Chapter 54
Monday, January 28, 2013 – Day 101
"Lemme see! Lemme see!" I chant excitedly, nearly jumping up and down.
Edward blushes, but he's grinning from ear to ear as he unbuttons his shirt and pulls it away. There's a bandage on his chest, covering the entry point where the central line was, but all the tubes and wires are gone. "We'll have to watch it closely and keep it sterile while it heals, but all that's there now is a small incision wound," he says proudly.
I whoop and jump into his arms, being careful to snuggle against the opposite side of his chest. He winces slightly, but he encircles me with his arms, and I can feel the strength there. "Is that everything?"
"Yes," he replies. "I don't have to come back until next week."
I grin so broadly I think my face is going to split. He's come so far in such a relatively short time. I know that to him it seems like forever, but sometimes, I still can't believe that less than five months ago, I almost lost him. That he was literally on his deathbed, and he almost chose to let go.
I push the thoughts away as we head out to the car. We're both still beaming when we get in, so I decide it's time to unleash my surprise.
"We should celebrate tonight."
Edward grins at me. "That sounds like an excellent idea. For the first time in a long while, I'm actually in the mood to celebrate."
"Good because I have a plan," I tell him, my words tumbling out excitedly.
"I had a feeling," he says, smirking as I playfully swat his shoulder. "So what did you have in mind? Takeout and a movie?"
"Oh, I'm thinking bigger than that. We have reservations at Il Terrazzo Carmine at seven."
The smirk freezes on his face, and when I glance over, there's fear in his eyes. "Bella," he starts uncertainly.
But I expected this. After all these months of staying away from everyone, and after being so sick in December, it's natural for him to be afraid to take any risks. But he ought to know me better than that.
"Now wait just a minute, I'm not finished yet. When I called them yesterday, I booked the private alcove in the back so we won't be close to anyone, and it's Monday night so they won't be that busy anyway. And I'll open the doors and handle the check and everything. I think as long as you don't touch anything more than you need to, everything will be fine."
He huffs out a breath, and forces his shoulders to relax. "You're right. I haven't been anywhere other than the apartment and the hospital in over six months—it's time for me to get out a little."
"But not touch things," I add hastily.
"But what if I want to touch things?" he asks. I look over in shock, but there's an evil gleam in his eye. "I think you'll just have to let me touch you to keep me distracted so I won't want to touch anything else." He pinches my side playfully, and I squeal. But I realize he's okay with this. He's comfortable enough that he's joking around, and he might even be looking forward to it.
"Some touching might be allowed," I concede, winking at him. But I've got another surprise for him, and this one's even better than dinner out.
We drive home and I drop him off in front of the building, and after I park, I find him waiting on the bench in the lobby. I stop in the hallway coming from the stairwell, out of his line of sight, and just look at him. He looks … amazing. To anyone who doesn't know him, there are no signs that he ever was a cancer patient. He's still on the thin side, but according to today's weigh-in, he's gained fifteen pounds since he left the hospital. He sits casually—hands in the pockets of his jeans because his fingers are still always cold, but it's a mild day in Seattle so the sleeves of his brown corduroy jacket are rolled up to the elbows. He wears no surgical mask today—one of the freedoms he's gained by reaching Day 100, but he's still wearing his black beanie over his newly re-grown hair. It's growing back at a good rate, but he still has a few bald spots, and he's self-conscious about them in public. The hollows in his cheeks have filled in, as have his eyebrows, and that fine dusting of stubble he always had in the hospital has finally returned to cover his strong, lickable jaw. As I walk into the lobby, his stunning green eyes make my steps falter, and as that spectacular smile I love so much spreads across his face, I go weak in the knees. God, how did I get so lucky—to have this man fall in love with me? But the truly precious parts are on the inside—his mind and his heart and his beautiful, artistic soul.
He stands as I approach and puts an arm around me—not because he needs help, but because he keeps his hands on me as much as he can now. Little caresses and pats as he walks by me, an arm around my shoulder or waist when we're walking, and whenever we sit near each other, his fingers are always entwined in mine. He's such a cuddler, and it's so obvious no matter where we are.
His touch brings me back to the present, and I chuckle as I remember the surprise that's waiting upstairs.
"What?" he asks, those brilliant green eyes alight and probing.
"Nothing. It's just a really good day," I answer, punching the button for the elevator.
