The next morning, Ana wakes up to the feeling of warm hands wrapping around her thighs and spreading her legs. She moves her hands under the blanket to feel her boyfriend's silky locks. She can feel his breath on her wet core and raises her pelvis to get closer to his mouth. She feels him part her folds and skim the opening with his tongue. She whimpers before tightening her grip on his hair as he stabs her opening with his tongue, forcefully going in and out of her while rubbing his thumb over her sensitive bundle of nerves. She can feel the wetness leaking out of her and can already feel the wet spot forming underneath her. "Christian" she moans feeling her orgasm nearing and it doesn't take long before she's falling over the edge. She feels him moving up her body and soon they're nose to nose. "Well good morning to you too" she giggles as he slides into her. He says nothing as he rocks in and out of her burying his face in her neck. She's learned that Christian is extremely vocal during sex except for when something is wrong and in the back of her mind she wonders if it's the text he received at 4 am. She pulls his face to look at her and stares into his eyes. Come on baby, talk to me. What's wrong? She rubs his back as he buries his face back in her neck placing kisses on it. It isn't long before he's coming long hot spurts inside of her as he chokes out her name.

Christian always tells me he loves me during sex. Unless he's feeling possessive and caveman and then it's just ridiculously filthy. Either way he talks. She sighs as he pulls out of her, places a kiss on her lips and heads to the bathroom. She sits up in bed and folds her arms. What the fuck? She looks to his side of the bed and sees his phone. No Ana. No no no. Not a good idea. But a text at 4 am? His sister? I mean time differences be damned. Wait. He said she texted him and Elliott… She hears the shower start to run. He didn't ask me to shower with him… okay strike 3 something is definitely wrong! But can I really go through his phone? What if I see something I don't want to see? Well then wouldn't it be better to know? Is ignorance really bliss? "This is stupid, Ana. He's not cheating on you." She feels an itch in her fingers and before she knows it, she's grabbing his phone. "Shit he has a code? God dammit no one trusts anyone anymore" Think Ana. You've seen him go in his phone a million times. She tries a few things and is shocked that it unlocks when she punches in the numbers '0910'. Man he loves you, Ana. Her eyes well up with tears at such a simple gesture and she closes his phone without looking at anything. She sighs and shakes her head. "I trust him. I love him" She whispers to herself. He gets out of the shower and gets dressed in record time.

"I'm going to head home"

"Now?" Ana asks pulling on his t-shirt to cover up some of her nakedness and vulnerability.

"Yeah" he says rubbing his face.

"Okay… is everything okay?"

"Yeah, of course. I'll see you later okay?"

Later? I don't think he has ever used that phrase with me. "See you in an hour", "see you after practice" "after class" but later? "Ummm okay, later… tonight… remember I'm making you dinner?"

"Sure baby" he kisses her cheek and is out the door before she can say anything else.

"Sure?" she says to herself.


"You've been weird all day Steele, what's up?" Kate asks as she paints a fresh coat of polish over her nails.

She sits down the textbook she's reading to get an early start on the work for the semester. "Have you talked to Elliott today?"

"Of course."

"Not via text, over the phone"

"Well yeah he called about 20 minutes ago when he was on his way to work. We try to be mindful of time zones yaknow"

"Did he sound… different?"

"Ummm no?"

"Not distant or… odd or anything? Not off?"

"Nope… why? Did Christian tell you something?"

"No no nothing like that… and actually Christian has barely talked to me today" she says as she goes into the story starting with the alleged early morning text from their sister.

"Wow. And he left just like that?"

"Just like that"

"Well I'm sure it's…"

"What? What are you sure that it is… he's never acted that way towards me before! And he won't talk to me about it. This is bad, Kate" she says feeling her emotions getting the better of her

"Well give him some time; it's only been a few hours."

"But what if he was making up that Mia texted him. Because if he was that bothered by what she said to make him act like this surely you would notice a difference in Elliott as well? What if this Mia thing is bullshit?"

"Well maybe you should have checked his phone"

"I trust him."

