Sorry for the delay, it's been a busy week. I will reply to reviews later, but thank you for taking the time to comment.
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Part 52 - Secrets
Elena opened her eyes and looked around. She was laying on the bed still dressed, with a blanket draped over her. It was dark out and a sliver of light shone beneath the bedroom door. For a moment she lay and listened for any sounds, but heard nothing. She felt groggy, uncertain of why she would have gone to bed in her clothes and left a light on. She rolled to her side and switched on the bedside light; the movement disturbing the baby and she gained a few kicks for her trouble. She ran her hand over her abdomen and smiled, a sense of peace seeming to cloak her for the first time in a long while.
Her stomach rumbling made her look at the clock and she was surprised to find it was after 6. She had very little recollection at that moment of anything that had happened to explain how she found herself. She reached again to the bedside table to take her phone that she always kept there, but found it missing. Another jab inside her landed squarely on her bladder making her get up.
Rehanging the towel after washing her hands she looked around. The top from a can of men's deodorant sat next to the canister, she picked them up and replaced the lid before putting it down again, puzzled why she should find it like that. Re-entering the bedroom she saw the bag on the floor by the door and a man's shirt half hanging out of the laundry basket. The bag was typical navy issue, but wrapped around the handle were several airline tags. She recognised a couple immediately but it took a moment for the others to fall into place.
When a clearer picture emerged she tugged open the door and hurried downstairs, well as much as she could in her condition. Reaching the bottom of the stairs and nearly hyperventilating she stopped to slow her breathing as she heard someone in the kitchen. Crossing the lounge slowly, savouring the moment, she was able to watch him as he moved along the counter sorting through shopping bags with his back to her. He had removed his t-shirt and it was tucked into his running shorts, so she figured, he'd gone for a run somewhere and picked up groceries along the way. She edged closer to him and if he knew she was there he didn't let on. The memories from earlier emerged from the fog and she felt a tingle run down her spine. She now understood the sense of peace that she had when she woke up.
She stepped forward again and closed the distance between them, resting her hand on his back as she peeked around him to see what he had bought. His skin was warm against her hand and she felt his muscles ripple against her fingers.
"Hey," he greeted turning his head towards her while he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "I was wondering if you were going to sleep all night."
"Too hungry," she answered. "Baby wants feeding, and I expect you do too. Why didn't you wake me up?"
"Swain's advice; I was worried when you fell asleep after all the tears." He pulled her in front of him and caressed her cheek, "he said the hormones probably took hold and that sleep would do you good."
"It did. Took me a little while to put things in place when I woke up, but I'm okay now."
"Are you sure about that?" he asked, his eyes firmly on hers as if he didn't believe her.
Elena smiled, seemingly for the first time in ages as she reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck and running her fingers through his hair. "I can't believe you're actually here and in time for Christmas"
Dutchy, ran his hands down her sides then dipped slightly and hoisted her up until she was sitting on the counter, bringing them to eye level, where she lost no time in pulling him closer and seizing his lips. She wasn't disappointed when he met her with equal intensity. She groaned when his lips broke away from hers, but the sense of loss barely lasted a few seconds as he transferred his attention to her neck and shoulder, making her squirm in anticipation as he found the spot that seemed to crave his touch and make her spine tingle.
He cupped her head with one hand to support her while he continued to plant kisses on her, varying from tiny feather like grazes to something more passionate. She felt the shift of her dress as his other hand gradually slid up her thigh causing her to moan and gaining a smile from him against her skin.
"Good to see I can still turn you on," he murmured a few seconds later.
….
He watched as Elena cleared the table after dinner. He wanted to ask her about a lot of things, but in some ways he was afraid of the answers, but there's one thing that he did need an answer to, just to confirm his suspicions. The problem he had was he didn't know how to ask it. He got up from the table and followed her into the kitchen.
"Come and sit down, honey we can do that later, let's talk about what we can do for Christmas," he stopped her from clearing up as he gently tugged her back until her back rested against his chest and he could wrap his hands around her bump, of course that also meant that her neck was once again fair game for his lips and he smiled when he felt the tiny tremors run through her as he grazed soft kisses across her skin.
"Dylan, stop, we should clear up, the fish will smell all over the house if we leave it," she chided pulling away.
"Alright, here's the deal, I clear up and you go sit down," he tried to take the dishcloth from her hand but she tightened her grip on it.
"No, you're not doing this to me. I'm not an invalid; I can wash a few dishes."
He knew from her tone that she was prepared to argue the point with him and he felt really uncertain about how to deal with her stubbornness. He let go of the cloth and rested his hands on her shoulders.
"Fine, I won't argue, what can I do to help?"
