A/N: Hello again. Nice to be back!

For those of you who don't know, the anniversary of Heroes Grace was on July 8th. I really wanted to have this out by then, but not only did I run out of time coming up to the date, right after it passed I had to deal with more complications from my college and that affected me quite badly. If you'd like to know more about that, visit the profile update I'll be posting after this!

Its officially been 4 years of this story, and we are heading into the last stretch of it. I know I've left you guys hanging for almost a year, so I think it's time to rectify that. Thank you to everyone for sending me their sympathies and encouragement over the last year, it's been really amazing and comforting in one of the hardest times of my life. I hope this chapter will mark the occasion of me finally getting back on track with the things I love and moving on from this dark and difficult chapter of my life that I've been stuck on for so long.

Without further ado. Happy reading!

Standard disclaimers apply.


Chapter 54: Sunless Skies

Paul

One thing about myself that I've always hated? As much as I try not to, I can't stop analyzing my mistakes.

I'm not sure how long I sat there, unmoving on the floor of my dorm room. The neatly scrawled message (or should I say, threat?) continued staring back at me as the dull light around the room faded for the day. I went over every choice- every decision I'd made from the moment I chose to apply to this school last summer up until now. Scouring through my memories, I looked for the one moment I could have changed; the one step I could have made down a different path to avoid this outcome. I wondered if there even was anything that I could have done to avoid this.

Stubbornness told me there must have been some precaution I could have taken- something I could have seized control of to keep this from happening.

And yet I did not fight what came next, nor could I if I had tried. Just as the last traces of sunlight vanished beneath the twilight, any denial I felt followed it into the ether. My fear of the inevitable carved out its old home bellow my heart, and a familiar hopelessness settled in the pit of my stomach.

Of course, there was nothing I could have done. Like clockwork, it was simply time once more. The Braviary had come again to eat out my liver as I laid bound in bloody chains; powerless.

For however-long I sat there, I was not disturbed, which came with both relief and disappointment. By now I'd grown fairly accustomed to my roommate's checking's-in as he'd taken it upon himself to infringe upon my life in the interest of making sure I wasn't dead. But I did not hear another sound from Drew, or anyone else for the remainder of the day. I assumed it was because they were all presently preoccupied with their own dilemmas. That, or I was too out of it to bother tracking down my phone to check, from wherever it had ended up before the paralysis set in.

In truth, I didn't know if I was relieved or not for the solitude. Should anyone have come to find me in the state I was in, I wasn't sure if I'd be able to stop every detail of my despair from spilling out of me and into the minds of whoever was present to absorb it. For now, I didn't have to.

Slowly, like crawling across a mile of nails, I pulled myself up from the floor and onto the bed, sprawling horizontally across the mattress. As if moving at a measured pace would make the action hurt less. But everything hurt, each muscle contracting in protest as if there were nothing but glass shards beneath my skin that cut deeper with every strain I made.

I closed my eyes, fully clothed and on top of the blanket, and pleaded for my mind to shut off. All I could do for now was hope that sleep would take me before I completely fell apart.

But any rest I received that night was short-lived and frequently interrupted by sharp awakenings. My guard refused to lower, and my dreams betrayed me with fragments of old nightmares clawing out of their graves inside my memory. Sleep abandoned me altogether well before dawn, so I just stared at the back of my eyelids while my brain attempted to drown itself in my shattered pieces.

It seemed as though my fate was designed to keep returning to tragedy. How could it not when the strings of my life were so inescapably woven into that of a monsters? It didn't matter how hard I tried to stretch them out or slash at them, or how far I could run until the threads were all but strangling me to the edge of death. They would not snap from my efforts alone. And then he'd always follow them right back to me, like a leash that kept us bound together. He'd saunter right into the wreckage of the life he'd left behind, just to drag the remnants back through his personal brand of hell. Consuming what was left of me for as long as he desired to, and leaving it more broken then it had been the last time he'd left.

What little I had could always be less. Whatever I found, he could always take away. And now, Ryu Shinji was coming back to collect what he thought was owed to him. Only this time I had so much more to lose.

I wrenched myself upwards, ignoring the objection from my stiff limbs. My eyes stung as if they'd been dipped in venom, and I realized with abject infuriation that I'd spent the last six or so hours trying to sleep with my contacts still in. Blearily I looked towards the clock where taunting numbers continued to irritate my eyes. It was only a little past five in the morning.

I pushed myself further still, stumbling to the washroom and not even bothering to close the door behind me. Without rhyme or reason, the only thing I could think to do was turn the faucet to run out ice cold water and stick my head in the sink. I didn't have to wait long before the shock of cold broke through my haze of despair.

I wished I could just shut it all off; return to the numb detachment that had kept me sane for so long. But try as I might, the feelings I'd been repressing for literal years washed over me in time with the frigid tap water. Like anesthesia, it spread until the hopelessness was all-consuming. The numbness that had once been a comfort to me, was now twisted with fear and grief, turning it from calming and strong, to bleak and dead. It was nothing more now than proof that I was so familiar with this pain that I barley registered it for very long anymore. Somehow, I knew that was worse than any breakdown.

I swore as I tried (and failed) to dislodge the plastic lenses from my eyes numerous times, eventually succeeding after who-knows-how-many attempts. The image I caught in the mirror was blurry, but disturbing all the same. Red sclera clashed with black irises above the tired purple bags beneath them. Violet hair was stuck to abnormally pale skin and dripped heavy streams of water down my face and down onto the porcelain sink. To an onlooker, they would almost look like tears.

It was official; I looked just as miserable as I felt. And I hated myself a little for it.

I grabbed the nearest towel I could reach and wrung my hair out with a force that left my temples throbbing as I returned to the main room, where all I could see was out-of-focus darkness. Only the faint glow of the clock on the nightstand illuminated what little it could in the space surrounding me.

Things weren't supposed to be this way. Being alone was where I felt the most like myself, the inside of my head the only safe haven I'd ever known, and at this ungodly hour I was supposed to be adrift in a state of blissful unconsciousness.

Yet here I was, fully awake in the early hours of the morning, wanting nothing more than to run away from the thoughts inside my head, feeling as if my solitude had become four walls that were slowly closing in on me. I had to force myself to breathe. My thoughts were all jagged razor-blades that carved my fears into the bone of my inner skull like graffiti. And for the first time that I could remember, alone was not something I wanted to be.

It was all wrong. Everything.

My eyes, fully adjusted to the dimness of the room, quickly located my forgotten black phone case. Resting on the desk where I'd left it, before my world had been threatened only yesterday. I snatched it up, my fingers automatically unlocking it and typing in numbers before my brain could catch up to the action. I quickly stopped, and noticed in shock the way my fingers shook even while I tried to hold them still. Carefully, I sunk back down onto the bed, staring down at the auto-predicted contact that has come up on the screen between my trembling hands.

The usual arguments and defiant remarks flooded back and I felt temporarily relieved of my terror. Stubborn, arrogant thoughts from a person I wasn't even sure was really me anymore, whispering under the thundering rhythm of blood in my ears that I should just stay quiet. That I could go it alone. That no one else had to get involved because I could handle any and all situations by myself, on my own merit. Just like I always had before.

But this time is not the same as the others. I'm not the same.

I was only a kid when I learned how to be self-reliant. Learning how to be cold and to keep parts of myself cut off from the surface were paramount in surviving life with a man like Ryu. And learning how to pretend that the pain I felt wasn't there at all was priceless. All because I'd rather the pain destroy me than anybody else.

But the cost of learning that… meant never being able to ask for help.

But this wasn't about me. The square of film still hissed its warning from the floor of my shadowed room. This was about protecting something bigger than myself. If Ryu's threat rang true and he had every intention of coming to drag Dawn, an innocent girl whose only crime was trying to be friends with someone like me, into his sick game, then I couldn't afford to be selfish. She needed to know what kind of danger she was in. All of the people who'd offered me their hand and helped me navigate this world did. And as it was physically impossible to safeguard all of them simultaneously, the next best thing was to make it so they wouldn't get blindsided. None of them deserved to suffer for the cancer of my bloodline.

Too bad I didn't have the first clue on what to begin telling them.

And maybe, the weakest part of me admitted, I just wanted someone to tell me that it would be alright. That I wasn't alone and that I didn't have to be. That this could be fixed.

I just wanted my big brother. I wanted the one person who knew exactly what I was up against and who would still be on my side. I forced air into my lungs once more and pressed my thumb to his lone name on the screen. The dial tones in my ear seemed to ring on forever, the passing of each note marking another inch of my esophagus being slowly eaten away by my nerves.

Voicemail. Of course, I realized, pulling at a handful of tangled hair in frustration. Even for a breeder and a morning person, Reggie didn't get up until six during the work week. The message I left was brief and hurried, and held no explanation other than 'call me back ASAP', but making it did not relieve my anxiety.

Talk. Be quiet. Run. Stay. It felt like I was being pulled in a million different directions. Each voice, another version of myself, another fake me, trying to save its own skin. So many thoughts and feelings clashed together, it was hard to tell which voice, if any of them, was mine.

I continued forcing air into my lungs. In the state I was in, I didn't think I could form coherent sentences, let alone recount the last six years of my life. But I needed direction, guidance, someone to take my place as the calm one and talk me through this. Because in this one single instance, I had no idea what to do.

I didn't know how to do this…but I knew someone who'd done it before.

The next few minutes were a blur. Next thing I knew I was taking the stairs two at a time down a floor, dressed in a new shirt and not caring in the slightest about the rattling silver frames balanced on my face. My feet pounded the carpeted hallway floor until I came to stand outside the same white door I'd found myself facing the day before.

I was panting hard and my thoughts were screaming at me, but I ignored both and pounded on the ivory door. The fear could try and suffocate me all it wanted, but it wouldn't stop me. I was already here dammit, slamming my fist into a door before sunrise and possibly ready to admit everything I'd been repressing for the majority of my life, to someone I'd known for less than a year.

The voices in my head could shut the hell up already and accept defeat. There was no going back now.

The door was thrown wide, and the person standing behind it stared me down in a cross between annoyance and alarm.

"Paul?" Misty glared suspiciously at me.

It occurred to me then, that this was not an interaction I had prepared for. Though it was obvious in retrospect that this was how I'd be greeted. Misty's track clothes and running shoes were a clear indication of her usual morning routine, one that her roommate evidently didn't share.

