[a/n] Now Bugs gets into the act.

Harry Does Different Zz

Eat Slugs

"How dare you talk to me? Filthy little Mudblood?" Draco Malfoy sneered.

Hermione looked shocked. Offended. Worse, hurt.

"You'll pay for that, Malfoy!" yelled Ron. The redhead whipped out his wand and yelled "Eat Slugs!"

The Slytherins laughed as a flash engulfed the Gryffindor "Was that even a spell?"

Harry yelled something. A green flash flew from Harry's wand and splashed on Draco's chest. Everyone gasped. The Slytherins all ran in terror. Draco stood there, in shock.

"Potter! Come with me. At Once!" Professor Snape snarled "Any attempt to go for a wand will result in summary punishment. Granger, Weasley, did I include you? I might suggest you pack your classmate's belongings, as he will likely be departing these hallowed halls."

A shocked Ron paused, gaped at Hermione. It was enough to lose them in the corridors.

"Expulsion is the ONLY option Headmaster." Snape was demanding.

Nor, in this case, was Professor McGonagall on his side "I must agree this time, Headmaster. With the extremity of this situation, why aren't you bringing in Aurors?"

"Severus, be reasonable." Said Dumbledore. "And Minerva, honestly, I thought you would support Harry.

The boy tried put in "Excuse m—"

"Shut up, Potter." Snape ordered harshly.

Harry tried several more times to interrupt, but was cut off each time by the professors.

"You may go to dinner, Harry" said Dumbledore "I will require your wand for the time being."

Harry complied, walked out the door, hiding a smirk. Though he did feel somehow naked without his wand. Walking to the Great Hall, many students bolted out of his way. Ones senior to him. They were scared. No, they were terrified. He didn't quite know what he'd done beyond throwing a bogus spell at his nemesis.

"Harry! What happened?" Hermione grabbed him and pulled him aside.

Ron, for once, wasn't hungry, having spit out 352 slugs over the last 2 hours.

"Dunno 'Mione." He replied with a negligent shrug "Tossed a phony spell at Malfoy. Now everyone looks at me like I committed a crime. Even took my wand."

Ron gaped at his friend "What could you have done?"

"Let's just ride this out for laughs." Harry grinned.

Hermione looked concerned. Ron was pleased to be in on a prank.

At about the same time, Draco Malfoy came swooning in with Pansy Parkinson fawning over him. "Even better than Potter, now." He crowed "Took a killing curse and I don't have that ugly scar, either."

"Killing Curse?" the trio questioned each other "Was there such a thing?"

The boys badly imitated their friend "Goto the library!"

"No, Potter, you're not getting your way this time." Snape was right behind his Snakes "I will see you dealt with properly. Aurors do your duty."

Harry fled the pair. Ran the length of the Great Hall and back again. Finding the whole situation amusing. Students ducked under tables, laid on benches. Started screaming in panic. It ended with an "Inarcerous!"

But that was enough time for the higher ups to arrive "Gryffindor will show dignity and decorum!" Professor McGonagall yelled.

"Severus, it was not really necessary to call Aurors. After all, no one is dead." Dumbledore came in.

Draco was delighted with his new status in Slytherin. They'd all seen him unaffected by a dark curse. He could practically crown himself as lead Slytherin. Not even a Seventh Year could stand against that.

"When did this school become a circus?" Amelia Bones entered on the warpath "And surely two fully trained Aurors can handle a boy. Well? Explain? Just plain sloppy."

Susan Bones stood up and waved "Hi Auntie!"

"Sue." She spared her niece a dry, professional greeting, which meant Talk to me later I'm working.

Dumbledore greeted her calmly "Welcome Amelia. Not every day we are honored by the head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement."

"Quite enough Albus!" she snapped "And why can I not get information direct form you? Honestly? Attempted murder! What are you doing in this school?"

Susan scoffed at that "Anyone with half a brain knows Harry couldn't commit murder."

"What about First Year?" asked Ernie MacMillan "Quirrell?"

Amelia approached the bound boy "Harry Potter, by authority of the Ministry of Magic, you are under arrest. The charge, use of the Killing Curse against a human."

"You're kidding right?" he asked.

She toyed with her monocle, a spell brought him to his feet and she demanded "Do I look, Mr. Potter, like a woman who has time for kidding? Now, do you understand what I have said?"

