Flustered, Cullen stumbled over his words. "Inquisitor - I…"

It was Solana who answered, with a laugh. "We are in need of a babysitter."

She was wearing the baby in a sling strapped to her chest that Celeste had apparently advised. Cullen still wasn't sure that it was best for her to be riding with such delicate cargo, but Solana was more at home on the back of a horse than anyone he'd ever known. Her hair was done up in a messy bun at the nape of her neck and she was bundled in so many layers of clothing that he was satisfied that if she did, for some reason, come unseated, there would be some level of protection for the child.

"I'd gladly volunteer for that task," Max said. "I am also good with a sword. Cassandra tells me that my stance is lazy, but we can't all be the Hero of Orlais."

"The what?" Hawke asked, drawing up alongside them.

"She hasn't told you the story? Odd. Perhaps she was self-conscious. She loves telling me how fortunate I am to have the heroes of Orlais, Kirkwall and Ferelden serving under my banner. I'm not sure if she means it as a compliment or to cut me down to size."

Cullen finally found his voice. "You wish to join our mission?"

"Yes, I would. If it's no trouble?"

The question Cullen wanted to ask was why, but it seemed rude to just demand that from his superior. "It is no trouble," he said.

Again, it was Solana who found the words he wanted to. "The evil magister is dead. What are you running from?"

Trevelyan chuckled, but his eyes darted off to the side, observing the mountain view. "It's less of a running from, and more of a running… to."

"I'm not sure I understand. If you wanted to see the Fereldan Circle Tower…"

"No, it's not the tower per se… it's what it represents. Mystery, adventure… I've hardly left my office since I returned from defeating Corypheus."

"Don't tell me you're bored?" Varric shouted from behind him.

"No, not bored. Sweet Andraste, not bored. I have enough paperwork to last me several years."

Hawke gave him a knowing look. "And let me guess, everybody needs you?"

"All the time," Trevelyan lamented.

"They do know where you've gone?" Cullen asked, thinking of the cloak. "We won't have a search party coming after you?" If Trevelyan had wanted to join their mission he might have said something at Skyhold, rather than following them.

"Cassandra knows. I left her in command. Don't fret, Cullen. We won't have Leliana's birds descending upon us."

"I'd be more concerned with her arrows," Solana quipped. Then, to the group. "Let's make haste before the Inquisitor's paperwork catches up with him."

The first day of travel was tense as they navigated their way down the mountain, but uneventful. They stopped for the night in the ruins of the Temple of Sacred Ashes.

As they made camp, Cullen kept catching Solana and Anders exchanging looks. He knew why. This was where it had happened, where they'd set a trap for their test subjects and she'd been set upon by a wild animal instead. There was no sign of Red Templars now. All was quiet.

They took turns telling stories around the campfire while dining on roast nug and hard cheese. Solana, as usual, had everyone enthralled with a tale of how she'd once traversed the very caverns below them and found an entire wyrmling lair. The only person present who might match her in outrageous conquests was Hawke, but Varric kept interrupting his story - "you're not telling it right!" - and eventually the dwarf took over.

Cullen's mind drifted as he watched his wife enjoying the story, their child cuddled up against her chest. The baby was watching her as she laughed and prompted Varric to continue. Her tiny jewel-like eyes were bright and curious in the firelight. It was achingly beautiful, this picture of them. His family. Solana was alive in a way she hadn't been in months. The open road and comradery brought out the best in her. She blazed with an inner light that he couldn't recall ever being able to reach. Is that what Alistair had seen, every night they were together? Is that who she'd been for him?

Cullen had hardly spoken to Solana since that morning in Trevelyan's quarters. The exception being when she'd arrived in his office and asked that Anders join them. She'd been pale and nervous as if he frightened her. And he'd felt he had no choice but to agree. Now, as the time they'd have to share a single tent drew near, he found himself fretful. She had been involved in who knows what dark magic. But she'd done it in the hopes of saving their child. And she'd told him about it. And she'd died. He was hurt and angry, but relieved and grateful. And he didn't know how to act with her. All he knew was that he was inadequate. Inadequate and unnecessary. She would do as she saw fit, regardless of him.


"I'll take first watch," Cullen announced as Varric came to the end of his tale.

Solana's chest tightened. Cullen had been avoiding her since she'd shown him that room and now, even in camp, he sought a way to keep out of her reach. His face was drawn, she could see he was tired.

"No, I'll be up with the baby. I'll take first watch."

"She'll need another feed before the night is through," he said. "Feed her now, rest, and I'll wake you for the second watch."

Of course, that way he could avoid sleeping beside her at all. She didn't have the strength to argue, so she inclined her head. She caught Varric looking between them, but the others seemed oblivious.

The baby was fidgety, overstimulated from seeing and hearing so many new things. It took over an hour for her to get to sleep and then Solana lay awake, cradling her gently, and listening to the sounds outside the tent.