When we get to the apartment, I let him open the door, and he startles when he sees Jasper and Alice seated on the couch, grinning at him.
"Jasper! Alice! What are—Sebastian!" he exclaims, and a grey streak flies across the room and plants his forepaws on Edward's jeans, stretching up Edward's legs as far as possible and purring loudly. In that moment, I swear that cat is a dog, the way he reacts to Edward. But Edward's reaction isn't any less affectionate. He looks down and laughs a carefree, joyous laugh, his whole body softening. He starts to bend down, but freezes, turning questioning eyes to me.
"You can touch him, just don't touch your face, and you'll need to wash your hands afterward."
Edward smiles even wider and plops down on the floor right where he is and begins scratching Sebastian behind the ears, making him purr even louder. "I've missed you, boy," he says, his tone warm and exuberant as Sebastian butts his head against Edward's knee.
The cute is absolutely unbelievable, and I go to the couch and sit down next to Alice to have a ringside seat for a reunion that's better than most on TV shows. Edward focuses solely on Sebastian for a few moments as they reacquaint themselves with each other, and when he finally raises his eyes and sees the three of us staring at him, he blushes fiercely.
"Hi, Edward, it's so nice to see you," Jasper teases, deepening Edward's blush.
"It's nice to see you too, Jazz, but I haven't seen Sebastian since July, so I'm a little more excited about him," Edward answers, unashamedly stroking his cat.
"Well, it's obvious he's missed you, if this display is any indication."
"I guess so," Edward says, chuckling. "How long can he stay?"
"He's home," I chime in, and Edward lights up like a Christmas tree.
"Really? You're kidding! We really get to keep him now?"
"Yes, sweetheart, he can stay. His litter has to go in the laundry room, and you're not allowed to touch it, but other than that, there are no restrictions. We are now a family of three."
Edward's grin is spectacular, but he quickly turns it on Jasper and Alice. "Thank you so much for keeping him for so long; I'm sure it was a pain in the ass—"
"Nonsense!" Jasper says, cutting him off. "As far as I'm concerned, Sebastian earned his keep when he kept you company through two rounds of chemo. He helped you through some pretty rough days, and I still consider myself in his debt."
Edward chuckles and shakes his head, but he doesn't argue. We all know how true it is.
"How's Day 101 treating you?" Alice asks, smirking at him.
"Well, I'm tube-free, I just got my best friend back, and Bella's taking me out to dinner tonight. I'd say Day 101 gets a pretty high score."
"Good! You deserve it," Alice answers. "Just like I always said you did."
A look passes between them, and it's tender and sweet. They were so close when Edward was in the hospital, and I know she cared for him in ways I don't even know about and never will. I hope their bond always remains strong.
Alice and Jasper stay and have lunch with us, and the conversation is light and easy. Jasper tells Edward about a gallery show one of their friends is having, and Alice and I firm up plans for a girls' night out. And every time Edward gets up, Sebastian follows on his heels like a puppy. It's as if he's afraid Edward is going to disappear if he lets him out of his sight, but I guess that's exactly what happened when Edward got sick all those months ago.
Edward excuses himself for his nap right after lunch; he's had a busy day already between the hours we spent at the hospital and Alice and Jasper's visit. And we still have our dinner tonight.
After I see our guests out, I finish cleaning up the kitchen. I know I should take advantage of being off today and do some cleaning, but I just can't resist the thought of cuddling up with Edward for a while and relaxing. We cuddle all the time, but this will be the first time with no tubes in his chest that I need to be careful of. We've both been waiting so long for this day—it seems unreal that it's finally here.
I round the corner into the bedroom and nearly laugh out loud at what I see. For the first time I've ever seen, Edward is lying on his side. He's facing me, his legs curled up but not quite in the fetal position. And there, nestled in the hollow created by his body, is Sebastian. One of Edward's hands is resting on his back as if he fell asleep while petting him, and as I step closer, I can hear Sebastian purring, even in sleep. They look so adorable—there's no way I can risk disturbing them. But tonight, Sebastian, this man is all mine! I leave them to their nap and head back toward the living room.
A few hours later, I startle as Edward's arms envelope me from behind, but I relax immediately as his lips find my neck. I put down my sink-scrubbing sponge and turn in his arms, pressing my cheek against his chest. He's sleepy-warm—soft and cuddly as he brushes his cheek against the top of my head, and I sigh in contentment.
