~Ventress's POV~

It hurt. She could sense the pure, cold-blooded anger and hurt emanating off her mother in waves. She squirmed in the woman's warm arms, finding no solace in the blanket thrown over her face to hide her from the world. She wanted out, wanted free.

She wanted to see what hurt so much in this weird Awareness, in this heart-stopping knowing that she was just now starting to get control of, starting to feel with deeper clarity. She heard a deep voice, almost man-like say something, then the arms, pale and stick-like, yet strong and sure, extended. She felt a cold rush of air on her bare legs and bald head as the blanket fell way to reveal the sun, blinding her. She flinched away. It hurt. Then a new scent, and a new feeling of being lifted.

He did not feel like her mother, that one being above all beings who was shining star within the Awareness. He felt like nothing she had ever known, and the unfamiliarity of him made her shriek. She didn't like it, didn't like him. And the Awareness did not either. It sent a blazing premonition down her spine, making her squirm. She didn't like him.

She saw the face of mother, far off as he smiled at her with crooked teeth. She stared at his lumped, deformed face and screamed again.
He did not feel like the others, was not like the others. He was not love, support, hope and awe as her mother was in the Awareness. The others that had taken care of her, the other mothers, they were not as Light, but nor were they dark.

Dark, sluggish greed wafted over her in the Awareness, polluting the until now serene waters of her Awareness, sending a swirl of dead leaves into the water, stirring the stillness into chaotic waves with his devilish smile.

She didn't like the sensation of greed, of lust, of deep-rooted selfishness. That wasn't anything she had felt before. Her mothers lived for each other, for their life's ways… Never for themselves. In that way, they were Light. They had guided her to the Awareness.

It hurt to scream, because he merely threw her over his back, nothing like how her mother held her. She saw mother, she had turned away. she had turned away from her. It hurt to see such a thing.

A flash of confusion startled her further. Why was mother looking away? She could feel her pain, her hurt. Why did she not rock her, pick her up as she always did whenever the waters of the Awareness were clouded?

Who was this strange creature who had brought darkness to her mind for the first time? She did not like him, he hurt her, in ways that she had never been hurt before…

She screamed, screamed her mother's nameless, timeless name, and heard it echo back to her in the Awareness. That caused more pain, for it hurt her ears, and yet didn't, because it wasn't actually sound, but…

It hurt, Everything hurt. She hurt and mother hurt, and this man himself was hurt, was the reason for it. She hated him, hated the hurt he was causing, hated her mother for turning away when she needed her, for not preventing the darkness from touching her.

She hated, for the first time, and it was far from the last.

"Saji!" Asajj Ventress gasped, the world blurring back into focus with a ringing shout. Past and present switched roles, the force snapping into the here and now where Kai had always said she belonged. Now, Ventress was not so sure that she belonged here so much as she belonged to there. They were all of them merely consequences of their past, the past and the future, became the future eventually.

So what use was there in celebrating right now if then and later would inexplicably become one again?

It is way too early to be contemplating matters of meaning and life, Ventress reminded herself as she lightly pressed hands to her eyes. They were blurred by the deep meditation state she was half in. She groaned, head aching. She was not used to being woken in such a fashion. By the stars above, what woke me anyway? Her reason for celebrating the present had woken her.

Mara sat on her knees before her, peering into Asajj's face cheerfully. "Hey, Saji!" she crowed when she noticed Asajj focusing on her. Asajj couldn't help but smile at the happy-go-lucky face of her young friend. Mara's nights had been thankfully nightmare free ever since that blasted ground quake the few weeks before.

And ever since, her control of the force and been growing, Mara practicing with a new devotion and skill that had surprised Ventress so much that even she had begun practicing too. But it was rather hard to use Dark Side when there was an eleven year old child beside you, giggling at herself as she levitated objects in the room with palpable ease. The Dark Side was supposed to be used with anger, hatred…

Yet how did you hate Mara?

