Chapter Fifty Two
Annie awoke screaming. Flailing around, she tried desperately to escape the net that had ensnared her. She suddenly hit the floor with a painful thud and then realised that it was only her bedsheets that still had her feet trapped. Not the arena. Just her bedroom. Scrambling to her feet, she ran from the room and downstairs. Not the arena. Just her house. It didn't help. She didn't feel safe. She fled. Annie didn't realise that it had started raining again until she was halfway across the street. The cold water hitting her face startled her and then she realised that Finnick was still in the Capitol. He wasn't home. Even if she pounded on his door for the rest of the night, there was nobody home to answer it. So, she stood in the middle of the street with the rain coming down on her, not knowing what to do. The cold helped. The wet. Both of these things had helped her in the arena, floating in the floodwater, knowing that the water would save her and not the others. Cold and wet was good. It was safe.
Annie had just about calmed down when Mags shuffled up to her through the rain. The older woman didn't say a thing, just took Annie by the hand and led her to her house. Annie let Mags take her into her kitchen. "Sit." She did as she was told, watching Mags set the kettle to boil. "You're wet."
"It was raining…" Annie murmured, watching the kettle.
"Indeed." Mags shuffled out of the room and Annie continued to watch the kettle until she returned. "Here."
Looking up, Annie took the towel she was offered. "Thank you."
"If you take that off, I'll hang it to dry by the fire." Mags told her, handing her a large shirt and a coat. Annie looked at them.
"These aren't yours…"
"Finnick's." The woman replied simply. Annie quickly pulled her wet nightdress up over her head and gave it to Mags before putting the shirt on. It came to her thighs. She pulled the coat on after and wrapped her arms around herself. Annie's eyes closed as she let out a sigh; the coat smelled like Finnick. She leaned back in her seat as her heart rate returned to normal. "Don't forget to dry that hair." Mags told her. Annie opened her eyes and picked up the towel before beginning to dry her hair with it. "Feeling better?"
"Yes, thank you." Annie replied softly.
Mags pottered about for a few minutes before putting a large mug of hot chocolate down in front of Annie. "Drink."
"Thank you." Annie draped the towel over the chair beside her and picked up the mug. She took a small sip before looking across at Mags who had now taken a seat with her own mug of chocolate. "Are you going to ask me what I was doing in the rain?"
"You woke up from a nightmare." Mags replied, "You didn't feel safe so you went looking for Finnick, but you remembered he wasn't home only once you were in the street." Annie just looked at her. "Was that about right?"
Annie nodded, sinking deeper into the coat. "I… I didn't think…" She murmured, "I just started running…"
"That makes perfect sense." Mags told her gently. "Finnick is your safe place." Annie nodded again, fiddling with her mug, "If you would like, I can give you a key to his house. I am sure he wouldn't mind you spending some time there if you need to."
"Really?" Annie asked, "You think that would be okay?"
"Certainly."
"…Did you hear me?" Annie asked after a moment, "… My nightmare."
"Nightmares are not uncommon here." Mags told her. Annie knew that was a 'Yes'. Great. That was just what she needed. Everybody in the village knowing that she was waking up in the night screaming. Running a hand through her wet hair, Annie supposed that she probably had the most understanding neighbours possible. They all had nightmares. "Would you like to spend the rest of the night here?" Mags asked her.
"That would be nice, thank you." Annie nodded. She really didn't want to go home alone. Knowing that Mags was nearby would be comforting.
"Good. Drink your chocolate while it's hot. It'll make you feel better."
Annie nodded again, wrapping her hands around the mug. "Alright." She murmured.
Mags looked carefully at her. "Finnick will be home soon enough." Annie frowned, staring hard at the mug again. Three days wasn't soon enough.
"But what they're doing to him." She lifted her eyes to Mags who had now looked away.
"I know."
"He's not even twenty…" Annie breathed. She watched Mags look down at her own mug.
"I protected him for two years." The woman said quietly, "But when he turned sixteen, I couldn't…"
"He knows that you love him."
"I know." Mags nodded, looking at her again. "He needs that. He thinks that he's… tainted… by what they make him do." Annie blinked and the older woman continued, "He thinks he's not worthy of real love."
"That's…" Annie swallowed thickly.
"He's not sure he knows how to recognise what's real. He's so used to being surrounded by falsity." Annie looked back to her mug, processing Mags' words. Was that why Finnick had done nothing about their relationship? Was relationship even the appropriate word? She didn't know a better one. Whatever they had, she suspected that was the reason. Perhaps he was unsure of what was real. Surely he couldn't believe that he was unworthy of her. If anything, it went the other way.
"He can't think he's not worthy…" She choked, looking at the older woman. "He can't."
Mags set her mug down carefully on the table. "It needs to change." The woman said, "Before he becomes hard to everything."
Annie took another sip of her drink. When Finnick returned, she would have to make sure he felt worthy. There were several conversations they needed to have.
Once she and Mags had finished with the hot chocolates, the older woman took Annie upstairs and showed her to a spare bedroom. Mags had then hugged her and left her alone to get some rest. Annie closed the door and moved over to the bed. Pulling the covers back, she crawled beneath them and pulled them back up high around her throat. She hoped that wherever Finnick was in the Capitol right now, that he was alright. Where was it that they sent him when he wasn't with some Capitol person or other? Did they have a place they kept him, or was he free to go where he liked? She didn't know if she wanted to know the answer to that. Would he tell her if she asked?
Looking out the window, Annie watched the rain fall. Rain had always soothed her. Maybe if this weather kept up, she wouldn't wake screaming tomorrow night. Doing that every night would surely be draining. If Mags gave her the key to Finnick's house tomorrow, maybe she would sleep more soundly there. Just the thought of being surrounded by Finnick's things calmed her. Being in a room he spent time in, that smelled like him. Hopefully he wouldn't mind. She hoped that it wouldn't be crossing some line.
Yawning lightly, Annie snuggled further into the sheets. With any luck she would be able to sleep peacefully for the rest of the night. She had Mags if she had another nightmare, and that was good. Maybe she would go and visit her parents tomorrow, or have Tari come and stay with her. They had planned to do something like that a couple of days ago. There was no reason she couldn't do both. She would try to avoid the market, though. She really didn't want to run into that Haidee girl just yet. She didn't think she would be able to stop herself from doing the girl an injury.
Rolling over, Annie closed her eyes. She would get some rest and then she would decide in the morning. If it was still raining, she might just stay inside all day. She could do whatever she wanted. For now, she had that freedom. She would take complete advantage of it while she had the chance. She knew that soon enough she would be under control of the Capitol. The Victory Tour wasn't all that far away. But, not just yet.
Author's Note:
I'm guessing I weirded a lot of you out with that last chapter about Finnick as only like two people left me a review.
Sorry, guys. :P