"I thought you'd come lie down with me," he says, his voice husky from sleep as the sound reverberates against my cheek.
"Are you kidding? And disturb the mutual lovefest you and Sebastian were having?" Edward frowns down at me, but I'm quick to reassure him. "Hey, I did come back to lie down with you, but you two looked so adorable, I couldn't bear to disturb you. Sebastian helped you through a lot—like Jasper said, I feel like I owe him."
"He was there for me when I really needed him, but so were you," he says, kissing the top of my head. "And you were there for the very worst parts, and I like cuddling you better."
I smile as his affection washes over me—a wave of comforting warmth. "Well, Sebastian got his time for today. For the rest of the day, you're mine."
Edward's eyes sparkle as he grins at me. "I'm always yours."
"Don't tell me, tell him," I answer, poking a finger at the vibrating gray stole wrapped around Edward's feet.
"And I thought you two got along—"
"We do," I answer, leaning down to scratch behind Sebastian's ears. "When we're not in competition."
Edward just shakes his head, smirking as he walks back to the bedroom to get dressed. Sebastian follows on his heels, his chin in the air.
That cat and I need to have a little talk.
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We change and leave for the restaurant, and Edward is … distracted. He's not upset exactly … just lost in his own thoughts. He smiles at me when I put a hand on his knee as I drive, so I let it go. If it's big enough, I'll hear about it eventually, and if it's not, then I don't need to know.
I smile at Edward as we sit down at our table, but he's not looking at me. His eyes are darting everywhere—down to the table, meticulously set with dishes I didn't wash, across the room as a woman's laughter rings out, over to my other side as a glass clinks. His hands are in his lap below the table, but I just know some part of him is in restless motion.
He jumps as I reach my hand toward him. "Sweetheart, are you nervous?"
The corner of his mouth turns up in a sheepish half-smile as his eyes finally find me. "Yeah … a little. I've been isolated for so long—this is going to take some getting used to."
It's been seven months since he's been out in public, and the restaurant is noisy and more crowded than I expected. Of course, he's a little overwhelmed—I would be too after that much time in quiet and stillness. "I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't think about how much this would be at once. We can go home if you want to."
"No, I … I just need to settle down and get used to the sounds of life again," he says, threading his fingers into the short hair on the back of his head. "I want to do this with you. I'm ready."
"I think you're ready too," I tell him, smiling and squeezing his other hand. "Your cell counts are even higher than we expected at this point, and I know how much you want to start living your life again."
"Well, I kind of already am, with you," he replies, flashing a smile that melts my heart. "But it's time we start living our lives together, outside of the apartment."
I grin and nod, and Edward's shoulders relax a bit. He starts looking around more with interest than fear, and I feel my own tension begin to ebb. He can do this. We can do it together.
It takes a few minutes, but as he answers my questions about what he's been painting this week, he slowly begins to unwind. The noise and stimulation seem to bother him less and less, and by the time our meal arrives, it's as if the last seven months never happened. The only indication that it did is in what he's having for dinner. He couldn't order his favorite Rigatoni Bolognese—although he can eat most things again, the acid and spices in the sauce would be too much for his still-healing stomach—so he's opted for a delicious-looking butternut squash risotto. But there's no difference at all in the sound he makes when he takes his first bite. As he groans in food-gasm ecstasy, I clench my thighs together and try not to whimper, my mind racing with thoughts of when I'll hear that sound again and what I might be doing to him when he makes it.
And so begins the fire in my belly. It starts as glowing embers—stolen glances at him as I eat my cannelloni, watching his strong, make-my-stomach-twinge-when-it-flexes jaw as he chews his food. What would that stubble feel like against my inner thigh? Argh, I need to stop that right now because that's the one thing we're still restricted from doing—the risk of infection from him putting his mouth on me is still too great. But that thought evaporates as Edward offers me a bite of his risotto, his mischievous green eyes taking me back to that very first piece of popcorn. As I take his fork into my mouth, I slide my tongue under it just as I did his finger that day, imagining it's something else entirely, my tongue and lips caressing and gently sucking. Edward swallows hard, shifting in his seat. If he wasn't hard already then he's on his way there now.
