Penelope picked up her bag and coat and left Derek in her office, shocked into silence. She knew that he didn't know what was coming to him, and as bad as she felt, he needed to hear it, all of it. A part of her did question whether or not she had forced his hand in making a decision he clearly wasn't ready for. That by taking herself out of the equation, he had to think fast about what would make her stay. That feeling was like lead in the pit of her stomach. As she drove her hands kept smoothing over her small baby bump. The runner in her just wanted to run, but with kids, and another one on the way, there was no hiding. At moments such as these she wished that she still had Mac to bounce off to, he always knew how to draw her out of the cobwebs in her mind.
Derek was so stunned at her words that his mind didn't immediately register that she had left the office. When he looked up to find her gone he sprung to his feet to follow her. He felt a panic in his heart. That she doubted whether or not he was all in. That what they had built was shaken by choices he had made. He drove home hoping that she would be there, and he sighed with relief as he saw her car parked out front. As he walked through the front door he could hear voices in the kitchen and found that Emily and Liv sitting at their kitchen counter as Penelope began to get dinner ready, he knew that she would have only arrived moments before him.
"Hey Morgan, long time no see." Liv greeted with a smile. They had literally parted over an hour before on the plane when she made the mad dash home.
"It's good to have you back in one piece Derek." Emily teased giving him a peck on the cheek.
"It's good to be back."
"The kids are at your Mom's. Jack and James wanted to bake and your Mom took them there so we could get dinner started here. You should go and see them, they've been really looking forward to seeing you." Penelope informed him without meeting his pleading gaze. She knew that there would be no talking for at least a few hours as everyone, he guessed would be over shortly.
It wasn't unusual for everyone to end up at the Morgan's after the case. In fact it was almost tradition. At that particular moment, Penelope had never been happier to have everyone over as she wasn't quite ready to talk to Derek just yet. It didn't take a profiler to see the tension between husband and wife. Though Penelope had not said anything to any of them, they too had been hearing the rumor mill. Everyone had seen right through the pretense that Penelope tried to project of normalcy. After Derek had walked everyone out to their cars he came back into the house with hope to sitting down with his wife and talking. When she was no longer in the kitchen he had guessed she had gone to bed. As he walked into their room he noticed that she wasn't there, neither were her pyjamas that normally lay on the foot of the bed. He found her on the day bed in Lottie's room, with Lottie sprawled against her chest sleeping peacefully. He eyes were closed, but he knew she wasn't asleep. He crouched down beside her.
"I want this. I want you. I want us. I screwed up P. I'm sorry. You have to know nothing ever happened between Tamara and I. I had the best of intentions and certainly didn't think that it would get to the point that it's at. She needed a friend, and I felt drawn to her, but P, never once did I think or want anything more than what we have." His voice pleaded with her. Penelope turned her head and opened her eyes to look at him. He could see the hurt and the doubt that lay behind her eyes and it broke his heart. She sighed, sitting up carefully not wanting to wake Lottie as she placed her back in her crib. As she stood by the crib watching their daughter sleep, Derek conjured up the courage he needed to approach her. Sliding his arms around her waist he gently pulled her close against his body.
"I'm sorry P." he whispered in her ear as she remained unresponsive.
"I'm sure you are Derek, but it doesn't change anything." She replied releasing herself from his embrace and laying back down on the day bed, with her back turned away from him and pulled up the covers to her chin and snuggled into position. Desperately he climbed into the bed, spooning close to her not afraid to let her go.