"Hey," I responded casually, looking anything but casual if I had to guess.

The red-head's turquoise eyes traveled over me with a hardness I could only assume was her way of protecting herself from… whatever she thought this situation was. She was dealing with her own crisis after all, so it made sense that this irregular interaction would put her in a defensive mood.

"You look like shit," she stated bluntly.

"Thanks for noticing," I returned her hard stare in spades.

"Paul, what the hell are you doing here? And why are you here this early?" Misty interrogated, showing no signs of moving aside to allow my entry. She stood tall and immovable in the doorframe, like she was protecting her residence from an army of intruders.

"I have to…Where's Leaf? I need to talk to her." Even my words sounded exhausted.

"Oh," her stoic indifference diminished in light of her surprise. She hadn't been expecting that answer. "She's asleep, like the rest of the dorm at... 5:17 in the morning," she said as she checked her pokétch.

"You're not," I countered.

"I'm the only one who likes to run before class. And I'm not missing out now that I'm finally off those crutches. I was just leaving actually," Misty defended back, giving no ground.

"Let me in then, and you can leave."

Misty did not move an inch. She just kept staring at me and my damp hair, red eyes and all, while I leaned against her doorframe to keep myself upright. Her thoughts were knitting together the tangled mess that stood before her into a pattern she could understand. Unraveling me in the process.

"Is there something else?" I prodded impatiently, wishing this interaction could just continue to its conclusion.

"No, I just…" she trailed off. Finally deciding that I wasn't there to cross-examine her, she shifted her weight and deflated with a sigh. "I guess I just assumed someone was knocking on my door to chew me out for yesterday. And here shows up the last person I thought ever would, and you ironically want nothing to do with me." Misty twirled her key card between her fingers before looking back at me, her eyes penetrating past my crumbled walls once more. "Makes me think something must be really wrong."

In absence of my usual composure, my instincts defaulted to my secondary response to such a prying statement.

"Brilliant deduction," I bit out angrily, the pressure of my inner panic finally snapping. I pushed my way past her and into the room, as if I could move past this situation by brutally forcing it out of my way.

"Hey! What's your problem!?" Misty snapped back, having been pushed past too abruptly for her to try and stop me.

"Nothing." I don't have time for this, I thought. I didn't come here to get in a fight, I came here to achieve some peace of mind, in one form or another. "Worry about yourself."

"Wha-? What the hell is that supposed to mean!?" Misty asked, infuriated by the insinuation.

This isn't what I wanted to happen.

"It means what I just said. For someone who just royally screwed up their own life, you're certainly not qualified to try and fix mine," I deflected coldly.

I could see it as the words hit home. The way the colour in her eyes shrank down to pin-pricks before her whole face shifted into a snarl. The fire in Misty's eyes burned as bright and hot to match the arctic ice in mine. And I instantly felt sorry for letting my instincts speak for me.

"Oh, you wanna go there?" Misty laughed humorlessly. She closed the door with a resounding slam, trapping us together in her living room. "Fine. Let's go."

"Misty, I can't-" I began, trying to back-track, but she predictably cut me off.

"You are so full of it, Paul Shinji!" Misty went off. Her fingers were gripped into a fist around her plastic key card so tightly, I expected it to snap any second. "You have got some nerve to come in here just to tell me that I screwed up my life! And because, what!? Because I lied and kept some things to myself!? And you think that because you're so honest, that that makes you better than me!? You are such a hypocrite!

"You walk around like you are the toughest, meanest, most unfeeling badass in the whole Sinnoh region. You get by on this broody loner façade, and act like you hate the entire world, because no one could possibly understand you and your angsty-special-snowflake-self!

"Well I've got news for you!" She shook with every word, as if her heart was pumping out pure emotions throughout her body instead of blood. "Out of the two of us standing here in this room, at least I'm not pretending to be some stone-hearted jerk, just to try and hide the fact that I'm actually a nice person! And for what!? Does having friends really inconvenience you so much!? Does it ruin your image? Because I hate to break it to you, but I don't think a reclusive-tortured soul would usually go around joining bands with strangers! Or track down a heartbroken Pop Princess when all of her friends are worried sick about her! Or let a group of people he doesn't consider 'friends' drag him around all day on his birthday! And he certainly wouldn't go out in a freaking ice storm to search for an 'acquaintance', just to carry her all the way back home, up a hill, in the snow!

"And that's not even counting all the times you stood up for me! Or all the times you put aside your damn anti-social attitude to just hang out with any of us like a normal-freaking person for once!" Misty's arms whipped around in all directions, punctuating every syllable she spoke. The veins in her eyes pulsed red in time. "You know, if anyone-ANYONE were to understand what I'm going through right now, I thought I'd be you. But you're too damn proud to really care about anyone else but yourself! And I honestly can't tell if that's hubris or cowardice!"

The room was deathly silent when she finished. The fire in her glare all but burned out, and as the rise and fall of her breathing gradually slowed from ragged gasps to quiet whispers, Misty looked nothing short of shocked at the lengths her tirade had went.

I think she could see it as clearly as I felt it. A reaction where none was expected. Her accusations were like acid, dripping down my skin, curling my flesh from my bones, and eating me away down to a place deeper than my mind could fathom. Her anger hissed against the ice inside me, showing me the true depth of her pain. A pain she'd kept inside herself for a long time. A pain that never left her. A pain she called up regularly, hidden behind a temper that would never burn her down.

A pain mirrored in my expression.

I envied her a bit. For so long, I'd kept all of my anger, all that pain and sadness buried so deep that it had grown roots and taken hold of all that I was. I'd clung to it for so long that it had become me. But while I didn't know how to let it go, Misty seemed to be able to call on it anytime she wanted to. She let it fuel her, and she used it to her advantage. Never in the time I'd known her had it ever seemed like she was weighed down by a pain that looked so similar to my own.

That glimpse I'd seen in her outburst brought with it a new level of understanding. And yet I'd never felt farther apart from the rest of the world then I did right now, having all of my recently crumbled precautions thrown back in my face by someone I genuinely considered a friend.

I was angry at her. No, screw that, I was pissed. And for the first time in a very long time I allowed myself to become truly livid. I was mad at Misty and her lack of understanding, I was furious at Ryu and his constant destruction of everything I cared about, and…I was angry at myself, for giving in to the pain I'd kept down for so long.

A part of me knew it was wrong. But I was too tired to care anymore.

"Do you feel better?" I asked, a dead tone filling the empty room. Misty flinched at the sound, unnatural in its barley controlled hush.

"Because while I'm sure screaming at me has made you feel some temporary relief, I don't think it'll come as a surprise when I say… that it hasn't actually changed anything."

"Huh?" Misty stood planted in front of the door. Unmoving. Unsure if she should stay her ground or retreat somewhere this undead silence couldn't follow her.

"And, why would it?" I scoffed. "After all, you have a lifetime of evidence to the contrary. Sixteen years spent getting angry and… 'hating the world' as you so eloquently put it, doesn't look like it's gotten you very much in life. I suppose by your claims, that must be something we have in common."

The red-head jolted like she's been shocked. "No! I…I'm not-!" Misty tried to defend herself.

"But if that's true…if we really are similar in that regard, then that means you know just as well as I do how futile it all is. We can hate and rage all we want, but it doesn't actually make any difference. It's all just so pointless, but…I get it. When all is said and done, rage is the only thing we have left, isn't it? Even if all it does is destroy everything around us, at least getting angry feels better than giving up. No matter who you hurt in the process of using it."

Misty gaped at the insinuation. "That's not true!"

I saw right through her. The tremble of her taught muscles and the barely concealed trepidation in her fluttering gaze couldn't have been easier to read had they been tattooed on her ashen skin. I knew exactly where to target to leave a mark. And my aim had never been truer.

"You're a liar." The accusation rolled off my tongue, sliding into the air like smoke from a cigar. Vile and burning. "You lied to your sisters. You lied to the principal. You lied to your friends. And you're lying to yourself if you believe anything otherwise."

I was the picture of calm. The anger had burned away all the uncertainty and given me something to focus on. Inside I was seething, but my façade was nothing but calculating. Misty however looked like she was barely keeping herself together, meanwhile I finally felt like I was standing on steady ground.

"You…no! You don't get to turn this back around on me!" Misty's anger sparked weakly, but I ignored it and pressed on.

"Because at the end of the day, you know you're powerless to actually do anything to change the parts of your life that you hate. So instead you ignore them. You pretend they're not real and you rage against anyone who challenges that. All so you can maintain some tiny, imaginary scrap of control.

"But believe it or not, you are not the only one with problems right now Misty!" My voice, whereas Misty didn't hesitate to let her volume fluctuate with her temper, never strayed from its quiet tone even as it became harsher. A whisper morphed into a growl. "And I have better things to do than lecture some lost little girl who's yet to figure out the concept of curbing her ego! So, here's the cliff notes version.

"Life. Sucks. Misty. The world sucks! Family sucks! And we all do what we can with the shit hand we're dealt in life, even though none of it- not a single, horrible moment in anyone's life actually matters! Every single instant of our existence is just random catastrophes happening one after another until the day we're all dead and nothing we did, or said or were matters to anyone!

"But at least while I'm here… I'm going to do what I can. I'm not going to sit around blaming all my mistakes on other people or ignoring them because of my pride. I own who I am. I own my mistakes. So instead of being so Arceus-damn angry at anyone that offers a contradictory opinion to yours, how about you take your talk of cowardice, walk out that door and right on over to your sister's hotel, and say SORRY!"

That had her stumbling backwards. It was awful, but it was like I could see all the strings just barely holding her together and the words on my tongue were the scissors that would sever them. And as the blood in me boiled on, still sizzling from the sting of her earlier claims, I was concerned with nothing other than bringing her down as low as I felt.

"Or what?" I challenged. "Because they never apologized to you for your crappy childhood, you think you get a free pass on apologizing to them for what YOU did? Eye for an eye, and all that? Well then, I guess irresponsibility just runs in your family!"

The stillness was like waiting for a bomb to go off. Neither of us moved. The seconds just ticked by, endlessly. Silently. I'd lost count by the time the sound of a door creaking open broke the unending quiet in half.

"Misty?" a sleepy voice called out from the hallway. "Are you still… here? What's with all the noise?"

