GUYS!! I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH! I SWEAR! I DON'T LIE!! I hope you understand why it took me so loooooooooooooooooooooong before I could update this story. As you can see, I've been very busy with school, doing projects, reviewing for tests, NCAE! Practicing for the presentations, and everything. PLUS, TYPHOON ONDOY hit Metro Manila, and yeah, our placed suffered a lot. Thank God, the government has been releasing relief goods for those people who are needy. The flood nearly reached my waist. Imagine that? And the school is planning to move the class next week. AND UNFORTUNATELY, we won't be experiencing SEMESTRAL BREAKS. GOD! How can these be?! I'm so sorry guys if it took this long, I promise I'll make up for it! I swear, to the highest level! :) So please enjoy reading, and guys, can I ask you a favor? Please pray for those souls who died because of the typhoon, and for those who really need a hand. Thank you and God Bless! \(^o^)/


Is he kissing me?

Is he kissing me?

Again, is he kissing me?!

Pretty hard to believe, but it wasn't my hallucination.

I've been kissed!

I'm not dreaming, am I?

As soon as our lips parted ways, he kept staring at me for a whole minute. I knew that after our kiss it would be so awkward. But why is this guy not saying anything at all? And he seemed to be comfortable. While me, here, with my face flushed red. DEEP RED to be exact.

He was my first kiss, I know. But why did this kiss felt like it was my first? As if it's newly touched? It felt like I was in heaven, with the nine choirs of angel singing to me. It felt so... Angelic.

"GOD.. HELP." Was all I can pray.

But wait. Did he just said, "I love you Mikan?"

Am I mishearing things?

"Hey, are you all right?" He asked, shaking my face.

"W-Well... I'm..." I'm stammering, I know.

"What can you say?"

"A-About what?" IDIOT! It's the kiss, of course!

"Hah. Never mind. I've never met such an idiot girl like you. Your dense. Just talk to me whenever you feel like talking." Then he stood up, giving me a smirk.

I can't really understand myself so, I guess he was right. I've been dense, am I?

"Don't joke with me." I murmured. I can't help it. I was hoping he would really explain why he said those magic words at that time. And why the hell wasn't he acting awkward? I mean, we've just kissed! Right?

He turned his head towards me, then he knelt a little so that his face would be on the same height as mine.

He calmly said, "I'm not joking. If you think I'm making it difficult for you, then think twice. I said I love you. And I mean it." Then this time, he left me under the tree, with my face blushing, my eyes gotten wider.

"HE MEAN IT?!" Help me! How would I handle this?!

Kotaru is another problem. Really, I've been looking like a fool for a day now, thinking it over and over again. I know I have to clear my feelings. But how should I start?

I still sat under the Sakura Tree. I was caressing my auburn locks, thinking thorough the matter over and over again.

"I saw it." An ice-like voice said.

Then my heart suddenly pumped fast.

"Hotaru?!" I screamed.

"Don't shout. You're hurting my ears." She said.

"You're eavesdropping! That's a crime!" I shouted, still.

"If your going to shout again, I swear I'll spread this picture to the whole school." She blackmailed me. She showed me a picture of me and Natsume kissing. Yeah, it was moments ago.

And I can't even say a thing. I felt like I'm a loser for letting my guard off.

"Oh, Hotaru, please don't." I plead.

"I won't I'll just put this picture in my collection."

"Collection?" It's the first time I've heard of it.

"Yes. The 'Sakura Mikan's Misadventures.'" Then, she actually smiled.

"What!? You didn't asked for my permission first! Let me see it!"

And before I knew, we've been teasing and playing.

After an hour of joking and laughing, she made a serious face, then she actually asked me.

"I know you like the kiss. Can you be serious this time? Who would you choose? Kotaru? Natsume? You HAVE to choose." And she pronounced the word 'HAVE' clearly.

"Why did she ask with such a serious face?" I'm getting butterflies over my stomach. I've never been this confused.

I actually thought about it. If I was going to choose, it would definitely be Kotaru. For he can replace Natsume, and I am so sure he wasn't going to hurt me and make me suffer like what Natsume did to me.

But why?

Why is my heart yearning for Natsume?

Why can't I sleep at night?

Why can't I just forget about him?

Just, tell me why.

My mind told me to choose Kotaru. But my heart, was shouting Natsume's name.

"I just don't know Hotaru, I'm so confused. I don't know which to choose." I said, truthfully. I know she'll understand it.

"You have the privilege to choose. You can't have two person there in your heart."

"I know but..."

"You know why it is getting harder? Because you are thinking of each's advantages. Thing of the happiness you felt when your with one of them."

As Hotaru said, I did.

When I'm with Kotaru, I felt safe. I'm happy, I swear. It was fun being with him.

But it felt incomplete.

I know, I'm being unfair. But when I'm with him, there's a part in my heart that is not satisfied. Not satisfied enough to let me think he's the one.

The one I was destined with.

While Natsume, yeah, he hurt my heart a lot of times. I even cursed him. But at the end of the day, He was the one I was thinking of, and by the time I woke up, he's still the one who's popping on my head. I suffered a lot I know. But by the time when our lips met, it melt the hatred away. It melt the worries and insecurities. It's like he made me feel I'm a special girl who should experience perfectness. With him.

And I'll tell you honestly, as I think about this over and over, Natsume's face was on my thoughts.

"Now what? Are you through thinking?" Hotaru interrupted my thoughts.

"Well, yeah." I said, with my head held up high, and a smile plastered on my face.