The answer was that she couldn't. Asajj wouldn't hate the kid, because she was…Mara. Or something. I'm pretty sure a Jedi would know, Asajj reflected, as she stretched her arms above her head. Her nights had not been so peaceful. Mara's own demons had fled, but hers were acting up again. Flashes of her past with Dooku as a slave; being taken away from her mother;the murder of the Night sisters; the cold hard days of wandering downtown Courascant looking for meaning.

Until the Rebellion had come along, and she had seen an opportunity for purpose, for revenge. These dreams were not so uncommon, what was uncommon was the cryptic message that Ky kept leaving with her, the only thing heard was his voice, echoing between the scenes of her dismantled life. "Asajj…the Grandfather clock, its about to go out…Be ready to fight…Be ready…The grandfather clock," his voice was static in the dreams, as if he were breaking up over comm. Link, as if he were floating in and out of range.

Ventress shook her head. Ky had never had trouble getting into her head before. And though she may have not believed Nava before when the Jedi had spoken of the cryptic message given by her own dead master, now something was definitely up…If a Dark Side user was getting the same message… But you aren't Dark, are you, my servant? You use love to fight, not hate.

Yes, well. She still called herself Dark, because Light sounded too…Good to be true. For now. "Yeah, kid, I'm awake," she assured Mara, turning her mind back to the present person. "What time is it?" She asked. Mara plopped down before herconvivially, propping a knee up.

She had already dressed and brushed her hair back into a single braid of golden fire, as was her wont now. Ventress wondered who had taught her to do that…She certainly had little hair to braid and force knew Mara hadn't ever raised a hand to groom herself before they had met.

I swear she has a secret double life that I don't know about. Someone has to be teaching her to use the Force, and someone has to be improving her mannerisms, Ventress thought, once again stumped for an answer of who had been teaching her partner this stuff. Not that she was not glad, per se, just… Uncomfortable. She didn't know why. And Mara's mental shielding practices had also gotten better, which meant that Ventress couldn't just tap into her brain and search for available memories of lessons, not that she would ever.

"Afternoon. Don't you have meeting today?" Mara inquired, with sharp, intelligent emerald eyes.

"Tonight, actually. Why? Trying to get rid of me, kid?" Ventress asked as she stood, feeling her knee joints pop. She exhaled slowly. That felt nice.

"Well, I can't miss you if you won't leave already," Mara drawled, then danced away from Asajj's playful swipe.

"Brat," she scolded. Mara laughed and nodded.

"Too true, Saji! You meditated a long time," she observed.

Asajj nodded. "With the rate you're going in, soon enough you'll be able to meditate that long too," she told the youngster.

Mara's face lit up. "We can meditate together!" She cried. The energy of joy in her voice made Asajj smile.

"Yeah," she agreed, with a pat on the head. She walked past, heading into the fresher to get some real clothes on.

Mara started rummaging in the kitchen. "We need to go shopping again!" She called out. Asajj nodded. She had assumed that last night when they had eaten the last of the eggs. For some odd reason, Mara had insisted on having breakfast for dinner. She's a strange little kid, she thought, splashing some cold water into her face. It would do no good for her to get facial bumps now, not when she was pale enough already.

Asajj looked up, and almost gasped when she saw her own reflection sneering back at her in the dirt stained mirror, face twisted into a mutilated sneer of contempt and cruelty. The harsh looking tattoos on her head sniggered at her, the Dark Side whispering reminders in her ear. Do not forget who you belong too, child, do not forget who you are. The image faded, leaving her staring at her own shocked expression. Did I really look that way? Like a demon? True, she was no beauty now, but Ventress knew that the callous lines of her face had dimmed into softened features, she had fattened so as not to look like a corpse fresh from the grave.

"Kriff," she muttered, rubbing her eyes. She had used the Dark Side for a long time now, and it never did let go of its slaves. There were very few who did not serve for life. That's why I can't let Mara succumb to the Dark Side. Not now. This thought was not new to her, the very image of Mara's emerald eyes staining into a vicious gold…. She shivered. No while she lived and breathed.

