The ashes were theirs.

It was a bit amusing for Lynn, who, having recovered somewhat from the ordeals barely more then two days old, now watched as Leliana knelt in prayer in front of the pouch containing a pinch of Andraste's ashes. Hanging above sparse grass floor the black leather pouch looked just like any other...but it was a symbol of not only that the Chant wasn't just a tale...but also of the great struggle of the group now resting at the bottom of the mountains they had not days ago climbed.

After having recovered some of the ashes the two divisions of the group had reorganised and headed back down towards the lowlands, unimpeded save an odd snowstorm and the attack of a few starved wolves.

Still, the group had been exhausted when the downwards climb had stopped becoming a vertical one. It wasn't just the climb, nor ploughing through the storm and snow...or even the fight with the fanatical cultists still leaving the odd wound and scrape.

It was a mental exhaustion more than anything else. Everyone knew that they had passed a great hurdle, that a new path now lay before them....and with that an old tension had left them, leaving the group silent and half-resting even as they walked.

So when they had reached flatter lands, devoid of snow, though the air was still a little brisk...Lynn had called an early halt. Setting camp in a glade of a sparse forest they'd moved into as they reached the lowlands they had all nearly collapsed, not out of tiredness, but just out of a desire to rest...vindicating Lynn's decision.

The tents were barely up, tools and unwashed dishes still littering the ground. Despite the sky slowly turning grey, the whole camp seemed full of...laziness. Oghren was sitting on the ground, nursing a long since flat mug of ale and bemusedly staring at the grass, already half asleep by the looks of it. Next to him Zevran lay on his back, hand under his head and softly muttering as he slept. Wynne was no better, the mage having set up her tent the moment the halt had been called and disappeared into it, not even coming out for the dinner they had had an hour ago.

Leliana still had some energy in her though, the bard on one knee as she rocked back and forth while muttering prayers in front of the leather pouch Lynn had hung up. A little away from the bard Morrigan lay, lazily resting against the pile of packs they had dumped into the centre of the camp and watching Leliana with eyes both weary and amused.

Only Sten remained standing, the tireless giant chewing on some dried up meat as he continued his circuit of the camp. Even he seemed tired though, his walk not as vigilant as normal, his behaviour almost casual.

It was relaxing to see them all like that.

Half-sitting with her back against a warm fellow warden, equally warm arms around her waist Lynn rested, content to remain silent as her hands played with the hem of her tunic.

She knew she should speak though, that Alistair was not content, however much he tried to pretend as such.

Ever since they had left Haven behind the former templar had been quiet...reserved even. Not with her of course...but he had still been a bit less talkative. It wasn't as if he was really sad, or even upset...but there had obviously been more thinking and less talking with the man as of late.

He hadn't told a joke for two days.

"What's on your mind?" She whispered, sighing as she forced herself to ignore the little warning voice in the back of her head. Instead she merely inched closer to the man, as always surprised that was even possible considering how close they already were. "You've been awfully quiet."

"Just...thinking." Alistair murmured back, face coming down to kiss the top of Lynn's head, making her sigh happily. "What do you think will happen...later I mean?"

"I don't know." She answered truthfully, hands coming up to close around Alistair's wrists, pulling his arms tighter around her. "Maybe the ashes will work, maybe not...only time can tell."

And after that?

She could sense Alistair's unspoken question, his worry of the future...making her own all too real all of a sudden. "I don't want things to change..." She smiled at the resting companions before her, her friends, recovering and enjoying the afterglow of their great achievement. It was a strangely idyllic scene to Lynn, drawing another contented sigh out of her. "...ever."

"Me neither..." Alistair muttered, but it was without fervour, they both knew things would change. They had their allies, soon they would have secured Redcliffe's support...and then...then they would have to truly act.

It was unknown territory though, and only the worried Alistair seemed to have even a glimpse of the map...making Lynn all the more fearful.

"I hope you didn't...take his words too seriously." She bit her lip, shuddering at the memory of Alistair, Alistair of all people, looking horrified with himself. "It was another test, nothing more...and don't you think you being revealed would have changed anything. There would have still been a war." She had already reasoned her way past her own question, reminding herself that she had made proper prioritising to protect Ferelden, and in so doing, her own people. But Alistair...he was too emotional...

Lynn was worried, the blows upon others made too grievous injuries upon the man...how would he handle it if he took upon himself the wounds of an entire nation?

Alistair's voice was soft: "I know." Thank the Maker. "Yet..." She stiffened in his arms, listening intently all of a sudden. "...no, forget it." She could feel him shake his head, even with him behind her she could feel his weariness, the worry digging into him. Indecisiveness.

