Pooling

The morning had come. I'd been delaying all thoughts of it since I'd had the letter in the post. My hydrotherapy sessions had been scheduled. Attendance was compulsory and the pain that went along with it? Well that was just considered a part of the process. 'To a healthier you' the Rheumatologist had assured.

I showered for too long, waiting until all the hot water had gone and my legs were aching from being upright for so long.

Thoughts seemed to play on a teasing loop and I had stuffed the Police report into my bag. I needed to read it. I needed to read the statements, the autopsy; I needed to get a real feel for what had happened. But what scared me most was that I'd only really scrapped the water, what lay beneath was still to be voyaged into.

It was a long drive out to the clinic. The facility was specially built and I wondered why I hadn't been filtered in with Forks Physiotherapy area. It made little sense but was proberly the reason behind the delays.

Once I would use to wait eagerly by the door for the post, waiting for an appointment, a referral, a letter, waiting for someone to make me better. But I caught on pretty quick that no one could fix me. The people I held with such high regard new little more about the condition than that of what I did.

It scared me for a while.

Then I stopped waiting.

I started ignoring.

I carried on with life as if nothing had ever happened. A blip.

My ponderings continued to the point where I was snapping the bra strap and jumping into a pair of sweats running disastrously late. I pulled on a t-shirt which lay on the floor, it smelt clean, and that was something right? The fact that it wasn't mine seemed not to matter.

I clasped my hands around the bag that was on the bed and yanked heading towards the door in a fluster of thoughts. The bag snagged around the bed pole and sent me plummeting backwards. It took me another few precious minutes to work out how exactly to manage to un-loop the material before I re-attempted my departure.

It seemed the world was against today's trip. This was a matter only emphasized when I couldn't get the car to start. I felt like Jennifer, twisting the keys desperately in the ignition praying this would be the time it would choose to work.

An unexpected roar entered my ears and I sighed aloud with the relief from it. I'd make it. Not on time, but I'd make it.


I felt the heat hit me as soon as I entered the reception area. It smelt like the hospital and the floor had the same squeaky feel, making me feel unsteady in my trainers. The chlorine in the air made my nose tingle and I looked around the sparsely decorated room. There seemed to be more people over the age of sixty than furniture.

I didn't even flinch.

Because I was use to it. I was use to being surrounded by people old enough to be my grandparents. That's how it worked.

I had yet to meet someone with my condition of the same age as I was. That wasn't to say they weren't out there, because they are. It's just a case of we get lost in the crowd a bit more than most.

I headed towards the only door way and the heat seemed to increase, the floor became squelchy and I stopped by a blue metal bench. The wall above it was adorned with multiple signs all trying to get across the same point.

Shoes needed to be removed and left on the rack for hygiene purposes. It was standard protocol.

With reluctance I tugged of my trainers and socks hissing as the hot air touched my chilled skin.

The air felt thick here and the heat was beginning to make me feel sleepy. Something that was becoming more and more of a problem now days.

"Hi you must be Imogene" a cheery woman greeted her smile reaching her eyes. She looked young, well to young to be working in a place like this. But the closeness in age made me feel a pang of reassurance.

I wasn't going to look quite as much of a freak show.


It was a tragic case of not quite as much, but still a freak show. I padded cautiously out of the changing room wishing I wasn't dressed in swimwear, in a building that was unpleasantly hot and smelt of herbal tea.

The doors were pushed back and I had a clear view into the hydrotherapy pool. I took a sweeping glance at it and felt a knot in my stomach. The pool was generously proportioned and multiple physiotherapists were stationed with people. All of whom were over the age of sixty. My heart thudded uncomfortably for a brief few seconds.

I felt the stares lingering on me.

With haste I moved to the shower flicking the water on and flinching back when the coolness hit my exposed skin. I twisted the caps fiercely but the water seemed reluctant to change.

Shaking myself of I moved towards the steps of the pool and the familiar face of the woman met me. Her eyes seemed clouded with sympathy for a few seconds but she seemed to brush it off. She reached across for a clipboard and seemed engrossed within my medical history.

I took the opportunity to get myself into the pool. It wasn't that different from what I'd had before. Maybe slightly warmer. It was like a soft embrace and it was strange to have the weight taken from my aching limbs.

That's not to say it was easy.

I bobbed up and down analyzing my nails with scrutiny I didn't know was possible.

