Chapter Fifty-Four: "Tonight and the Rest of Our Lives"

"You're right. There is more. You want to know why I was so ready to accept Andrew's lies? You want to know why I couldn't allow myself to believe in you when I should have? It was because I did believe in you, Theresa, and my belief in you nearly destroyed me in the process!"

Theresa cringed when she heard Ethan's words. She shook her head and spoke, her voice full of pain. "Ethan, I don't understand! What do you mean? How could believing in me destroy you?"

Ethan turned away from her. He wasn't sure he would be able to speak if he continued to look into her luminous brown eyes so filled with hurt.

Taking a deep breath, he willed all the emotions that were crashing in on him to go away. He needed to keep his composure, to remain calm. It was just so hard, even six years later, to speak of it. It was difficult to face the fact that everything he had believed to be true about this woman he loved was wrong.

Theresa sensed Ethan's hesitation and reached out to touch his arm. "Please, Ethan. Please."

Finally, Ethan turned around and spoke. "I learned the truth about you, Theresa."

"I already know that you learned about the Chuck lie and-"

"That's not it. I learned everything else."

Theresa swallowed hard. The haunted look in Ethan's eyes filled her heart with dread. "I don't understand. There was nothing else!"

Ethan crossed his arms, anger creeping into his voice. "Are you honestly going to stand there and tell me that there was nothing or no one else? That I had no other reason to feel betrayed by you?"

"What are you talking about? Ethan, there was never anyone else for me but you! I lived and breathed you!"

Theresa spoke with such force and certainly, Ethan found himself wanting to believe the words she said. Yet how could he? How could he believe her when he'd seen with his own eyes the words she wrote in her diary?

"No, you didn't, Theresa."

Theresa felt tears sting her eyes. She remembered all-too-well how it felt when Ethan cut her from his life. It crushed her. Ethan had been her existence, and it took a long time for her to rebuild her life.

"How can you say that to me? A part of me died the day you turned your back on me!"

"I suppose a part of me died that day, too, though in a different way. The blind trust I put in people is gone. I'm more careful now about whom I trust."

Theresa rubbed her forehead. "What do you think I did?"

Ethan glared at her. "Are you really going to play this game with me, Theresa?"

"I'm not playing a game! What is this all about?"

"I read your diary," he blurted out.

Theresa felt her cheeks redden. All of her hopes and dreams had gone into her diary. It was a little embarrassing to know he'd read it. "You what? Ethan, my diary was private! You had no right!"

"Perhaps not," he conceded, "but I'm glad that I did. It showed me what you really are."

"What? A girl who was love-sick for you?"

Ethan laughed harshly. "Love-sick for me? Hardly. Love-sick for my money, perhaps. Love-sick for Noah Bennett, definitely."

He couldn't be serious.

He couldn't be!

Yet when Theresa looked into his blue eyes, she knew that he was deadly serious. He believed what he was saying was true.

"Dios mio! Ethan, I was never after your money! And I most certainly was never in love with Noah Bennett! I might have thought I was in love with him the summer I was fourteen, but that's it!"

Ethan shook his head. "Theresa, I read your very own words. I read how you plotted to split Gwen and me up, how it was all part of your plan to marry me so that you could live in the lap of luxury. I read about Noah Bennett coming home for spring break and how you and he resumed your relationship."

"There was no relationship to resume. Noah is one of my oldest friends, Ethan. Nothing else!"

"Do you sleep with all of your friends?" Ethan spat out.

Theresa gasped. Without thinking, she struck him across the cheek.

Ethan rubbed his stinging cheek, noting the shock and hurt on Resa's face.

Tears spilled down her cheeks. "Do you really think so little of me, Ethan? What? Do you think I whore myself to the highest bidder? My God, why do I even try to be a good person when you and everyone else want to believe the worst?"

"The information about your plan to break up Gwen and me was in your own words. The information about your trysts with Noah Bennett was in your own words, Theresa."

