Chapter 49

Clark had been in surgery with Sonny for an hour and he said Sonny you have the most gorgeous and the healthiest liver I have ever saw in my life you have really been taking great care of yourself and that is a great sign. You must eat allot of healthy food.

Sonny laughed and said you can thank Will for that he is the chef of the house. To be honest with you Clark he asks me to do very few things around the house. Clark Will keeps the house spotless and very organized but he never gets bent out shape if I make a mess he just says will my little baby made a boo boo and tells me to leave it and he has it cleaned up before I can do anything.

Clark I do not know how he can be so gentle and so selfless he is so easy going and calm. He has rubbed off on me and he has taught me so much but he never takes credit for anything he just says it is no big deal and life is way too short to treat the people you love respect and when you love someone you are going to make sure that they are safe and always feel loved and respected.

Clark the more he goes through the more protective of me that he gets and I do not know if it is because he is trying to make sure that I just never have to suffer the pain that he has gone through.

Clark he is constantly telling me that he would die to protect me and to keep me safe and Clark I am positive that he really would.

Clark to be honest with you sometimes I feel as if he doesn't trust me enough to allow me to do the same for him.

Sonny I want you to know that Dad has told me how you net and everything that you two have gone through on a personal level and I feel like it is not that he does not trust you but that he is so fiercely protective of you because when you first met he felt your deep pain down in your soul and Sonny you have saved his life more times than you even know because in some ways he was broken himself and you made him whole and he feels like if he ever lost you then he would be completely broken and his heart would be as broken as you felt the day that you met. Sonny I also feel like there has something that has happened in his life before he met you that completely just changed him emotionally and he is trying to never allow whatever it was to ever happen to you because he could not control that but he would die himself before you go through the pain and the guilt that he felt from that.

Oh my God! Clark I think I know exactly what it was.

Something did happen in his life that completely effected him

and I just now realize just how deeply it really has effected him.

It was something that was absolutely and completely out of his

control but he feels like now if he doesn't do everything and anything in his power he can to protect me at all cost that perhaps

something like that could happen to me.

That was what he was feeling in my soul as well as his the day we met. Damn it! Clark why did I not realize that it is not that he doesn't trust me but that he isn't going to take the chance of anything like that happening to me?

Sonny some times we do not realize how deeply a tragic event that makes us feel guilty and we tend to blame ourselves even if we know that the event was not our fault we will make damned sure that nothing ever like that happens to someone who we love so deeply that it is just an automatic reaction and it just melds itself into how we treat the ones that we love so deeply and have such a strong bond in every single aspect. Sonny it is not you but it is just an automatic

reaction because of the bond that you share so try to be understanding of the root cause that causes his actions.

He loves you so much that he feels like if he does not do everything in his power to keep you safe that whatever it was that just melded him and it is just a part of who he is. It is not because he thinks that you are weak and that he does not think for a second that you are incapable of doing the same for him it is because he takes your place to prevent the same outcome that he had to face. Did he have any kind of support or did he have to deal with it all on his own?

Clark he dealt with it all on his own so I guess that is why he just jumps into action to protect me.

Sonny you answered all of your own questions. Sonny there is no treatment for that kind of thing either you just have to be very understanding because he really can not help it. That event melded within his natural reaction and you just have to really understand that. He knows your waiting to protect him in the same way and Sonny I think that you know that you have proven that you would gyve your life to protect him had it not been for you he would have no chance now and that you did everything that you could before to protect him keep him safe and save his life. Never forget everything that you have for him also. So he knows that he is safe with you.

Sonny how are you doing? Are you OK or feel like you are having trouble breathing?

No Clark you are doing great. I am just physically not with it at all but I know why that is. I mean you can't exactly do this surgery with me awake. What are they doing with Will right now?

He is snoozing away waiting for his procedure.

Sonny that man has so much strength with in him that unless something happens and physically he can't fight that he is going to

really give all of this a hell of a run for its money.

Hey baby how are you doing?

Angel I was getting a little worried about you I have not heard from you in a while and I had no idea how things are going.

Is everything OK Angel?

Babe we do have something to talk about but it has nothing to do with this and we will talk about that later. Now getting down to the surgery Clark said that I had the healthiest liver that he had ever saw in his whole career. Babe your cooking is definitely the reason why my liver is so sexy just like you. Babe I love you so much and I hope that you really understand that I would die myself before I would ever sit back and do nothing when I most certainly can do something that would save you or protect you. Babe I hope that you always feel safe and protected as long as I live.

Angel I know and I think that this is proof as well as before.

I think that we both feel the same way even though physically I myself have intentionally put my own life on the line and my body has gone through hell and back but you are the one who has saved my life in more ways than one.

Honey before I told you how much I love you I was literally killing myself and you saved me from killing myself because you have never given up on me even when I had.

I was at my lowest low and you kept on showing me your love.

Angel if I am over protective I will not apologize for that because that I just can not help doing. I guess that what happened to my friend in Italy just caused me to realize the when you have the bond that we have no matter what the cost is to me no one will ever harm you in any way at all and Angel I will set your mind at ease I feel so safe and so loved and treasured that when I go to bed at night and we are in each others arms that I am so safe and loved and your arms are my sanctuary where the rest of the world just melts away.