The spell broke over us as Leaf's innocent question hung in the air. And with it, all the reason's I'd come here in the first place came rushing back and I was almost brought to my knees by the realization they brought back with them.

Regret. Instant and soul-crushing.

I wished then, that she would hit me. I wouldn't have fought back, as I would have fully deserved whatever injury she sought fit to give me. But Misty just kept staring at me, the same look I probably returned as neither of us moved to respond to Leaf's call.

Hurt. Guilt. Betrayal. Dozens more feelings without names. Hundreds of words without structure. All from the look of someone I'd never even meant to talk to that morning.

"Hello? Misty?" Leaf called out again. Misty took that as her cue to leave, and though I wanted to stop her-apologize, do something that wouldn't leave us on this horribly broken note, I couldn't move a muscle as she turned away and walked out the door. Red hair and blue track clothes disappeared behind stark white plaster. Even the door closing behind her made no sound at all.

Good job, idiot. My clenched fist rose up to press against my forehead. Who even needs a convicted psychopath to come destroy your life anyway? You're doing a pretty great job all by yourself!

"Oh…hey," I looked over my shoulder when addressed directly. Leaf stood at the end of her hallway, rubbing her left eye sleepily with one hand and clutching a pillow to her person with the other. She squinted at me out of her one open eye. "Paul? What's going on?" she asked, confusion and fatigue heavy in her voice.

"I…I don't…" I was at a loss. Looking at one friend through clear lenses, all I could see was the wounded memory of her best friend's face. I didn't deserve to be here. The hollowness in my chest told me as much.

"Mm," Leaf yawned, scrunching her eyes closed. "What time is it? Misty let you in?" she asked, stepping into the room.

My teeth clenched like she'd just ground salt into an open wound.

"Yeah. Sorry I…I shouldn't be here," I made the excuse, and I could practically feel the voices slither back into their tangled nest inside my head. Guilt clamped down around my heart like a vice, even as my still-present panic screamed to be heard. "Just go back to sleep, I'll see you later."

I wanted to turn away. All it would take was three long strides and I'd be out the door, walking back towards my own floor and on my way to corralling all these unnecessary feelings into a less chaotic state. But my fear was like a beast with claws, sunk into my skin and dragging down my back. The idea of going back to that dark room to stew pained me like the bloody ribbons being carved into my spine. The fear held me in place. The fear told me to stay. All while the remnants of my old numbness and newly forged remorse gathered the pieces of my fallen walls and started rebuilding.

But…if whatever's bothering you got really bad, would you tell me? Would you tell someone?

Dawn's request echoed amidst the wreckage. I didn't even want to think about what could have gone wrong had I gone to her instead.

Sorry, Troublesome. I'm sure this isn't what you meant when you asked me that yesterday.

Though she as well was in a weary state, Leaf took advantage of my turmoil and stopped me before I could take that first step backwards.

"Wha-snja? Nahnana-no-no!" she protested sleepily, managing only gibberish. She pulled on my shoulder back towards the room. The crease between her eyes was a clear indication of her worry. "You're already here-jus…Just go sit down, I'll be right back."

She didn't let go of my arm until I was physically sitting on her couch. And though Leaf was half-asleep and not at all an intimidating person in size or personality, the look she gave me clearly said 'You better still be on this couch when I come back or else I'll hunt you down and drag you back here'. And I wholeheartedly believed that she would.

Leaf came back not five minutes later, sans pillow and wrapped in a woolly cardigan that reached down to her knees. Her eyes were alert, and she kept running her fingers through her, now dripping wet, bangs.

"Aahh, much better," Leaf brushed her bangs- her wet bangs-out of her eyes and sighed in refreshment. "Not used to being up before the sun."

My eyes became round. It was such a little detail, but the similarity… suddenly made me feel less alone. I knew logically what must have been the reasoning. Clearly, she was just tired and had splashed cold water on her face to wake herself up. But even if it didn't make sense, I'd spent last night feeling completely cut off from everyone in the world. And now in a split moment, I felt connected to someone again.

Not like Misty, who I'd seen myself reflected in when I bore witness to her pain. Connected.

I knew Leaf probably didn't even realize. But it reassured me that I'd come to the right person. We were so different in so many ways, but so very similar in so many more.

The pajama-clad brunette grabbed two bottles from her mini-fridge and placed one in front of me on her coffee table. She tucked her knees under herself as she took her seat beside me on her identical leather couch and cracked open her own bottle of, what I assumed was orange juice.

"Sorry I can't offer you coffee. Misty prefers to keep healthier stuff in our dorm and I can't really argue with that," Leaf apologized casually. But she noticed the way I flinched at the mention of her friend's name.

She lowered the bottle from her lips. "Did something happen? I thought I was just half asleep when I heard Misty talking earlier but…"

"Yeah, we-" I swallowed hard, barley recognizing the roughness of my own voice "We got in to it. Sorry I just-"

"Okay, that's the most I've ever heard you apologize in one day," she interrupted me.

There it was again. The scarily similar way she could see through people. It wasn't exactly the same way I could see what people weren't saying. Leaf was better at seeing what people were feeling. Or in this case, inferring what they were feeling from the things they said and the actions they made.

"What happened?" Leaf asked it like a question, but it felt so final. It left no room for argument. And I knew silence was not an answer that would satisfy her.

Was this it then? It didn't seem possible. Even as we sat there I could feel the walls resurrecting themselves. The fortress separating all the rampant emotions I couldn't- or didn't want to feel from the outside world. I thought I was ready when I'd come down here but after what Misty had had to endure…how could I do that to Leaf too?

But I needed to know. No matter how long it took me to get the words out, first I needed to get the advice I'd come seeking. Because this foreboding was real, and it was coming. I couldn't deny it. That would be like trying to stare down a storm when you could already smell the rain and feel the wind picking up and hear the thunder as it shook you to your bones.

"I…I need to ask you something."

I leaned forward and balanced my arms on my knees. I stared down at my hands, not really seeing them but preferring it to the feeling of Leaf's undivided attention bearing down on me from her side of the couch.

"Okay."

"When we…when we were all here, after you got lost in that storm. And you told us all about…what happened to you as a kid. How were you able to do that? You'd kept that a secret for so long. How did you know when it was time to let go of it?"

I presumed that she was surprised. She didn't respond right away

"Um…I…wow, that's a hard question to answer."

"Try."

She paused again. I listened patiently as she contemplated her response. She placed her bottle beside my untouched one on the table and sighed.

"I guess at the time, I felt like I owed you guys? Up until then, I don't think I really realized how much what I was doing effected everyone else around me. For so long I…I just wanted to forget what happened and move forward, you know? And I really believed that I was. But moving forward…and running away, although they look awfully similar, they're not the same thing at all. But not-paying-attention to how I felt was always the safer option and…habits are hard to break."

"But you did. You broke the habit," I pointed out.

"Yeah, but I didn't want to," Leaf stressed even as she smiled. "And it wasn't easy. I didn't want you guys to pity me, or think less of me. And I really didn't want to admit to myself, that what had happened still bothered me."

I felt such empathy in hearing those words. But the storm inside my own head was killing everything that lived there with every word that came. Tearing up the roots to weeds that I'd long burned down. Ripping up the things I'd planted in their place. And in the end, everything was equally all destroyed. Past and present. Things I loved and things I'd despised. All of it, dead, withered, broken amidst the raging hurricane that was my life.

"How did you know?" I repeated my question. How did you find the strength to relinquish that weight? How did you do it?

"Getting lost in an ice storm was a pretty big indicator," Leaf joked. I was about to protest again, but she stopped me "Or more specifically, seeing how all my friends ran themselves ragged trying to help me. You were all so exhausted. That was the first time I really saw how destructive I was being.

"I guess in the end…I realized it wasn't about me. It's never just about any one of us. What we do to ourselves affects everyone who cares about us. Only hurting myself is one thing but, I couldn't handle knowing that I was hurting everyone else. If that was my alternative then, no matter how hard it was, I was going to be brave and tell the truth. Even if all the things I was afraid of happening by doing that came true. You guys mattered more to me."

The resentful half of me, filled with the voices of doubt and survival, sneered. She made it sound so easy. So… simple. But I knew better than they did. I'd seen the fight first-hand that Leaf had put up to hold on to her secrets. I'd witnessed it as she'd ripped herself apart to tell us her story. And it hadn't been easy to watch. For her, it had probably been worse.

"But you didn't come here this early just to ask about that, did you?"

I didn't answer her because she already knew her inquiry was true. I was startled out of my blank stare as she put her hand on my arm and coaxed me into facing her.

"Tell me what's wrong."

I thought I could. When I'd first rushed down here, I thought it would just happen. That everything I needed to say would just come out on its own, strung together like a carefully crafted melody. But all I could hear was white noise. No words came. And my chest just got tighter with guilt the longer she stared at me, waiting for me to say something.

My mind was blank. But I couldn't just leave without saying anything! There was no doubt in my mind in Ryu's ability to make everything in my life worse than it was. I had too much proof that no matter how bad things were, and no matter how many times he came back again and again, he could always do worse the next time. And he always did. My life was a mirror and he was a sledgehammer. And when eventually there was nothing left of the pieces but powder and dust, he would continue splitting the atoms into nothingness and still not be satisfied with his carnage.

If it was only me, that was one thing. But I couldn't let that happen to them. I couldn't just do nothing!

"Something bad is going to happen. I don't know when, but I think it's soon."

It wasn't enough. Nothing could be enough to describe what he could do. But it was something.

"You're in trouble?" Leaf questioned, not letting me look away.

"Yeah. And that means…all of you are too."

Everything I cared about…could always be taken away.

I didn't want it to, but the memory came unbidden. No matter where I went, in my mind and heart and soul perhaps I would never be anywhere else but trapped on that gritty concrete road. The rain dripping from my skin, as I clawed desperately at that mangled steel door with all I had to try and get to her. I never left that place. Maybe I never would. He had made sure of that six years ago.

"And I…" I turned away from her caring eyes. I wish you didn't have to be in danger. I wish it could just be me who had to suffer. I wish I could go back and stop all of you from becoming so important to me. But I'm also more grateful then you'll ever know that you're here with me right now. And I wish I could say this all out loud, but I seem to have lost the ability to.