But nor will she be some sacrificial servant for the Light, some expendable Jedi, Ventress determined. She won't have to die like Ky did, she'll know who's boss. And it won't be anyone she doesn't want to be. The girl will be strong. She must be strong. Mara appeared in the dirty doorway, kicking aside the clothes both left lying out on the floor. They were not the cleanest of peoples. Dirt and other things lay in the corners, the walls were unsanitary. Asajj wondered if maybe she should take a day to clean the place they called home.

After all, there might have been all sorts of insects and diseases lurking in the corners of the apartment, and Mara getting sick was not an option. "Hey, Saji, hurry up! If we don't get out shopping now, then…" Mara's words trailed off when she looked up into Asajj's face. The Force poked at her curiously, Mara's worry a very vibrant reality. Asajj smiled weakly. "You okay?" Mara asked.

Ventress nodded, and straightened up. "I'm fine," she answered curtly. "Why wouldn't I be? Tell you what, let's go to Dex's for breakfast," she offered. Usually Mara would have jumped at the chance, but her attunement in the force had upped her awareness of Ventress's real intentions. There was not much Mara did not know about her.

Except for her past. That, Mara must never know.

"We don't have any money," Mara pointed out, instead of voicing the suspicions Ventress saw all too clearly on her face.

"No, but we have our feminine charm," she agreed, using the Force to snatch her boots from the corner. She sat on the toilet (that really needed a good scrubbing. She privately volunteered Mara for the onerous task) and proceeded to buckle them on tight.

There was another Rebel meeting tonight at the Palace. Maybe I should tell them my dream, her lips thinned at the thought that Yavin would more than likely burst out laughing that she had had the exact same vision as the Jedi she had accused of false worry. Pride goes before a fall, Asajj, she told herself wearily.

"What's that?" Mara inquired curiously.

"Its the charm of the feminine race. You don't need to know everything about it yet, and I hear you ask Dex and I'll lock in a closet for all eternity," she warned, walking past to try and locate her saber. She really ought to stop loosing that thing.

"Its underneath the sink," Mara informed her as she patted her own saber.

"Ah," how and why it was there was lost to the memory of the force. "Yes. Anyway, we're going," she decided.

"Its dinnertime now, Saji," Mara pointed out. Ventress went on her knees within the sink, pressing a hand inside.

"Yeah? Well, we had breakfast for dinner last night. Might as well have dinner for breakfast today," she supposed. Mara nodded.

"True…." A moment of hesitant silence. "Saji?" Asajj pulled out her lightsaber, wiping the dampness on its steel hilt off on her shirt.

"Hmm?" She asked, feeling the Force swish warily around Mara.

"Who's Ky?" Asajj froze.

The shock did not last as long as the alarm. "Where did you hear that name?" She snapped, twirling around.

Mara jumped at the severity in her voice. "You said it!" She cried defensively. "When you were sleeping last night…and the night before…You kept shouting his name," she informed her. Asajj went pallid, heart skipping beat. How to explain this? How to talk his name aloud to a child who knew nothing about the ways of the universe, the peril that went with being…Special? Damn me for a fool, she cursed herself. She hadn't realized the affect her nightmares were having on her. "Saji?" Mara remained at a suitable distance, having learned that Asajj did not take kindly to having people in her personal space. Yet the girl was undaunted in her quest for answers.

She would make a talented servant, the dark whispered. The enticement shocked Ventress-scared her- so much that the words tumbled from her mouth without her permission. "He was a Jedi master. He taught me everything I know," thrice damn me for an idiot!

Mara's eyes grew wide with delight. "You were trained by a Jedi Master? Cool! Where is he? Is he a slave, too?" She asked eagerly.

Asajj's gut clenched. "No," she growled, abruptly getting to her feet. Her heart tripped over itself in its need to stay contained, to keep grief within where it could be sheltered, where it could be used. She walked past Mara roughly, barely acknowledging the young presence jump back as if Asajj were a stampeding herd of Xezno deer. "He's dead. He was killed, long ago," Mara gasped from behind her, but said nothing. Asajj did not speak either. Ky's face flashed before her eyes, the pale expression of his body that had turned cold.

