DISCLAIMER : I DO NOT OWN UTA NO PRINCE SAMA IN ANYWAY SHAPE OR FORM
Yuina wasn't sure how to take the news Tokiya had just told her. It almost sounded too weird to be true. She noticed Tokiya had his first pressed against his forehead while his face looked so sad and hurt.
"Sir, sir, are you alright?! Please don't let this get the better of you!" She said trying to comfort him.
"No, no I'm fine," Tokiya said, brushing her off. "To b honest, I've been wanting to get this off my chest for a long time." Yuina nodded in understanding.
"Just don't feel like you have to push yourself to do it sir," she said.
"I think they said Rui's room is this way," Otoya said as he led his friends among the maze of hallways.
"I hope Rui-Chan is okay. I'd hate to see her suffering," said Natsuki.
"I bet this has something to do with her dad. He probalby did something stupid after we all left for what happened with that song," said Syo.
"Now, now let's not be like that," said Ren, "we're also here to help make peace remember?"
"Shh," Masato suddenly hissed, "do you hear him?"
The men all looked around the corner to see Tokiya and Yuina talking about something to do with a song and Haruka's death.
"What are they doing?" Syo asked.
"Shh," said Masato, "let's just listen. This maybe our chance to learn what happened to Haruka."
"Sir, are you sure you want to do this?" Yuina asked.
"You might as well know," said Tokiya.
It had started out as a rather grim day for me as it was. The president of our record label had called me into the recording studio early to try a song by this random new composer. However, it didn't seem to really click with me. So, everyone decided to call it quits and I headed home.
I remember coming home to a surprisingly quite house. Until I heard something coming from our music room. There I found Haruka there, working at the piano.
"Hey, what are you up to ?" I remember asking her, unintentionally scaring her.
"What are you doing home so early?" she asked.
"The recording session wasn't going well, so we canceled it early," I told her, as I walked over to her behind her, "where are the kids?"
"Oh Natsuki wanted to take them out for the day. Don't worry, Syo's with them," Haruka told me.
"So, we're all alone?" I said out loud, realizing that for the first time in a long time. Haruka and I had some alone time. I kind of decided to take advantage of that, as most men might.
"Oh god, please tell me we don't have to listen to this!" Syo complained.
"I'm sure he's going somewhere with this, just be quite," Ren said.
I still remember the warmth of her skin when I tried kissing her neck and the way she giggled at my touch. I also remember her moaning my name, and slightly protesting, "Tokiya, not now."
"We have the house all to ourselves for the first time, and I technically have some time off. Why shouldn't?" I said back.
She actually giggled a little and I remember trying to pull her closer to me when I, for some reason opened my eyes and saw it. The start of the score she had been working on when I came home. It looked so nice that I forgot about what I was trying to do and instead put all my interest into that score.
"Is this what you were working on just now?"
"Uh, yes," Haruka said, "it just sort of came to me. Just the opening for now, I haven't had a chance to really work on it."
I picked it up to look at it closer.
"This is good, really good," I said.
"You think so?" Haruka asked.
"Yes, in fact I think it could be an improvement to the song I was trying to work on earlier. That is, if I have your permission?" I asked.
"You want to try adding this to your other song?" Haruka asked.
"If you are alright with it," I told her.
"Well, okay, let's go to the studio and try it," Haruka said, as she gathered up the sheet music and we left the house together.
We took off in our car, nothing special at first, until, until...
"Sir?" Yuina asked when she noticed he had stopped talking, "sir, please don't...," Tokiya however looked like he wanted to finish what he wanted to say.
Until Haruka started to sing some of her song.
I remember hearing her voice humming, and it sounded so nice. I couldn't help myself, I couldn't seem to stop. I, I turned to look at her, singing. I took my eyes off the road, just for a moment, a small moment.
If only I hadn't, if only I had managed to stay focused on the road, I would have seen the other car speeding towards me. I barely heard the horn honking before I managed to steer the car out of the way.