"Did you bring anyone with you today Imogene?" she asked and I watched her chapped lips carefully, reading the words from them. Her facial expressions were over emphasized.

I shook my head gently and her smile faltered again.

"Okie-dokie" she chimed.

I looked around again. I surveyed the older generation. I tried to figure out what conditions they were here with, for most it would be rheumatoid arthritis, for others it could be fibromyalgia, some it was recovery from an operation.


"It'll be natural for you to feel very sleepy after these sessions, and as it's your first in a while I think a slight flare up in symptoms should be expected but that's something we will need to monitor and adjust what it is you do appropriately" Natalie explained from the pool.

I stood shifting from one foot to another at the door waiting to make my escape back to the changing room.

"Same time next week okay?" she added with a grin and I mustered another weak nod but the movement made my body throb.

I hurried myself in a race to change and vacate the premises before anyone else tried to make conversation with me. The thought of driving myself home made me feel physically sick and I wondered how a power-nap in the car would work.

I should call someone. Ask them to come and pick me up.

But that would be weak.

That would be admitting defeat.

I wasn't weak. I couldn't be weak. I'd been battling to long with this to let it get to that.


The air felt hot here, much like it was back in the pool, but this time instead of water there was a fire crackling. The smell of the smoke made my sinuses tingle and my stomach twirl. Bella seemed tenser than usual beside me as we walked closer towards the gathering in the woods.

Maybe it was the hostile reaction she ensured whenever she walked within a few inches of a tribe member, or the way that Jacob looked on the border of shifting anytime someone glanced at us.

This wasn't something I'd been looking forward to. After all my attendance to tribe meetings were no longer compulsory. Which basically meant that I was being politely asked to stay away. The same could not be said for Jacob, he'd been forced back home for this one, he had to stop trying to outrun himself for a few days.

Yet here I was, with Bella Swan. The last person they wanted to be present during discussions about her. Which was exactly why I brought her.

Jacob looked at me with the type of hesitance I hated. He was clearly waiting for a repeat of last time; it was tempting, very tempting.

Sam sat beside Paul looking smug as they chomped their way through a buffet laid out by Emily for the event. The other wolves surrounded them, all laughing and joking together.

It made me think of Bella, of Leah, of Jacob.

The three of them were outsiders to it, to the click, through choices. I suppose I was starting to teeter into the threesome, I hadn't spoken to Paul since the false proposal. If that was what it was? I wasn't exactly sure anymore.

We crossed past the shapeshifter's and I turned my head to hold a steely gaze at Paul. I wanted him to be panged with jealousy but all he seemed to have drawn into him was pity. I didn't want to be pitied. I jutted my head back sharply and began putting as much distance between us as possible.

Which from the screams of horror Bella produced nearly cost me my life, or my coat.

Whatever one, Jacob soon put an end to battering the flames that singed the left side of the lilac material with his bare hands.

"Can't take you anywhere" he grumbled grabbing firmly at my upper arm and moving to steer me clear of the fire and over to a seating area.

"Nope" a person called behind us popping her p, "she's a walking health-hazard" Jennifer decided firmly her voice coming in like a foreign substance in my aids and making my head whirl back.

Oh yes. I'd done it now. I had played my final card. I'd invited Jennifer; I figured if he wasn't willing to give her answers she wanted, I sure was going to.

I didn't look at Paul. I didn't need to. I could already feel the heat of his gaze searing into me.

"You invited her?" Bella squeaked her horror clear.

"Yes" I admitted curtly. "She has a right to know" I decided.

"Does she?" Bella questioned.

"As much as you do" I noted and she fell silent.

"I worked it out for myself Imogene" she corrected suddenly finding her voice again.

"So did she" I countered.

I waved the girl over, ignoring the exchange with Bella but the movement of my hand made my vision blur slightly. I began to clumsily excuse myself before Jennifer had even made it over to us. With haste I clambered of the stool and into the comforting woods behind me.

The brunette sunk into my space and I felt my stomach begin to churn.

The sudden twist of my inners hit me again and I grabbed hold of a tree trunk for support. It was with a sudden stabbing pain that I gasped aloud and dropped to my knees like a dead-weight. I began to retch. This wasn't good.

My body wanted to be sick, but I had nothing left to throw up. The pain became sharper and I absently noted someone rubbing circles onto my back but I didn't react. The pain rolled over in waves and suddenly something came up.