"Paul." Again, Leaf's green eyes found me again. And where someone else may have looked at me with pity or concern, Leaf's expression was genuine and stable. She looked surer of herself than I'd ever seen her. "I'm gonna say to you, what I wish someone would have said to me before my situation got as bad as it did.

"You… don't have to feel guilty about wanting to talk to someone," Leaf told me. "Whatever burden you think your putting on me, know that I want to help you carry it. Look at everything we've been through this past year!"

Something changed about Leaf as she spoke. It took me a moment to realize what it was. The light around her was changing from the clinical white of LED to rose red. The sun was finally rising.

"I trust you. And I'll help you anyway I can. Even if all I can do today is sit on this couch with you in silence."

"I want to…" I tried to convince her, frustrated in myself and all the things that had made me this way. "I want to say something-but…!"

But I didn't even know what was wrong with me anymore.

"It's okay. That's okay. You don't have to say anything else right this second. Just know that, when you do find the words, I'll be here to listen. And I know the others would too."

On the day Leaf had opened herself up to us, I remembered a similar scene unfolding. She's been so overcome with gratitude and relief that here, on this very couch (and against my will) Leaf had crossed all of my barriers and hugged me. And at the time, I'd let it happen. She'd needed it more than I could understand back then.

And as the longest night was ending with the morning, Leaf did it again. Her arms wrapped around my shoulders from the side, the wool of her sweater scratching around the exposed skin above my t-shirt collar. Her body folded next to mine as she rested her head where my shoulder met my neck, and my body went rigid at the unfamiliar contact.

And then, all at once, amid the warm red light and bottles of orange juice and the course textile of her sweater, I understood exactly what she'd been thinking when she'd done it the first time on that day.

Nothing could fix us. Nobody could take these feelings away for us. But we didn't have to face that reality by ourselves.

"I'm…afraid."

The admission left me as if it were my last breath. The sound of it was terrifying. Saying it had made it real.

"I know. But I'm here with you."

It seemed my body was moving of its own accord, as I watched my hand reach up to rest on her shoulder, returning her embrace. I breathed over and over again, the silence slowly chasing away all the noise from yesterday.

Nothing was okay.

But just for a moment…just for now…it was.


Misty

Perhaps the realization was a long time coming. It didn't however save my pride any damage as the insight struck me whilst in the middle of resorting to violence against inanimate objects.

"Counter, so help me Arceus, I am going to make you sparkle if it kills me!"

In what could only be described as the first sign of the oncoming apocalypse, was the fact that I was honestly looking forward to be able to go to work today. And who could blame me? After an early morning of having been burned to a figurative crisp by one Paul Shinji, then having to endure an entire day of being gawked at by the entire student body, working the closing shift in an entirely empty café in downtown Hearthome was basically a vacation where I got paid to be there.

I could try claiming that I didn't care what a couple hundred vapid teenagers thought about me or my screwed-up family, but after having to listen to judgmental whispering all day, I'm not gonna lie; it sucked. Whether their opinions held any weight or not, being followed around by quiet voices behind my back all day was driving me to the brink of insanity.

However, beating up the entire student body would be highly frowned upon, so that left me with no other option but to take all of that pent-up, furious energy, and channel it all into productivity instead of aggression. Not that anyone cared about my tremendous self-restraint. Though it did make work go by a hell of a lot quicker when you were actually looking for things to distract yourself with. And if I couldn't fight my feelings away, then I was gonna make every surface inside this freaking coffee shop the cleanest it had ever been in probably… ever!

Talking to the mill-work as if it could be intimidated though? That didn't help make me look like any less crazy.

Ah. Rock bottom was just as comfortable as the name implied.

Stupid Paul. Stupid academy trust-fund babies. Stupid life. My thoughts repeated themselves in time with the rhythm of my scrubbing.

I didn't think I was OCD. But cleaning was the one chore I found ultimate satisfaction in. And having to live (or work in this case) in an environment that was cluttered or a mess was like having a constant itch I couldn't reach. It was why my dorm room was the picture of perfection on a regular basis while I didn't often venture into the organized chaos that Leaf called a bedroom.

And as I used the very last of my elbow grease to eradicate the brownish stains plaguing the espresso counter, not a single speck of dirt remained anywhere else in the establishment. The tables were all scrubbed and polished, the undersides scrapped of any irresponsible customers discarded gum. The floors were swept and mopped, the display cases wiped clean of any fingerprint marks, the shop windows were spotless. Even the kitchen had been scrubbed down to the grit between the tiles.

I was exhausted sure, but immensely satisfied. A feeling that was fleeting more and more these days. And while this job was a pain and all, it was the one thing in my life that I knew for damn-sure I couldn't screw up. My ankle throbbed a bit from the constant strain of being on my feet for the past five hours straight but…

Okay I didn't have a 'but' to finish that sentence. My ankle hurt, most likely because I was working too hard, but I certainly wasn't gonna let a little pain hold me back today. This was, sadly enough, the only normalcy I had left in my life anymore to enjoy.

Looking around the empty café, no customers to bother me and the sheen of freshly cleaned counters staring back at me, I could almost forget about my anger in favor of the hum of a job well done.

Almost.

I turned around and slumped onto the gradient countertop beside the cash register, releasing all the air in my lungs in a tired sigh. Even the annoyance of being back in my uniform couldn't compare to the unrest I was struggling with. My fatigue was both literal and figurative now. I couldn't get Paul's remarks from this morning to leave me alone, no matter how much it still pissed me off to remember the exact words he'd used.

I don't feel guilty, I repeated to myself inwardly. I was too mad to have felt bad that I'd technically started the dispute. But I told myself I would not feel guilty for the things I said to him. He took things way too far.

Even if he did seem really off this morning…Even if for the first time, he seemed really hurt by what I said…No! Not going there! Paul's the jerk in this scenario! What he said to me was completely out of line!

Even thinking it sounded childish. Like talking to the counter-tops. I didn't want to deal with this today though. For now, the painful gouge in my stomach could stay reserved for my own hurt feelings. Maybe tomorrow I'd allow the guilt to join it, but today I was going to stay angry. I deserved to hold that grudge for at least twenty-four hours.

Even if all it does is destroy everything around us, at least getting angry feels better than giving up.

Dammit. Even when I was mad at him, Paul's insights were too…insightful to banish completely.

Not-guilt continued to gnaw at me as I rested my head beside the register in the empty shop. That is, until a resounding slam from the kitchen door announced the arrival of the only other person working that night.

"Ugh, what a day. Not even my best concealer can cover up all these new stress lines!" Harley strutted out the door and past the register, eye's glued to a tiny compact mirror sitting in his hand. Without even glancing at me, he leaned against the counter, his elbow resting right next to my head.

"Stand up straight you layabout. Its unbecoming of a young lady."

"Screw off," I muttered into my arms. It was too late in the evening for me to pull out my 'good employee' shtick. Harley's purple hair and obnoxious attitude were, in combination, just similar enough to the current focus of my frustrations to set me off.

"Lovely as always Mi-Mi." he predictably brushed me off, still focused solely on examining his skin in the tiny mirror. Thankfully, though Harley was a terror of a boss, I knew he wouldn't take offence to my bluntness. We were both too exhausted that night to really care, and I knew he'd heard far worse in his café career.

"Call me that again and these counters aren't gonna be so clean anymore," I threatened half-heartedly. His vile pet-name had hit just a little too close to home, sounding disgustingly like the nicknames my sisters called themselves.

"You're the one draping yourself all over MY custom quartz counter-tops," he pointed out, snapping the compact shut. "You seem to be doing a pretty adequate job of messing the place up without the need for bloodshed."

Harley finally turned his attention to the rest of the restaurant, trying to illustrate his point by finding an example. But all he found were shining walls and sparkling windows. I couldn't tell if he seemed impressed or disturbed, but my purr of self-satisfaction remained the same regardless.

"My…seems you've been busy tonight," he looked around in wonder. But as his eyes slid over his right shoulder to look down at me, a shiver of suspicion went through me at his oddly amused look. "What's wrong with you?"

"Why does there have to be something wrong!?" My voice rose a little higher, a clear tell that he'd hit right on the money with his guess.

"Passive-aggressive cleaning's not really your style. So, something must be the matter with you," Harley explained condescendingly. "Let me guess, you had another fight with that ruggedly boyish tramp with the yellow rodent?"

"Guess again," I stubbornly turned away. Ash had been trying to reach out to me for the past two days. A whole new layer of guilt dropped down on top of my head like a cinder block at the mere description of my best friend. But if I was being honest with myself, I knew I was avoiding the confrontation with him.

More than anything, I couldn't let myself cling on to him now. Ash had been my rock whenever things got really bad with my sisters in the past. But now it was like I was sinking, and instead of reaching out for something to stop my descent, the only thing I wanted to do was make sure no one got dragged down with of me. I wanted…to stand on my own. Even if it caused me to drown in the end.

"Yeah, usually when that happens you just stomp around all day with a little storm cloud hanging over your head. Your repression usually results in aggression, not efficiency."

"Repression!?" I exclaimed, snapping my head back around to glare at him.

"But back to the mystery!" Harley leaned forwards on the counter, forcing me to lean away to preserve my personal space. "Whatever could be the matter that you'd want to distract yourself by actually doing your job well?"

"You don't pay me enough to open up about my life problems. Guess you'll just have to suffer not-knowing." I turned away and started to busy myself gathering the cleaning supplies together. I hoped his attention span would kick in any moment and he's forget that he'd ever cared.

"Fine then, don't tell me. But do tell me what you think of these at least, so I know whether tomorrow morning's meeting will be congratulatory or dismissing."

I glared at him suspiciously as he set down a paper bag I hadn't noticed he was holding on the counter between us. I left the pile of rags in the sink and slid the bottles of cleaning fluid back in their closet before wearily returning to his wily grinned presence.

"What's the catch?" I asked as he pulled out, oddly enough, a scone that was entirely blue in colour. He broke it in half and held out the smaller section towards me. Anything I got to eat inside this place had always come with a price tag attached to it, so being offered something for free could only have disastrous consequences.

"Well being a test subject is the trade-off I suppose. If it's bad then I'll have wasted my culinary talents on the idea of a half-brained baker who'll be out of a job come tomorrow."