I must have turned the car too sharp and turn fast that it caused the car to flip over, a few time and crash.
The last thing I remember before showing up at the hospital was Haruka calling my name.
"That's what killed her, my distraction over that song!" Tokiya said mad clenching his fists.
Yuina didn't know how to respond at first.
Neither did the guys listening off to the side.
"It's my fault, it's because of me and that melody my wife is dead!" Tokiya kept going on, "that's why come to hate music so much. That's why I don't want to see that song finished!"
He was distracted by his thoughts anger and grief by the sound of crying. He looked over and realized Yuina was the one crying.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered between tears, "I'm so sorry!"
"Um, I appreciate the sympathy," said Tokiya, "but it's not like it's your fault...,"
"No, I'm sorry about letting that song get finished!" Yuina said, still crying, "I wish I never found that song! I wish I never let your friends find out about that song and then try to finish it! God, now I feel much worse!"
"Me too!" Natsuki sputtered, as he tried fighting his tears.
"Keep it together man, come on!" Syo muttered.
"Please don't," Tokiya said, trying to get Yuina to calm down. "It's not like you would have any idea what was so segnific about that song."
"But still, you shouldn't have live with that guilt!" Yuina said. "I, if you want, to never have that thing finished! In fact, I'd understand if you'd want the whole thing destroyed!"
"No!" Tokiya suddenly snapped, making Yuina stop crying temporary. "I mean, I can't have it destroyed either." Tokiya gave off another sigh. "The day I came home from the hospital after the accident, I found a few things they had managed to salvage from the wreck had been delivered to my house. And of course, among the items was the folder holding Haruka's score.
I nearly tore it up there and then. However, when I saw her initials on the corner of the sheet. When I saw it, I just couldn't find it myself to destroy it. I felt like if I destroy it, I'd be killing her all over again. She had wanted to hear me sing it after all. That's why I lock it up, hoping I could just forget about it together and maybe move on with my life."
"That was until I ruined everything by finding it," said Yuina softly.
"Please stop playing the guilt trip game," Tokiya muttered.
"Sorry," Yuina said. "If it means anything I can understand why you have to live with this burden. I mean, I often feel guilt over my heart transplant."
"What?" Tokiya asked.
"When I was needing my heart transplant and even after it, I felt a lot of guilt over the idea that in order to get a new heart, to live, someone would have to die to make it happen," Yuina explained softly. "I wasn't sure if I wanted to go on with life. I kept thinking I should just let it go and after I got the transplant, I didn't feel like I had the right to live a happy life."
"So what stopped you?" Tokiya asked.
"What?" Yuina said confused.
"You obviously didn't let the guilt take over you too badly seeing as how you managed to put yourself out there and get this job. So obvious, the guilt didn't manage to take too much of toll on you. So what stopped this so called guilt?" Tokiya asked.
"I don't know," Yuina admitted, "I guess I just had to either learn to live with it or live my life forever in misery. I'd be putting my life to waist and the life of the person who gave me their heart."
"Are you saying I'm putting my life to waist and Haruka's life to waist by just letting this song just sit there?" Tokiya asked.
"You could say that," Yuina said, "but then again, I'm not you and I can't begin to understand what it's like for you. But to hear it causes you that much pain, I think you got to do what you got to do."
Tokiya took a deep breath.
"Heck, for all I know, maybe I'm the one that's wrong with all of this. Maybe I'm being greedy and selfish for moving on so soon after having gone through such a thing," Yuina said.
She was slightly surprised by a hand suddenly grabbing her arm. She looked up and realized Tokiya's face was right in front of her.
"No, you shouldn't think that," Tokiya said seriously, "you should be allowed to be happy with your life, even if someone did have to die for it. Don't let me ever hear you saying anything like that again."
"Uh yes sir," said Yuina, "so what does this mean for you?"
"I don't know, but you have given me something to think about," said Tokiya.
