"Lost Cause" (Rose)
Merlin barricades the door again. "He's not going to survive out there," Morgana relays.
"I know," he says mutedly.
"We've got to do something!" she says seriously.
Merlin's eyes bore into her, and he breathes deeply, "I know."
They work to remove the blanket from under the King and spread it out on the spot he was a moment ago. I find my body inclining ever closer to the floor.
"Here," Merlin tosses his end of the blanket to Morgana, "You tear this up. I'll make some rope." She nods and rips the material as requested. I force myself up and attempt to lend a hand. I start working at the opposite end while Merlin pops open the vial of hemlock and pours it into the canteen. I try to act as normal as I can as he turns around. "Here," he holds it out to her, "Have some water." I swallow hard, fumbling with the fabric in my fingers.
She shakes her head, "I'm not thirsty."
He stays resilient, "If we get out of here, you may not get another chance to drink."
"IF we get out of here," she emphasizes.
"We will, Morgana," I speak weakly, Arthur yelling outside the door. Merlin rises to his feet and gives her the water, leaving it in her care. She sets it to the side, nothing more. He walks back over and picks it up, faking a drink with his back to her. It is so evident that the guilt and pressure is weighing down on him.
"Here," he tries once more.
"I'm fine," she is adamant.
"No, you have some before I finish it," he recommends gently.
She exhales with a feeble smile, giving in. "Thank you," she says.
I can hardly breathe as she tips the canteen back, ingesting the poisoned liquid. It won't be long now ... Dizziness overcomes me as she lets out a cough. Her breathing becomes jagged and arduous. Merlin remains turned around, not even able to stand watching. I keep my gaze downward, the room beginning to spin. He faces her as her gasping increases in volume. He takes hold of her, trying to get her to lay back, but she resists, fighting him as best as she can. When the effect grows in strength, she grabs the shoulder of his jacket. She leans back into his arms, against his chest, looking incredibly frightened. Tears are flowing from Merlin's blue eyes as he maintains resolve as much as he is capable at present.
I start caving myself, emotionally and physically. I am a lost cause, and so is she. I gradually crumple to the ground, straining for consciousness when one of the doors to the entrance flies off its hinges. The sorceress, Morgause, appears and rushes to Morgana, pulling her away from Merlin. "What has he done to you?" she asks the fading woman.
Merlin exhales, wavering, "I had to."
She examines her briefly, "You poisoned her."
"He had to," I reiterate faintly and try to get up. I do not make much progress.
Merlin stands, staring down at her, "You gave me no choice."
"Tell me what you used and I can save her," Morgause pleads.
"First," Merlin takes command, "Stop the attack."
She is aghast. "You're nothing but a simple servant! You don't tell me what to do."
"If you want to know what poison it is, you will undo the magic that drives the Knights," he refuses to back down.
"Tell me the poison or you'll die," she threatens.
"Then she'll die with me," he asserts.
She holds a wide-eyed glare at him, and then holds Morgana closer, touching their foreheads together.
"I don't want this any more than you," he assures, "But you give me no choice. Stop the Knights, and you can save her."
She surrenders her position tearfully and speaks an incantation with great power. The clanging of swords ceases, and Merlin administers the bottle of hemlock. She secures her fingers around it, and Arthur charges into the room. I feel the life returning to me, and I wobbly rise to my feet. "What have you done with my father?" he demands, angling his weapon at the witch.
"He's safe!" guarantees Merlin, and just in time, Uther stirs, groaning a little as he pushes himself off the floor.
"Morgana!" Arthur calls.
"Keep away from her!" Morgause raises a protective hand, then brings it back to Morgana, and utters a new spell. A whirlwind surrounds the two of them, and they vanish along with it. I gasp as we all take in what occurred, looking upward to where the sight evaporated. Merlin and I exchange a sorrowful, understanding glance. This shouldn't have happened ...
"Guilt" (Merlin)
I can't even think of eating come dinnertime. I push my stew around with my spoon. There is dead silence until Gaius says, "You did the right thing."
I meet his eyes warily, "You don't mean that," to which he does not reply. "Morgana was your friend, too. You cared about her."
"I did," he agrees. "But I fear that unlike you, Morgana chose not to use her gift for good ... You had no choice."
"This was not your fault," Rose jumps in, supporting his words.
"Would we be sitting here now if you had not made that decision?" he furthers his point.
"Come on, Merlin," she nudges me lightly, "You know we're right."
I think on this, and they are correct, but something still doesn't feel right. I stand, leaving my spot at the table.
"Where are you going?" Gaius questions.
"I'll eat that later," I gesture to my bowl.
"Merlin?" he calls.
I am tenacious. "There's something I have to do." I enter my room, closing the door behind me, and pull out the sword I stole from the Knights of Medhir as the dragon instructed from underneath my bed. I have to do this and do it now, before I lose my nerve.