"You're wrong, Ethan! I never wrote about plotting or planning to break up you and Gwen. Did I use situations to my advantage? Yes. Did I try to create problems for you? Absolutely not! And I would never write about sleeping with Noah Bennett because it never happened! I remember being happy to see him that spring because we grew up together, not because we were sleeping together!"

She walked to the sofa and sat down, elbows on her knees, her hands covering her face. Why would he even think that? She'd never even been with a man in that way!

She sighed, remembering words her mother used to say to her often. "If you keep telling lies, Theresita, soon no one will believe you when you tell the truth."

Ethan maintained his distance. "I know what I saw, Theresa."

She looked up at him. "Ethan, if I were such a manipulative gold-digger or a femme fatale, why didn't I ever try to seduce you? Why not go for the old tried and true method of getting you drunk, sleeping with you, and getting pregnant? Then you would have always been tied to me."

Ethan thought for a minute before answering, "Because you knew that your so-called innocence was one of those qualities I found so refreshing about you."

"So-called innocence," Theresa repeated numbly. No wonder he reacted so strongly to seeing me with his brother, she thought. If he's been thinking this for the last six years…

But it wasn't true!

She felt dizzy when the realization hit her. "Oh God. That was why you did it! You showed up at the park that day and cut me out of your life because you thought I betrayed you! And that's why tonight…. " her voice trailed off.

"Now do you understand why I've had such a difficult time believing in you, Theresa?"

Theresa stood and walked to where he stood. Reaching up, she touched his face.

"Look at me, Ethan."

Ethan knew he should pull away from her. How could she still be denying everything?

"When I was a seventeen year old girl, I was so crazy about you, and I went over-the-top. I lied about not having feelings for you; I lied about Chuck. I was so afraid of you finding out, I let these lies continue. That was wrong of me, Ethan. I know it was.

"I know you have every reason in the world to think I'm lying to you now because I have lied to you in the past, but please look into my eyes and listen to my words. I never wrote those terrible things in my diary because I loved you-not your money. I certainly never slept with Noah because I was in love with you. Besides, I always promised myself that I would wait until I was married.

"Ethan, whatever you read, it wasn't my diary."

"I wish that were true, but there were things in your diary that only you and I knew about. You mentioned the time Gwen's engagement ring was stuck on your finger. You mentioned the time we spent together at the cabin. No one else knows about those things."

"There has to be some explanation!" Theresa cried out. "How…how did you get hold of my diary?"

"You left your laptop at the mansion. Gwen was going to look at wedding plans, but she accidentally hit the diary icon on the desktop."

Accidentally my foot, thought Theresa.

Ethan continued, "When she saw her name and mine on the screen, she was curious, so she read it. I came home that day, and she was waiting for me in my room. She knew everything. She knew that we'd been spending a lot of time together, and she knew that I was planning on breaking up with her. She also knew everything else about you."

Now it was all starting to make sense. "Gwen. I guess she couldn't wait to show you, could she?"

"It wasn't like that, Theresa. She was upset. She thought you were her friend." He shook his head. "And I was just as dishonest. I should have told her that I had feelings for you the minute I realized it."

"Ethan, is it possible that she realized you had feelings for me before she came to you with my computer? I left my computer at the mansion, and Gwen had access to it. Everything falls into place! Ethan, I didn't write those things, but I have a pretty good idea of who did."

"No. Gwen would not do something like that. She's one of the most honest people I know."

"Right. And she just happens to be one of the most vindictive people that I know. You know that I don't like to speak ill of anyone, but you have no idea of what she is really like! Ethan, she has repeatedly thrown Chuck's death in my face! Her 'Always the bridesmaid, never the bride' or 'Oh poor me, my fiancé's dead' cracks come to mind. Not only that, but she takes great pleasure in telling me of how you and she are working on having a baby. She does things to purposely try to hurt me."

Ethan couldn't believe what he was hearing. Gwen was saying those things to Theresa? If Gwen would say those things, what else would she do or say?

"She really said those things to you about Chuck?"

"Yes."

