Hey guys first of all: I'm really sorry it took me this long to write something for Knives. It's just taking its toll in me. It's getting kinda dark and if your own life isn't on track… I can say it isn't a very good combination.
Thanks for sticking with me and a thank you the ones reviewing adding me onto their alerts and all. You guys keep me going. Enough talking, here we go!
Gwen walked into the studio, swiftly followed by Rat who made sure the door got locked. "Jules!" she called as the heavily tattooed woman looked up from a stack of paintings.
"Gwen! Jesus what the hell happened to you?" she immediately asked before embracing Gwen into a tight hug.
"Can't breathe," Gwen winced as her ribcage started to hurt again. Julia quickly took a step back and took Gwen in. Gwen peeled off her gloves and showed her fingertips that were covered with band aids. "You should see what's underneath those fuckers." She could practically feel the disapproval rolling of Rat, but she didn't give a shit. Julia was someone she could trust.
"Damn," Julia whispered. "I promised that I wouldn't ask, so I won't. But seriously Gwen, You're freaking out. Even more when that weird ass customer of yours managed to find our home address."
"Please don't remind me," Gwen sighed.
"What customer?" Rat asked.
"Not meant for your ears Rat," Gwen told him. Rat sighed, rolled his eyes and sat down on the couch. "Oh Rat this is Julia, Jules this is Rat. I'm not sure if you two met before."
"Yeah we did. He poured me drinks half the night, before he just decided to give me a whole bottle instead," Julia smirked. "He couldn't keep up."
"You drink fast."
"Yeah, I think she would be a real competition for Chibs," Gwen smiled.
"Come on, stop talking, let's get going," Julia said. "I'm in charge right now. You've been slacking girl." She scolded Gwen.
"Yeah, I'm well aware." So the two girls were moving around paintings. Sometimes they asked Rat for help who actually seemed to be happy to be actually doing something. Julia put new prices on most of the paintings, saying that Gwen could ask way more.
They sorted many paintings, before Rat told Gwen it was time to pack her shit and head back to the clubhouse. "Jules?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you have your tattoo machine with you and shit?"
"No, I left them at home. Why? You want it now?"
"Yeah I think so. I don't think when I'll find the time. I mean I look and feel like shit so I can handle a bit of extra pain I guess."
"I normally wouldn't agree, but if you can make sure Happy will lend his tattoo stuff to me, and maybe knows a spot where I can work… then yeah. If not, you gotta wait."
"Alright, I'll keep you posted."
"Good. I'll just keep on working here so everything is done. Pack some shit up and all."
"Thanks Jules," Gwen gave her best friend a hug
"Listen to me Gwen, you gotta give me more than you gave me just then. I'm worried. I need to know how bad it is," Jules whispered in her ear. Gwen pretended to laugh and nodded. Rat gave both women a weird look before she got escorted out of her studio by him.
"You sure you can tell her all that shit?" Rat asked Gwen as they walked towards the van. Gwen nodded.
"Yes. She's my best friend. She helped me out on many occasions. She's family to me. She will never bring me in danger like that," she said. They got into the car and they slowly drove back towards the clubhouse. "I'm sorry that you're on babysitting duty again."
"It's alright," Rat said. "Means they trust me."
"That they do." She said as she started out of the window.
"You think they'll let me be prospect for much longer?"
"Just don't give them a reason to keep you prospect longer than a year. Just don't fuck up," Gwen said. She thought back at half sack. She missed that guy.
"I heard that something happened with the last prospect… I mean not to pry, but… why didn't he made the cut?" Gwen sighed.
"I wasn't there thankfully," she started. "But he died when he tried to protect Abel and Tara. Fucking Irish piece of shit took him to Ireland. He was a good guy. Kind of an idiot at times, but a good idiot. He didn't deserve it." Gwen sighed and looked at Rat who seemed to pay attention to the road. "They laid a cut on his chest. Fully patched. They just discussed when he would get fully patched. Basically he was ready to be a full member and only had maybe one month of prospecting left. Can't remember exactly."
What she did remember in great detail were the deaths that followed that night. Death of an innocent kid. Hale cruelly being run over by a car. She hadn't liked him very much, but he just did his job. You can't really blame someone for doing his or her job in Gwen's opinion.
Not too many days later she ended up in Ireland. Got shot. Killed two people. So much death.
"Gwen? Gwen you still there?" Rat asked her. Gwen shivered and nodded.
"Yeah just thoughts," she said. They arrived back at Teller Morrow.
The situation at the clubhouse was tense and Gwen still didn't get any wiser about what was going on in the last couple of hours. Gwen had placed her brother's cut in Tig's closet. Her brother's room was now finally empty. Julia had texted her some updates and said she had to redraw the tattoo, since she didn't have her design with her. Gwen didn't mind. As long it would be put on her body today.
