"It's so hard to trust people these days," complained Anakin as he reached with the Force to pull down food of some sort from a top shelf of the main market of the J'Spencer District of Kelph. "I mean, Rex, you could betray and kill me right now! Or Cody could try to kill Obi-Wan, while doing whatever task they are right now, the one that's so important we have to go grocery shopping for an entire legion of Clones alone. Don't you agree, Ahsoka?"
Ahsoka, who had been making eyes at a boy she had never seen before in order to get him to 'use those long, flexible arms to grab that can for me', nodded. "Of course! Paranoia is necessary in times of war, and galactic pandemics."
"Exactly! A pandemic, that's the last thing we need in the middle of a war, the reporters on the HoloNet telling us we're all going to die." In his frustration, he Force-squished several pieces of produce into unrecognizable multicolored piles of mush.
His actions quickly attracted the attention of the store's manager, who hurried over wearing a look of pristine stoicism so perfect that one would have passed him off easily as a Jedi. "Sir, I'm afraid that we're going to have to ask you to leave and pay for the damaged goods."
Hearing this, Ahsoka instantly recognized a golden opportunity to practice the delicate negotiating skills Anakin had been attempting to educate her in. "Sir, is it possible that my Master wasn't responsible for the incident at hand? I mean, the only evidence that you have to incriminate him is that he glared at the fruits in question, and then they more or less exploded. Surely it could have been any of us. It is premature and counterproductive to point fingers without an argument to back up your accusations, instead of attempting to find the one really responsible for this heinous act."
The manager gave her a blank stare, one which she met easily with her best façade of innocent young teenager. Then, as if remembering that he was supposed to be maintaining the universal 'I'm so patient that I could spend all day with a group of screaming younglings, and enjoy it!' expression, he suddenly was in possession of a much more knowing look. "Look, Miss-"
"You will not 'Miss' me! I want to know what your basis is, and I want to know now!"
Her opponent threw his hands into the air, although strangely enough, his exasperation had yet to break through what seemed to be a now-permanently emotionless visage. "Okay, then! Don't pay for the damaged fruits."
"We won't," replied Ahsoka in her perkiest voice, which actually contained an annoyingly high amount of perky. "Thank you!"
"Padawan, you'd make a master negotiator, or a pretty decent lawyer," commented Rex.
She glared at him. "Don't be insulting!"
Anakin decided that just then would be a good time to speak up with some kind and helpful Masterly advice. "You know Ahsoka, when a guy calls you rude names, the majority of the time it means that he likes you."
Judging by his expression, the clone commander was ecstatic, a little in his mouth, but the Togruta looked like she had just thrown up. "Really? Please tell me you're making a pathetic attempt at humor."
"Well, supposedly, anyway." He glanced down at the long shopping list, raising his eyes at the bottom half. "You know, Rex, if these sorts of things are really necessary, than I think you guys have too much spare time."
"Agreed, sir. Most unfortunate we can't have a battle to be killed in every day."
"Really. That's just bad planning on the Separatist's part." He sighed. "Well, I guess we're stuck with you until Grievous decides to get his lazy backside in action, so you might as well need…" he raised his eyebrows at the number listed in the 'quantity' column. "That many boxes? Seriously?"
"What can I say?" The clone, although the proper term is Uniquely Challenged Individual, shrugged. "My men like their magazines."
"Apparently so," muttered Anakin. "Who's the one asking for the 'Galactic Advice book: Why She Really Likes You, Despite that Piping Hot Drink She Threw in Your Face Last Time You Talked to Her- Edition Six'?"
Rex blushed and spluttered slightly. "I-I don't know. Probably Pathetic Joe."
"Master, I'm going to get some piping hot decoffé!" Ahsoka smiled as she flounced off.
The Clone Commander looked sick.