She exhaled slowly, feeling the familiar anger and anguish build up. She had been happy a minute ago, she had been fine a second ago. The past was in the past. Far be it for her or Mara to bring it back.

"Come on," she growled, grabbing a cloak from the floor as she stormed from the room. She was going to Dex's, and leaving the pain that name inspired behind. She was going forward, even if it killed her to do so. Even if the Shroud of the Dark Side was too kriffing strong, and this was a futile battle. Mara quickly followed on her heels. And silently, they headed out for something to eat.

Later:

The Force fairly sang with a straight and heavy bad feeling. Menace stripped her spine of backbone, rushing to throb at her temples intensely. Ventress did not know if it were only the bitter aftertaste of The Dark Side throwing Ky's name in her face by way of Mara Jade, but something was making her uneasy.

Perhaps it was the Dark Side's wonderful insistence on having her young friend as another slave. Ventress dallied by the door, peering into the darkened night of Courascant, stomach roiling though she showed none of it.

"Remember not to look out of the windows. Landlord doesn't need to know I have a kid in here," she grunted at the young force sensitive behind her. Mara nodded, reaching for Ventress's cloak, which she then handed to her.

"I got it, Saji," she sighed. "I'm not a baby anymore," she griped. Ventress smiled, bitterly.

How much Mara would wish that were not true, later on in life. For now, though… "I want you to practice the dragon's keep technique while I'm gone," she instructed like a good mentor.

Mara's eyes lit up at the assignment. "That's a hard one!" She cried. Ventress nodded, her mind too preoccupied to wonder how Mara even knew what it was yet without having to be told.

"Yes," she agreed. "But you can handle it," she opened the door, then hesitated. They would be starting the meeting pretty soon at the Palace. She looked back over her shoulder at Mara, standing lone in the midst of a chaotic jumble of massed idiocy. And suddenly all Asajj wanted to do was stay. She wanted to throw the entire idea of the rebellion into the folder of past mistakes and remain, clean the apartment up, or just plain grab Mara and get her to a real house, in a real place where there were no Sith to want to turn her to the Side of malice and hatred, no Jedi to save, no Chosen One to keep an eye on, no spies, no Rebellion, no evil…

She wanted to keep her safe, forever. She wanted to give Mara a safe life. And knew she could not.

She sighed, heart suddenly heavy. It seemed that the galaxy was out to get them. "See you later, kid," she threw over her shoulder. However, Mara had already moved to the middle of the room, though, centered deep within the force's currents, her bodily movements slow and sure as she practiced the intended material. Ventress smiled. She was more dutiful than she had ever been.

Ventress closed the door, heading into the night.


~Mara's POV~

Every moment was one within the Force, every instance, every life, every death and war and victory was all one and the same. Even Mara, with her fiery red hair and motherless life, Sith education and run-away status was one with even the greatest of minds and most noble of people in the force. The thought caused a bubble of smugness to grow in her chest.

The Force was not careless, though it was indifferent to suffering, yet careful of placing as it wove the weaving of life and death, despair and hope, peace and war into the eternal threads.

Mara wondered what they would look like. Before, she doubted she would have cared at all. The Force eddied around her as leaves swirl around a common center, creating a small tornado in some small square because that's just what it did.

It wasn't evil so much as natural; was not commanding so much as command. The force wasn't in her so much as it was her. That was the reason she stood, in the exact same spot for half an hour after Asajj left, following her teacher through the Force, honed unto her signature like a predator tracking prey through the jungles.

She had read about those when she were took pride in knowing that she was not that young anymore. Training lessons with Luke and Leia had given her knowledge of the Force on a scale she had never believed she could achieve. They had taught her lessons of wisdom and compassion, Jedi stuff in reality.

Saji didn't know, which was Mara's only regret. I wish I could show her she reflected with frustration. I wish I could show her what I can do. Who I can be. What Luke and Leia say I can be if I can only learn to be good.

Goodness. Like a Jedi. Did she want to be a Jedi, then? Mara had no clue. She knew only that she wanted to be good. Cocking her head as if listening for sound, Mara waited patiently until she sensed, with a bone-deep conviction, that Asajj was at the Palace. Good.