He pulls his fork back slowly, and I run my tongue over my lower lip, feeling the imprint of the tines still there and thinking about the smooth, velvety feel of the head of Edward's cock.
"Jesus, Bella," he swears breathily, shifting again, and this time I'm pretty sure it's for friction. This is gonna get out of control quickly, and I don't even know if he wants this tonight, considering it's just the very first day he's been cleared and he had hardware removed from his chest this morning. I take a deep breath and try to tamp the fire down, but the smoldering ache in my belly stubbornly remains.
To Edward, I offer a sweet smile, and his answering grin is … confused. But we still have half our meal to eat, so I return my attention to my food. Or, at least, I try to. I last a whole two minutes before my eyes are on him again, mesmerized by his casual grace and the delightful normalness of having a meal out together. He pauses with his fork midway to his mouth and flashes me that panty-combusting grin he's recently developed. Oh, my God, are we done with dinner yet? I think for what feels like the hundredth time as my belly twinges and bursts into lustful, crackling flame.
Does he smell something burning? He must because he puts his fork down, his dinner forgotten, his emerald eyes raking over me and stoking the flames.
"You know, technically, this is our first date," Edward purrs as he slides closer to me, bringing my hand to his mouth and gently kissing a line from my knuckle to my wrist. "This is exactly how I wanted it to be. I'm sorry it's taken me so long."
He's being romantic again, but I can also hear the regret and wistfulness in his voice. And I don't want to hear that, now or ever.
I shrug my shoulders. "First dates are overrated. Both people are so nervous, and they usually don't know how they feel about each other—you don't really get to enjoy it. I like that we fell in love first. Now, I can really enjoy the wining and dining."
He chuckles. "Is that what this is? Well, I can do the dining, but the wine is definitely out, at least for me."
"Smart ass. You know what I mean," I tell him, rubbing my hand up and down his arm. Electricity zaps through my fingertips as I touch him, and I can feel my cheeks and ears getting warm as I lazily stroke.
He closes his eyes and breathes out heavily, and when he opens them, the emerald has darkened to midnight green. "Do you know what I do like about this being our first date?"
I shake my head, lost in the intensity of his gaze.
He leans in close, taking my earlobe in his mouth and sucking seductively as I draw in a rapid breath. "Since I'm already in love with you, this can go much further than a first date with me usually would," he says huskily.
Oh my. Does he mean… I pull back to look into his eyes, and I know instantly that he does. He really wants tonight to be more than just our first date. Much more. "Are … are you sure?"
He nods slowly. "I've never been surer of anything in my life. I've waited so long to show you how much I love you. I can't wait anymore."
My eyes widen, and my heart threatens to jump out of my chest as he brushes his lips against mine. Check, please.
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I manage to settle the bill without jumping him, but the minute we close the car doors, it feels as if the air is electrified around us. He's watching me. As I maneuver out of the parking deck, I can feel the heat of his gaze, and my hand has crept onto his thigh before I realize I gave it permission.
He puts his hand on top of mine, but I'm not interested in that kind of affection. I start to rub slow circles, and he sighs, but he draws in a sharp breath as I inch closer to my target with every languid stroke. He gasps when I finally make contact, exhaling with a delicious groan as I slide my hand firmly up and down his length. It's only three blocks to the apartment, but by the time I pull in, Edward's a panting, writhing mess, and my panties aren't in any better shape.
The minute I put the car in park, his hands are in my hair, pulling my lips to his and devouring me. My clit begins to pulse as he deepens the kiss, but just before he thrusts his tongue into my mouth he pulls back. "No, not in the car," he whispers, his eyes dark with desire.
"No," I agree, still breathless, and before I know it, he's opening the door and ushering me out. His hands are all over me as we walk—one buried at the nape of my neck and the other around my waist, his fingers rubbing gently, keeping the current flowing between us. I walk in front of him into the elevator, and as I turn around, he hits the button for the fourth floor without even looking, his gaze boring into me.
"Elevator's fine, though," he almost growls, grabbing my face between his hands and pressing me against the back wall. He plunges his tongue into my mouth, greedily claiming me as my hands curl around his shoulders, pulling him closer. We both moan as he grinds against me—his erection pressing hard and hot in just the right—
"Ahem!"
Edward jumps back from me as if I'm on fire, but when I open my eyes, I see that he's the one who's on fire—I've never seen him blush such a deep shade of red.
