A/N: Not as long as my usual chapters but for some reason the Internet has been spotty tonight so I'm uploading this now before I lose connection again. Also, the furnace in our apartment has temporarily failed. The Heat is on and the thermostat is set for 74, but it hasn't gotten above 64. It's cold man. *shivers*
Chapter summary: In which Allura and her father have a heart-to-heart and Keithek gets a live test of Pidge's new targeting system, whether he likes it or not.
54: Chalcedony - honesty, alleviates regret
"I just don't understand," Allura said, pulling her legs closer to herself and leaning back on one hand. "He has so much potential, but he just won't acknowledge it. It's like he absolutely refuses to do anything that will help him advance."
"Unless he doesn't want to be noticed in that way," Alfor said, tilting his head to catch his daughter's eyes. "Not everyone enjoys the spotlight, Allura. You tended to gravitate towards that position because it was in your nature. Lance was never one for the interplanetary stage. He preferred to focus his time and energy on Altea. That is not something to be ashamed of."
"I know but if he's capable of so much more, why doesn't he at least try?" Allura demanded. She plucked one of the illusionary juniberry flowers and held it as a comforting gesture. "She should have at least attempted to be a Master Ascender, but he never did. He could have been incredibly powerful if he'd just put his pride aside long enough to see the big picture."
The former king gazed at his daughter sadly. "Was it pride?" he asked. "Or was it something else? Did you ever ask him?"
"It's easy to be a Master Pilot," Allura argued. "There hadn't been a Master Ascender in well over a dozen periods."
"True enough," Alfor agreed. "But if Lance did give in to the pressure begun studying to be a Master Ascender, it would have been unlikely that I would have had the chance to make him your Sentinel."
Allura sat up suddenly. "What?" she gasped. "What do you mean?"
"Had Lance chosen to be a Master Ascender," her father said, "then I would have been forced to give Lauma the title of Sentinel and Lance would have attended the festival that night and died with the others."
The princess blanched and looked down at the flower in her hand. "I didn't…" she whispered. "That's not what I mean."
"I know, Allura," Alfor said gently, "and more importantly, so does Lance."
"He was there, Father," Allura said, bowing her head to hide her gaze. "He said he was there when Mo-Mother died."
The former king's eyes sparkled with unshed tears. "Yes," he murmured. "Coran told me."
"Why didn't he tell me?" Allura asked. "Coran and Lance never lied to me before."
"Because Lance asked him not to," her father said simply. "Your brother broke tradition by attending the festival early. He shouldn't have been there. You know the punishment for breaking tradition like he did."
"Allura hunched in on herself. "Yes," she murmured. "But wouldn't that be overlooked considering wh- what happened?"
"Yes," Alfor said, "and it was. He wasn't punished and his presence there was dismissed."
"By Coran," Allura said.
Alfor nodded. "By him and by me," he said. "I couldn't act fast enough to save my wife," he said, covering his face with his hand. "I wasn't going to let Lance face a similar situation if I could avoid it." He lowered his hand and his daughter saw tears trickling down her father's cheeks. "It feels like losing a part of yourself you never knew was there. Altea hadn't known war for so long that the Sentinels had become lax in our handling of the Heir's protection."
"But," Allura said hesitantly, "you were-"
"Just as guilty as my predecessors," Alfor said. "Had I taken my duty as seriously as I should have, then I would have been there with Lakshmi that night."
"But the Lions needed to be looked after," the princess insisted, scooting closer to her father's memory.
"But that could have waited," her father said gently but firmly. "It should have waited. But I made a decision and dealt with the consequences of my actions."
Allura pressed her lips together, keeping her argument from escaping her mouth. No matter what she said, she wouldn't change her father's mind so she held her silence.
"I had ordered Lance to wait for me at the Collegium," Alfor said. "But he snuck out to the festival to be with Alwida. She had asked Lance to accompany her as her companion before I handed my title over to him. He was keeping his promise to her and it very nearly cost him his life."
Allura blew the delicate petals from the juniberry flower in her hand so their broke free and fluttered away. "He… He accused me of keeping my feelings bottled away because I'm barren," she whispered.
"Ah," her father said, nodding. "Now we reach the heart of the matter. Were his words true, daughter?"
Allura flushed. "I- Partially, yes," she admitted. "But I also do not wish to start a relationship that has very little chance of surviving this war."
"You brother has," Alfor said gently and Allura dropped her gaze.
"He wasn't exactly given a choice in the matter," the princess said. "You know that."
"I do," the former king acknowledged. "But I also know that something has grown from that relationship that is strong enough to convince Lance to lie with his mate. That isn't something to be looked down on."
"I don't look down on it," Allura said shaking her head. "I just wish he wouldn't allow himself to be hurt just because he thinks he's supposed to die."