She grabbed a tea towel and pushed it towards him, "you can dry."
For several minutes silence hung between them, finally he couldn't take it anymore and as she placed the last item in the drainer he paused what he was doing and looked at her as she concentrated on drying her hands.
"I've been thinking," he opened casually finishing his own task and hanging up the soggy tea towel.
"That could be dangerous," she mocked lightly giving him a look that under other circumstances would have given him a different feel in the pit of his stomach.
He rested his hands on her arms and turned her to face him properly, "you haven't mentioned the ranch or your father, I was thinking if you've got time off, we should go up and visit, I can probably do a few jobs for you too."
He felt her stiffen under his hands and saw the look in her eyes change, he waited for her to speak, but the longer she stayed silent the more his fears were confirmed. A lone tear trickled down her face, but he was unable to move to wipe it away. "Dad's gone."
He'd known it would take some sort of miracle for the old man to survive until he got home; they had talked a little about it before he left, but she promised to tell him when it happened.
"When?" he tried not to let his frustration show, waiting to see if she explained herself, perhaps it had been recently, since their last contact, but her reaction had wild thoughts running through his mind.
There was another long silence before she finally answered, "July."
He dropped his hands from her for fear of crushing her arms in his grasp, stunned that she had kept it from him for so long. He reacted without thinking and his tone was a lot harsher and louder than he'd planned, "Elena! That was nearly 6 months ago, you promised you would tell me if anything happened!"
"You weren't here; you couldn't do anything about it!" Of course she reacted the same way; he wasn't quite sure what he expected her to say.
"You should have told me, we both knew it was likely to happen, true we thought it might not be for a while, but you promised you wouldn't keep it to yourself."
"I didn't, I had help and support, you'd only just gone, what was I supposed to say? Hi honey, you've only just flown thousands of miles away in a war torn country and my father just died? I know how you would have felt, I couldn't have you distracted."
"That's not the point Elena, we were in this together!"
"So you were completely honest with me about what you were doing? … I don't think so, I know I saw the sanitised versions of your reports, just enough to stop me asking too many awkward questions. Anything that was too close to the wire got a rating over my clearance, so don't stand there and pretend I'm the only one to have kept secrets."
"I'm not saying that, just that I wish you'd have told me about your father and the baby, I could have handled it." He fought to control the frustration he had with her over thinking that she needed to protect him and could handle everything alone.
"Maybe you could, but I couldn't! I can't do this anymore, I need some air!" He was surprised when she rushed from the room, the sound of the front door banging brought him to his senses and he rushed after her, only to discover that she was already driving away.
"Elena! Stop!"
…..
Elena wasn't sure how she ended up on the beach or how long she had sat on the rocks for. It was pretty stupid to have gone there on her own, at that time of night and climbed across the rocks until she found one she could sit on. But something about the lapping of the waves on the shore and the calm moonlit night was soothing and she felt her and the baby needed it for a while. It wasn't the first time she had been to this spot, it had become a regular haunt when she was stressed, having discovered it soon after her return from Canberra 6 months before.
It was the nights like tonight that helped to give her the most peace, but tonight she was taking longer to calm down, perhaps it was the baby was more restless after the waves of different emotions that had rocked her during the day. She leaned back and ran her hand across her stomach.
"It's okay sweetie, it's just going to take us a while to catch up and adjust to Daddy being home. Sometimes we're too stubborn to know what's best." Several kicks against her hand were a form of acknowledgement from the baby. "Sh, go to sleep."
She heard the sound of running footsteps along the gravel path a short distance behind her, the sound travelling in the still night air, so she turned to check what was happening and saw Swain out for a run. He must have seen her because he approached, taking his time over the rocks, then sat down nearby.
"I thought you might be out here."
"Checking up on me again?" she asked casually, calm enough not to take out her frustration on anyone else.
"We just don't want anything happening to you."
"It won't, I'm just sitting here relaxing, or trying to," she answered, looking across at Swain wondering how much he believed her.
"It has been quite a day," he commented, running his hand up and down the back of his head.
"Did you know he was coming home?" Elena wondered how much anyone else knew; if somehow the others were in on Dutchy's surprise return.
"No, he just showed up. If he'd have warned me then I would have advised against it, for your sake."
"So what happens now? Have you told him where I am?"
"Would you want me to?" She guessed he was trying to gauge her mood before answering and she wasn't sure how she would feel either way.
"Honestly Swain, I don't know. I've wanted nothing more in the last 6 months than to have him home and I knew after this long it was going to be a little difficult to readjust but-" she stalled. She turned to look out to sea, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be dumping this on you, there's enough going on at home, you should be there with your family, not here."