"Mrs. Cope, I was just …"
"Making out with your girlfriend in the elevator?" she supplies helpfully as I clap my hand over my mouth, trying not to explode with laughter.
"Well, yeah," Edward admits, stuffing his hands into his pockets like an overgrown teenager.
She puts her hand on his shoulder affectionately. "Relax, sugar; I'm happy to see you feel well enough to be doing that. Sebastian doing okay?"
"Yeah, he's fine. Happy to be home."
"Obviously, so are you," she observes with a grin and a wink, and this time, I do laugh out loud as Edward turns an impossibly deeper shade of red.
"You must be Bella, but we'll have to get better acquainted later. I'm sure you two have things to do," she says as she comes into the elevator with us.
Edward opens his mouth then closes it like a fish out of water, his eyes impossibly wide, and I just burst into giggles again. He seems to be frozen, so I tug on his sleeve, pulling him out behind me.
"Nice meeting you, Mrs. Cope. I'm sure we'll see each other again soon," I call, and she grins and waves as the doors close between us.
Edward finally exhales with a whoosh. "Fuck!" he exclaims, one hand clutching the back of his neck, his cheeks still flaming.
I giggle again, shaking my head in disbelief. I've never seen Edward look so … guilty. "You should see your face right now," I say, covering my mouth with my hand.
"Jesus, that was like getting caught in the backseat of my car by my mom!"
"This has happened to you before?"
"No … well, maybe," he stammers, blushing again and making me wonder if it's possible to die from boyfriend cuteness overload.
"Come on, Romeo. We do have things to do," I tell him, smirking.
Edward grabs my hand and strolls down the hall with me, but as we approach our door, the heat begins to build between us again. He squeezes my hand before he lets go to unlock the door, and I rub my fingers together, the warmth and lingering charge like sparks to the still-glowing embers deep inside me.
The minute he shuts the door behind us, my desire comes roaring back, a blaze in the pit of my stomach. I want Edward naked and moaning his pleasure, writhing and out of control … now.
I crash my lips to his, one hand winding up along the side of his neck and into his soft new hair as the other presses his erection between us and slides down. Edward gasps against my mouth and throws himself into the kiss, moaning deeply as I press and squeeze. But it's not enough, and I bring my other hand down, my lips never leaving his as I fumble blindly with the button and zipper. His cock springs free as I pull his boxers down, and I fill my hands with smooth velvet hardness.
"Ohhhh," he groans, and my belly twinges and flips, my kisses more insistent as I back him toward the couch. His calves hit the front, and I push him down gently, breaking our kiss but keeping my hands on him and landing on the floor between his knees. Before he really knows what's happened, I've taken him into my mouth, and he throws his head back against the cushion and cries out in pleasure.
"Fuck, Bella," he mumbles, his breath coming in pants as I lave my tongue around and over the soft head. He hisses as I take him all the way in, his hands gripping the cushion on either side of him, trying not to thrust into my mouth. The thought makes me smirk as I come back up, hollowing my cheeks with delicious suction that makes Edward gasp and tense like a bowstring. Damn, he's so responsive! Edward's passion and vitality extends to every part of his life, and his enthusiasm for sex is no exception.
I start a slow rhythm, up and down, as the room fills with the sound of Edward's pants and soft moans. He thrashes his head back and forth, unable to keep his hips still, and I'm all heat—in my chest from the satisfaction of giving him pleasure and in my center from what the sounds of his pleasure are doing to me.
"Ohhhh, God," he whimpers, his leg muscles tensing, and I swear I almost come as his cock hardens even further in my mouth. "Stop."
The exhaled word is barely a whisper, but it brings me up short, and I release him from my mouth immediately. "Did I hurt you?"
Edward shakes his head, his eyes scrunched tightly closed, a grimace on his face, but it doesn't seem to be from pain.
I chuckle softly. "You're trying not to come, aren't you?"
He nods as he opens his eyes. "You're entirely too good at that."
"But I want you to come," I whine, puffing out my lower lip in a pout.
"I wanna come too, but not that way. Well … not tonight, anyway," he says, his brilliant green eyes dancing with mischief. "Tonight, I have other plans, but remind me that I want to get back to that, repeatedly, and particularly when we're cleared to go all the way."