"Do you? Doesn't sound like it?"

"Don't start. You know you would be freaked out too"

"Yes, but you trust Christian a lot more than I trust Elliott."

She groans and flops face down on their couch. Shit.

Meanwhile

He had read the texts over and over and still couldn't swallow what she was saying. He pulled up the thread with his siblings and read the line over and over again. He remembers pulling himself away from Ana's naked body much to his regret when he felt the vibration of a text message. He felt his stomach drop as he read that one line:

MG: Something's up with mom and dad.

CG: What do you mean "up?"

MG: Fighting a lot. What the hell are you doing up anyway? Isn't it 4 am over there?

CG: Your text woke me up. Fighting about what?

MG: Mom working late and on the weekends and stuff. She's def been really busy lately.

EG: Yeah she wasn't at dinner last week.

MG: There's more…

EG: Like what?

MG: Apparently dad has a new secretary… and they've been having a few "business dinners"

EG: What the fuck does that even mean?

MG: connect the dots dumbass

EG: you're saying dad's cheating on mom?

MG: I don't know… I think Mom thinks so. She called her his "mid-life crisis." God it's so cliché it's sickening. Like if he is cheating on mom… doing it with your secretary? How unoriginal, Dad.

EG: yes because THAT'S the point.

MG: look I don't even know for sure… but mom wants to see a counselor

CG: Really?

MG: yeah… they're so distant towards each other. Actually now that I think about it, it's been kind of weird all summer… Dad's been sleeping in the downstairs guest room for about a week or so but he has every so often the last few months. Look I gotta get some sleep, but I just wanted to keep you guys in the loop. I'll keep you updated.

CG: yeah definitely.

Business dinners? A secretary? FUCK. He couldn't picture his dad ever cheating on his mom. His parents loved each other. This was merely a rough patch. But what if it wasn't? If his parents couldn't make it work. No one could. Shit. And here Ana and I are with our head up in the fucking clouds like everything is a done deal. Are we being that naïve? And she knows something is up. Jesus Grey and did you have to just fuck her, shower and leave like that this morning? What a colossal 'fuck you'. If my parents can't fix this… is this what I have to look forward to in 20 years? He puts his head in his hands as he sips on a glass of whiskey he cracked open moments after getting to his house. He just wanted to be alone with his thoughts and not have Ana staring at him with those big, gorgeous eyes and wanting to make everything better. Ana can't make this better. What if his parents did break up…?


About six hours later, John (another guy from the Row Team who is also living with them) came in. "Yo man you missed practice" he says slapping his leg and sitting next to him on the couch

He rubs a hand over his face and groans. "SHIT" he hiccups and then shrugs. "Whatever"

"You alright?"

"Fine" he says downing the rest of his whiskey.

"Wasn't that full this morning? You drank all of that? Shit did Ana break up with you?"

"Shut up dick" he says as he pours himself another drink.

"You're drinking your weight in whiskey, either someone died or… actually no because Ana would be here with you. So the fact that you're this hammered looking like shit and Ana isn't here leads me to believe something's wrong. What's up?"

"None of your business John. I'm fine. Ana and I are fine. Just go"

"Suit yourself. I hope whatever it is, you talk to someone… because this isn't healthy" he says pointing to the bottle of Jack Daniels.


"I haven't heard from him all day" Ana says pacing her kitchen as she continues making their dinner. "He's not going to come over for dinner"

"Ana, he's coming. He wouldn't bail on you. When has he ever?"

"I've never seen him like this though… maybe… maybe I should call Mia. I mean she's confided in me about stuff… stuff with Dylan… we talk… maybe I could ask her and she wouldn't tell Christian that I was spying"

"Don't you want him to tell you himself?"

"Not particularly"

"Okay so, you ask Mia she tells you and then what? You… sit and wait or… ask him about it? Besides that's kind of like invading his privacy right?"

"Kate… can you PLEASE just be on my side"

"I am I am! I just… Okay what if he wasn't texting Mia?"