Ethan took a deep breath. He knew how much Theresa had loved Chuck, and how much she still did. How anyone could use Chuck against Theresa like that was beyond him.

"I'm sorry she did that, Theresa."

Ethan thought back to the time shortly before he read Theresa's diary. Gwen had just returned from a business trip, and he'd been trying to tell her that he was in love with Theresa when she suddenly remembered that she was supposed to be at her mother's house. Ethan had thought it strange at the time.

Was it possible that Gwen had known the truth about his feelings for Theresa then and was just trying to buy time? The thought unnerved Ethan.

"I know why she does it, Ethan. She's scared, and desperation brings out the worst in all of us. But I wish you would rethink whom you place your trust in, at least until Gwen figures out that I'm not trying to take you away from her. Is this the type of behavior you would want from the mother of your child?

The lies were starting to come out. Certainly, he and Gwen had talked about having a baby, but he'd told her that they weren't ready. He was not about to bring a child into an unstable home. Ethan looked at Theresa reassuringly. "Resa, Gwen and I aren't trying to have a baby. In fact, we haven't even…."

"Haven't even what?"

Ethan shook his head. "We haven't been together in months. How could I be with her when all I can think about is you?" He touched her face, wiping her tears away. "Don't you know that you consume my thoughts, my dreams? And that you have ever since I met you?"

Theresa closed her eyes, reveling in the feel of his skin against hers. Relief washed over her; relief that they were finally starting to sort through the web of deceit that had been woven around them.

Theresa opened her eyes and looked directly into Ethan's. "You've never been far from my thoughts…or from my heart, either. I love you, Ethan! I know I have no right to feel this way, but I do love you."

Ethan felt tears sting his eyes. This woman he loved with everything in his being….with all of his soul….had never been untrue to him! There had never been a relationship with Noah Bennett. There had never been a plan to marry him for his money. Theresa was innocent!

Even after the way he'd treated her, she still loved him.

He didn't deserve her love, but he had it.

Tenderly, he cupped her face and whispered, "I believe in you, Theresa. I believe in you. And with everything that I am, I love you. I never stopped, and I never will stop loving you."

Tears spilled down her cheeks as she listened to his words.

He believed in her.

He loved her.

She threw her arms around his neck, and he held her to him tightly. He didn't ever want to let go. He'd let go before when he shouldn't have, but he was never letting go of Theresa again.

He felt tears slide down his own cheeks.

It was all his fault.

He'd walked away from Theresa, spent six years without her, because he was a damn fool.

He'd broken her heart over and over because he was too proud.

He'd nearly lost her again through his own stupidity.

Six years.

Six years!

Six years without his Resa.

Six years without holding her and telling her he loved her.

Six years without his hopes and dreams.

Six years of living a lie.

"I'm so sorry, Resa. I should have believed you, should have listened to you…."

His voice broke, and Theresa clung to him even more tightly.

"Ssshhhh," she whispered as she rubbed his back. "You didn't know. Neither of us knew."

"Six years, Theresa. Six years!"

How could Gwen have done this to them? And how could he have let her?

"Ethan," she said pulling away from him and looking into his eyes, "we have tonight and the rest of our lives. Do you know how lucky we are?"

He smiled. "You are amazing."

He drew in a breath and just stared at her. Her eyes looked so luminous, so beautiful. He looked down further at her lips, so full and kissable. He leaned down and brushed his lips against hers. When their lips touched, he felt as though an electric pulse shot through his body. It had always been that way for them, for as long as he could remember.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, not wanting the moment to end, and it didn't.

His kisses became more probing, more demanding. He put his arms around her waist, trying to draw her closer. Gently, he teased her lips apart before thrusting his tongue into her mouth.

Each time she kissed Ethan, she was amazed by the feelings their kisses evoked. As a young girl, she'd often imagined what it would be like to feel an all-consuming love. Yet never in her wildest imagination had she thought these feelings inside her were possible.

A sigh of pleasure escaped from her.