I knew he was joking. He threatened to fire everyone who worked here on alternating days of the week. But either on a whim or the fact that I hadn't eaten since lunch, I accepted the scrap of pastry and bravely ventured a taste of the unnaturally coloured baked good.

"What is it anyway?" I asked on second-thought as I let the taste sit on my tongue. It was sweet, but the pastry was dense. I ended up being glad to only have been given half of the scone to try, because one bite was already more filling than I thought possible.

"I'm thinking of calling it, a Bluffin!" Harley spread out his arm in an arc at the name.

"This was supposed to be a muffin?" I looked down at the lump of dough. It looked nothing and tasted nothing like a muffin in the slightest.

"No, it's a combination of Block from Pokéblock, and Poffin!" Harley corrected, insulted that I had misunderstood his genius idea.

"Then, wouldn't it be called a Bloffin?" I corrected him. "Really it just sounds like you're trying to make a blue muffin, and utterly failing."

"Fine, point taken. Due to confusion, the name will need some reworking. But I didn't ask for any criticism of its name, I asked for an honest opinion of its quality."

"Wait a second," I pointed at him, just grasping the meaning of his stupid name idea. "Did you just feed me Pokémon Food!?"

"Oh relax, I'm not that cruel," Harley rolled his eyes at the insinuation. "It's not like I tricked you into eating kibble. I added pokéblock into my regular dough recipe and baked it in a poffin mold. It's just berries and my usual baking ingredients, nothing harmful to humans at all."

"A little warning still would have been nice," I commented begrudgingly as I chewed.

"You're not dead yet, are you?" Harley teased impatiently.

I swallowed the blue desert indignantly. "The taste is fine, but the consistency is a bit…thick. Maybe use less block in the next batch?"

Harley bit into his own half after I was finished speaking my assessment. His face muscles stretched and contracted as he analyzed the taste of his own creation.

"I concur," he agreed as he swallowed. "Though I doubt Pokémon would care about the density, none of my human customers would be as open-minded. Maybe more baking powder would make them fluffier?" he mused to himself.

"Harley, why are you making pastries for people out of Pokémon food in the first place?" I inquired reluctantly.

"Because I pride myself in being ahead of the crowd! In this region anyway," he specified, an arrogant sparkle in his eye as he struck a pose. "Think about it! Pokéblock and Poffins are just a blend of berries and baking, it's all the same ingredients I use for people pastries! So why not sell a batch of goodies that are safe and delicious for owners and Pokémon! It's not like the coordinators I cater to can just come in here and feed their prized performers chocolate croissants after all!"

No, none of them would be stupid enough to try. I snarked internally, but didn't comment. "Don't coordinators pride themselves on making their own poffins and stuff? They've got Poffin Houses all over the city because of them all."

"Top coordinators are busy people Miss Misty. Plus, up-and-coming newbie coordinators need to practice berry combinations for months before they get the right mixture. Being able to buy ready-made treats opens up a new market for me. Its brilliant, I know."

"Then why ask me to try it?"

"Oh Misty, I can always count on a completely honest opinion from you! It's one of the reasons I hired you," Harley patted my head and then retracted his offending limb too fast before I could swat it away. "That, and you can't expect to work for Harley if you don't have at least some degree of sass."

"Is that so?" I actually chuckled. Stuck up and stuck in his own world as he was, Harley was nothing if not…amusing to work for. Still a pain, but it was certainly never dull at the Sunset Café.

It was a pain I thought I was going to miss.

"Oh yeah," I remembered with a pang. With the concert at the end of the month, it would only be a little over two weeks until… "Listen Harley, there's something I should probably tell you about."

"If it's about a raise, the answer is no," he answered automatically, dragging his finger across one of the tables to inspect it for dust. It came away perfectly clean.

"Look," I stressed. "I just figured you'd want a heads-up. I may have to give my two weeks' notice."

That got his attention. His purple main practically blinded him as he spun around so fast. "Huh? You literally just got back from your little reduced-hour injury sabbatical, and now you're trying to quit!?"

"I don't want to!?" I swore honestly. "But I might not have a choice."

"Nah-ah, I don't think so!" Harley argued haughtily. "Miss-Misty doesn't do anything that Miss-Misty doesn't want to do! I'm not buying it cream-puff."

"Look, it's a long, very dumb story," I distracted myself with scratching at an imaginary spot on the pristine quartz counter.

"Ooooooh Gossip!" Harley's attitude did a one-eighty. He was back to his slanted, leaning-way-too-close stance that had be stepping away in a heartbeat. "If it's got anything to do with your cleaning-spree, I'm all ears! Spill!"

Don't get me wrong. I didn't trust Harley. Hell, I didn't even like him most days. But he was my boss, and he did have reason to know about why one of his store-girls, and arguably one he valued the opinions of from his earlier praise, was just up and leaving a job she'd worked her fingers to the bone for so suddenly. It was admittedly, pretty nonsensical that the girl who'd come in to work cash even on crutches for almost three weeks would just up and walk out once she was finally back on her feet.

And maybe, part of me just wanted to rant to someone who wouldn't look at me like I was a wounded child.

So, the proverbial damn burst. And within the last half hour before closing, no customers to interrupt my fuming explanation, Harley took it all in stride. It was mostly relieving, complaining to someone who held no stake in my fight whatsoever. Just a catty café manager who loved drama and was willing to listen.

"Well doesn't your family sound just about as charming as you are," at some point Harley had pulled out a nail file during my rant. His attitude remained indifferent, though thoroughly entertained. "Tough breaks kid."

"Well now you know," I breathed out, feeling a lot lighter. "Guess you'll be a little shorthanded soon," I added remorsefully.

"Oh, I'm still not accepting your resignation," Harley stated, blowing away the filed dust from his fingertips.

"W-What? Why!?" I demanded.

Harley put the nail file away and looked at me, his expression the epitome of boredom. "Because if I preemptively canned someone just because they 'think' their deranged sisters are going to force them into stage-performance slavery on a world-wide tour, I'd have no business to call my own at all! I'd never have even made it out of Hoenn if I saw any point in taking that old-hat of an excuse seriously!"

I sputtered momentarily. The things he was saying had reached a new level of ridiculousness.

"Real-talk now sweetie," he held up a finger to shush me and continued. "I don't just hire any neighborhood high-schooler to come in here and waste my time if they can't handle the work. You got this job because you're a hard worker who takes her lumps like a champ, and presses on no matter what prickly customer storms in here demanding their ridiculously complicated beverage order." Harley grinned a sinister smile, the smallest hint of pride gleaming in his bleach white teeth. "You Misty, don't falter in the face of adversity. You thrive on it! You're not just gonna give up because someone told you to! In fact, I'd put money on your comeback simply because someone had the actual gall to tell you of all people, that it's hopeless! If anything, that just guarantee's you're going to win!"

As if serving people coffee and donuts was some kind of testament to my character. But though the context was questionable, I resonated with what Harley was saying. I didn't want to admit it but, it was hard not to let the whispers and the constant blame get to me, especially when Paul had been the one pointing out all the things I was afraid were true.

Who would have thought Harley would be the one to give me the confident boost I so desperately needed?

"Wow, I never thought I'd say this but…Thank you Harley," for the first time, I spoke to him earnestly.

"I meant every word. And I swear on all that's beautiful… that's its only half because this place has never looked so spotless!" he laughed. "Now, start packing up doll. Closed at 8 p.m. means I wanna be out the door by 8 p.m.!"

Harley disappeared back behind the kitchen door, probably heading back towards his office. And I was left only slightly annoyed at his calling me 'doll'. I busied myself with rinsing out the rags I'd left in the sink during my rant, feeling much lighter than I had since I'd woken up that morning. But just as I was wrapping up with the last of them, the ringing of the bell attached to the front door chimed.

"Oh, I'm sorry but we're-"

"Oh, my Arceus."

The slap of the last wet rag hitting the floor reverberated throughout the empty shop. My back was to the door. The giddy voice crawled over me like a swarm of Spinarak. I didn't want to turn around.

No. No, no, no, you can't take this too. This is the last thing I have that's mine!

My whole body moved as if in slow motion. Like, maybe if I prolonged seeing her with my own eyes, she'd disappear. Like a ghost that could only mess with you when your back was turned, perhaps no one would be there. Her voice, just a figment of my imagination.

Lily's wide smile looked like a Meowth who'd just caught her dinner. The arm of her sunglasses was caught between her teeth and her blue eyes shone hungrily. Few things in my life terrified me more than that look of pure sadism when one of my sisters found a brand-new angle to prod me from.

I considered this to be a very solid contender for the worst day of my life.

"Lily…" I warned her.

"This is everything I could have wanted it to be, and more!" Lily couldn't stop smiling. Her pink hair swished around her high cheekbones as her whole head and body shook with the laughter she was trying to conceal.

How are you here? WHY are you here!?

"I swear, if you-" I started again.

"Hold that thought. Scowl!" she prompted in the same way one would say 'smile' as she pulled out her phone. Everything that I am froze in that horrible flash of light. "Oh yeah, that's gonna be my new wallpaper."

"What are you doing here!?" I finally lost it. My nails dug into the counter as if it were a chalkboard.

"Who even cares!? It was worth every Poké I spent on the taxi ride down here." Lily treated this all like some kind of game, and she'd won just by walking in the door. How did they know where I worked? How did they even know how to find where I worked!? And how was it possible that this day, even after offering the slightest ray of hope, could immediately snuff it out and somehow still kept getting worse!?

"Hey, since I'm here, can I get aaaaaa-" Lily trailed off looking at the cursive menu board behind my head.

You can't be serious.

"Ooh, a medium iced blonde-roast vanilla latté, made with almond milk, extra whip topping, and can I get some cinnamon sprinkled on top too? Thanks!" she grinned mockingly.

"We're closing in five minutes," I bit out stonily.

"Then that means you're still open, right?" her self-satisfied grin oozed with valley-girl superiority.

"Why should I?" I finally just asked.

"Because I'm a paying customer, duh." Lily dangled her bedazzled phone case like she was holding it off a cliff. "Chop, chop now little sis. Before my finger slips on the share button."

I despise you.

Lily kept laughing silently at her own victory while I shook with rage. It would be so easy to murder her right now. Night time, after hours, no witnesses around. I found comfort in knowing that I could probably get away with the crime even as I caved and started tearing apart my organizational masterpiece to make her the obnoxious drink order.