She would be too busy with her Rebel friends to notice Mara's stealthy practice with the Force. Maybe I won't even practice any more Force stuff tonight, Mara thought, with a casual freedom Tarkin had never allowed her.

Since Saji will be so close. Mara's shielding skills may have been impeccablebut not perfect, Luke had said. She had merely smiled at him.

Weeks of hiding from a Sith madman on the plains of physical and disparate realities had given her many skills, some less noticeable than others. All the same, she liked Luke. He was nice, and brave. And he believed in was more than most other people could ever had planted her with. Slowly, she lowered her leg from the position she had had it in, hand instinctively going to her Lightsaber.

"This is an extension of self, your life, your honor," Leia had told her, azure eyes flashing with seriousness as she waved it in front of Mara's face. "It can and will save your life in the times to come. Learn it, live with it, love it," she had ordered. "And another thing, kid? Next time we get attacked by garbage people, aim for the neck!" Han had added in his characteristic blundering way. Mara had set to doing that.

Her hand always went to her hip, where the Lightsaber lay, as if her fingers were called to cradle the weapon as an eternal occupation. She glanced around as her eyes readjusted from being in deep meditation.

The first thing to become noticeable was the fact that the apartment lights were still on. I guess I probably should have thought to turn them off, since Saji doesn't want the landlord knowing that I'm here, Mara thought guiltily. Saji would kill her if she figured out Mara had been so careless. Mara sighed, and glanced out of the dirt smudged window, they really needed to clean up in here. Even the Sith Palace looked like it was covered with dirt when it was just the window.

Lights twinkled in the air, speeders and air-cars swooped past the giant building. The senate Building was off to the side, reeking of greed and indulgence, the downward spiral that power started all its victims on, and rarely any of them ever found a way off.

It reminded her of her father. Tarkin was a powerful man, an orderly man…A man with no time for children. Mara felt her jaw clench. I don't have to worry about him anymore, she reminded herself fiercely, trying to banish the anger thoughts of her father caused. She had Saji, and her friends.

She could use the Force now. Tarkin couldn't touch her, neither could Sidious, they did not matter to her, didn't scare her as they had when she had first run away. Speaking of running away, I think its time to go. The others would be wondering where she was.

Mara quickly stretched out her cramped muscles (that technique was hard!) and slid over to the light-switches. No sooner had she sent the apartment into complete darkness with a few swats of the Force that it suddenly skewered her spine with a jolt of alarm. Mara gasped softly as the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end.

She didn't know what, but something was about to happen.

I have a bad feeling about this, her hand clenched around her Lightsaber as Mara twirled around, eyes searching the small apartment for any signs of movement. She had the strangest feeling that someone was watching her. She was about to turn the lights back on, landlord be damned, when a sudden hand banged at the door.

"Ventress!" A male voice on the other side of the door shouted. An image of the garbage creatures reaching out large, sickly hands flashed before her eyes. Mara dove for the ground, flattening herself instinctively.

Raised voices had taught her early on that you got down, made yourself smaller. There was less to hit if you did that. She had never thought that her father's abuse would teach her survival skills so adequately. "Asajj! Ventress, open up! I know you're in there! Ventress!" The voice continued to shout. Mara looked up from where she had taken refuge amongst the other pile of laundry and force-knew-what that Saji threw on the floor.

Had Mara's heart not been thumping painfully hard against her chest and the Force ringing danger in her ears, she would have found the irony of this hilarious. But now was not the time. She narrowed her eyes, stretching the Force out to feel who was at the door. There were several people out there, actually. Perhaps four or five, she couldnot tell. Mara's mind raced for an explanation. Saji had all sorts of friends.

Maybe it was just another Rebel looking for her. But Mara had sensed her go to the meeting, and no Rebel had ever come to their door before. Wasn't that dangerous, anyway? For a minute, Mara thought about yelling at them to go away, but that was declared out of the question when a harsh face stuck itself in the windows, darkened by night's shroud and the dirt piling in between the cracks.

