The Uncanny Kid Razor

Disclaimer: "Ha-ha! You got usurped!" – Nelson Muntz to Ned Flanders, the Simpsons

Chapter 52: Psycho Circus, Part 2

Cleveland, Ohio

"La de da, dee dee la da, da dee da dee…" Kid Razor happily sang to himself as he flew over the skies of his beloved hometown of Cleveland, Ohio. He then flew towards a building when his superhuman hearing picked up a familiar voice. The voice's source, the beautiful Joan Frehley, was sitting on top of a skyscraper, writing on a notepad.

"To me, Cleveland is a city full of HO-LEE-!" Joan mumbled to herself as she wrote. She got interrupted by Kid Razor streaking by her. Joan fell on her butt. "Agh! You!" She exclaimed. A happily-laughing Razor doubled back toward her.

"Hello, Joanie!" Razor greeted sweetly with a big grin. "You look as shag-worthy as ever. The Kid of Rock missed you last night." Joan sighed.

"What do you want, Razor?" Joan grumbled annoyingly, straightening her Cleveland Browns t-shirt and long brown hair. Razor smiled mischievously.

"The Kid of Rock just wanted to see how you were doing, Joanie?" Razor floated towards her.

"I'm doing fine, loudmouth." Joan answered sharply, crossing her arms over her chest impatiently. "What're you up to?"

"Ah, the usual, babe." Razor smirked. "You know, whomping evil butt, lookin' good, rockin' the stage, flyin' high…"

"Being annoying, prancing about like an arrogant jerk…" Joan cut in with a smirk.

"Oh, you wound me, babe." Razor mock-winced, putting his hand on his heart.

"Oh, hardy har har." Joan rolled her eyes.

"Babe, you know you're crazy about the Kid of Rock. Why do you act like you're not?" Razor smirked. "You're not fooling the Kid of Rock, babe. He can get into women's heads. He knows how they think."

"HA!" Joan scoffed loudly. "That's a laugh."

"What're you up to, babeolicious?" Razor raised an eyebrow on her notepad.

"I'm working on my editorial." Joan answered.

"Ah." Razor nodded. "Spouting your opinions. Yup, the Kid of Rock can see you doing that."

"Are you trying to insult me, Razor?" Joan scowled.

"Babe, you'd know if I was insulting you." Razor pulled down his sunglasses and winked cheekily. Joan sighed.

"Are you just here to bother me?"

"The Kid of Rock prefers to call it flirting, babe." Razor chuckled. "Many a woman has fallen under the Kid of Rock's charms."

"Funny. I haven't met any of them." Joan chuckled. "Just get out of here and go be a jackass somewhere else." Razor shrugged.

"Fine, babe. I know when I'm not wanted." Razor laughed. He then flew off. Joan smiled and shook her head.

"What a blockhead." She smiled. "Hey, I wonder if Bobby is up for a date…" She pulled out a cell phone.

The Tiboldt Family Circus, Cincinnati, Ohio

"Oh, this show is absolutely wonderful!" Delilah Burton smiled happily as she enjoyed the show. She had two other people with her. They were her son Spencer, the armored speedster called Sonic Blue, and their housemate Eugene Patilio, the Fabulous Frog-Man. Eugene was a college student from New York City who moved to Cleveland to try out his luck as a superhero. Soon after, he was brought into the world of the local heroes, where Spencer helped him modify his costume and he moved in with the Burtons so he could continue his college studies. The three of them were watching the trapeze act. "Oh, how amazing! I always wondered how they do that."

"Practice, mom." Spencer answered with a chuckle. "Lots and lots of practice."

"I'd be so frightened to go up there and do that stuff." Delilah nodded.

"That's why they have the safety net, Ms. Burton." Eugene pointed out the safety net. Spencer eyed two mustachioed identical acrobats, and his eyes narrowed.

Those two acrobats look very familiar… Spencer thought. Why do I keep getting this nagging feeling in the back of my head that I should be very careful and that there's some bad mojo in this place?

"Spencer…" Delilah blinked at her deep-in-thought son. "Are you alright, dear?"

"Huh?" Spencer blinked, looking up at Delilah. "Oh, I'm fine, Mom. I'm just thinking."