Her mouth drops open and the tears rush to her eyes. "Wh—what? Why would you say that?"

"I'm just… I just don't want you to call Mia and be super blind sighted."

"But… he wouldn't lie to me. Ever."

"No of course not. It was just a thought…"

"Shit. Now you've got me thinking"

"I'm sorry! I just… I don't want you to get hurt. I mean Elliott has been 100% normal… and like you said why is he okay with whatever it is she told them and Christian is taking it completely different?"

"You're the worst best friend ever" she says uncorking the bottle of wine.

"I'm sorry, Steele. You know I'm on your side. I want to know too… I hate that he's treating you like this."

"Do you think… he's cheating on me?"

"No. It was just a thought…I don't know why I said that. Of course he's not cheating on you, Ana. He loves you" she says pulling her into a tight hug.

She picks up her phone and calls him sighing when it goes to voicemail. "Hi baby, it's me… just wondering when you were coming over? Call me, love you" she says running her hands through his hair.


An hour later, the food was done and she felt the tears brimming over her bottom lids. She turns the food off that's on the stove and pulls her shoes on before walking down the street to his house. She knocks on the door a few times before John opens the door.

"Hey Ana"

"Hi… is Christian here?"

"Yeah I think he's in his room… he's had a bit to drink today"

"He's… drunk?"

"Oh yeah"

She heads upstairs and sees Christian sitting on his bed with his head in his hands. "Hi" she whispers.

He looks up towards the voice and gives her a sad smile. "Ana" he whispers. His eyes are red and he looks tired, drunk and as if he's been pulling at his hair all day. He closes the space between them and pushes her against the door before taking her lips forcefully stabbing the inside of her mouth with his tongue. He's barely stable and she's worried he might fall and bring her down with him with how much he's wobbling. Normally it's hot and she loves it, but his distance mixed with the fact that he's hammered is making her feel anything but turned on.

"Baby hey… slow down. What's wrong" she says pulling his face away from hers so she can look at him. "Talk to me. You know you can tell me anything"

"I don't want to talk, I just want to fuck"

Again usually his vulgarity turns her on but the harshness of this comment sent a chill down her spine. "We can do that too… but hey… look at me" he says grabbing his jaw to look at her. "I am always here for you"

"Yes I know, Anastasia" he slurs. "But right now I need your sexy cunt on my dick… can you do that?"

"Christian…"

He pulls away from her and scoffs. "Is that how it starts? No sex? And the next thing you know you're working late and I'm fucking my slutty 20 year old secretary?" he says walking away from her.

She shakes her head out of utter confusion and follows him. "Christian what are you talking about?"

"What's the fucking point?"

"The point of what?"

"Any of it… you and me… there's no point"

She feels the breath catch in her throat and she feels like someone has ripped her heart out and cut off her supply of oxygen. "Wh—what?"

"Everyone breaks up anyway"

"Are… are you breaking up with me?" she asks feeling the floodgates open as she can no longer hold back the tears. He's silent and she closes the space between them. "Please… don't do this"

"Do what?"

"Push me away. I love you, Christian" she hates the way she sounds. So needy. So clingy. God damn the hold this man had over her.

He looks down at her and sighs. "Why do you love me?"

"Because I do." She takes his face in her hands. "You're sweet and caring and you take such good care of me. You're respectful, honest, loyal and you would go to the ends of the Earth for me and the people you love. You're a good man… the best I've ever known. I can't survive without you, Christian… don't… leave me. Not because you're scared… talk to me. Please"

His eyes close and when they open they're watery. He sits pulling her into his lap and holds onto her fearing she'll disappear. "My parents are… I don't know. Going through some shit"

She feels the familiar tingle down her spine and her eyes go wide as she feels the tears form. Oh my God, it's Nate all over again. Stay calm. She pulls her head out of his neck. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know… Mia texted us saying that they're fighting a lot and potentially seeing a counselor… Ana I can't do this" he says moving her off of him.

"Do what?"

"My parents are… they love each other. They're everything to each other."

"We're not them" she says quietly.

