Kaidan hated goodbyes. He always had, he held his friends and family as close as possible. And those times when he didn't, when he couldn't, had been the worst times of his life. Being forced into BAaT had started it all, torn him from his family and the life he had understood. And he knew, on some level, he'd never come home from that. Then the aftermath of it, alone, fighting his own demons, keeping himself distant from those he could hurt. Then the awkward goodbyes when he had left for Boot, his family still trying to put the pieces back together without any glue. After that, a brief glimmer of hope, the opening steps to loving John. That had ended with John's death. And then Horizon. That...that had crushed him more than John's death. Turning away from someone he loved, someone he had assumed was gone...and then he wasn't, but he was. He frowned, pushing that all away. Just because John was leaving didn't mean he was leaving. It wasn't a reason to start peering back into the dark reaches of his soul. And he wasn't going to be left alone, Jenna stood next to him. His family was back, his mother...his father. John was back. It was all good. This wasn't one of those goodbyes, it was just a 'see you later' goodbye.

"Hey, none of that." John did not whisper but his voice was lowered so that it would be snatched away by the wind before it reached beyond Kaidan's and Jenna's earshot. "You two take care of each other and I'll be back before you know it."

And there were no words for that. It was time to start accepting the life he was making for himself and more importantly, accepting the life that John still had. That was the part of this that sat wrong with him. If John was staying, it would be easier. But he wasn't...and Kaidan wasn't going to ask him to. You two take care of each other...

He glanced at Jenna, trying to read her response. It wasn't easy to separate her mood from her current condition, she looked pale and downcast, but she was still recovering. He knew if he was leaving with John, he'd still be upset because he'd be leaving her. It was a no win situation and it was one he just needed to deal with. Now. He just hadn't really considered that having two partners would mean he would occasionally be torn between them...

You made the choice to stay behind. You made the choice to be part of the rebuilding, to be a teacher.

And even if he hadn't, he'd still be right where he was. Command was happy that he'd asked for this assignment, but if he'd gotten orders, this would have been them.

You made the choice to be a husband before John returned.

Yes, but it'd been easier then. But now, he was responsible for creating and protecting John's home, working in tandem with Jenna. John deserved a real home, for once in his life. And Kaidan had craved one from the first moment he'd been conscripted into BAaT, he knew what he was missing and had been fighting back towards one his entire life.

"We've got this." He just had to hold on until this became his new normal. Things had been broken for so long he'd grown used to it. How could he be wrong with what he had now? Jenna. John. A new focus in his career, one that he loved. His family returned to him, his mother and his father. To have it all meant letting go of the need to be everywhere. John had amazing people at his back, looking out for him. Kaidan just had to trust them with him.

"I know you do." John gave him that smile that was not obviously a smile...his lips did not move but the lines at the corners of his eyes deepened. Even though they were out in the open, engaged, the rules still applied. John was in uniform, in public. Kaidan was. Jenna was. All of the hugging and kissing and hanging on had happened earlier, in private. "You're not being left alone, Kai."

No, he was correct there. John and the Normandy would go, but Jenna was not and had never been a part of that. She was separate and distinct from that part of their lives and she would stay here. And Kaidan's job was to do what he loved to do, hilarious as it was. After his brutal, crushing introduction to the worst of instructors in BAaT, he had learned what not to do. He'd been afraid of the job before, who was he to teach others? But now, the only thing that kept it from being a great joy was that it kept him from falling into step behind John and walking up that gangplank.

You'll never be that soldier again.

True enough. "I know. I got this, John. We got this. Just come home this time."

"I'll do my best." He gave Kaidan that half smile again but let it grow slightly when his eyes landed on Jenna. "I've got to go now. I love you both...see you when I get back." And with that he spun, stalking towards the Normandy in berth, joined by Vega as he moved away from the pair of them.

"I think I need ice cream." Jenna muttered, viciously slicing through Kaidan's funk with a single sentence. He could use something with a lot more kick than simply ice cream, but he understood the sentiment.

"Let's go see what we can find." He sighed, turning away from the Normandy as she fell into step beside him. He knew that John had packed up the bar from the Okanagan house and brought it home with him after Jenna's going away party, but ice cream was probably going to be more of an issue.

And it was, but she was willing to accept chocolate cake as an acceptable substitute.