He looked young, older than her though, and obviously was not much taller than her judging by how he nearly jumped to see into the room. Mara forced her body into absolute stillness, not even daring to breathe. Who were these people? She searched the Force, but it was clouded by her own disquiet and the darkness that slithered around the people outside.

"Ventress! We know you're here! You won't get away with what you did to me!" The man yelled once more. Mara could sense he was mad. "Open up, come face me! Ventress, you hear me? No one humiliates Boba Fett and gets away with it!" Boba Fett? Mara scowled. She had heard that name before, but from where? And perhaps more importantly, who had said it?

"Ventress!" He continued to bang against the door. It was starting to annoy her now. "I'll give you until five to open this door, you cowardly vetch! Or else I'm busting in, and I swear this time I'm taking your head back with me!" Mara's blood ran cold, not in fear. Who in the hells did that blasted chosski think he was calling a cowardly vetch? Surely he had no idea that if Saji were here she would snap him in half?

Well, I'm afraid he's about to find out the hard way, she thought, hand clenching about her saber. She could take a small detour before she went to visit the others, and besides, how dangerous could this guy be? She had taken on garbage monsters and Sidious's Personal Guard!

Get ready, sleemo. No one calls Saji a vetch in front of me. "One!" Boba started counting down. Mara rolled her eyes. Ventress would have killed the fool by now, and this time Mara would not have stood in the way. "Two!" Was he ever going to get done with this?

"Three!" It occurred to Mara that she should have a plan. "If you know what you're doing, then you probably aren't doing it right," she recited her own personal mantra.

"Four!" Mara sighed. She was getting tired of this. The fact that she could sense that he had to think about the numbers before he kept counting was beginning to irk her.

"Five!" Mara ducked her head as suddenly, with a loud smack, the door went flying into the room, turning head over heels like a rolling wave.

In the doorway stood Boba Fett and five other bounty hunters, and if the Force gave any real indication, then they were out for blood. She had the element of surprise on her side, though. And the Force as an ally. "Ventress!" Mara stood, slowly.

Boba noticed her. He squinted his eyes into the darkness, straining to see her. He was Mandalorian, it looked like. Or…He actually looked sort of like a Stormtrooper. His hazel eyes glimmered with steel malice. Mara decided that darkness was once again her friend. Then again, its goes both ways. He can't see me. I can't see him. But she could still sense him.

Mara saw him tense as the others walked into the room, spreading out as if they were shadows on the wall, surrounding her. "Hey! Is that you, you no-good witch?" He shouted, pointing his blaster at her. Ventress's voice rang in her mind. "I would be able to sense it. Trust me. People have tried to poison me too…Because they didn't like me,"Mara let a cold smile flit across her face.

"I'm not Ventress," she replied softly. "But don't worry, I'll tell her you stopped by…After I get done with you," she promised. The others, shrouded in shadow surrounding her, also pointed various weapons at her. Mara cocked a brow at the knives, pistols, blasters and swords aimed for her head.

Well, this should be interesting.

"Who are you?" Boba growled. "Where's Ventress?" He demanded Mara shrugged lightly, saber flying from her belt into her hand. She enjoyed the low rumble it made when the red blade slithered out; reanimating as if it had only been asleep.

The red glow brightened the room, illuminating everything in a terrifying flush of power. The others gasped and too a cautionary step back, but did not retreat as Mara had thought they might. "Sith!" Boba hissed.

"Not exactly," Mara replied, lip curling at the title. "The name's Mara. I'm the cowardly vetch's partner," she swung the saber in the waning arc Luke had told her about.

Boba snorted with disdain and disbelief. "Ventress has a partner?" He scoffed. Mara took his lack of faith as a personal insult.

But before she could reply with some witty comeback worthy of Han's tongue, Boba continued. "Whatever," he decided, waving a dismissive hand. "Tell us where Ventress is so we can go," he commanded. Her saber growled.

"Make me," she hissed.

Boba's eyes widened with surprise momentarily, then he grinned cruelly, his excitement creating an electrical shock in the Force. "Okay then," he chuckled. "Let's play."