bad thing to love someone.
"Thank you, for talking to me like this, it is nice to have someone supporting me, people my age think I am weird, people older don't want to acknowledge me for what I did" Esmerelda replied, thinking Julie was the only one who didn't look at her like dirt.
"I still find it amazing that people are so prejudice because you are looking after Ethel and Sybil, they should be the other way around because what you are doing is amazing" Julie told her and Esmerelda bit her lip, she wondered how much the woman actually knew, but she didn't want to lie to her.
"It is not just that, I…...I went about it the wrong way" Esmerelda explained and Julie looked at her not understanding what she meant.
"What do you mean?" Julie asked, shaking her head confused.
"I kidnapped them….legally….I didn't have custody, my parents did and I just took them and went on the run, I know it was stupid and not right but I didn't know what else to do" Esmerelda replied and she looked at Julie, seeing shock on her face, not anger or horror, just shock, so maybe she had time to explain before the disgust set in.
"My parents were awful and cold no doubt about it, but they had never physically touched Ethel or Sybil, them not paying enough attention to us was not something that would allow me to take my sisters, but the day I took them things took another turn" Esmerelda replied, closing her eyes as the memories rushed back. Julie said nothing, the new information shocking her.
"I know you don't know much about magic, but not all of it is good, there is some spells which are forbidden, they are known as curse spells, some of them are silly, 'I curse you so your hair will turn green' for example, but some of them are much worse, my parents used one of them against Ethel and Sybil, it is the burning curse, it burns their skin" Esmerelda replied feeling herself choking up now as she spoke about it. Julie gasped.
"All because they found Ethel's diary and she had writeen about some things she had done at school, I heard screaming and rushed down the corridor, I walked in and they were both on the floor screaming, even when my parents saw me they didn't stop, so I used a spell to knock them out and ran, I didn't know what else to do, I don't know if they would of stopped" Esmerelda replied as she started to cry.
Julie felt so awful in that moment, how, how could they do that? She didn't know what Ethel had written but whatever it was did not justify their actions, if Julie read Mildred's diary and there was something she didn't like, she might question her and be angry but she would never do what they did.
Julie didn't want to come over like she was judging her but she still didn't really understand the whole situation, she was just uneducated.
"Could you not have rang someone and told them? I know you probably didn't think of it at the time" Julie explained and Esmerelda shook her head.
"You don't understand, the witches code would of prevented me from doing that, the code says witches are not allowed to get involved with other witches private lives, that is why so many people who beg for help are let down, I knew nothing would be done, only the Great Wizard can do something but I didn't have time for that and it was my word against theirs, children are normally not believed in our world, I had no choice, I was terrified that they would get killed if I didn't leave with them" Esmerelda replied, now sobbing again. Julie sat there in shock, so children would be left in an abusive home because it meant getting involved? That was sick, it was disgusting and Julie had a feeling Esmerelda was not the first or the last who would have to make such a decision to keep someone they love safe.
"Especially because Ethel and Sybil are younger, the eldest is the one the attention is focused on, I knew that all would be done is our parents would be told not to do it again, so I ran, I took them and got a bus, we had a little money and a few clothes but I got on the next bus and left with them as far as possible" Esmerelda replied, controlling her crying long enough to talk.
"How long were you running for?" Julie asked, wondering if they had gotten far or being caught straight away.
"About a month, we didn't do to bad, yes we had to leave everyday for a new place, and yes it is true that we didn't have much money, but I always made sure the girls had food, I would of ran forever properly, but then I ran out of money and Sybil got sick, she had the flu, I couldn't even afford to get her some medicine, and that is when I rang my grandmother begging for help, she was the one who told me to go back" Esmerelda replied honestly.
"How come your grandmother doesn't help you?" Julie asked, having not being aware they had other family.
"She loves in Australia, our grandfather died the year before I started at Cackles and she couldn't cope and moved away for a fresh start, she is the only family member who cares though and she trusts me to look after my sisters, I have this flat thanks to her, she lent me some money" Esmerelda explained and Julie could see that the girl was smiling in a bittersweet way. She clearly missed her.
"And now Ethel and Sybil have burns that nothing, not even magic can heal, I took them to the best doctor but he couldn't do anything for them, luckily for me there was a loophole in the code, saying if the eldest was worried about younger siblings they could take them in extreme circumstances, but I am just grateful I didn't end up in prison for it" Esmerelda went on, explaining to Julie.
"Sometimes we all have to go to extreme lengths to help people we love, you were desperate, I would of done the same thing for Mildred, her safety is the most important thing to me, I understand Esmerelda, you aren't a bad person for it, you had to do it, so that people would listen" Julie replied. She was sad that the poor girl had to go to such desperate measures to do that. People should of listened to her cry for help to begin with not when she was at rock bottom.
"You don't think I am a monster?" Esmerelda asked, she for sure thought the woman would disown her, like everyone else.
"No, you did something wrong but you had no choice, I am glad everything worked out okay in the end" Julie told her with a smile, glad the girl had felt she could tell her. "Well as okay as it can be, obviously Ethel and Sybil got scarred because of it" Julie said. Esmerelda looked down and Julie touched her arm gently.
"If you ever need anything, a babysitter or something I am here" Julie told her and Esmerelda looked at her, her shoulders lowing as if a weight had being taken of her shoulders. Julie suspected the girl had being worried about what would happen to her sisters if she ever needed childcare, Julie suspected she wouldn't leave them with anyone.
"Thank you and if you ever need me to look after Mildred I don't mind, after everything that had happened I expected you to hate me, so thank you for being nice" Esmerelda said. Julie smiled, feeling like they had really connected and maybe now they could start to become friends and help each other.
"I am happy to help Esmerelda" Julie told her with a smile, glad to be taking some of the troubles of the teenagers back.