Her little noise drove him to distraction. His hands began to move upward as he began to kiss her neck. His hands were resting under the swell of her breasts when his good sense returned to him. He found himself responding to her too much.

Ethan pulled away and looked at his Resa. Her lips were swollen, and her chest rose and fell rapidly. He could see the sheer wonder and adoration in her eyes, and it made him feel as though he was the luckiest man alive.

"Why'd you stop?" she teased with a grin.

"I think you know why," he replied with a smile.

Theresa nodded. Even if Gwen lied to keep them apart, Ethan was still married to her. They had to be careful not to let things go too far between them.

"Maybe we could play a little game," she suggested with a twinkle in her eyes.

"Oh? A game? You and your games! What is this one called?"

"'All the reasons I love you,'" she replied.

"I think I like the sound of that. So what does the winner get?"

"A kiss," she replied.

"Sounds fair. And what does the loser have to do?"

"Give the winner a kiss."

"Sounds positively equitable," Ethan replied with a chuckle.

"I thought you would see things my way," she replied taking her hand in his. "Now, come over to the couch with me, and I'll show you how to play."

Ethan sat on the couch, and Theresa sat next to him, very close. "Give me your hand," she instructed him. He complied and she took his large hand in her small ones. "Think back with me. When you were a child and were learning to count, you probably used your fingers. So that's what we'll do tonight."

With one of her hands, she supported his. With the other, she used her thumb and index finger to begin rubbing the length of his thumb. "Reason number one of why I love you: you are willing to take chances and do new things. I will never forget being serenaded by Elvis, nor will I forget Luigi and his suspicious Italian accent. You are my singing partner, my cookie-making partner, my puddle-jumping partner, and you throw a mean snowball."

"Don't forget that I also happen to be a good sport. I play games with you," he interjected.

"Yes, you do," she laughed. "And you make me laugh."

She lifted his hand and lightly kissed the pad of his thumb.

Ethan felt a chill run through him. The lightness of the moment was lost, and he was beginning to feel something else entirely….

She moved to his index finger and began rubbing it between her thumb and index finger. "Reason number two of why I love you: you aren't conceited and you look beyond appearances. I still remember long ago how you treated me when I first started to work for your mother. Remember how I was wearing that terrible wig and those coke bottle glasses?"

"How could I ever forget?"

"You were so kind to me. You looked beyond appearances and took the time to befriend me. You are a genuine person, Ethan. A good person."

Once again, she lifted his hand to her lips and lightly kissed the pad of his index finger.

He drew in a deep breath. What she was starting to do to him….

She moved to his middle finger and began rubbing it between her thumb and index finger. "Reason number three of why I love you: you are so caring. I can't even begin to express to you how much it meant to me when you took care of me the other night. Getting that phone call…." She shuddered to remember it. "It just really shook me up. You could've walked away. You could've pushed the problem onto someone else, but you didn't. You stayed with me, talked to me, calmed me. You even took out the kitty litter! Now that is true caring."

Again, she lifted his hand to her lips. She lightly kissed the pad of his middle finger.

Does she have any idea of what she is doing to me? he wondered.

She moved to his ring finger, but stopped when she saw the golden band around it. Seeing it brought their situation into perspective. Ethan should've been wearing a wedding ring that she gave to him. Yet he wasn't. He was wearing a ring given to him by Gwen.

She knew she would be opening up a can of worms, but she couldn't help herself. Quietly, she asked, "Why did you do it, Ethan? Why did you marry Gwen if you still loved me?"

He took a deep breath. "I've often wondered the same thing. I shouldn't have done it."

She said nothing and waited for him to continue.

"I wasn't strong enough, Resa. Father and Grandfather were still expecting this marriage to take place. Gwen told me over and over that she loved me, that she would never betray me."

"The way you thought I had," Theresa said.

"I just wasn't strong enough. I was numb. I couldn't think; I couldn't feel. So I went along with everything we'd planned and convinced myself that it was the right thing to do. I convinced myself that I could be happy and that I could make Gwen happy."

"She's not going to let you go, Ethan."