"I know that Anastasia" he snaps. He sighs when he sees the hurt crossing her face. "Look Ana I'm tired and worked up and drunk… you should just go before I say something I'll regret."

Like breaking up with me? Been there done that. She bites her bottom lip and nods. "Call me if you want to talk, okay?"

"Okay"

She's halfway down the stairs when she feels the tears start to fall. No way was she giving up that easily. She turns around and heads back upstairs. "Don't shut me out, Christian"

"I thought you left" he said rubbing his temples.

"No. I'm not going anywhere. Ever."

He sighs and rubs his face. "God Ana what do you want from me?" he yells.

"I…I don't want anything from you… just you."

"Ana…"

She sits on his lap and brings his hands to her lips. "I love you, Christian. You and me, remember? Nothing's changed between us."

He lowers his head slightly and nods. "You and me" he whispers back.

"Hey" she says turning his attention to hers. "I'm sorry" She moves his hair back and kisses his forehead. "About your parents"

"I… they saved my life… both of them…" he chokes out.

"I know… but what's going on between them has nothing to do with how much they care about you, and will always care about you." He doesn't reply and they're silent for a while. "What exactly did Mia say?"

He shows her their thread and in the back of her mind breathes a sigh of relief that it was just Mia last night. "Well this doesn't necessarily mean they're splitting up, Christian. It seems they're trying to work it out"

"While my dad is fucking some girl in his office? Good one. My mother would leave him, fuck counseling"

"You don't know that for sure he's done anything, that's speculation"

He sighs. "What if that happens to us?"

"What?"

"We get married and in 20 or so years…" he trails off.

"That could never be us. We love each other too much"

"No one gets into a relationship thinking they'll cheat or thinking they'll break up. But that's life"

"Okay can we stop the break up talk? Frankly it's making me a little upset"

He rolls his eyes. "Just saying"

"What are you just saying, Christian? Do you want to break up? Is that what you really want? You're so worried that what may or may not be happening between your parents could maybe happen to us 20 years down the road? So you want to break up with me now?"

He's silent. "I don't know, Ana"

"You don't know? After everything that has happened between us? K well do me a favor, don't start fucking someone behind my back while you're figuring it out" she growls and slams his door behind her before storming down the stairs and out his front door.

She can feel her feet running, hitting the pavement harder and harder with each step. Hot tears welling up in her eyes and falling with every step. She enters the kitchen and grabs the bottle of wine she opened and goes into her room. Nate 2.0. Great. She sits on her bed praying for her phone to ring. After an hour of staring at her phone she lies on her back and texts Sean.

At the risk of sounding like a crazy girlfriend, let me know if he leaves your house.

She knew the signs, she saw the cold and distant look in his eyes, and she would be damned if she would go through this shit again. She couldn't imagine the pain she would go through if Christian ever cheated on her… ever moved on without her. She needed him. She looked at the ring on her finger and was positive he needed her too. But in the face of what he was potentially about to go through with his family, would he remember that?


He's in shock at her final words to him. Did she just compare me to…? Oh fuck that. How could she think I would ever… Well she probably didn't think you would ever break up with her either. I didn't break up with her… I just need… space. Space from… Ana? He pulls at his hair for the hundredth time that night and sighs. He powers up his laptop and immediately goes to the United Airways website and before he knew it he had booked a flight to Seattle. Space.

A/N: So before you all get up in arms, I know I said they weren't breaking up. And they are NOT broken up. No break ups here! That being said, no couple enters into a relationship thinking they will break up. But things happen. (Like Christian said) When I started this story I had no plans to ever do anything like this, but how many chapters can I write about them getting it on? I feel like I'm on this journey with them step by step and they've hit a road block and well c'est la vie. It happens. But… y'all do know they get married right? Those outtakes weren't dream sequences haha they do actually happen! So rest assured this is only temporary. And NO CHEATING. That I promise… I couldn't even allude to something like that!

Thank you for sticking with my story and for the countless reviews and messages! They mean a lot to me! Xoxo