I snort and shake my head. "I seriously doubt I'll need to remind you. I have a feeling what I just did made it into the 'memorable' category."
"And you'd be right," he says with a smirk, his breathing finally returning to normal. "But tonight, I want to worship you."
His words crawl down my spine with a delicious tingle, and I can't help the blush that colors my cheeks as he sits up and lets me pull him to his feet.
"Will you let me worship you, Bella?" His voice is deep and husky, dripping with eagerness and lust, and I just melt. I nod my head numbly as he takes my hand, and I'm amazed my knees don't give out as he leads me to our bedroom.
He takes me to the foot of the bed, stepping back from me and raking his eyes from my chest down to my feet and back up again, my skin seeming to heat and tingle under the intensity of his gaze.
"So beautiful," he murmurs appreciatively, his eyes finally locking with mine. "Have I told you that tonight? How beautiful you look?"
"No," I answer, cracking a smile as his brow furrows. "Sweetheart, you've told me at least a dozen times."
"Not nearly enough," he says as he steps back into me, caressing my cheek with the backs of his fingers.
I lean into the touch, closing my eyes as heat flows from his fingertips to color my cheeks, creeping down onto my chest as I flush from the outside inward. Suddenly, he cups my face with both hands as his tongue invades my mouth, his excitement stirring my own and causing the flames to ignite again in my belly. My hands slide into his hair of their own accord, and he groans as I press against his scalp, pulling him closer.
His own hands have started to wander, sliding down to play idly over my collarbone as he continues to explore my mouth, his tongue twisting and tangling with mine. They journey down my sides, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake and landing at my waist, squeezing gently.
"I love this dress," he purrs, fisting the smooth fabric of my little black dress. "But right now I'd love to see it on the floor." He pulls and I barely have enough time to untangle my fingers from his hair and lift my arms before the fabric is passing in front of my eyes on the way to its new resting place—anywhere but here.
Edward inhales sharply and lets out a low whistle as his gaze returns to me, and I blush fiercely. But when he meets my eyes and I see the lust burning there, I know the matching black lace panties and bra were totally worth it. I smirk as he tries to close the distance between us, but I stop him with a gentle hand on his chest.
"Oh, no. I want to feel you too. Please?" I ask, cocking my head to the side.
He huffs out a breath, but he allows me to slowly unbutton his shirt and push it off his shoulders, my hands sliding down his arms and making him shiver. His chest is completely bare except for the bandage over his central line site, and I lean in and press a kiss over his heart, not wanting to disturb the other side. I think he gets the idea of where I wanted it, though. His smile is sweet and tender as he watches me, but it morphs into something else as I caress his abs, the muscles tightening under my fingers as I bring my hands to rest on the button of his dress pants.
His breathing is heavy as I unbutton them and they drop to the floor, but he stops my hand before I can soothe where he's aching for me. "Not yet," he whispers breathily, and he steps close, trapping his erection between us and pressing his hard chest against mine. My nipples harden, and we both moan; we've never done this before. I've touched him a million times, but we've never held each other skin on skin like this. He was always so careful of his central line, and we both knew we couldn't go any further, so we had a silent understanding to keep enough distance, and clothing, between us that we could endure the wait. But now, oh now, nothing stands between us, and I press my cheek against him, feeling his heartbeat under my ear as I slide my arms around him, holding on tightly and glorying in the incredible closeness and intimacy of this moment.
"I love you," he murmurs, kissing the top of my head, but he doesn't stop there. He kisses a line down the side of my face and my thighs clench as he reaches that spot right behind my ear. "Ohhhh," I groan as goosebumps shoot down my leg, and my head lolls to the side, offering my neck up to him. He licks and sucks, his hands caressing my shoulders, and suddenly, I'm on my back on the bed and he's straddling me, kissing and licking every inch of skin and setting it on fire.
"Oh, Edward …" I throw my head back and just try to breathe, shivers rolling through me despite the searing heat of his lips. He reaches my shoulders and kisses a line beside the strap of my bra, and we both moan as he cups my other breast in his hand, flicking his finger over the black satin until my nipple peaks underneath.
"Please …" I arch my back as he slides his hand under me, releasing the strap with a flick of his fingers. I cry out as he pulls my nipple into his mouth, rolling his tongue over the tip then sucking just enough that—oh, fuck, that feels good! "Ahhh!" I writhe underneath him, arching even further and thrusting my nipple into his eager mouth. I roll my hips, and he groans deeply, his hot breath tightening my nipple even further as the sound makes my belly twinge hard in pleasure. Yes.