"You're accusing me? Of using a killing curse?" Harry was incredulous "ME? Oh, by the way, on who?"

Snape offered "Draco Malfoy. You insufferable brat."

"He's right over there." Harry could only use his chin to point in the general direction. "Looks ok to me. If I used a Killing Curse how come he's still standing? Explain that you insufferable greaseball."

Draco strutting around with a whole group of courtiers declared himself The-Boy-Who-Beat-The-Boy-Who-Lived.

"Someone will explain." Madam Bones demanded.

Harry asked "Can i? And without all the ropes, please?"

"Why don't you tell me your side, Mr. Potter?" said Madam Bones. It wasn't really a request. "Then we'll see about the ropes."

Harry just accepted, "guess the joke's on me. Ok. I got the idea from a Bugs Bunny cartoon. Bugs Bunny? No? Sheezh! Muggleborns help! Great episode, Bugs is on vacation. Stops at an inn run by a vampire. He's totally clueless. The vampire, of course, wants his blood. He leads Bugs to a room to stay the night. He keeps saying Hocus Pocus to turn into a person. Bugs hums a tune adding Abra Cadabra to every line. Funniest thing I ever heard. The vampire keeps falling when Bugs sings because he changes back. Wonder what would've happened if I said Hocus Cadabra or Abra Capocus." He laughed wildly.

"Harry, it is entirely inappropriate to insult a professor. You will apol-" Dumbledore was in lecture mode.

Harry cut him off, shouts echoing through the whole hall "NO! FUCK HIM! AND FUCK YOU TOO!"

"Albus, we will worry about your pet Death Eater's petty ego later." Bones sneered. She loathed the man "For right now, let us deal with this issue. And I promise a MOST RIGOROUS investigation. And he had best hope I do not find any evidence of a false reporting."

Hermione raised her hand for attention and begged "Please, miss, I think I can explain better than Harry. There is, in the muggle world, a child's character named Bugs Bunny. He walks and talks and gets into various adventures, usually with assorted bullies who pick on him, until he gets angry enough to fight back. Sort of like Harry. The words Harry used when he pointed his wand at Malfoy were Abra Cadabra."

Everyone who knew the curse flinched. Muggleborns, on hearing both Harry and Hermione talk, had mostly thoughtful expressions.

"Honestly! People!" Hermione exclaimed, exasperated, she held up both her hands "Look no wand. The words of the Killing Curse are Avada Kedavra. Harry SAID Abra Cadabra. I guess they're connected somehow, because they are so similar in sound."

Slowly, pockets of amusement began to form. Smiles became giggles that melded into full-blown laughter across the Hall. Bones considered while the Hall was thundering with laughter. A prank. A harmless one, compounded by a cultural misunderstanding "Case dismissed, I think." And she banished the ropes around Harry's body "This, admittedly, leaves me nothing to really hang on your Death Eater. Headmaster, with your permission, and Professor Sprout of course, join my niece for a while. Be careful in the future, Harry Potter, you are on my radar now."

"shit" Harry muttered, faintly.

She subtly winked as she turned toward the Hufflepuff table.

"Budge over Granger." Fred ordered.

George came in from the other side, just bumped Ron out of the way, threw an arm around Harry and asked, pointedly "Muscling in on our territory, Potter?"

"Nothing wrong with a bit of fun." Harry retorted, giddily "Especially involving Malfoy. And, sorry, I just got the evil eye from the Head of Law Enforcement. You two don't rate up."

The twins looked at each other. Jaws dropped. Grinned at each other, then at Harry. "So you decide to fake curse Draco? And manage to drag in the Headmaster? And pull one over on Madam Bones, no less?" they summed up.

"Pretty much." Replied Harry with a broad grin "And you forgot about really embarrassing Draco. Though, I must admit, I can't take all the credit. I had help. Thank you Warner Bros."

The blonde Slytherin looked disconsolate as most of his House abandoned their former hero.

Fred nodded while George stroked a beard that was not there and sagely commented "True. The victim makes the best prankster."

"You are so lucky, Harry." Hermione scolded.

Professor McGonagall came up at that moment, harsh and stern, said "Quite, Miss Granger. Mr. Potter, I expect you in my office in one quarter of an hour."

"Yes Ma'am." Muttered Harry.