Chapter 50
I told Rowan about what I was choosing. He still said it was better he left though. We have our own paths to take. We have to find ourselves before we could get together again. He made sense but it still hurt to hear. I loved him and he left but I moved on. My sisters of course tried to console me but I had enough consoling to last a lifetime.
And much to my dislike I had started going to a support group. It was a one hour session once a week, so I had only gone twice but I still didn't want to go.
"You won't talk to us Paige, maybe talking to others who have a similar situation will make it easier."
"Easier to what? To grieve? Nothing makes it easy Prue. Besides, who in my support group is also a witch? I'm not going."
"You are going. This will help, just give it a chance. Go for four sessions, at least, and then we'll talk about it." Which was how the short conversation went at dinner two weeks ago.
I probably wouldn't go to my fourth session though. By the looks of my orbing, I would most likely be moving to Illinois soon. I could orb from the house to school now. Piper was wary of the practice but Leo and Janice assured her that I was fine.
I had spent a few evenings, when my sisters were out demon fighting, talking to my sisters' Grams. She approved of my progress. She was the one to reassure me that leaving my sisters wouldn't make them hate me. She's okay that I'm not ready to call her Grams yet too. She asks me how my group sessions are and doesn't try to force me to answer. Prue on the other hand asks on the car ride home, at dinner, and at breakfast the following morning.
Slowly another week passed, I fought a demon, he was minor, but still a demon. Prue congratulated me and I shrugged. My orbing had improved to the point where I could tell my sisters that I wanted to live with my aunt and uncle. I had already called them explaining a lot. My aunt said she understood and would love for me to come live with her and uncle Dave in Illinois. Now I just had to tell my sisters.
Janice and Leo were caught up with Elder business so I had to wait. They finally returned though and I made my announcement at dinner.
"How was school today?" Piper asked.
"Fine, um, there's something I want to talk about," I said.
"What is it?" Prue asked.
"I want you to bind my powers."
"What?" Phoebe asked.
"I don't want to be a witch, at least not yet."
"It's not really a choice Paige. You're going to need a way to protect yourself from all the demons that pass through the Manor," Prue said.
"That's why I'm going to move in with my aunt and uncle. I'm not ready to be a witch, or to have a new family. I want to find who I am without all this witch stuff."
"I think you need to think about it some Paige," Prue said.
"I have, for several weeks. I'm not ready for this new life, I thought I was but I'm not." Several minutes passed then Phoebe said something.
"You just want to pack up and leave? Just like that?" she asked, "Paige, we're your family."
"My parents are my family along with my aunt and uncle. I feel like I abandoned them, they may not need me but I need them. My aunt and uncle don't understand magic but I don't either. I want my parents back so bad it hurts. It hurts a lot, every time I breathe, every time I see something that reminds me of them it hurts. My new start isn't here."
"Are you sure this is what you want, Paige?" Piper asked.
"Yes," I said.
"I'm not hungry anymore," Phoebe said and left the table. There was an awkward silence then Prue left the table to go talk to Phoebe.
"That's why you didn't care if I received more charges," Janice said and I nodded.
"Phoebe will come around Paige, don't worry. We've just gotten used to you being here is all," Piper said.
"I can orb though, I can always visit," I said.
3rd POV
"Phoebe, how could you just dart off like that?" Prue asked her younger sister.
"How? How can she just leave? We're trying to help her and she thinks it's best to leave!?"
"Phoebe, her life has changed a lot in the last couple months. I think she just wants some normalcy."
"Am I the only one in this family that wants to be a witch?"
"Pheebs, she's not ready to be one. We weren't at sixteen."
"She doesn't have to move to Illinois though! We can use crystals and spells to protect her. She's our sister Prue, our baby sister, how can we just let her go? How can you just let her go?"
"I don't want her to go, none of us do. She wouldn't be happy here if we made her stay."
"She's doing a lot better though. I think the support group thing is helping. Maybe if we could make her stay just a little bit longer, she would see that living here isn't awful."
"Phoebe, she feels like she's abandoning her family by staying with us."
"She's abandoning us Prue! Don't you see that!" Phoebe started crying, "She's part of this family now and she's abandoning us." Unknown to the arguing sisters Paige was right next door in her room and had heard nearly everything.
Paige's POV
I felt numb inside. Prue kept arguing with Phoebe that it would be good for me, that it's what made me happy. Phoebes words were choked with tears.
"She's part of this family now," Phoebe said now for the third time.
"She doesn't feel that way about us," Prue said, "I wish she did but she doesn't. Let her finish up school in Illinois. If she decides to come to school in San Francisco, she can stay here." As much as I hated to admit it Prue was right. The Halliwell sisters were my family but it didn't feel that way, not yet. Maybe if I did stay they would eventually feel like family but it's too hard right now. I opened my window remembering that not long ago there had been crystals.