I roll against him again, but he slides down further, lapping and sucking his way down my stomach as his fingers continue their sweet torture of my nipples. Oh, fuck, I'm gonna come before he even touches me down there. I slide my thighs together, and I can feel the slickness as I move, trying to get some friction for my pulsing clit against something—anything! The heat and pressure are suddenly gone, and I gasp, my eyes flying open. But Edward hasn't left. He's on his knees beside me, sliding my panties down over my legs and staring at my sex as if he's about to devour me.
"No," I pant, and he stops and shakes his head, looking at me in bewilderment. "You can't. Not yet."
He growls in frustration, and even though I'm aching for him to taste me, I pull him back up to my lips, throwing everything I'm feeling into a searing kiss. Tongues tangle and teeth clash, but I break away in a gasp as his finger caresses my slit from back to front and stops at my aching nub. He begins to rub in a gentle circle, and I arch against him, my breath coming in pants of sweet ecstasy as my walls tighten. "Oh, God, more! Please, Edward!" And he presses a little harder, circles a little faster, and I cry out again as he thrusts a finger deep inside.
My orgasm is beginning to build, my whole center tingling and tightening, as Edward's lips at my neck drive me wild, and I fly headlong toward my release.
"Come, Bella," he breathes against my neck, and I explode, pulsing against his fingers and rocking as wave after wave of pleasure overwhelms me. My throat feels raw as I gasp for breath; I think it's from crying out as I came.
"Whoa," Edward says, his fingertips exploring my cheek. "That was—"
"Incredible," I finish for him, smiling and still panting.
"I've wanted to do that for so long." He's lying beside me, stretched out and glorious on his side, head resting on his arm as he watches me. The love in his eyes melts my heart, and I reach for him, cupping his cheek.
"And I've wanted you to," I tell him, finally calm enough to pay attention to something other than myself.
I trail my fingers down over his neck and collarbone, and he shivers and tenses as I brush them over his abs. "You really are beautiful, you know."
Edward ducks his head and blushes, but he raises his eyes to mine almost immediately, brimming with intensity. "You've always made me feel that way. Do you know that? You made me feel whole, even when I wasn't. It's as if you gave me a part of yourself to complete me, when I no longer had enough pieces to complete myself. I needed you so much, and I still do. I always will."
My heart swells to bursting, and I gasp, unable to breathe, unable to do anything but marvel at the gentle perfection of the man I love as tears stream down my face. "I need you too, so much." I throw my arms around him and pull him close, reveling in the moment. Then his still-hard cock bumps my hip, and I remember why I was stroking my way down his body in the first place.
"I think you need me right now, actually," I say, grinning salaciously as I slide my hand over his erection and curl my fingers under his balls.
"Aunnngh," he groans, his eyes rolling back in his head, and even though I just had the orgasm of a lifetime, the sound rolls deliciously over all my girl parts and brings them to rapt attention.
He flexes his hips, jutting forward into my hand, and I'm rewarded with an erotic guttural moan as I tighten my grip. But it's not enough—I want to feel him, so I lift his boxers down and away, and he arches off the bed so I can slide them down his legs. He rolls toward me, but my hand is on him again immediately, craving those fantastic sounds of pleasure he makes that set my world on fire.
I start a slow rhythm, my fingers curled in a tight circle, sliding up and down over his length, turning and squeezing at the tip. He freezes and throws his head back, exposing his neck—his Adam's apple bobbing with a hard swallow and begging me to taste it.
"Oh, gaah," he pants between hard breaths as I lick and suck on his neck, my arousal mounting with every hum, whimper, and gasp. His arousal is painted on my fingers, my speed increasing as we both become slick with the pre-cum dripping from his tip. I slide down one more time to massage his balls.
"Bella, stop! Sta—" He's completely out of breath, and for a moment, I worry we've gone too far somehow, but then his piercing green eyes meet mine, almost ferocious in their intensity. "I want to make love to you. Now. Please."
I nod, panting right back at him, my eyes not leaving his, caught like a mouse before a cobra. A sexy, beguiling, drop-dead gorgeous green-eyed cobra who's about to redefine my existence. He rolls on his back toward the nightstand, pulling a condom out of the drawer and rolling it on himself with unsteady fingers. And then he kneels between my legs, arms braced on either side of me, hovering.