I was a mixture of unprocessed medication and liquid. I fell back sinking into the solid item behind me allowing the warmth to ensnare me.

Heated hands brushed the hair from my face and wiped the moisture from my eyes. I was unsure of what point I'd began to cry.

The smell of pines and muskiness that he seemed to be engulfed in made me stiffen in realisation. I tensed in his hold and craned my neck to look at him. His face was harsh and his lips were moving feverishly.

I looked on with blinding confusion.

I wiggled at the aids, but still the sound remained blocked. I attempted to leverage myself up pushing at his knees but I stumbled and dropped back onto the solid forest floor.

"Paul stop!" I cried placing my hands firmly onto his chest. "I, I can't hear you" I sobbed in anguish the tears slipping from my eyes before I could conceal them.

His face softened, his eyes dropped to the ground and in a second he was crushing me against his frame. It made me sob harder. I felt his legs give out and we crumbled to the dirt together, I clung to him in desperation as I cried.

No noise came, and I could just see his face in the fading light of the evening. This was bad. This was really bad.

"Can we go home now?" I choked out and his eyes seemed to cloud with fear for a few seconds, but somehow he managed to produce a nod.

It was subtle, so small I was unsure whether I'd imagined it. But he began to rise and was pulling me with him.

I allowed him to hold me up, not trusting my own body to remain upright. I needed to move but my legs seemed unsure, hesitant. They feared the fall.

The silence was sickening. It made my stomach begin to re-twist itself once more.

Self-control. I inhaled slowly through my nose trying to provoke some form of calm over myself but it only made my body shake uncomfortably. It was too dark now to read Paul's gaze and I stood unsure of what was next.

I'd asked him to take me home. No, I'd asked if we could go home.

Surely that had to mean something?

He moved quite suddenly jolting my limbs as he went and I cried out in surprise at the fact. We began to travel back towards the light source and I cringed back from his pull. I didn't want to go back there. It was too bright, and it would all seem to quite. I couldn't manage it.

But his grip was fierce and he pulled me along like a toy. He wanted to do something, or to see someone. I was uncertain of which. All I knew was that I wanted nothing to do with it.

The faces appeared suddenly and I felt my vision double for a brief few seconds. My body felt deprived of sleep again quite suddenly. Sleep, sleep would be really nice right now.

I watched with scrunched up eyes as Paul took his path, it wasn't towards Sam and it wasn't towards the car park. It was towards Bella.

It's okay not to be okay.

He thrust me forwards jabbing hands about and I tried to see the words that were falling from his mouth like thunder.

I caught the jest of it. What was wrong with me? God, Paul she'd be the last to know.

With a sudden wave of strength I thrust my hand away and pushed roughly at his torso producing what must have been some sort of wail.

Bella caught hold of my arm but I ripped it from her hold.

"Would you all just go please and leave me alone!" I screamed. "I can't be what you want me to be. Any of you. I realise that now, I'm sorry I don't conform to normality" I cried looking around at the spinning faces.

Hands pulled at me, roughly, I felt like I was being tugged in every direction. Back and forth, like it was a game of tug of war and it made me feel faint all over again. I could see the voices but I couldn't hear them.

I was losing it. I was spiraling. I was about to crash land.

Then a face appeared. It was calm, un-phased and the large hands lifted me from the mob with one swift movement. No one seemed to protest. They dared not.

Sam Uley carried me away from the bright light of the bonfire. He carried me past the concerned faces and away from the harsh touches. He carried me into some sort of peace.


I lay still. Stiff and waiting for something, or more for someone to make their presence known.

I could hear raised voices and I moved to a sitting position. Instinctively I gasped at the pain the movement caused in my stomach deep bellow. It was sharp and piercing, and it made me wonder just what this medication must actually be doing to my insides.

With a sigh and a grunt I flopped back down not having the energy or the strength to move to discover the source of the sound.

Talking about sound, it seemed my hearing had decided to make an appearance.

The slamming of the door made my head jerk back up again and I scrambled across the bed to get a better angle of the situation.

Paul stood in the doorway looking sheepish.

"Can you hear me now?" he questioned his eyes skimming over the floorboards.

"Is it a problem if I can't?" I demanded feeling a light venom in my words.

"No" he shrugged looking back up to meet my gaze, his eyes fierce with emotion. "I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do" he admitted kicking at the bed frame.

"Neither did I" I reflected honestly.