"It's going to be okay, Pheebs. We'll see her again," I heard Prue say as I left my room. I walked to my house as the sun set. By the time there was no more light I orbed. Outside the window I saw a For Sale sign on the front lawn.
Someone had cleaned up the house. The furniture wasn't melted anymore. A calendar sat on the kitchen table, it had been a month since I'd been here. I looked at what was written. They were selling the house. I went upstairs to see that the rooms were all bare. My walls were now a cream color, no more posters adorned the walls. I kneeled down and pulled up floorboards. There was a hidden pack of cigarettes, which I ended up flushing down the toilet, and a picture of my family when they first adopted me. My parents weren't the only ones in the picture but my aunt and uncle, and a nun. I heard the front door open and someone step inside.
"We got a call saying they saw lights on in the house," a man said, "Why don't you come on down, and we'll get this all sorted." There was no way I was going downstairs. I heard his footsteps as he came up. I orbed back to the Manor.
I arrived to hear my sisters yelling. Their topic was me. They thought I had sneaked out because I overheard Prue and Phoebe arguing. I left my room and went downstairs. The room became silent when they saw me.
"Where have you been!?" Prue asked.
"I dozed off on the love seat in the attic. Sorry," I said shrugging.
"It doesn't matter anymore," Prue said not realizing I lied. Piper asked if I needed any help packing and I told her no. I didn't tell her that everything was already packed except the photo albums. I returned to my room and put all of the albums on my bed. I picked one off the floor, picture sleeves falling out. I scarcely remember throwing it against the wall all the weeks ago. I carefully put the sleeves back in and started placing them in the third suitcase. I still left some clothes in my dresser in closet for when I came back.
The last thing I had packed was a picture of me, Prue, Piper, and Phoebe sitting on the couch. Prue sat on the end, Phoebe was next to her, and I was in between her and Piper. We were all smiling, we had just come back from shopping, and Phoebe wanted us to all get a picture in our new outfits. The photo was only a week and a half old. I put the picture in between several shirts in a suitcase. There was a knock on my doorframe and I turned around.
"You didn't really go up to the attic did you?" Phoebe asked.
"No," I said, "I went back to my house. I had one more thing to grab." I showed her the picture and told her when it was taken. Her face softened at the info.
"So, you're not leaving because you don't want to be apart of this family?"
"No, I really want to be apart of this family but it's just hard. You're not the family I grew up with, I grew up with everyone in that picture. And the thing is, I'm not done growing up yet. I want to find myself and I can't do it here."
"I guess I understand that," she sighed sitting on my bed and she told me about New York. She told me that after college she left for six months, a didn't really talk to her family.
"I wanted to find out who 'Phoebe' was, and I discovered that I could only do that here. It's only fair to let you find 'Paige'," she said and I smiled. She hugged me.
One Week Later
I had told my aunt and uncle about my orbing power. They knew I could easily travel from place to place. They weren't really sure about it but Leo explained a lot of it to them. It was now Saturday morning, 9:00 AM, and I would be leaving in just a half hour.
Janice and I talked for several hours about my choice. She now had at least half a dozen charges it seemed, so the talk was split up into days. I had also talked to Glen. He wasn't so happy I was leaving.
"I've barely seen you in the last month and a half and now you come to tell me you're moving!"
"We can talk on the phone, Glen, I need to do this. Besides you'll be leaving for Europe in a couple years."
"That's two years without you."
"I'm going to miss you," I had said hugging him.
"Then don't go."
"I have to."
Grams was at the Manor to see me off along with my sisters.
"Thank you so much," I said hugging her. My sisters still had no idea that it was Grams who told me that I didn't have to be a witch.
"It's nothing, darling," she said, "Now you be good. Be respectful of your aunt and uncle."
"Yes Grams," I said and she smiled. Piper hugged me and handed me a box of chocolate chip cookies.
"Don't eat them all at once," she said tears spilling down her cheeks.
"I won't," I replied. Phoebe was the one to hug me goodbye next. She was close to sobbing.
"Are you sure you want to go?"
"I'm sure," I said, "But I'll be back in a couple Sundays for dinner." She tried to smile but only pulled me back into a hug. Prue was the last sister I said goodbye to.
"Remember, if a demon shows up, use those potions," she said. I nodded.
"Don't get into any trouble, no climbing fences or dating mysterious guys, okay?" she said trying not to cry.
"I guess I can try," I said smiling and she playfully slapped me on the shoulder. She then pulled me into her arms.
"Thank you for holding me back and then letting go," I said referring to the car crash and now.
"It's what sisters do," she said and looked to Leo. He grabbed two of my suitcases as I grabbed one and my purse. I waved goodbye to my sisters and Grams one last time before Leo and I orbed out.
A/N: There will be an epilogue, so I will that uploaded in a few days. The epilogue will take about 6 months after this chapter. Please review with your thoughts. Charmed Always- K