The world is reduced to his eyes as I stare so deeply into their green depths, and memories flood through me: the lazy, morphine-laden first smile he gave me that turned my world on end; our first gentle kiss, eyes closed and oh so tentative; his whispered "I love you," clinging to life because he wanted to be with me.
No words are spoken, but the wetness in the corners of his eyes matches my own as I reach down and gently guide him toward my entrance. He pushes halfway in and his eyes close, his face frozen in a soft gasp, then he pulls back and slowly slides all the way home, buried deep inside of me.
It's perfection.
Pure, unadulterated perfection.
We just stare at each other for a moment, and I start to close my eyes to savor the moment. "No, Bella. Look right here." His whisper is deep and sexy, his eyes boring into me with so much love that I'm overwhelmed, and I forget to breathe. He pulls back slowly then pushes in again, groaning softly, and my breath escapes in a whoosh.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm … perfect," I stammer, still lost in the heat of his gaze.
"Me too." His smile is brilliant as he starts a slow rhythm, his eyes never leaving mine, and I swear I can hear his very thoughts with every gentle thrust.
I love you.
I need you.
You're everything.
I'm home.
I'm whole.
Or maybe those are my thoughts, my words, because his smile grows ever wider as he loves me. The only sounds are our soft pants and the gentle creak of the bed as Edward moves, the only light the reflected gleam of the lamp off the sheen of sweat on his skin. I wonder if we've stumbled into forever—because I surely wouldn't mind—until his eyes flutter closed and he picks up his pace just a bit.
"Ooohhh." He voices his pleasure, suddenly lost in his own world, and my clit begins to pulse as I watch him approach his orgasm. His breathing is rapid and uneven, his thrusts giving way to deep moans and whimpers, each caressing my sex and driving me toward my own climax.
"Bella," he pants, and the thought that he's close sends shivers down my spine and my fingers flying to my clit. I want to come with him. I press and rub as his thrusts become erratic, his soft cries urgent, and I spiral out of control ahead of him. He gasps as my walls tighten, thrusting twice more before he freezes, groaning each intense pulse of his release until he collapses against my chest. He winces as he makes contact, forgetting about the still-tender wound on his chest, and rolls us to our sides, still within me. And then he cuddles just as close as he can, peppering my neck with kisses, although they're soft and languid.
"I love you so much," he murmurs against my neck, and I smile for what feels like the thousandth time today. My God, what a truly spectacular time we've had.
"I love you too. So much," I say, nuzzling my forehead against him, but I feel his nose wrinkle against me.
"Are you all right?"
"I'm perfect," he responds, echoing my own words and also taking me back to another day when he was cuddled on my shoulder, but this one is infinitely better.
"But?"
I feel his smile against my neck. "But my chest is sore, and I'm … tired."
"I'm tired too," I tell him, and he smiles gratefully as I resist the urge to fuss over him. "Why don't you attend to matters while I grab you some pain meds, and we'll meet back here for a proper, no-tubes-involved cuddle?"
"That sounds fantastic," he says, kissing my nose as he slides out of me and heads for the bathroom.
A short while later, we're snuggled up in the dark, him spooning behind me with his arm wrapped around me and our legs entangled.
"God, what a day," he mutters into my shoulder as he runs his lips over my bare skin.
"Was it a good one?"
"Best day I've ever had." A few seconds later, he sighs softly, and I know he's dropped off to sleep.
"Best day I've ever had too," I voice to the darkness, burrowing deeper into the warmth of his embrace.
A/N: Was it everything you hoped it would be? I hope so! You do NOT want to miss Saturday's teaser for Chapter 55. It's a visual and it's … well, you'll have to let me know what you think. So if you're not in my group, Shadow Fics, on Facebook, now's the time to join! Pictures in Shadow Fics today, and Chapter 55 will post on Monday.
Nominations are being taken for the Twi Fic Fandom Awards until Saturday, so stop by and nominate your favorite stories, if you haven't done so yet!
Music for Chapter 55: Love Don't Die by The Fray. Hmm … why would I choose a song that sounds like this? The link can be found in the Come Back Tomorrow playlist on YouTube and in Shadow Fics.