I don't want things to change...

"Come." Getting to her feet Lynn pulled up the blanket that had slipped off during their cuddling and pulled it over her shoulders to stave of the lingering cold as she suddenly found herself without her warm pillow. "I need to take a walk." She smiled down at the man slowly getting to his feet, his movement sluggish, kind eyes still full of deep thoughts. "You do too."

"As you desire." The man managed a weak smile and a shrug as he grabbed his own blanket, pulling it over his white shirt with a small grunt. "Where to?"

"A walk doesn't need a destination..." Lynn waved Sten away as the qunari moved to intercept the pair walking towards the outskirts of the camp. "Never been in this forest before..." She took Alistair's hand in hers, pulling him along even as she felt a small tingling sensation in the pit of her stomach. "...it kind of has...a freshness about it doesn't it?"

"I suppose it does." Alistair answered, his tone suggesting he was just dutifully making conversation. "At least the grass isn't that thick."

He was right. Still a little far up the air was a little cold, the ground more dry dirt then the few tufts of tough grass eking out an existence... But the trees were alive and thriving, pale green leaves reaching up towards a disappearing sun, the bark of their trunks nearly white in colour. Lynn couldn't see any wildlife save a few birds...it was a quiet forest.

"I like it." Lynn nodded, taking deep breaths, enjoying the crisp air as she stalled, not knowing what else to do. "It's...calm." She pulled Alistair along, deeper in among the sparse trees, her breathing irregular all of a sudden. What is...clam down! Her body didn't listen though, it remained strangely stressed, afraid even. This is ridiculous.

"Lynn...are you okay?"

"Y-yeah, sure." Lynn managed a short laugh. Why shouldn't I be? Just get it over with... Sighing she turned to face the man, her hand limply falling out of his. The man was looking at her with a strange look on his face, a mix of confusion and concern. "Alistair I..." Okay, deep breath, this is nothing new, just get it over with and you can go back to actually enjoying being with him...

"Lynn...what?" Alistair frowned, taking a step forward and reaching out...only to frown even more as Lynn pulled back, her hand rubbing her elbow furiously. "Lynn?"

"Well...you know..." Lynn swallowed, ignoring the butterflies in her stomach as best she could. "...with you saving me from the dragon and...well...other things..." For goodness sake just get it over with! You don't even want this! "...I just supposed you...deserved a reward." She took a deep breath, her heart thumping. "I...I guess I'm saying I...could...do it now..." She looked down at her feet as she took a deep breath, steeling herself.

A chuckle.

What!? Looking up in shock she found a small smile playing on the man's lips. "If you just offered what I think you offered...you didn't have to make it sound like some sort ordeal to suffer through." The smile widened a little. "It'll hurt my man-feelings..."

He smiles.. Unable to really get angry with the man that suddenly was smiling Lynn shook her head. "Sorry I...well I just..." Just want to get it over with, just want to do you a favour, just want to...not think about this anymore.

"Lynn..." The smile faded, the man cocking his head to the side, worried. "...what's wrong?"

"I..." Lynn looked away, hugging herself as she pulled her blanket closer around herself, suddenly feeling a strange urge to cover up.

"Tell me." Kindness, worry and caring, Alistair's voice was heavy with it.

That vicious kindness....Lynn found herself smiling softly even as she felt a vice of terror close around her heart. "It's...well I..." She looked up at him, pleading. "I just don't want to...tell you this, it's...well it's not the nicest of stories."

"Lynn...please."

"I..." Lynn took a deep breath, fear digging into her even as she realised she had already made up her mind. I have to tell him. She lowered her head and forced herself to finish the sentence. "...was...a whore." She took a shuddering breath, terror gripping her tight as she felt rather then saw Alistair shift his weight in front of her. "I...made money selling...myself."

No, no I shouldn't have told him. I shouldn't.

I shouldn't.

He's going to...

"I'm sorry." Blinking she looked up, finding Alistair having taken half a step forward, his arm having begun to reach out...only to stop as she looked up at him. He looked unsure...if he wasn't sure he should touch her. I knew it... "It must have been hard..." The eyes were full of compassion, he looked hurt, but not for himself, but for her sake. Knew that too...but now he won't touch me... The hand clamped down on her shoulder, proving her wrong. Damn...he always does that. Lynn averted her gaze. "...I understand then if you don't want anything like that...it's too much of a reminder."

It is.