"Sal and the girls are fine," he answered.
Elena turned to look at him, "it's Sally's first night home, Serena is only 2 days old and you have a very exited big sister, go home to them. I will be fine and if you want to shop me to my husband go ahead."
"I'm glad you said that, because I already told him you might be here," she waited, the look on his face suggesting that he was working up to saying something else. "I've known him a few years, the last time I saw him before he deployed was right before you flew to Canberra, he was clearing out his bunk on Hammersley, he couldn't say anything about the assignment, but his main concern was for you. I've seen him defuse bombs, fight terrorists, go undercover in a major sting operation and been almost killed, more than once, nothing affected him like it did that day. He only wanted to make sure you were looked after."
Elena gave him a brief smile, she had got to know Swain and Sally pretty well since the court case and she had easily formed a close bond with them, but Swain had never voiced his views like this to her before, it made her think a little. "I know we're both stubborn, trying to protect the other one, think we'll ever learn?"
Swain chuckled briefly, "you've got a good chance, just be prepared for the sleepless nights, especially if he's at sea, Sally can tell you what it's like."
"I know, we've talked a few times and now I think you've done your Good Samaritan act, you need to go home."
"So I'm busted?"
"Something like that. You've been sitting here long enough to keep me here until he can arrive, you're safe to go, I'm not going to run away, I just needed a time out."
"Can I at least help you off the rocks before he gets here and loses it again?"
"I guess you can."
Swain pushed himself to his feet and helped Elena to hers and across the rocks; they stood on the sand for a minute as they said goodnight before he turned and ran back the way he had come, heading for home.
Elena ran her hand over her swollen belly as she watched a taxi pull up behind her car along the beach road.
…..
Dutchy had seen Swain leave her and resume his run, and for a few seconds he sat in the car before paying the driver and getting out. He knew she was watching him as he slowly walked towards her, stopping a few feet away.
"I stuffed up, didn't I?" he asked casually.
"No." Her response was short and immediate, stopping anything further for a few seconds, then she stepped forward and rested her hand on his chest, over his heart. "We just need to readjust, we're used to being self-sufficient, to dealing with things alone, protecting each other. You turning up like that, it was nice, but maybe having a few days to get used to the idea would have helped me."
"What if I told you I had to go away again … just for a few days." She screwed his shirt up in her hand as she clung to him, "I have to go to Canberra to debrief and discuss what happens now. I'd like you to come with me, give us time away from here to talk."
"I'd love to say yes, but I've only got 2 weeks before I start maternity leave and a career break, Commander White is being reassigned and Mike Flynn wants to take a few days off while Hammersley are in, I'll be assuming some of his duties."
He reached out and grazed his fingers down her cheek while he stepped closer, the atmosphere between them calm as they talked, "so are they promoting you?"
"No, it's just a few extra responsibilities for a few days. Commander White's replacement arrives in the New Year. When do you leave for Canberra?"
"Day after tomorrow, I got a call after you left. They were trying to arrange it to be done here, but the Captain can't get away. I know you'll be okay with me gone, but I can't help thinking that I should be here with my girls."
"Girls?" she asked, he smirked at her.
"Sounds good, a daughter to wrap me around her little finger, isn't that how it works?" He rested his hand against her side, feeling the ripples of the baby moving. "She's active, is that normal?"
"I don't know if it's a girl, it might be a boy and you could be giving your son a complex."
"Elena, I'm serious, is it normal for a baby to be that active?" He was beginning to realise what a responsibility they had, that it wasn't going to be just the two of them and that as much as he wanted a family with her, he couldn't help but wish that the timing was different, that they had more time for themselves first.
"It's fine, probably just a reaction to the excitement today."
He smiled at her as he drew her closer, "I've got a lot to learn haven't I?"
"We both have, I'm no expert, I've just had time to get used to things a little more." She wrapped her arms around his neck as he put his around her waist. "I've got a doctor's appointment tomorrow, come with me, they can answer any questions you have. I'm thinking that afterwards we can take a drive and have lunch at our place up the coast before going to the ranch for the night. I want to show you what I've done to the place."
"Sounds good. So what do you think to me taking you home and us curling up in bed together while I tell you a little of what happened to me?"
"I like the sound of curling up in bed together, but I'm not sure about talking, I've got something else in mind."
It was difficult for him to read her expression in dark, but the way she held herself close to him and brushed her lips across his, she still conveyed her meaning. He smiled against her lips and raised his hand and tangled his fingers in her hair as he deepened the kiss for a moment.
"I like the sound of that," he finally mumbled against her skin as he trailed butterfly kisses across her jaw and down her neck.
Are there any more secrets to be revealed? Let me know what you think.