Gwen got her hands out of the baking soda and carefully dried her fingers with a clean towel. It already started to look a little better. The swelling was becoming less and soon the redness would disappear as well. At least that was what Gwen hoped. She just had to keep up this routine.
She emptied the bowl in the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. She frowned at her own reflection and quickly walked out of the bathroom. She got out of Tig's room and walked out onto the compound of Teller-Morrow. She saw Happy sitting at one of the benches having a smoke.
"Hap, can I ask you something?" He looked at her, telling Gwen it was okay. "I was wondering if Julia could borrow your tattoo equipment and such? And maybe know a spot where she can work?"
"You're going to get tattooed?" he asked. Gwen nodded. "Tell her to come pick it up. Need to explain some shit to her." Gwen shook her head.
"No, I need her to stay away from this, just bring it to her if you can? Or I'll take it with me." Happy wasn't happy with her. She could easily read that from his face. He was worried.
"What's going on?" He asked. Gwen sighed and sat down on the edge of the table.
"I'm not safe. I don't even know if I'm safe here," Gwen said. "I'm selling my studio and I'm preparing for the worst."
"You're gonna split?" he asked. Gwen sighed.
"I don't know Hap. I just hope for something to stop me," she said looking up at the bright sky.
"I am," Happy said. "You're not gonna flee out of Charming just because you're scared. We can protect you."
"Would you protect me if I need protection from a member?" she asked him softly, so only he could hear. Happy remained silent and looked up at her.
"What the hell did you do?" he finally asked.
"It's purely hypothetical," Gwen tried to reassure him. "Like I said, I don't even know if I'm safe here."
"Bullshit."
"If that's what you think." Gwen knew Happy noticed that she was lying. Maybe it was for the better.
"And you still expect me to help you with your tattoo after you told me this shit?" he asked her.
"I don't know what you think I told you, but… I don't expect you to help me Hap, I just really hope you will. This tattoo means a great deal to me." Happy sighed.
"Tig is gonna kill me for this if he finds out."
"He won't," Gwen told him. "And if he does just tell him that I threatened to cut your balls off. And I'll just blame it on my period." Happy shook his head, but she could see a small grin.
"I'll call the shop, ask them when they got time. Five sounds 'bout right?" Gwen nodded. "You better fucking tell me what's going on. Whether it's real or not. I wanna know. Soon."
Around five thirty Julia was setting up her appointed station and Happy explained something about his machine. The thing seemed pretty basic, but apparently every machine had its own qualities. A different brush almost. At one point Happy left Julia to do her work and turned his attention to Gwen. "What ya getting?" he asked Gwen, snapping her out of her thoughts. She grabbed the design from the desk and showed it to Happy. Happy didn't say anything for a while. Even Julia stopped prepping her station to hear what he was about to say. "Looks good," he finally said. "Suits you." He looked up at Gwen, his eyes told her he knew why she was getting it. What it represented to her. "I'll see it when it's done, gotta head back. Shit might have changed."
"Thanks Hap," Gwen said standing up and embracing him in a hug. He returned it awkwardly. She let go of him fairly quickly and gave him an apologetic smile.
"And you better clean it once you're done," Happy reminded Julia. Julia snorted and rolled her eyes.
"What? Do you really think I'm some sort of hobbyist? Once I'm done with her you will be begging to teach you a new thing or two," Julia told him with sweet smile.
"Oh God," Gwen muttered. "I don't even wanna imagine how your bedroom talk would go." Happy just grinned and walked out of the shop making the doorbell ring. When Gwen looked at Julia, she had a tiny smile playing on her lips.
"I'm ready when you are," Julia said when she finished setting everything up. Gwen took off her shirt and bra and let Julia apply the stencil. Gwen didn't need to check whether she liked the spot, she just let do Julia do her thing. She'd told Gwen that her sternum would hurt like a bitch, but then again, what didn't hurt at the moment? A little extra pain she could handle. "Well here we go," Julia said as she placed the needle on her skin with a buzzing sound.
She had no idea how long she was sitting, but it was getting harder and harder to remain still. Julia asked her if she wanted to cut it into two sessions, but Gwen refused. She could do this. Jules had been working on her for more than six hours, several breaks included, when she finally pulled away from her work and wiped away the excessive ink and some blood that had appeared. She looked at it another time and smiled. "All done," she said softly. Gwen slowly sat up in the chair. She could swear that the shop owner was checking her out, but she didn't care. She walked towards the mirror and looked at herself. She turned around and smiled at Julia.
"Thank you," she whispered before tears appeared in her eyes. Julia walked up to her and squeezed her shoulder. It weren't sad tears this time. It were happy tears.