"Knowing Spencer, he's probably calculating the exact angle the trapeze artists need to release the trapezes so they can do their stunts successfully." Eugene teased.

"Ah, shaddap." Spencer mock grumbled, crossing his arms. "Besides, that kind of sounds like something that Reed Richards would do. He would overanalyze things."

"And what about Tony Stark?" Eugene smirked. Spencer shrugged.

"Knowing him, he'd be designing an armor that would allow its wearer to duplicate their feats." The young inventor quipped with a grin. Delilah and Eugene laughed. "I'm gonna go see if there's a bathroom around here."

"Yeah, I gotta go, too." Eugene got up.

"Don't be too long, boys." Delilah told them. "You don't want to miss the whole show." Spencer and Eugene left the tent.

"Hey, Gene?" Spencer piped up.

"Yeah?"

"I keep getting this feeling." The young inventor admitted.

"Feeling of what?" A puzzled Eugene blinked.

"You know, the kind of feeling that something strange is up with this circus." Spencer shook his head. "And in the superhero world, those feelings are usually right."

"…Are you sure that you're not just worrying too much?" Eugene wondered, crossing his arms. Spencer rolled his eyes.

"Contrary to popular belief, I'm not that big a worrier." Spencer sighed. "I do think that something is up with this circus." Spencer then remembered something. "I'll explain later. Let's just hurry up and find a bathroom." Meanwhile, back inside the tent, Delilah was enjoying the show.

"Thank you, folks! Thank you! You are a kind crowd!" The pencil-thin mustachioed ringmaster, dressed in a green and purple suit with black stars on the jacket, and matching boots, called to the crowd happily through a megaphone, his voice spiced by an Austrian accent. His black hair was covered by a purple top hat with a white circular panel on it, decorated in a black swirly pattern. "The Tiboldt family thanks you again for enjoying our wonderful show!"

"Tiboldt?" Delilah blinked. "Hmmm…I've heard that name on the TV before…" She scratched her head in thought. "But from where?"

Outside the circus

"Hmmm…" Mr. Fahrenheit grinned to himself from a rooftop. He was looking at the circus through a pair of binoculars. He was sitting on one knee. "Heh…this circus is a great opportunity for me! Big chance to get my paws on some big bucks. Circuses have lots of people, and lots of people carry lots of cash, heh heh." He looked at one of his flamethrowers and smirked. "Maybe I can scorch the place, too. I always hated clowns."

Back in the tent

"Alright!" The ringmaster crowed at the crowd. "That was Zelda DuBois and her snake act, ladies and gentlemen!" A red-haired woman dressed in a green outfit with green stockings and a large yellow snake over her shoulders bowed.

"Thank y'all!" She waved before leaving for backstage.

"I wonder where the boys are?" Delilah blinked. "They missed a wonderful snake act."

"And now, for the next act…" The ringmaster continued, but one of the clowns ran up to him. He was balding, with white hair on the sides of his head, clad in black-and-white makeup, and a wacky yellow-and-blue polka dot costume with big red buttons, and oversized brown shoes. He wasn't just any clown, he was Eliot "Crafty" Franklin, the lead clown of the Tiboldt circus. He was from a family of clowns. The ringmaster scowled with mock anger. This part of the act. "Yes?" The clown motioned. "What do you want?" The grinning clown pulled out a can of seltzer and squirted the ringmaster right in the face, making the ringmaster growl in mock anger and the audience laugh.

"Oh, my!" Delilah laughed happily. "This is hilarious!" She laughed as the ringmaster chased the clown around, yelling at him.

Time to go to work… The ringmaster smirked. He turned to the crowd and started spinning the twirly decoration on his hat.

Outside the tent

Mr. Fahrenheit snuck towards the tent. He hid behind a pair of boxes. He notice an unguarded wall.

"Alright…" The flamethrower-wielding villain grinned. "Time to go in and get me a stash…" He crept up to the wall. He fiddled with a dial on his flamethrowers. "Oh, wait. If I set this ablaze, I could end up bringing down the whole thing. That's not what I need…I need something sharp…"

Next: Psycho Circus, Part 3 Sonic Blue and Frog-Man leap into action to stop the Circus of Crime, but they end up in a three-way brawl with Mr. Fahrenheit!