The faster I made it, the faster she'd be gone.

"Wow, who would have guessed that all we had to do was hold you accountable to get you to cooperate? You do look adorable by the way. Really, I mean it! That dress is bringing back all these memories of when we'd play dress-up when you were little." Lily placed her sunglasses back on her head. Always having to look better than everyone in the room, and loving it whenever that happened to include me.

You mean you'd force me into wearing whatever ridiculous outfit you wanted me too and then laugh at me afterwards.

Lily was the closest to me in age, but that was the only instance. Out of all my sisters array of different tormenting strategies, Lily always seemed the most…enthusiastic in her mockery. All the more reason to humor her in favor of ending this as quickly as possible.

"That'll be $5.25." I tried to set the drink down on the polished surface, but the pressure of my fingertips was quickly indenting the sides of the plastic to-go cup. I had to fight the instinct not to throw the drink in her stupid face.

"Don't I get some sort of family discount?" Lily crossed her arms.

"No."

You're not family.

"Ugh, fine," she relented. Lily pulled out a platinum coloured credit card and tapped her payment against the debit machine. The electronic beep was like a switch being flipped in my brain, and I instantly released my vice-like hold.

"By the way, I did have a reason for coming down here," Lily's closed-lipped smile was sickly sweet as she sipped her frozen cavity-fluid.

"Aside from stalking?" I muttered.

"Please, I have way better things to do than follow your boring-ass around," Lily scoffed. "We've got a gig, Sista. Or rather, your sisters have a gig and Daisy wants you to be there too."

Blink once. Blink twice. Nope, not gonna wake up from this nightmare anytime soon it seemed.

"You guys have a show? You've been here two days!"

"Word spreads fast," she shrugged. "This club downtown practically begged us to come visit. And since in a few weeks you'll be joining us-"

"That hasn't been decided yet!" I slammed my fists down on the counter, not caring at the rush of pain that spread through my knuckles.

Lily just shook her head and sighed.

"Oh, baby sis… I don't know why you even try." Lily took another long sip of her drink. "Don't make this harder on yourself. Come see the show, bring your little girl band too. It'll be educational."

Oh yeah, cause you're an expert on THAT.

"Next week. April 18th. Be there," Lily spelled out. It was clear I didn't have a choice in the matter of attendance "You'll only be like, needlessly making things worse if you try to ditch just to piss us off."

Tempting all the same.

"Fine," I growled. There was little I could do to get out of this when my sisters were in the immediate distance to drag me to do it anyway despite my not wanting to. Agreeing was the only option that would save me any sanity tonight.

"Great! One of us will text you the deets'. Who knows? If you behave yourself you might even have fun!" And with that, Lily flipped her hair over her shoulder and waved goodbye, heading back towards the door from which she came. "Later, Runt."

The bell chimed behind her as the door swung closed. The last piece of my life no longer untouched by the Sensational sisters.

A door slammed open again, only this time it was the one leading to the kitchen instead of the one Lily had sashayed out of.

"Well now, put a hundred bucks on the red-head with an attitude problem!" Harley announced as if he was talking to a bet-taker instead of an empty café. "Shame though, that's one of the prettiest faces I've seen in some time, but that personality could rot flesh."

"Huh!?" I realized, my face flushing. "You-you were listening the whole time!"

"We're done for tonight." Harley adjusted his green hat, disregarding my accusation altogether. "Leave the mess, Summer will get it in the morning. Go change and get your things so I can lock up."

I wanted to argue further. A storm of rageful accusations was practically spilling out of me already! But following my sister's path, Harley just walked out the front door. Not even waiting for me.

I was done. Completely spent. All I wanted was to curl up in my bed as soon as I got back and fall into a dreamless sleep. My whole body jerked in its motions as I went to the back and began ripping my uniform off, as if removing it could peel away my sister's words too. Being back in my t-shirt and jeans didn't even make me feel any better, but stuffing the dress into a crumpled heap in my bag sure did. Just a little.

I rushed out of the locker room and kept my pace until I was out the door where Harley was waiting, key in hand.

"Listen carefully Misty." Harley pulled me from my own mind before I could so much as say 'see you in a few days' and begin running home. He slid his key swiftly into the lock on the glass door of the Sunset Café. "Don't ever let that harpy speak to you like that again! No employee of mine is gonna lie down and take a beating like that!"

Okay, forget shocked. I felt like I'd been stuck by lightening. And all because Harley, flamboyant café owner, retired coordinator, Hoenn bred man who wasn't afraid to speak his mind towards even the rudest Hearthomer's who wandered into his warpath, was pointing his finger at me and accusing me of being a doormat under the periwinkle evening sky.

"And besides. Nobody walks in to my café looking more fabulous than me and gets away with it." Harley put his keys away and rested his hands on his hips. "Avenge me little firecracker!"

"Huh?" I think I'd officially lost the ability to speak anymore.

"Misty! Forget everything you think you know and remember only this! You've got to beat those sisters! You. Have. To. WIN!"

And with a flip of his hair, any seriousness he portrayed melted away. "And that's the limit of my niceties for the next oh…month, probably. Ugh, how exhausting it is being supportive. I don't know how anyone does it on a regular basis. Well, good luck with…everything your tragic life needs luck with. Ciao for now, Misty!"

And just like that, Harley turned around and strutted into the night.

And so, another horrible, crazy day ended. And end it did on the strangest note it could have, with the strangest thought I'd ever had crossing my mind.

Harley was right.

Even if it was for the wrong reasons. And I could theoretically owe him a life debt, and I still probably wouldn't avenge him. One, because I'm pretty sure you had to be dead to be avenged at all, and two, even if he was dead I still wouldn't care enough about him to seek vengeance for the loss of his life. But maybe his motivations didn't have to make sense for his message to make me feel better.

I had to win. Even if it seemed hopeless. Even if literally every odd was against me. Even if the whole world supported my sisters and wanted me to fail.

I couldn't just give up. Not before I'd even started.

So…I had to win. And I would.

But I was gonna do it for me.


Gary

There's a moment when one is suddenly woken up, no matter who that one might be, where they're left in a state of complete disorientation. I had to assume, statistically speaking, that everyone must have experienced this at some point or another during their lives. One second you're asleep, every fiber of your being totally relaxed, and then the next second, for whatever reason, all of the muscles you didn't even know you had were turned on red-alert and tensed for an impact of airplane-proportions. Even the most intelligent of brains needed a solid couple seconds of downright cluelessness to catch up to such an abrupt awakening.

I would know, because I have such a brain, and being startled awake still had me feeling like a clueless idiot. It wasn't the first time I'd experienced such a thing, and it probably wouldn't be the last. No, what bothered me most about this predicament was the fact that this phenomenon was not something I could build up a resistance to. Damn evolution.

The sound of my phone vibrating against the wooden side table sounded like growling in my half-asleep state. My head jolted up from my pillow and I froze, my whole body going stock-still in hopes of seeming invisible to whatever wild creature had found its way into my bedroom, in the interest of mauling me to death (the only reasonable assumption). It took a couple seconds longer than I was proud of for my mind to stop buffering and recognize the sound of my own property.

I glared into the darkness and collapsed back down onto the mattress, feeling childish but relieved no one was around to witness my act of confusion. Looking stupid was one thing, but feeling stupid was more aggravating than my roommate on an empty stomach. Flailing tiredly into the darkness, I threw my arm in the general direction of the annoying sound repeatedly until I knocked it off the table altogether.

I groaned in agony as I was blinded. The screen lit up the pitch-black room like a miniature sun. My eyes scrunched themselves closed even tighter, the throbbing of my eyes seeping into my skull until my whole head was pounding. I didn't even know what time it was, or what day, or what any of my friend's names were. All I knew that night (morning?) was that this phone was the bane of my existence.

I was forced to shake off the rest of my sleep. If the midnight sun wanted my attention so badly, I'd have to give it to it. Glaring into the abyss of light below, I lazily rolled away from my blanket heaven and sunk onto the cold hard floor. The glow did not get any less painful as I grabbed the offending device and unlocked the screen.

Hey, are you awake?

As quickly as it came though, all the annoyance I felt upon awakening melted away. I smiled to myself, my earlier comparison about a midnight sun seeming eerily accurate and even more charming than it had just moments ago.

I didn't bother getting up from the floor. I just went about texting Leaf a response.

I sure am now. What's up?

I held the cellular device with both hands above my head, staring patiently at the screen as I waited for her reply. The bobbing ellipses danced up and down as Leaf worded her message. The seconds ticked on, and I could only guess how many times she was deleting her words before finally deciding on what to say.

Sorry I woke you up. It's nothing, go back to sleep :)

I rolled my eyes tiredly. Now fully awake, I dragged myself into a sitting position and leaned back against the bed frame

Cut that out Green, I know you, and it's not nothing. I'm already up, so just tell me.

Leaf didn't text back for three whole minutes. It felt like ten.

I'm okay. Really.

I didn't buy it. I sent off my reply within a fraction of the time it took my girlfriend to.

So, it's super important then?

The next gap in communication was five whole minutes. If it weren't- I glanced towards the little digital clock in the corner of my phone screen- almost 4 in the morning, I might've felt a pinch of guilt for calling her out so blatantly. But I knew Leaf, and little Night-Rowlet though she may be, she wouldn't be up this late and texting me unless something else was up besides her. And her attempt at backtracking so immediately only confirmed my suspicions. That girl would bleed herself dry donating blood if she could. Quick to take care of others, slow to ask for help for herself. Her generosity would be the death of her if I weren't there to stop it.

Suddenly she was typing again, and five startling words popped up on my screen.

Can you come get me?

I must have re-read those words five time's over in my brain before I found the brainpower to type something back.

Right now?

Okay, a little less intelligent than I was going for and a little too obvious. Of course, she meant right now! Why else would she have said that at this Arceus-forsaken hour of the night!

Her response was immediate.

I need you.

I was on my feet in three seconds flat, trying to pull on socks and a blue hoodie at the same time as I texted with one hand.

Be there in five.

I impressed even myself with how many tasks I was able to juggle at once to get ready. Passing by the mirror on my way out the door, I would say I did a pretty decent job combing my hair at least. Still wearing the sweats I was sleeping in and with only my phone, wallet and Umbreon's pokéball in hand, I descended down the Valor Hall stairs and tried to forget how thick-headed that second-to-last text message had sounded.