"Who's the lucky guy?" She asked. But I knew she knew whom I choose.

"MR. ARROGANT, NATSUME HYUUGA." I said, with no words mispronounced. They're whole.

Hotaru just smiled.

"Wait, you won't ask why?" I asked. Because normally, as you would probably do, you will look for a reason why.

"No, Cause I can see it in your eyes." She said.

And I hugged her so tight. She's the only one who could understand what I'm going through. And she helped me realized whom to choose.

The one who could give me happiness.

She helped me at that, and I'm glad I've met her.

I just so love her.

"Just do what your heart told you. Do not underestimate it's power to grant your wishes." She said, then she left me.

I've finally realized, in order for me to reach my happiness, I should be honest with myself. So that's the first thing I would do.

I stood up, then I ran and ran. I've through many corners. I was looking for Kotaru.

Why? You ask?

Cause I want to be honest with him. So there would be no misunderstandings later on. I want him to know my feelings. I don't care if he's going to curse me after this but, I know it's good to let him know.

I'm in the high school building, running. I don't care if the student's will look at me. It felt like I was running out of time.

But time is gold. I just felt the urge to tell him about my feelings.

And as I ran, I can spot him from the distance, reading a book. I ran towards him.

"Kotaru.." I said, while breathing hard.

"Oh, Mikan. What happened? You don't look good." He said.

"Yeah, I guess so. I'm here to tell you something." I said to him, with such a serious expression.

And he stared back, like he can predict what I was going to say.

"Go on, tell me." He justified. I knew it. He knew it.

"I'm here to tell you my feelings. I knew it wasn't easy to decide but, I hope you'll be able to understand. You're a great guy. I'm lucky that you can appreciate me. Thank you." I said, not knowing where to start and end this.

"You're funny. Just tell me if you're going to dump me or not." He said, and it was so amazing. He actually smiled. Like he wasn't affected or anything.

"I like you Kotaru."

"And...?"

"But I love Natsume." I said, with my vice whole as a mountain.

And he just stared.

"Oh please, say something.." I wished.

And he kept staring.

"Hey, Kotaru, what? Aren't you going to tell me something? You can hit me if you like." I asked of him. I was expecting a bitter comment. But surprisingly, he was cool and calm.

"You're insane, but, I have 3 words to say." He said, with his face, serious.

"What?" My hands were trembling.

"Woah. Nice. Really." Then he smirked.

"Huh? What do you mean?" I was confused.

"Do you wanna hear me out?" He said, as he put his hands on my shoulders.

"Hell, yeah." I said.

"Then listen. Look, I know, I fell in love with you. I love you. But I'm not numb. I can sense you love Natsume. Now, don't be a kid. The reason you seek for revenge is because you simply cannot accept the fact that you fell for him and you were tricked. I was hoping I can help you forget about him, but still, your heart still desired to be with him. So what can I do? None, right? I don't want to let you see unhappy when your with me."

"No Kotaru-I'm hap-" Before I could finish what I was about to say, he cut me off. He put his pointer finger on my lips.

"You're happy. I know. But you really wished I was Natsume, right?" He asked.

"Y-yes.." I shamely replied.

"See? You wished I was him, because I just look a lot like him. Well, I was a bit low over there but I already accepted the fact that if you were going to dump me, I'll accept it wholeheartedly." He said, and he was smiling.

"God, he was so amazing.." Was all I can say.

"Your not angry?" I actually asked, with my tears started crawling my eyes to seek it's way out.

"No! No! Don't cry, I won't be able to sleep at night if you are going to cry!" He said, as he pulled out his handkerchief onto his pockey and he started wiping it out.

"Why are you so understanding? I hate it."

"You want me to be selfish?"

"Of course not. I like this thing about you."

Then we both laughed.

"Seriously, I admired you Kotaru. But Natsume is really the one who made my world spin around."

"I know, just stop explaining. You're hurting me." He said it in a way a joke does.

"I'm sorry. But Kotaru, remember this, you're the greatest guy I've ever met." I said, as I looked onto his eyes. Then I suddenly felt the urge to hug him. So I hugged him. Tightly.

"Hey-! I can't breathe. Woah."

But he was hugging me back. Funny.

"Don't say those words ever again."

"Why?" He's just so weird.

"Cause it's making me fall for you over and over again."

By the time he said those words. I felt kinda sorry for him. But of course I was flattered.

I just smiled.

"Kotaru."

"Yes?" He said, as he looked through me with that eyes of his, and with his face, similar to his jerk cousin.

"Close your eyes, and hear me out. Don't ever open it until I say so."

Then he shut his eyes.

I stood up a little so I can reach his ears. Then I slowly whispered, "Thank you for everything. I don't hate you, okay? I actually like you. It was nice meeting you." Then I kissed his cheeks as I reached for his hands. "Open your eyes and shut your mouth."

Then he opened his eyes. And he was smiling.

"What a sweet way to dump someone like me." He commented.

"I said shut your mouth!"

"Your lucky. You're the first girl who ever dumped me. This is a legend. Woah." Then he laughed.

I just smiled at him, then I waved goodbye.

He waved goodbye too. "Follow your heart." Was the last statement I heard.

And I would actually would. I'll follow this thing no matter what it takes.

"Thank you Kotaru for understanding me. I hope you would be able to find someone who would suit you best. The one who's gonna worth you more than me. The one who could make your world spin crazy. Just like what Natsume did to mine. I hope you'll find her immediately."

It was my thoughts as soon as I ran away...

To run to the one I love the most, Natsume Hyuuga.