"Where does that leave us then?" he questioned his eyes dancing over me.

"With us. That's all we have left. Us" I declared and he tipped his head to the side in thought.

His features seemed to darken, and he looked as if he'd been out all night, still half wild.

"When did this all get so messed up?" he asked with a laugh.

"It's been messed up from the beginning. You've only just started to notice it" I indulged with a playful grin.

"Oh" he ground out his posture stiffening. "I happen to think being messed up is a bit underrated" he added with a smirk. It was what I needed to see. It made my heart swell.

"Really?" I asked with a smile beginning to taint my lips.

"Oh yeah" he assured coming to perch on the bed frame. "When did you're hearing start to go?" he asked turning suddenly serious.

"It's been happening for a while" I shrugged trying to blow it over.

"Oh" he frowned.

"Have you had it checked out?" he questioned and I shrugged once more and then a firm headshake.

"Sam said I shouldn't feel sorry for you" Paul addressed the coarse metal of the bed frame.

"I don't want you to" I said fiercely adjusting my posture so I sat up straight. I didn't like where this conversation was going.

"But it's kinda hard not to when you spend half your time around me nearly dying" he laughed nervously.

"Paul" I sighed in frustration. "Trust me you've seen nothing yet. If I wanted to nearly die I'd do a much better job" I teased but he in-drew a sharp breath.

"Let's just be serious about this for a few minutes, okay?" he requested and I gave a gentle nod.

"What are you scared of?" I asked softly. "I'm scared of a lot of things, I'm scared of where this condition might land me, and I'm scared it's going to scare you off. I'm scared you'll never treat me as an equal" I added thoughtfully.

He rubbed his face with strain.

"God Immie, I could never compare myself to you. We aren't equal. You're a much better person than I am, you're so strong, and nothing seems to break you. I mean sure you take a few hits but you always get yourself back up again" his voice was gentle, and I could see the emotion beginning to cloud over his eyes.

He blinked fiercely trying to brush it away.

"It's okay to cry Paul" I whispered stroking his face, my hand scuffing against the light stubble.

"I need to be strong for you" he mumbled, it hardly audible.

"I've been told I hold my own pretty well. Some even say that people have no idea what I'm capable of" I laughed easily reciting the words he said about me with a playful wink.

"How do you do it?" he questioned wringing his hands. "How do you just manage to bounce back?" he shook his head in firm disbelief.

"I've had a lot of practice" I muttered drawing him into me, pulling his head to my chest.

"I'm scared one day, I'm going to lose you" he admitted. "That these conditions are going to beat you" he added and I felt the dampness on my shirt. I didn't mention it. I just drew him closer.

Carefully I raked my fingers through his scalp trying to calm him. "It's tried. But it hasn't succeeded yet. I don't think things can get any worse Paul" I assured gently rocking us back and forth.

How wrong had I been.


Authors Note: So I hope you enjoyed this chapter I know there was quite a lot in there, so if you have any questions or thoughts don't hesitate to ask :)

Massive thanks to In Love With Paul-Seth-Jasper for taking the time to favourite the story and follow it, and to also favourite and follow my profile.

PernFan thanks for the review! Yes another twist, any suspicions? It was a funny part to right; I do enjoy the relationship she has formed with Jacob through Bella. Love hearing your thoughts :)

rissbenzo thank you very much for following the story and I really appreciate you leaving me a review! As for your comment over Paul, I wasn't sure what context to take it in do you mean he is one, or do you think I portray him as one to much? I wasn't sure which you were going with so I am going to answer quite generally, the wolf pack I feel was so underwritten and underexplored by Stephanie Mere and all of the films, which left plenty to think about. I personally loved Paul's bad streak and his destructive tendencies were something I thought best fitted Immie. Imogene is a flawed character, and I needed someone to complement her, I wanted two imperfect people. Which meant Paul requires a few moments of being an arsehole. But despite writing him as an arsehole I hope you've found in this chapter, that Paul's extreme passion and emotion can be used towards compassion and love. Thanks again for your comment :)

trickst3r-97 thanks for the follow on the story! Please look up this profile if you get chance as there is a twilight fanfiction on there :)

To my guest reviewer; I know (hides faces) I'm so cruel! Paul I expect is of beating the living daylights out of some object venting out his obvious frustrations and being a general angry mess. I hope he's redeemed himself with the end of this chapter? Thanks for the review, would love to hear what you thought of this chapter!