She was still awake when Cullen came to rouse her and in the dim light from the fire, she saw doubt cross his features upon finding her awake. He opened his mouth, seemed to decide against whatever he meant to say, and nodded to her as he might nod to one of his men upon relieving them from duty.

Travelling with a baby was more of a challenge than Solana had expected, and she was relieved when they came to Redcliffe. She'd run out of napkins after her daughter had chosen to fill three of them within the space of an hour. She was obviously uncomfortable, making a whole range of sounds that she'd never made before.

"Don't look at me," Varric said when she started outright wailing. "Inquisitor's supposed to be babysitter."

But Max had been as much at a loss as Solana. Cullen had looked on helplessly, Cassey had reminded her that she, too, was a Circle mage and had never even seen a baby before. Hawke prodded Anders forward and, with a sigh, he examined her while she kicked and wiggled and yelled, eventually identifying a small irritated patch where her skin had been rubbed raw by the sling and the movement of the horse.

By that stage Solana, too, had been practically in tears. She wasn't a mother. She should have never been a mother. She knew nothing about babies and all she'd managed to achieve so far was making this one miserable.

When they stopped at a merchant so Anders could pick up some elfroot balm for the baby, Solana had handed her to a surprised Max and gone for a walk to clear her mind. She went along the docks, weaving through the crowds and hawkers. Wind whipped up off the water, icy and fresh in her lungs. She looked out at Redcliffe Castle and thought of Eamon and ashes and everything she'd once been.

Eventually Trevelyan found her. The baby was quiet in his arms, staring with fascination at the throngs of people. "We've booked some rooms at the Gull and Lantern for the night, but there's bad news. Ice on the lake, no passage. We're going to have to take the Imperial Highway."

"I'm sure Cullen's delighted," she said without looking at him. Nothing upset Cullen more than a carefully laid plan falling apart.

"I think he's still frothing at the ferryman."

Max fell silent, following her gaze. After a few minutes he chuckled.

"Care to share?" she asked him.

He shrugged. "I came here, shortly before you joined the Inquisition. A spell sent me forward in time. I just realised it sent me forward to about now. It's a little different."

"No Corypheus?" she guessed.

"Yes, and no rift, and no army of advancing demons. It's peaceful. I quite like it."

She smirked. "I know the feeling. It wasn't much fun while swarming with the living dead either."

They'd booked the rooms under false names, and Max kept a thick glove over his left hand to hide the glow. Still, the party squished around the very furthest, most shadowy table in the tavern when dinner time came around. Cullen ate and then retired quickly, with the excuse that he wished to plot their route for the next day. He ignored Varric's teasing that the Imperial Highway was a route. Solana suspected that he just wished to distance himself from her. If he was asleep before she returned to their room there would be no need to talk, no need to be aware of their proximity, of the fact that they were sharing a bed.

Hawke and Anders likewise left early. Hawke seemed troubled, but Solana dared not ask him why while Anders was there in case Anders was the reason. Then Cassey left, and Varric joined a game of Wicked Grace at a nearby table. Solana found herself alone with Max.

"So, the Hero, the Inquisitor and a baby walk into a bar…" she said, to break the ice.

He gave her the long-suffering look of a man who has heard more bad jokes in the last two days than any man should have to endure.

She held up her hands defensively. "Alright, I'll leave the jokes to Varric and Hawke."

Silence fell between them. She took a sip of her drink - water - and searched for something to say. Cullen likely wouldn't be asleep yet. It often took him ages to drift off. She couldn't excuse herself yet.

"So… what's the plan if anyone here recognises you?" she asked. The inn was rowdy. Noise swelled regularly from the table where Varric was playing cards and more and more people kept arriving. It was already packed and was only going to get worse.

"They won't," Max said, taking swig of his own drink. "No one knows what I look like. They know the hand. What about you? There's a statue right outside. Did you see it?"

She'd seen it the first time she'd come to Redcliffe after the Blight, looking for help for Cassey and Falin. It seemed like years ago. "It's not exactly in my likeness. Unless you're implying I look like a dragon?"

He chuckled and took another sip of his drink.

"Is that why you decided to join us? To be anonymous for a change?" she asked. She knew something of his plight in that regard.

His eyes narrowed. "I suppose so. Yes. But I wasn't the mastermind. Cass convinced me." A roar of laughter from the other table punctuated the statement. "I didn't mean for the subterfuge. I decided at the last moment. I miss being out of the fortress. This…" His eyes dropped to his mug. He ran a gloved finger through the circle of condensation it had left on the surface of the wood. "This reminds me of the early days. Camping along the road, telling fireside stories. None of the… fussing that comes with being Inquisitor. I don't dislike it, this role. Who would? But I do often wonder what things would be like if I weren't so… forgive me, I'm rambling." His eyes met hers and he gave her a small smile.

"I understand. Why do you think I ran?"

It was an admission she hadn't made out loud before, and while it sent a shock through her, Max's attention was drawn once again to Varric's table. "Do you think they'd let us join?"