53

That night they climbed into bed and Jack turned to face Ianto, finding him already clutching the long since scent faded pillow Rhia had made him.

"Hey" he said softly, seeing Ianto's upset had not dissipated.

"Hey" came a muffled reply as Ianto peered at him.

"I'm sorry. It's your play money, we agreed it would be for anything you wanted. I just … I guess I still get bristly when it's Lisa. I know it's silly but she had you first and it will always feel like I'm competing" Jack sighed.

"Oh Cariad. There is no competition, no comparison. I loved her gently, and almost fatherly, when I think about it." Ianto sighed, "With you … it's fierce, hard and wanton. I'm the needy one, the one seeking comfort and protection. I never thought I could be so needy and …. Well, emotional."

"Really?" Jack raised an eyebrow.

"We never argued" Ianto rolled onto his back, "We disagreed but I always gave in, grinding my teeth."

"I was always trying to make it right as well, always walking on egg shells so she would feel in control, especially after Melly was born" Jack rubbed his face.

"We both thought we were happy living like that, both still hold them so close to our hearts" Ianto marveled, "Yet, look at us. Truly blessed in a way they could never achieve."

"I'm sorry" Jack repeated as he reached for his husband, finding the tented PJs welcoming and he kissed Ianto while sliding his hand beneath the elastic.

"Oh, ahhhhhhhhhh, my love" Ianto whined bucking as he was gently prepared.

"Lube" Jack whispered and Ianto fumbled in the nightstand drawer, finally thrusting it at Jack with soft pants of need.

Jack was soon pushing in, holding Ianto tightly as they lay, just breathing as they joined and became one entity in the dark.

"Cariad, please" Ianto whispered, shuddering as Jack obliged.

Jack made a soft growling noise as he snapped his hips, driving deeper as his fingers slid around those bodacious arse cheeks to lift them for a better angle.

Ianto smiled as he relaxed, letting Jack move him more, ignoring the bite in his lower back that still plagued him occasionally.

"Jack" Ianto gasped as he felt his toes start to curl and Jack grunted, his growls switching to moans as he drove deeper into the pleasurable dance.

Ianto came first, crying out as he convulsed and Jack swore as he followed, making the bed shake with the strength of his thrusts.

Then he fell to one side, gasping for air as Ianto reached shakily for wipes.

"God, that was intense" Ianto gasped.

"Yeah. God." Jack swallowed, "I needed that."

"We both did!" Ianto laughed softly, "We've been so busy with the kids and the whole moving business."

"If it means something to you, if you get something out of caring for this lost soul I wouldn't mind, honestly" Jack admitted, "Maybe it was the old jealousy thing. You are spread so thin these days."

"Oh Jack" Ianto sighed, rolling into his arms, "I'm sorry. I have been preoccupied. It's just the babies and … I'm sorry. You know you come first, right? You and the boys? Everything else is gravy."

"Rich, crazy gravy" Jack agreed with a soft huff of laughter.

They settled to sleep and Jack held Ianto tight, still regretting the argument when they had come so far with their counseling.

He vowed to own up to it at their next appointment, he knew he was wrong to react without looking from things from Ianto's side of view and wanted Ianto to understand that he felt badly.

As Ianto snuffled in his arms Jack finally relaxed and drifted off to sleep.

Feeling better.