A/N. NOTE TO ALL READERS: Please, for the love of God, before you ask any questions about typos or dates, read the author notes! There is usually an explanation, if not the specific chapter than the next one. I don't write them JUST to yap about myself - THEY ARE THERE FOR A REASON.

Please, don't waste my time with all the "that movie wasn't released yet" nonsense, because it is explained that YES I know the real release dates, but I wanted to use them anyway and it's my story so I can do that.

I'm sorry if this sounds rude, but really, use your head and read a little before accusing me of being an idiot. Because I'm not. I do my research, for fuck's sake.

ALSO! I am SOOOOO SORRY ABOUT MY ABSENCE! Life is hard, and motherhood is harder. I am convinced that my son has the worst case of colic that seemed to come out of NOWHERE. I have been living off an hour of sleep a night.

JUST WHEN I THOUGHT HE WOULD SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT, HE STARTS THIS.

*rant over*

PLEASE NOTE that there is an obvious time jump, but it is self-evident and doesn't matter.

...~oOo~...

Chapter Forty-Three: A Change in Plans

Remus was a better actor than people gave him credit for. He had managed to hide his pseudo-girlfriend, and he had managed to hide his real reaction to Hermione's confession.

In reality, he had nodded with raised eyebrows, expressing the proper amount of concern and asking questions.

In his mind, though, his reaction went a little like this...

WHAT THE FUCK?!

What did this mean? How much did she know about the current war? What was this mysterious book? Why did she need it so badly before falling through time? Whose wedding had she been at? Professor, what?

So after the reveal, Remus had very politely excused himself to use the loo and quietly hit his head against the wall for a few minutes.

Questions plagued him still, weeks later. He tried to be subtle in interrogating Hermione, but it quickly became harassment. Not that he cared. His dreams were even reflecting his curiosity, images of Hermione wearing metal outfits from the future that protect her from aliens that have taken over the world.

He was watching too much telly, obviously.

...

"Alright, boys..." Hermione said, walking into the kitchen one afternoon with the post. "Who subscribed me to a bridal magazine?" She held up the thin book accusingly, the cover showing a young witch in beautiful wedding robes, a crown of flowers in her hair, winking out at them, and slowly twirling to display all angles of the clothes.

"Wasn't me," Sirius immediately said from where he stood at the toaster.

Remus shrugged. "And you know it wasn't me."

"It must have been Lily or Alice," Hermione said, shaking her head and slamming it down onto the kitchen table. "They just won't stop, will they?"

"Not until we're hitched, no," Sirius said with obvious glee, a big smile on his face.

"I mean, Lily already roped me into buying a dress - which takes up far too much room in my closet, by the way," Hermione said, ducking into the fridge and pulling out the apple juice. "And who knows how long before I wear it. I might be gigantic and need to have it resized."

"By gigantic, do you mean knocked up?" Remus asked nervously. Sirius's smile widened.

"No, of course not," Hermione said stiffly. "I mean fat. Sirius, would you still love me if I were fat?"

"Are we talking, like, chubby or... Hagrid-sized?"

Hermione took the magazine rolled it up and hit Sirius hard on the arm.

"Ow! What was that for?" Sirius asked.

"The right answer was, 'Of course, darling'," she growled.

"Of course, darling," he mumbled, returning to watching his toast. There was no winning with Hermione. "Do you plan on having a major increase in weight soon?"

"No, it's just nice to hear that you'd love me no matter what," Hermione said, saddling up close next to him, pressing a light kiss to his shoulder.

"Why else would I ask you to marry me?" Sirius said, placing his hand on the small of her back.

Hermione shrugged. "I frankly have no idea."

Remus smirked. Hermione and Sirius were so lovestruck, it was truly amusing to him. Anyone else would feel like a third wheel, but Remus was just happy to see two of his best friends happy.

Though, there was that niggling sense of betrayal... Such a big secret was being concealed from Sirius, and now Remus shared it.

And Remus could tell Sirius was getting suspicious of him. There were days where Remus would jump on the chance to go grocery shopping with Hermione, because he meant to ask her more questions (alright, harass her, whatever). And Remus and Hermione sometimes stayed up late or got up early because of their skewed sleeping habits and nightmares.

Sirius noticed all these changed, Remus knew this. And he was starting to watch Remus more closely.

Sirius was jealous by nature. He never let anyone play with his toys and didn't like anyone looking at Hermione for longer than necessary.

Remus came back to the present when Hermione gave Sirius a kiss on the nape of Sirius's neck and then walked away, probably in search of a book.

To appease Sirius, Remus didn't follow Hermione, no matter how much he was dying for answers.

...~oOo~...

It was a dark day, in every sense. Steely clouds hung in the sky, making every face pale and grey. The sun hid. And the ever Order member donned black robes.

They'd all heard the story a hundred times, and it hurt every time. How they fought like heroes, how the Death Eaters had to work for their lives. How back-up was mere minutes late.