"He thinks what?" Alfor asked curiously.
"Lance believes he's supposed to die for me," Allura said. "He thinks he's expendable. He isn't. I can't lose him, father. I can't," she said fiercely. "He's my brother. He's the only family I have left. I love him. I just want what's best for him. I don't want to settle for something less just because he thinks its not worth it or that he doesn't deserve it or that he'll die before he can reach it or whatever excuse his mind keeps coming up with to explain his behavior."
Alfor sighed. "I suppose That will never something you and Lance ever agreed on," he said. "It's unlikely you will ever change his mind. People don't change like that, Allura. That is a life lesson that will always remain true."
"Be that as it may, it still isn't right," Allura insisted.
"Who are you to declare what is and is not right for him?" her father asked. "What may be right for you may not be right for another person. No one person is the same as another. That is both a blessing and a curse."
The princess's shoulders drooped. "I know that," she said softly. "I do know that, Father. But I just…" She sighed. "I only want the best for him. He's my brother. Seeing him refuse to be all that he can be, it… It isn't right."
"No," Alfor admitted. "No, perhaps you're right. But he is happy as he is, is that not so?"
Allura hesitated, lifting her gaze to her father's. "To be honest," she said, "I'm not sure anymore."
"What do you mean?" her father asked, settling into a more comfortable position on the holographic grass.
"Had you asked me that before the Great War, I would have agreed with you," Allura explained. "But now I… I am no longer sure. I'm not sure of many things anymore. It seems like the only familiarity I can find is here in this place," she gazed out at the field that existed in this room and her memory alone. "I no longer recognize the universe I live in anymore. I feel as if I have fallen into an abyss of reality that is so tangled in a nightmarish dream that I can no longer differentiate between them."
The former king of Altea bowed his head in silence.
"I don't blame you for what you did, Father," Allura said, reaching out to touch his semi-solid form. "Truly, I don't."
"You may not, but I do," the king said reluctantly. "I made a decision. Perhaps it was not the best decision, but it was the only option I saw as viable at the time."
"You wanted us to live," Allura said, smiling. "That cannot be faulted."
"No," Alfor agreed. "But my methods perhaps could be. Not a day went by that I did not gaze at your sleeping faces and dream of hearing your voices fill the Castle halls once more. It was too quiet. I often caught myself speaking nonsense just to fill the silence with noise."
The princess shuddered. "Father?" she asked.
"Yes daughter?"
"Do you…" she hesitated, chewing her lip nervously. "Do you think someone will miss us when we're gone? When this war is over and we die or we die before we win, do you think anyone will miss the Altean race?"
The former king grimaced. "I would hope so," he said. "But I don't think we'll know that until it's too late for us to know anything. Although," he added with a quirk of his lips, "perhaps this person you are interested in would miss you." His daughter had the grace to blush and Alfor's smile widened. "Tell me about this person."
"He… His name is Shiro," Allura said. "He's the black paladin." She winced when she saw the tightening around her father's eyes. "The other paladins call him 'Space Dad,'" she said to break her father from his dark thoughts.
It worked. Alfor laughed merrily at the nickname. "Space Dad?" he repeated. "That sounds wonderful."
Allura smiled and began regaling her father with stories of one Takashi Shirogane.
"How much longer?" Keithed demanded.
"I need to be careful with the calibration, here," Pidge said through the arena's loudspeaker. "You don't want to accidentally get hit, do you?"
"Why do I think you'd enjoy that?" Keithek muttered.
"Because I would," the green paladin said snickering. "But I doubt you would and I don't know about you, but I'm not necessarily in the mood to listen to another lecture from Space Dad."
That…was true. Keithek slipped back into another defensive crouch and held his bayard sword at the ready. "Start training sequence level three," he commanded the A.I. controlling the arena.
A tick later, a computerized gladiator dropped from the ceiling and landed on the ground a span in front of Keithek. It stood and began advancing towards him. He activated his shield with his free arm and counted to three before leaping forward with his sword raised.
The sound of metal clashing against metal rang in his ears and he grinned. This level was a bit of a challenge and Keithek didn't particularly like fighting inanimate objects. They didn't have eyes that gave hints of future movements, muscles that twitched revealing a faint, the loud battle cries of living warriors. The Altean gladiators were silent and cold which made them difficult to read. Keithek could sometimes catch the faintest hint of a rhythm to the gladiator's attacks before it changed things up again leaving Keithek to start his calculations all over again.
At least fighting the gladiator gave him a break from small, swift robots with agile maneuvering ability and shots that stung when they hit. He was getting the hang of Pidge's Earth based targeting system, but he thought it was better suited for a three-dimensional space with open space above and below him. As it was, Keithek had a floor beneath him that prevented him from utilizing that part of the targeting system. But it was apparently mirrored by the area above him just below.