Julia had left her car at Gwen's place and they decided to take a midnight walk back. It wasn't like they had much of a choice, or they should call for a taxi, which were hard to get around this hour. "It fucking burns," Gwen groaned.
"You asked for it," Julia said with a smile. "You sat like a champ though."
"Pff what the hell are you talking about? I practically begged for breaks," Gwen laughed.
"Oh yeah, that you did. But still, I'm happy with it."
"So am I."
"So what's your next piece going to be? You better start planning, because I'm sure you will want another one."
"Oh, you're right. I want another one. Maybe to cover up that nasty scar on my shoulder."
"Yeah, how the hell did you get that one anyways?" Gwen immediately shot Julia a look, who said a soundless "Oh". Gwen suddenly snorted. "What is it?"
"Do you remember the first time you wanted to teach me how to cook, and how I managed to fucking burn a goddamn egg?"
"Oh my god, I forgot about that! You would eat fucking pizza every three days just because you knew how to use an oven, but you didn't know how to make a decent meal."
"Seriously, you saved me from some major malnutrition issues there. Next time I'll cook for you. Then you'll see your lessons were indeed successful."
"Of course they are," Julia snorted.
"Don't get cocky." Gwen scolded her. The walk was actually kinda nice. It was quiet. Her head was quiet. That didn't happen that much anymore. Actually it was more of a rare occurrence lately. "What time are you leaving tomorrow?"
"I'll leave Charming around ten. I gotta be at the studio around seven to help load all those paintings of yours. I'll make sure I will sell them as soon as possible so you got a little bit more of money."
"I just suck as a business person," Gwen sighed.
"Yup that you do. Don't worry 'bout it. I'll take care of it. As long as I can pick like three paintings for the shop and maybe one for my home."
"You go ahead babe. I already own some artwork of you right now and it's kinda permanent."
"Actually you should learn how to tattoo. I love you art, you already know that. Would love to get something of you on my body," Julia told her. Gwen blushed a little.
"I'm not capable of doing that," Gwen muttered. "Thank you, but you might wanna find a tattoo artist who can copy my work."
"Nah, not gonna do that. I don't give a shit if we're already in our fifties when you're finally able to hold a tattoo machine and make a decent tattoo… I want one. An original one."
"Alright Jules," Gwen smiled. "I'll just give you a shaky X then," she joked, making Julia laugh. They kept on walking in silence when they suddenly heard a gunshot coming from a house on their left. Julia gripped on her Gwen's arm tight and they looked at each other.
"Call 911, I'm going in," Gwen said immediately.
"Shit Gwen!" Julia called as she was busy with her phone.
Gwen grabbed the gun from her purse and got the safety off. She got into the house. It was completely dark, but she could see that some lights upstairs were on. "Shit! Shit! Let's get outta here!" Gwen hid behind a wall when the three people quickly ran down the stairs and out of the house. Gwen immediately ran up the stairs and her eyes grew wide.
"Fuck," she muttered as she saw Rita lying on the floor with a shot wound in her stomach. "Rita? Rita! Can you hear me?!" Gwen called as she grabbed a blanket from the bed and put pressure on her wound.
"Y-eah," was her soft reply. "It hurts," she whispered. "The baby."
"Calm down," Gwen said. "Help is on its way." Gwen saw the phone lying on the ground and noticed there was sound coming from the other end, but she couldn't pay attention to it, she had to help Rita. Gwen snapped her neck and saw Julia standing in the doorway.
"Help is on its way. I'm still on the phone with them."
"Tell them she might be pregnant and to fucking hurry." Julia kept on talking to the emergency room and got a towel and helped Gwen to apply pressure to the wound.
"Stay with me Rita," Gwen told her firmly. Rita barely was able to keep her eyes open and it worried Gwen. "Come on Rita, you gotta. Talk to me, please," she almost begged.
"I'm scared," she whispered.
"Don't be. You're gonna be fine. Just stay with me alright." They tried to keep talking to her and replaced the towel one more time before they could finally heard the sound of sirens that finally reached the house. "Hide my gun," Gwen whispered to Julia who quickly hung up the phone. She quickly put it in Gwen's bag without question.
The paramedics immediately came into the room and took over. Gwen backed up and looked at Julia who looked incredibly calm, but she saw how pale she had gotten. The paramedics quickly went downstairs followed by Gwen and Julia. When they got outside there was a police car flashing its lights and the ambulance seemed ready to go.
Gwen caught eyes with a female police officer who waved them over. "Come with me," she said gently. "I'll take you two to the hospital we talk there." Julia looked at Gwen and nodded.
"Alright," Gwen said slipping into the backseat. Thankfully she didn't ask any questions. Julia squeezed Gwen's hand not only trying to comfort her, but also herself.