The graves were shiny, new among the rows, sidled up beside each other for the rest of eternity, Fabian and Gideon's names gleamed.

Behind Hermione, Sirius stood, one hand on her waist and his face pressed into the top of her head. He was devastated, and she knew he didn't know how to handle the grief.

Molly Weasley was bawling into her husband's shoulder while holding the hand of her last surviving brother, Bilius.

Hermione hated herself. She had had a chance to change all of the Order members' futures, all with the use of that little blue book, but instead had Dumbledore destroy it. How stupid has she been.

In her mind, she was worse than the Death Eaters. She was personally stealing lives from people she cared about.

It was an ugly day, indeed. Even a murder of crows pecked at the ground not far away. It was the perfect image of mourning - people grouped in black, evil-looking birds, and cracked statues lined up with graves.

Hermione did a head count of the Order. There were half as many witches and wizards as when she started. And though the reign of terror was almost over, Hermione knew exactly who had to be lost in order to get there.

Her gaze slid over to where James had Lily curled in his arms as she wept.

And Hermione made a snap decision.

No.

Not them.

Anyone but them.

...~oOo~...

"Hermione..."

At first, Hermione didn't hear the voice. Eyes shut, she was hanging over the sink in the bathroom, braced on her forearms. She was listening to the running sink and shower. They both were at their hottest temperature, fogging up the mirror with its steam. Droplets of the perspiration ran down her face.

"Hermione," Sirius said, firmer, from the doorway.

Hermione opened her eyes slightly. She must have looked insane. She hadn't slept for weeks, she was down to eating a half of a meal a day, and she had completely withdrawn herself from those she cared about.

And now she was standing in nothing but a bra and panties in front of the mirror while she ran the water of both sink and shower for Merlin knows how long.

Hermione didn't answer Sirius, only watched as he reached around her to turn off the sink and then went to turn off the shower, hissing in pain when the burning hot water splashed him.

"Christ," he uttered, pulled away and shaking his blistered hand. "Hermione, I think you should go to St. Mungo's."

"No," was all she said.

Sirius's eyes turned slate black in a second. "I wasn't asking. Remus and I have been talking and we think -"

"No," Hermione said, sharper this time. But then she let out a long sigh and straightened up. "I'm sorry, Sirius." She went to him slowly, gently placing her hands on either side of his chest and then pressing her face over his heart. "I just feel so cold."

Hermione had felt bone cold for days as she struggled to find an answer, a way...

"So you made yourself a steam closet?" Sirius said, sounding skeptical.

Hermione nodded.

With a defeated sigh, Sirius put his hands on her back, pulling her closer and rubbing circles on her bare skin. "Let's go to bed, love. I'll keep you warm." His tone had no sexual undertones, just a deep concern and throbbing adoration.

"Alright, just a moment," Hermione said pulling away carefully and opening the medicine cabinet and taking out a potion.

Sirius saw it and rubbed his eyes. Every month they went through this, and Sirius didn't think Hermione knew just how much it hurt every time she pulled out that little purple potion. She uncorked it, and like every month, Sirius said, "Please don't take that."

And like every month, Hermione gave him a sad look and took it anyway.

Hermione put the bottle back along side the other Contraceptive Potions for the next months.

There was a time when Hermione took the potion because she wanted to wait. Because even when she knew the future, and knew it was all hopeless, she had this fantasy dancing through her head that somehow just her presence would change everything. That soon Voldemort would be vanquished and she and Sirius would be free to pop out as many babies as their hearts desired.

It was an idiotic notion. One that she should have stifled long ago.

Now she took the potion because she never wanted to bring children into such a wretched, unforgiving world.

...~oOo~...

"I'm going out," Hermione said the next evening.

"Where to?"

"Picking up some candy for trick-or-treaters," Hermione told Sirius.

"We have plenty," Remus said, confused.

Hermione continued buttoning up her great coat in a hurry all the same, wrapping a scarf around her head and neck. It was a very cold autumn.

"Not all children like licorice," Hermione explained, her voice sounding funny to the boys' ears.

Sirius's brow was furrowed. "What do we care? They knock on the door, we throw candy at them, they go away. If they don't like it that's their problem."

Without responding, Hermione went to Sirius, met his beautiful smoky grey eyes and stared for longer than she should. Unable to help herself, she stroked his bristled cheek and ran her hands back through his too long, silky black hair.

"You are too handsome for your own good," Hermione whispered. One look at you, and I want nothing more than to stay. One look at you, and I don't mind destroying everything you love most by simply staying in and watching a film with you.

And she kissed him. It was a light, barely-there kiss that made Hermione's bones shake.

Then she gave Remus a hug. A quick one, so she didn't raise suspicion further. "I'll see you... later."

Hermione didn't look back once after swinging around and walking through the front door. But, oh, she wish she had.

...~oOo~...

Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. What will happen in Godric's Hollow toight? 3. What will this mean for the future?

~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~