I wasn't exactly sure what I'd find on the other side of Leaf's door as I knocked quietly. But I also couldn't say I was entirely surprised to see her open the door, all pajamas and puffy eyes. Leaf looked exhausted, but in a completely different way then I was. The flush of her face was the most obvious sign that she hadn't slept at all that night.

My heart clenched at the number of tear tracks still left on her face.

"Hey beautiful," my usual greeting slipped out. I kept my voice low, but I seriously doubted anyone else was up this late besides us. She didn't look up at me, but she did open the door all the way.

I gestured forward with both my hands. "Come here."

Leaf sighed with her whole body as she stepped into the hallway. We drew together without any need for words. I wrapped her in my arms and she buried her face in my hoodie. She breathed deeply as if she was trying to fall asleep right there and then. I'd half expected her to start crying again, but she just kept breathing, slow and controlled. I rubbed circled into the fabric of the worn-out sweatshirt she'd gotten from my sister and we just stood there in the open space. The hallway belonged to no one but us.

I didn't know what was wrong, but I was fairly sure standing in the middle of the hallway at 4 in the morning wasn't going to yield any more information on the subject. And as content as I was to just keep holding her, that probably only covered about half of what I had to get done right now.

Leaf might not have realized it when she sent me that text, but I'd heard loud and clear what it was she really needed.

"You got your key?" I questioned quietly into her disheveled hair. I glanced down at her feet, and thanked the gods she was at least wearing moccasins.

Leaf sniffed sharply, being brought back to the present moment. "Yeah, it's just-" she started to say.

"Great," I interrupted, reaching out to close the door to her dorm room behind her. "Then let's go."

Leaf turned her green eyes up to me curiously. It was like looking into the saddest Christmas lights ever. Red framing green. "What? Where?"

I grinned down at her and started walking backwards down the hall, pulling her arms from where they rested on my back and holding both her hands in mine. "We're running away together."

Still confused and probably wondering if I was delusional due to sleep deprivation, Leaf couldn't stop herself from smiling at my antics. I beamed with pride at my accomplishment.

"Just for tonight," I clarified, leading her down the hallway.

"Right now?" Leaf chuckled and let herself be guided, looking us both up and down from her Bulbasaur-printed PJ pants to my obvious lack of hair product.

"Come on, it's not like either of us are going to be getting any more sleep," I pointed out, punching the elevator button without looking away from her.

"Blue, I…" Leaf's fingers tightened in my grasp. Her eyes shifted from me to the floor and back again like a real-life version of the ellipses from my phone screen earlier, her bottom lip wedged between her teeth. She was conflicted. Something was still wrong, obviously, and it had been weighing on her so much that even her introversion couldn't stop her from seeking out company. I could practically see all the sentences she was writing and re-writing inside her own head, trying to come up with the perfect way to explain it to me.

But even still, she couldn't hide the smile she was obviously fighting. Leaf wanted to run, even if only for a while, away from all the tears she'd shed and whatever was causing them. She wanted to let me take her on this early-morning adventure. Forget the classes we had in the morning and the constant stream of drama always assaulting us. She was caught between being responsible, and letting herself breathe.

Compromise then.

"Shush-up now. Tell me all about it when we get there," I offered.

The elevator door opened and neither of us moved. Leaf looked back and forth before realizing I was leaving the decision up to her. I just stood there, the silence acting as my question. What did she want to do?

Leaf smiled at me again. Arceus, did she smile. I'd have given anything for a photo of that beautifully real, hopeful, playful smile. Pulling me along with her, she dragged both of us into the brightly lit elevator box and swiped her key card, pressing the ground floor option.

"I'll follow your lead," Leaf breathed.

I was going to respond, but then her wonderful smile found its way onto mine. And regardless of the fact that her skin was still damp from crying, and something was still wrong enough to make her end up like this, and we both had horrible cases of morning breath, I still couldn't get enough of that kiss before the doors opened again.

And then we were off. Racing across the lobby, out the doors, along the cobblestone paths and through the pools of yellow street light, never losing pace as we literally, ran away. Her hand never left mine as we sprinted, my heart pounding against my rib cage and the humid air stabbing my lungs. The only things following us were the echoes of our own footsteps and the sound of Leaf laughing.

We made it out past the iron fence and halfway through the surrounding suburbia before we slowed. The wind rushing past us had ruined any attempt I'd made at styling and Leaf's nest of tangled hair wasn't any better, but Arceus knew we were still laughing despite no longer having the breath. Leaf panted against my arm while I called a taxi, and in my opinion, she looked just a beautiful as always. Surprisingly, we didn't wait long at all for our driver to pick us up. Soon enough we were situated in the back of a bright yellow car and sailing through the more-barren-than-usual streets of Hearthome.

We probably looked crazy to the man sitting behind the steering wheel. Mainly I think he was just happy we weren't drunk and getting sick all over the back of his cab.

Usually Leaf gazed out the window whenever she was in a moving vehicle. Watching the sights go by, observing the world while lost in her thoughts. But tonight, her eyes were closed and her head rested on my shoulder. She wasn't sleeping, but she dozed a bit.

I wondered if she was thinking about anything.

I leaned down so our cab driver wouldn't hear.

"You know, I could have taken that text you sent in a very different way," I pointed out.

Leaf shifted but didn't open her eyes. "What do you mean?" she asked sleepily, tilting her head so she could hear me better.

She couldn't see it, but my smile threatened to split my face. "Well, it's four o'clock in the morning and my girlfriend sends me a text saying she needs me. What is a teenage heartthrob supposed to think?" I teased relentlessly.

I counted the seconds it took her to process that. We were coming up on double digits before her eyes shot open in grim realization.

Now her face was red from a completely different reason than crying.

"Did you seriously think that's what this was!?" Leaf whispered harshly, her head shooting up to stare me down. She was terrible at hiding her embarrassment.

The look on her face was absolutely priceless though. I snickered quietly.

"Eh, I know you better than that. A guy can dream though," I continued poking fun at her.

Realizing I'd been making fun of her and not seriously expecting what I'd implied, Leaf pouted.

"Yeah, well keep dreaming buddy," she grumbled, looking very similar to the child I remember growing up with.

I continued regardless. "I can't, my girlfriend woke me up and now she and I are running away together. Have you not been paying attention?" I mock-asked. "Or maybe I'm still dreaming and this is all just hyper-realistic."

Finally, Leaf relented her embarrassment and humored me.

"Sorry, this is real," she rolled her eyes, but looked a tad bit guilty. "I didn't think you'd actually wake up though. I figured you'd just get the text in the morning and I… I didn't know what else to do."

I moved my arm around her and pulled her back to her original position against my shoulder.

"I'm glad you did," I whispered.

The driver let us off on the corner I specified and I paid him by card. We walked the rest of the way until we came to one of the only buildings with the lights still on that wasn't a club or a bar.

The neon of the diner sign buzzed with electricity as we passed underneath it. A bell attached to the door chimed as we entered the nearly empty establishment with checkered floors and outdated posters covering the walls. Since it didn't seem like anyone was in charge of seating us, we picked out our own red-leather booth and all but collapsed into it.

"So, your plan was to run away and live in this diner?" Leaf asked, looking around at the kitschy memorabilia and linoleum that gave this place its retro charm.

"Breakfast can help most any problem," I claimed proudly. "That, and it's the only place that's open this early that won't card us."

A smiling waitress approached our table, looking more awake than anyone in the vicinity as she happily asked to take our order. She didn't look to be confused at all as to why two high school students would be up at four in the morning and sitting in her place of work, she just looked down at us with eagerness. The only other patron that seemed to be around was a man in the corner with his hood up nursing a cup of coffee, so maybe she was just happy to have something to do.

"Coffee, two milks one sugar, and just tea for her, to start," I requested as Leaf poked through the menu and leaned heavily against me. The waitress smiled brightly again as she left to prepare our caffeine. I looked to my right at Leaf, who was flipping the menu over and back, but didn't look to be reading it anymore.

"You know what you want?" I asked, safely easing in to this conversation.

"Pancakes have never failed me before," Leaf proclaimed.

"Breakfast food in general has never failed me before, and I don't think it ever will," I agreed. I squeezed her shoulder to keep her attention. "It probably won't take long to cook our food since it's not busy. You want to talk about it before or after it gets here?"

Leaf tensed. She put the menu down flat on the table and took another deep breath.

"After."

I didn't comment further. After the waitress came back with our drinks and took our food orders, we sat in silence as the early morning stretched on. I sipped my coffee and rubbed Leaf's shoulder, reminding her that I was right here so she wouldn't retreat inside her own head. Leaf stared at the wall directly ahead of us, her brows furrowed in concentration. I knew what she was doing. She'd told me about it before when I'd asked, not long after we got together, what was happening in her mind whenever she stared off into space like that.

And Leaf told me she was simply thinking. And that sometimes she thought for so long that she got lost. She had said that she did it a lot whenever she felt lonely or when life got too hard. But it was also a way for her to figure things out and think through her problems.

But Leaf wouldn't get too lost as long as I was here with her. The day she'd explained it to me, we were sitting outside, as I recalled. The sun had set, and Leaf pointed to the streetlights coming on as the sky got darker and darker to illustrate her point. Leaf told me then, that just like the lamps lighting the path, she would always find her way home if there were streetlights to guide her there.

You're like my streetlights. You keep me here, in reality, grounded. You bring me back home whenever I get lost.

And then she'd gotten really flustered for saying such a thing and her whole face blushed pink, but I'd thought she looked adorable like that. And then we'd kissed on the grass until the stars came out, and I'd felt pretty honored to know that she could rely on me so much.

Our plates were sitting in front of us now. Leaf was cutting her food into pieces while I dipped toast in egg yolks and waited for her to actually start eating before I asked her to stop thinking and start explaining to me what was going on.

"So, you ready to tell me what's bothering you, so early?" I asked after swallowing my own early-morning breakfast.

Leaf was chewing. She made a point of taking several more bites of her food to prolong having to talk. I sipped my coffee and waited, knowing that I could only push so much at a time until I had to let her move forward on her own.

Finally, she swallowed. "I…I just didn't want to be alone."