Julia looked outside and saw the lights flashing by. Apparently this was the Charming life.
"Jesus fucking Chris," Tig said as he walked into the hospital together with Happy. When he walked through the almost empty hallway of the hospital he saw Gwen sitting next to Julia. He didn't believe it. He barely made it out of prison and now Gwen was in a hospital waiting. He saw Julia nudge Gwen and pointed in his direction. Gwen immediately got up and walked up to him and wrapped her arms tightly around him.
"You're really here." Her voice as muffled in his cut. When she pulled away he saw her crying. He looked at Happy who nodded. He would stay with Jules. Tig walked Gwen to the chapel and let her sit down on one of the benches and held her chin.
"Tell me what's going on," he demanded. He was worried.
"I-I, we… Julia just did my tattoo. We were done. So we wanted to walk home. We did. At one point we heard a gun go off in a house. Julia called the 911," she took a deep breath and swallowed. "I walk into the house, hide behind a wall and three people run out. I run upstairs and I see Rita lying there bleeding. I didn't even know she l-lived there… I grab blankets. Try to stop the bleeding… She's pregnant Tig," she said. She looked up at him and there were tears in her eyes.
"Shit," he mumbled to himself. He slid onto the bench next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her in. He also had to tell her about what happened to Opie, but that would have to wait until tomorrow morning. "Why did you go in there, Gwen? You could've gotten yourself killed," he reminded her. Julia already talked to him on the phone and seemed to be fairly calm.
"Because it felt like the right thing. Honestly I didn't really think about. I grabbed my gun and I went in."
"Did someone see your gun?" she shook her head. "Good girl." He told her relieved that she hadn't be so stupid to leave it out in the open. "You saw anythin' that can make us catch these guys?"
"No. I was focused on the person who could've been shot and not being seen. It was dark. I think Julia might've seen more. Streetlights and all." She probably was right. He didn't doubt that Julia would tell Hap what she'd seen. If not him she would tell Gwen and she would come to him. At least that's what he hoped. "Are you okay?" she asked him after a while. He nodded. She squeezed his hand. "Is the rest okay?"
"We talk about it tomorrow." He said, trying to steer the conversation away from what happened today. Gwen was staring at the candles that were lit. She slowly stood up from her seat and walked up to the alter. She grabbed a couple of candles and slowly lit them, after putting a couple of dollars in the donation box. "Why?" he asked her, wondering why she suddenly wanted to light up a candle. Gwen shrugged her shoulders.
"I don't know," she admitted. "People have some weird ways to deal with difficult shit. We feel sad and we gotta do something 'bout it. We just don't know what. So someone decided that we should light a candle. Put flowers near a gravestone. Pray. It has no use. It only keeps us busy."
"You really think that?"
"Yeah a little maybe," she admitted. "Opie thought about it the same way as me when we were busy to arrange the memorial. He told me that people didn't give shit about who is dead. They only care about how much booze they could drink before they could drown themselves in pussy. It was for the club. Not for us. Not for our families so we could say goodbye." She turned around and faced him. "Maybe there were people there for me, to support me. To pay respect to my brother, or to be there for me. But all feels so forced you know?"
He didn't know. But he understood where she was coming from, but he didn't agree with her. She was already upset when Gemma told the memorial of Kozik would be shared with Piney's. He understood that too, especially since Gemma already made the decision without discussing it with Gwen. "You think Opie would want a memorial?"
"I think Opie wouldn't give a shit. But he would allow it so people can just do the weird things they do when they lose someone, so they can let go."
"Gwen, Tig?" the door opened a little revealing Julia. "Roosevelt is looking for you together with that blonde cop that brought us here?"
"I'll be right there."
"Heads up, he's very upset."
"What about Rita she still alive?"
"Yeah she's still alive, she's gonna make it."
"The baby?"
"I don't know. I don't think so," with that Julia closed the door behind her. Gwen walked back towards him and slipped onto the bench.
"What happened?" she asked as she looked up at him. He looked away. He felt guilty. If he just jumped in, he would've been killed, not Opie. His kids wouldn't be orphans, even though they still had Lyla. His kids didn't need him anymore. He would've been the better sacrifice, but he hadn't been. "He's gone isn't he?" she asked him gently.
Gwen saw tears in his eyes. Another heavy weight on his shoulders. She wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him towards her, letting his head lean on her shoulder. "I killed both of them," Tig whispered, before sitting up again. "It's my fault." She wanted to tell him he was wrong. That it wasn't his fault, but right now she knew her words wouldn't reach him.
The door of the chapel flew open, making the two of them immediately look over their shoulders. "We gotta talk," a raw voice said. Roosevelt.
Thanks for reading, please review!