His distracted thoughts cost him a hit that tossed him back so he landed hard on his back. He rolled to absorb the impact and got to his feet, huffing from the force of the blow. He stood and felt his leg ache. Frustrated but not willing to injure himself during something as insignificant as a practice duel, Keithek bit back his pride and surrendered.
"End program," he commanded.
The gladiator began advancing towards him once more. Maybe Pige hadn't heard him.
"End program," Keithek repeated louder.
Now the gladiator was running full speed at him.
"Pidge, end program now!" Keithek cried, raising his bayard blade just in time to deflect a downwards slash that made him buckle under the force. "Pidge!" he shouted.
The gladiator kicked him in the gut and knocked Keithek's bayard from his grip. It clattered to the floor a half span away from him, too far for him to reach. He dropped to his knees to avoid another slash that would have easily cut him in two and scrambled across the floor to his weapon. The gladiator's metal feet thundered across the arena as it gave chase.
Keithek grabbed his bayard but not soon enough to avoid a heavy metal boot to the head. Stunned, he landed hard but forced himself to roll, narrowly avoiding another strike. He heard the whistle of the air as the gladiator's blade swung past his ear. This wasn't a practice duel, he realized. This was serious.
He quickly got to his feet and instantly wobbled, stars bursting across his vision. The blow to his head must have been harder than he thought. He groaned and shook his head, immediately regretting the move when his balance wavered.
"Keith!" Pidge shouted over the speaker. "Twelve o'clock and thirty-fivedegrees up."
Keithek obediently raised his bayard blade to the green paladin's specified direction and brace for impact. The strike was just as hard as the previous blows, but this time Keithek had been ready. He rode the force of the impact backwards before translating it something he could use. He pushed up against the gladiator, knocking it back and slashed from left to right. A ringing clang echoed in the arena indicating he'd made a glancing blow.
"Two and twenty down," Pidge said.
Keithek activated his shield and held it so it blocked the direction his friend indicated. His shoulder tensed, ready for the gladiator's strike. The moment the gladiator struck his shield, Pidge shouted.
"Two and thirty down."
Keithek stabbed forward with his bayard at thirty degrees downwards and felt the gratifying feeling of his blade striking flesh, or whatever the gladiators were made of. He saw the explosion of sparks when the gladiator was defeated and stood up, tossing a glare at the control room where he knew Pidge was. His vision was returning but it the bright light was beginning to hurt his eyes more than it had been before.
"What the frell, Pidge!" he demanded furiously.
"That wasn't me, I swear," Pidge shouted back. She sounded just as distressed as Keithek probably looked. "I have no idea what happened but I swear I didn't do anything."
"Right," the re paladin growled, his ears flattening against his head. "And you just so happened to use your new targeting technique right then. It was just a coincidence."
"I'm telling you, that wasn't me," Pidge said, leaning against the control room's windows overlooking the arena below where Keithek stood. Rover hovered by her shoulder flashing excitedly. "You know we weren't working with the gladiators yet, just the firing drones. This is a program designed for dealing with aerial attacks from above or below, not land-based attacks in hand-to-hand combat."
He huffed but nodded reluctantly. "Whatever," he grumbled, eyeing the empty arena suspiciously. "If it wasn't you, then what was it?"
"No idea," the green paladin said. "I'm running a diagnostic right now to figure that out. It wasn't anything I did, that's for sure."
Keithek deactivated his bayard and began walking to the door.
"Hey," Pidge called. "Where're you doing?"
"I'm calling it," Keithek said. "I'm going to get some food. This Castle obviously has a few glitches that Coran will have to look at. I'll send him over when I get to the kitchen."
"You're just being lazy," Pidge grumbled. "It wasn't that big of a deal."
"That robot just tried to kill me," Keithek snapped. "I'd say that's a big deal."
"You're probably overreacting. You did say to start training at level three," Pidge said, her voice in the speaker sounding like she was distracted by something. "Maybe it interpreted that to mean Level Three Gladiator and not Level Three Target Drone."
"Either way, it still tried to kill me," the halfbreed said. "Look Pidge, this has just been a long day so I'm going to get food. You can come with me or stay here. I'm still going."
"Lazy bones," the green paladin muttered just loud enough for Keithek to hear before the door to the arena slid shut behind him.
Keithek ran a hand through his hair and grimaced when he felt the greasy strands. Lance would probably complain about it if Keithek didn't wash it soon. Oh well. He was sweaty anyway. Might as well take a shower after sending Coran in to help Pidge figure out whatever happened in the training arena and getting a bite to eat.
