"Bonjour and good day, ladies and gentlemen!" Lumiere said with a wink. "Are we ready to begin?"
"YES!" Charming screamed, limbs limp from fangirliness over his knight costume.
"Yeah," Belle said, looking bored.
"Bonjour!" a sudden voice called, causing Belle and the rest of the group to turn, seeing a brown-haired woman in a yellow dress waltz into the room from the corner.
"Whatda frequently asked questions?!" Belle exclaimed, watching the other Belle, or, Beauty, run around the room.
"Hello! You look lovely today. Lumiere! What are all my friends doing here?" Beauty asked.
"YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND!" Belle screamed, but Beauty seemed to ignore her. Mr. Gold was sitting shock-still.
"We thought it would be fun to act out the story for you!" Lumiere cheerfully replied.
"SHUT UP YOU SKINNY PIECE OF WAX!" Belle shouted.
"Oh, a story? I love stories!" Beauty said excitedly, sort-of nervously eyeballing the bulge-eyed Belle.
"Very well, then," Lumiere replied. "Let's begin! Once, there was a charming young woman named Belle."
"GASP!" Beauty and Belle gasped at the same time. "That's me!"
The only difference between the two was that Beauty girlishly giggled after everything she said. Belle huffed and crossed her arms.
"Listen, you incessant, whiny, toad," Belle snapped, standing up. "Get out of here. It's called, 'Enchanted Tales With Belle' and I'm Belle."
"This isn't gonna end well, is it?" Henry noted from the audience.
"Nothing ends well," Emma said with a sigh. "I hate endings as it is. It can't be happy, because it was the end. Ooh, except for Twilight. The ending was my favorite part."
"GET OUTTA HERE! THIS IS MY SHOW!" Belle screamed.
"STOP SHAKING ME!" Beauty whined.
"YOU'RE SO RUDE!" Belle shouted.
"WERE YOU TALKING TO YOURSELF ON THAT ONE?" Beauty shouted back.
"GASP!" Belle gasped. "YOU TAKE THAT BACK OR YOU'LL BE COUGHING UP GUNPOWDER FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!"
"I'M WARNING YOU; I'M A RAINBOW BELT IN KARATE!" Beauty shouted, both stared at each other for a minute, before whipping girly blows at each other.
"Girls, girls, you're both ugly, now, stop," Cora said shushingly.
"Shushingly wasn't a real word," Belle corrected.
"But it's cool."
"And saying cool things makes you cool?" Mary Margaret asked in disbelief. "Really? Oh, in that case... ice cube... snowstorm... snow... snowing..."
"You're gonna make me blow my top, prissy!" Beauty shouted.
"That sounded wrong!" Hook yelled from the audience.
"You just can't open your mouth without an innuendo sneaking its way out, can you?" Neal asked, exasperated.
"Has anyone noticed that the candlestick is still talking?" Cora asked. "How does it do that? Is it magic?"
"Whatever you say," Neal said, annoyed, watching Belle and Beauty fight. "This is better than the movies!"
"That was terrible," Belle said as she tried to brush something unidentifiable out of her hair. "Let's never do that again."
"Agreed," Emma said. "All right, so, next up is-"
"Next up is 'Casey Jr. Splash 'N' Soak Station', Miss Swan, as if you even know where we're going," Regina scoffed. "Didn't you notice, I'm THE LEADER here?"
"I was just sayin'," Emma said slowly.
"Then don't say," Regina snapped.
"Where are we even going?" Emma wondered.
"OH MY GOD, THERE'S WATER HERE!" Snow suddenly screamed. "I'M GONNA MELT!"
"Calm down, Snow, there isn't any water here- AAGH!" Charming yelled as a squirt of water hit him in the face.
"That's interesting," Belle noted.
"Humans," Hook joked.
"Shut it with the Doctor Who comments!" Neal shouted.
"I'M MELTING!" Snow screamed.
"MY DRESS!" Cora shrieked. "IT'S GOTTEN WET!"
"Geez, you'd expect... well..." Emma mumbled, jumping up in shock as Henry pushed her into a puddle and giggled maniacally.
"Henry? What are you doing? Why'd you push me into a puddle? And why are you laughing evilly?" Emma wondered.
"I'm practicing my evilness," Henry said. "Plus my evil laugh."
"That was an evil laugh?" Gold sneered. "Sounded more like something choking."
"Hey!" Regina snapped. "I think it sounded good!"
"Really?" Henry asked.
"Well... sure," Regina said slowly.
"Hate to say it, but I agree with Gold," Emma butted in. "You aren't evil, kid."
"He is too, I raised him!" Regina yelled.
"No, he's not!" Emma yelled just as a squirt of water hit her in the face.
"Is too!"
"Is not!"
"MELTING! I'M MELTING!" Snow's shouting broke the two out of their thoughts.
"You aren't, you're fine!" Charming reassured her.
"IT BURNS!" Snow shrieked.
"What are you doing, Mother?" Regina wondered, noticing that Cora was staring at a fake elephant.
"I'm having a staring contest," Cora said.
"Your dress is wet," Regina commented.
"Yeah, it is," Cora said absently.
"Why are you staring at a fake elephant?" Henry wondered finally.
"Because I am," Cora said.
"I just pushed Emma into a puddle!" Henry exclaimed happily.
"That's nice," Cora said. "BWAAAH!" she yelled as water was squirted into her face.
"Wow," was all Henry said. "That weird or what?"
Oops! Sorry this took a while. We've hit 'Hell Week' in our performance and stuff, and more work for me since I got into that thing I auditioned for (not that I'm complaining... ;) But it might mean less updates and stuff this week.
Anyway, if anyone's wondering, Hell Week is the worst week in musical productions and stuff, 'cos it's the final week for practice before the actual production. Quite literally, I'm gonna be working from nine to five everyday. (Well, 10 to 4, but you get the idea.)
R&R!