"She doesn't have a choice," he insisted.

Theresa shook her head. "Yes, she does. She will fight this! I know she will. And I think we both know that she doesn't fight fairly."

Ethan touched Theresa's face. "She can't hurt us anymore, Resa. Now that we know the truth, she can't touch us. I think she'll understand that, and move on. Hopefully, she'll even find someone who can make her happy."

"Ethan, I just don't think-"

Theresa stopped mid-sentence when she saw the door of Chad's office swing open. In the doorway stood Chad and Whitney. Theresa couldn't help but notice that her best friend did not look very happy.

"Theresa, are you okay?" Whitney asked as she burst into the office.

"Oh, I'm fine. Actually," she said looking at Ethan, "I am more than fine."

Chad looked at Ethan. "Yeah, from the looks of things, I'd say so." He looked back at Whitney. "See. I told you nothin' bad was gonna happen with the two of them. Gasoline and fire? Ha."

Whitney ignored him. "Are you sure, Theresa? When I realized what Chad had done, I was so worried."

Theresa looked back at Ethan and said, "I'm glad Chad did what he did. If he hadn't, I might have continued to be pig-headed. It's a Lopez-Fitzgerald trait, you know."

"You? Stubborn?" Ethan asked with mock disbelief. "Never!"

Theresa playfully hit his arm. "See what I have to put up with?"

Chad shot Whitney a told-you-so glance. "Damn, I'm good," he said to himself.


Ethan and Theresa stood on her front doorstep, fingers intertwined.

"This night feels like a dream. A wonderful, magical, amazing dream!" Theresa exclaimed.

"If it's a dream, don't wake me up," Ethan murmured before lightly touching Theresa's lips with his own.

"I love you, Ethan Crane."

"I love you, too, Theresa Lopez-Fitzgerald."

Theresa looked back at the door. "11:00 AM is an eternity away! I don't want you to go."

"It'll be here before you know it. I promise. And tomorrow, I'll have news for you."

"We're going to have a lot of people unhappy with us. Your family….and mine."

"We've let other people control us for too long, Theresa. It's time to think only of ourselves, to be selfish."

"I'm just afraid that something is going to happen, Ethan. It's as though we always get so close to having everything we want, and then the rug gets pulled out from under us!"

He traced the contour of her cheek. "Wild horses couldn't keep me away from you! Nothing is going to stop us from being together, Theresa."

"Oh, I wish 11:00 were here already!"

"Me, too," he replied quietly.

She didn't envy what he was going to have to face tonight when he returned home. She could tell that he dreaded it. Even though Gwen had lied to them over and over, he still didn't want to hurt her. It was no light matter to end a marriage.

"I'll be dreaming about you tonight. Happy dreams, wonderful dreams."

Ethan kissed her thoroughly before unlocking the door of her house. Slowly, she walked inside.

"I'll see you tomorrow at the park. I love you, Resa. So much."

She watched from the window as he walked to his car and drove away.

Sighing contentedly, she thought, We're finally going to get our happily ever after.


A few minutes later as she was scurrying about the house doing last-minute chores before heading to bed, she heard a car pull up in the driveway and then a light tapping on her front door.

Swinging the door open, she excitedly said, "I knew you wouldn't be able to stay away!"

Yet to her surprise, Ethan was not standing there.

Andrew Winthrop Crane was.


Ethan walked into the Crane Mansion and was greeted by Julian who was helping himself to a nightcap.

"The prodigal son returns. Did you have a busy night after you left the restaurant, Son?"

"You could say that," Ethan replied before heading up the stairs.

He stopped outside of his bedroom door, trying to gather his thoughts. He'd prepared what he wanted to say to Gwen, but now that he was about to speak with her, it somehow seemed inadequate.

As he reached for the door, it swung open. "Ethan, you're home! I'm so glad you're here!" Gwen said as she threw her arms around his neck.

Ethan walked in the room and closed the door behind him. Extricating himself from her hold, he said firmly, "Gwen, we need to talk."