"No it isn't!" Lynn hissed, irritated with the man and her mind both. Shaking her head she shot Alistair a glare: "I'm not proud over what I did, but neither am I ashamed! I did what I had to do to keep my family warm and fed! There's no shame in that!" Who are you trying to convince?

Shut up mind...Lynn felt her shoulders slump as she averted her gaze once more. "I just...it's..."

"Lynn." Alistair took a step back, giving her space to breathe. Thank the Maker for that..."Tell me...what's really bothering you."

"I just..." Lynn held her blanket tightly around her, looking left and right but seeing no way out. Finally she forced herself too meet the sympathetic eyes looking back at her. I don't deserve him... "You think this is something great...something special..." She winced at her own words, not wanting to destroy the naivety of the man before her. Yet what choice do I have? Maker, forgive me... "That it's something wonderful...and it's good...it is, you feel more relaxed after it...but it's not this magical thing you seem to imagine...that's just a tale..."

"Lynn I-"

Raising her hand Lynn stopped the man's protest. "No, let me finish." This isn't right... She felt a strange feeling of grief dig into her as she continued: "I just...you'll be disappointed okay?" She nearly fell to her knees as she said it, feeling as if she'd somehow hurt the man before her more deeply than anything ever could have.

There was no reaction in Alistair's face though, nothing but...she couldn't quite make sense of it. Amusement? No, no that can't be it...

"Because that feeling you think of...it doesn't exist." She looked away, sighed. "And even if it did...I can't feel it...not anymore...there's nothing..." She shrugged as she stared down at her feet, wincing at the pain in her chest. "Look, either you'll be disappointed...or...or I will realise I've lost something. I...I don't think I can handle either." She closed her eyes, feeling ashamed. He deserves someone better...someone that could-

"Lynn..." Looking up she found Alistair advancing. The amusement was now definitively there as he smiled, his left hand coming up to cup her chin, forcing her to look up at him as the right wound its way into her hair. "...that's the stupidest thing you've ever said."

"Alistair you're not-"

Lips.

Blinking Lynn realised the man had somehow caught her unprepared. His left hand came around until it too dug into her hair as he kissed her more insistently, forcing her to respond on instinct and pushing her backwards.

But I really can't...

His right hand went lower, came around her shoulders, pulling her closer...and Lynn suddenly realised the kiss was leaving her breathless. She put her hands against his shoulders, there was no strength in her arms though...and they were unwilling to push him away anyway.

I don't think I can...

She stumbled backwards, Alistair following, so close he might as well have been a part of her, his lips never leaving hers. The thud of her back hitting the tree was muted, nothing compared to the groan escaping her as the man shoved her into the trunk, pinning her against it and forcing her legs apart as he pressed up against her.

I...can't...

Her hands pushed off the blanket from his shoulders, tugged at the man's shirt, the hands not obeying her will any longer. A callused hand came down and round...found her right leg...and suddenly Lynn felt her tunic slide upwards as a palm begun to caress bare skin...drawing a surprised gasp from her.

I...I...

The man leant back, breathing heavily as he stared at her, a small smile on his lips, as if daring her to stop things now. Surprised Lynn realised she wasn't even touching the ground, her legs busy being wrapped around his waist as he pressed up against her. A low groan escaped her, despite her best efforts to remain quiet, turning the man's smile into a lusty grin.

I...

Lynn's hands, refusing her orders...refusing to stop, to obey...shook as they pulled apart the shirt before her, baring a muscled chest covered in white scars. Maker...Alistair's hands grabbed the neckline of Lynn's tunic, he tugged at it, pulled...then ripped it apart, making Lynn's breath hitch in her throat at the sudden cold digging into her skin.

I...

Then Alistair smashed into her, crushing her against the tree once more as the man hugged her tightly, his lips finding her collarbone, his breath warm, his body warm. Holy... Lynn felt a shudder run through her even as her eyes rolled back. W-what is... Lynn's hands, still animated with a life of their own, pressed their way in between their bodies, slid between taut skin and muscles...and found his belt.

A pull, a tug and a rip...and she had Alistair in her hands, drawing a low growl from him.

Overwhelmed Lynn gasped as one hand wrapped itself around her rear, the other coming up to roughly knead a breast. Her own remained busy holding him, guiding him closer...nearer...so near she could practically feel...

A gasp and Lynn felt a tingling sensation buzz around her stomach that spread up along her spine and through her limbs...before exploding within her like a miniature fireball. A small whimper escaped her, what little thinking she was capable of jumbled and confused as she squeezed her eyes shut. B-but he's not even...

A thrust.

A groan.

A cry.

And the world exploded.

**

Thanks to Abydos Jackson for just being her.