I gazed at her intently. I ate instead of talking, and she leaned her head back on the cushioned booth to stare up at the ceiling. Her whole expression crumpled in on itself. She looked so sad.

"I feel like I'm…like it's getting bad again," Leaf admitted, and I didn't need to ask to know what she was talking about. I remembered how bad the past winter had been for her, and how far her issues had pushed her until she'd snapped.

"But not for the reasons I thought it would," she followed up. She took another deep breath, this time it shook a little coming out. "Paul came to see me yesterday, really early in the morning. He was…I don't know, I've never seen him like that before. And Misty is either depressed or furious at everything that moves nowadays, and it's all just…!"

Leaf pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes and a sob broke out while she was trying to breathe. I pulled her back against me and shushed into her hair. Her fingers were dug into her hairline and her whole body vibrated with the sobs she was forcing down. I smoothed her tousled hair down again as she breathed, the buzzing of the lights and the clanging of kitchenware was all that filled the space around us.

Only when her breathing slowed did I venture to break the silence.

"My Arceus, you're like a sponge Leaf Green," I chided.

Still buried in the space between my neck and my shoulder, Leaf shifted.

"Okay, didn't expect that one," she uttered, sniffling.

I sighed deeply myself and hugged her as best I could. It killed me seeing her like this, and though I was always up to comfort her, I couldn't help the part of me that desperately wanted to fix this. I couldn't let Leaf do this to herself. Whatever had been Paul's problem, and Misty with her crisis, I was pretty sure neither of them would have wanted an outcome like this to happen from them coming to talk with her.

I braced myself. I didn't want to say the wrong thing here, but I couldn't lie to her either.

"You are always trying to fix other people's problems. Even when you've got your own problems to deal with, you'll put everything on hold just to people-please. And you end up sucking up all their raging emotions like a wet dishcloth!" I explained, drawing from all the past experiences this year to form this analysis.

Leaf glared a little up at me, her eyes flushed once again. "Thanks for that comparison."

"A beautiful dishcloth," I assured her. "With little green Bulbasaur's printed all over it," I gestured to her pants. "The point is, you absorb other people's feelings and problems to the point where you literally can't function. If Misty gets mad, you get mad. Dawn gets upset about something, you get upset. Etcetera."

Leaf pushed herself upwards so she was sitting straight. She looked me straight on, and I couldn't tell what she was thinking about the observations I was making. She kept her face totally blank.

"Are you saying it's a bad thing that I'm trying to help my friends?" she asked.

"Never," I reassured her. "But you…you gotta take a step back and breathe a little. You can't fix everyone's problems all by yourself."

"But they came to me! They asked me for help. And I want to be there for them," Leaf emphasized.

"And if Paul or Misty knew you hadn't gotten any sleep tonight because you were up crying about them, they'd feel awful for doing that to you," I argued back steadily.

We stared at each other quietly. Leaf looked away first. I reached up and wiped away the last few tears that had escaped from her eyes. Leaf looked so tired, but at long last she didn't look so…helpless.

"Okay. I see your point. I just feel…overwhelmed. Misty and Paul both looked to me to help them sort out their issues and, I don't regret being there for them, but now I can't get my brain to shut off. I just can't stop worrying about them and I don't know how to stop," Leaf confessed, her hands clenched tightly into fists in frustration.

"Well, talk to me. Don't go through this all alone. It's never worked out for you before," I pointed out.

Leaf slumped back against the booth, her breakfast half-eaten and forgotten. She managed to uncurl on of her fists, and reached out to grab my hand from where it lay on the tabletop. She clasped down hard.

"Keep an eye on Paul for me, okay?" she requested suddenly. "He's hurting right now, and whatever he's dealing with might be dangerous."

Completely skimming over that detail in my hurry to comfort her, I remembered her exact words from when she was explaining everything to me. Paul had come to see her in the morning? But he hated getting up before he absolutely had to. And he'd been upset about something? Paul didn't care about anything that wasn't worth his time, though he had been acting more wary lately.

Dangerous? What could Paul potentially tell my girlfriend about that would put her in danger!?

"What do you mean?" I asked, looking for clarification now that my paranoia was running wild.

"I'm not sure, he couldn't tell me everything. Just be careful, and look out for him," Leaf pleaded tiredly.

I wanted to inquire more, press for details, but I knew that if Leaf knew anything more she would tell me herself. Even if Paul had told her more and asked her to keep it a secret, she'd still tell me everything she could out of pure concern if anything else. If all she knew was that Paul was dealing with some dangerous secret, then that must be all he had told her.

Great, another crisis. Could none of us catch a break this year?

"Okay," I promised her. If Paul was bringing danger to the table, there was no way I was sitting out when Leaf was going all-in. And despite his exterior persona, Paul was still my friend. I'd get more info about this on my own time.

But for now, the sky still lacked a sun and Leaf still needed me. Whatever came next could wait until morning.

"Don't stop now," I urged her on. Leaf looked back to me, blinking away the beginnings of fresh tears.

"What?" she asked.

"Keep going. Tell me more about all the things that led us both to run away to this outdated diner," I insisted, squeezing her hand in comfort.

"Gary, I…" Leaf lamented. "It's stupid. And it's way too early to be dropping this on you. You just said I shouldn't be thinking about any of these things anyway."

Uh-oh, that was not what I meant, I thought, instantly panicking.

"No. No-no-no, I said that you tend to take on other people's feelings, not that you shouldn't," I clarified instantly.

Geez, maybe that does sound a little insensitive now that I think back on it.

"Come on, you're Leaf Green!" I went on. "There's no hope of getting you to stop caring about the people you love. And I wouldn't want to change that about you. I wouldn't want to change anything about you," I told her honestly.

"I thought I was getting better. I thought…I was stronger than this now. But I guess I'm not," Leaf smiled sadly, wiping away more tears on the sleeves of her sweater.

I loved this girl in every way, but the four a.m. version of Leaf Green was becoming one I would hold especially dear. She was becoming too tired to allow all the insecurities and the weights she struggled against during the day to stop her from speaking up. At this time of night, she was entirely without guards. She was real, and honest and vulnerable. It was absolutely breathtaking.

I lifted her chin, forcing her to look at me and not down in shame.

"You're allowed to have feelings. All I want is for you to not torture yourself about them. And you didn't. You asked for help this time," I reminded her. I didn't know what exactly her definition of strong was, but she'd certainly come a long way in the few months we'd been together. She still had her faults but, a year ago, she never would have asked for help like she did tonight. I was proud of her.

"I…" Leaf stared at me, taken aback. "I gave some very similar advice just yesterday."

"Do as I say, not as I do," I quoted. "You're still trying to find balance with your own stuff. Let me help you sort out everyone else's problems."

"Seriously?" Leaf relented. "I mean…so this is okay? Are you sure?"

"Go on and fall apart, beautiful. I'm not going anywhere."

We settled back against each other in the empty restaurant at the ridiculous hour. And I must have finally said something right, because it looked like she'd run out of tears to shed. But despite the hour and the multiple tear stains between us, I found that I was rather happy exactly where I was.

"What do we do?" Leaf asked.

"I don't know. But we'll figure it out."

I couldn't promise her easy answers. I couldn't even begin to guess what was going to happen with Paul or with Misty. But whatever happened, one thing was for damn sure.

If some kind of risk was coming our way, we'd have to work together to be ready for it. Screw going it alone. All eight of us had made it this far.

We'd make it to the end.


A/N: Again, if you'd like to know more about my personal state of being, what's next for me, what happened this past year to make me MIA, I'll explain it on my profile update. What I'd like to do at the end of my chapters is talk about my story in a more, behind the scenes kind of way. So, if you're interested, keep on reading.

I think I related to Paul's point of view the most in this chapter, because it was easiest to put myself in his shoes coming from where I was emotionally when I wrote it. This was the second time I was able to write Paul as being vulnerable, the first time being when he was shaken after Dawn almost got hit by that car. At first, I thought the confrontation between Misty and Paul would be short and quick, but then I just kept writing and it kept making more sense. Both Misty and Paul, who are very formidable opponents when pissed off, have been backed into a corner in a very short time and are being forced to deal with way too many emotions all at once. Of course if those two clashed it wouldn't be a short little spat, it would turn into a full-out battle! I'm looking forward to writing the follow-up to this when they both have to deal with the repercussions of the things they said to each other. And then at the end of it all, Paul really just needed a hug. Leaf gave some good advice, and it was a good call-back to her previous arc. But unlike Leaf, Paul's not gonna have just one big explainer where he tells his entire backstory, as I alluded to in this chapter. He's not built that way, and he is gonna have to open up a little at a time, telling his friends his story piece by piece. Those walls were built in layers, and he's gonna need to tear down a few before the entire puzzle fits together. It's not what he wants, but Paul really just doesn't know how else to go about it. He needs time he doesn't have. This is the one instant where he wants to be honest, but just doesn't know how to be.

Misty and Harley's interactions were so much fun to write. Honestly, I went into it just wanting to give Misty a pep talk. She needed one after getting kicked in the gut by one of her friends and gossiped about all day. And I like to think of Harley not as a bad guy, or a villain, but more of a trickster. He's not emotionally invested the way the other characters are, but he offers much needed comedic relief after that big hunk of drama. He's definitely on Misty's side (if only because she cleaned his whole café). And oh, The Sensational Sisters have a show? I wonder what will come of that.

And in the end, writing Oldrivalshipping is like balm to a wound. Writing this was therapeutic, and it as well, was easier to write because of my actual emotional state. After going through it myself, I realized that Leaf, even though her main story is over, realistically wouldn't be able to get over her insecurities and her self-doubt within a few months just because she was honest about them with her friends. She still struggles with trying to be there for others but also taking care of herself, and she still has bad days. But now that she's got Gary, she knows she doesn't have to go through it alone, but still feels a bit guilty for having to trouble him. Gary gave some solid advice though! Best boyfriend ever! His point of view was very sweet and romantic to put into words. And hey, Gary said we're all gonna make it to the end (of the story, obviously), so it has to be true. A teenage heartthrob is NEVER wrong after all!

And that's about all I have to say for now. If anyone has any questions or wants to talk more about what goes into these chapters as I write them, send me a message. Last reminder, check my profile for regular updates on future chapter progress. It was fun being able to write for you guys again. I hope to read all of your new reviews very soon!

Until next time, stay lovely my readers!