Planar Chaos
Chapter 12: Partying Up
"Marthel, why are we hanging streamers in my apartment, exactly?" Odom tossed a line of blue crepe paper over his immobile ceiling fan. "I know you said this was supposed to be a party, but does it really need to be this hard to clean up? I have important business with Niv Mizzet in a few hours. It's something that has to be done before we leave for Xerex."
"Can't Ashleigh help you?" Marthel took a brief break from blowing up a rainbow of balloons.
"She's busy tending to the baby." Odom smiled and his eyes seemed to get a little misty. He shot another streamer, a red one this time, across the room to where it stuck to the far wall. Said wall had been coated with a sticky substance Marthel wasn't curious about in the slightest.
"You keep calling this thing a baby, Odom. It's an artificial life form."
"Excuse me," Odom said, turning to Marthel, "this creature is as much my child as Maelstrom is my Brofessional Browler."
"Your what?"
"Browler? It's a pun on bowler? Have you even been bowling?"
"What in the name of the Furnaces of Rath is bowling?" Marthel asked.
"You roll a heavy ball down a lane and knock over pins. It's actually quite fun, but Ash cheats and used the bumpers because she can't roll in a straight line. Of course there was also that one time my fingers got stuck and my arm came off." Odom flexed the hand attached to his treelike arm. "That was hard to explain to the owner of the place, since they have a strict 'no undead' rule and limbs falling off definitely isn't usual amongst the living."
Before Marthel could answer, there was a knock.
"Come in, it's open," Odom called, returning to launching streamers.
Sverre cautiously opened the door, more for the benefit of Oona, who was sitting in his hood like it was a hammock. He had a vague idea of what to expect inside of Odom's home. The scene before him was not part of that vague idea.
A "Multiverse's Best Dad" mug sat on the kitchen counter filled to the brim with what smelled like coffee. Marthel was sitting on the back of a chair blowing up birthday balloons while Odom launched streamers from a small catapult.
"I'm confused," Sverre said, pushing his winged helmet farther back on his head. "What kind of party is this?"
"Hopefully one to celebrate a ten-way equal partnership for exploration," Marthel said.
"I still think Brock won't go for it," Odom replied. "He's going to hear 'ancient research' and 'untold capabilities' and immediately want to keep it away from everyone."
"Not everyone," Marthel shot back, "just your girlfriend."
"Seriously, guys, Ashleigh isn't evil. She's just misunderstood."
"Ashleigh?" Oona popped her head over Sverre's shoulder.
"Yes, dear," Sverre said, answering her unspoken question. "That Ashleigh, your little champion. She's all grown up now and more than a little insane from what I've gathered. Something Maralen did to her after your escape."
"She hears voices, and they don't stop unless she's completely alone or on a dead plane," Odom explained. "By the way, it's finally nice to meet your Queen, Sverre. You're right, she is incredibly beautiful, however there's some mechanics that I don't think would work out very well."
"Odom," Marthel cut in, "please get your mind out of the gutter."
"It goes where it goes," Odom said, shrugging. "Grab a seat, Sverre, we've still got more friends to wait on.
Rinok and Rhyne came through the door next.
"This had better be interesting, Marthel," Rhyne said. He leaned against the wall nearest the door scratching at his wild beard.
"If things are dull I could certainly get us into a Rakdos revel," Rinok smiled menacingly. "I've kept my signet through the years and they love plus ones."
"I suppose massacring people coated in pig blood could be fun," Rhyne sighed.
Odom pulled Marthel aside. "Just who the Helheim have you invited into my house?"
"A warmonger and an incredibly bored sadist," Marthel said matter-of-factly.
"For the record, I am not okay with that."
"It's going to take a certain level of ruthlessness to get to the center of Xerex. I know of nobody better suited for the job." Marthel turned back to his guests. "It's going to be quite interesting, I can assure you. As soon as the rest of our guests arrive, we have a couple of announcements to make."
Ashleigh called up from the laboratory one floor down, "I'm not finished with the nursery yet! Can't you all wait?"
"We'll do our best," Odom called back down. "Just make sure the baby is awake when we get down there."
"Baby?" Rhyne cocked an eyebrow. "How could you two possibly have a baby?"
"Planeswalkers can have children, but we didn't actually make this one ourselves. Okay, we did, but not the old fashioned way," Odom said.
"They created a creature," Marthel said. He was beginning to be very happy that he'd left Nadia at home for the time being.
"I certainly hope it's as interesting as you think it is, Marthel," Kyari said. She had once again let herself in, baby hydra sitting on her shoulder.
"How do you keep doing that?" Marthel's voice shot up a couple of octaves.
"I'll be honest. I bought a whispersilk cloak." Kyari shrugged. She then caught sight of Rinok. "You." Her eyes narrowed.
"Hello again, Kyari Alexiona," Rinok chuckled. "I wonder if this time you've changed your mind, or do you still cling to the sad fate hidden behind the illusion of peace?"
"I certainly still prefer peace to war, Rinok." She turned her attention to the walkers she had not met. "Greetings, my name is Kyari Alexiona, of Shandalar."
"Sverre, of Helheim. This is my wife, Oona." He let the fairy queen stand on his hand to curtsy.
"Pleased to make your acquaintance, Kyari," Oona said politely.
"Wait. You're that Oona? But didn't you die? Maralen rules Lorwyn now," Kyari said. Her mind went immediately to what Marthel had said of Sverre, that he was a necromancer. "I see you can't leave the dead alone, Sverre. Marthel warned me of that."
"I can assure you, the cold claws of death have never once touched my lovely Oona." Sverre was offended by the very implication of Oona being a resurrected corpse, and it showed in his voice.
Kyari backed off. She looked to the other unfamiliar walker in the room, a young man with unkempt hair. "What is your name," she asked.
"My name is Rhyne. There are those who call me the Wildfire of Fiora," he replied.
"I can't say I've heard of you," Kyari said.
"And I can't say I've heard of you, it seems like we run in different circles."
"Speaking of circles," Marthel interrupted, "I think more guests are arriving."
Brock entered, followed by Sa'Raah. They were in the midst of a heated discussion.
"Don't you see," Brock said, "that a multiverse ruled by a single dragonlord would never work? People's freedoms on completely different planes with different magic and rules would be squashed just to institute one dictator over them. And what of the planes that have no dragons?"
"Such places will be home to the growing brood. When you look to the skies how can you not be awestruck by the fearsome superiority of the draconic race?" Sa'Raah said. She hadn't taken notice of Rinok yet, but he had taken notice of her. A feral sparkle lit up his eyes. The dragon girl's dead body would certainly light the fires of war in Sarkhan once again, even if he was at war against Rinok. Such a conflict could be dragged out across the planes, never ending and always renewing itself. Yes. Sa'Raah was his key to eternal warfare.
"I just don't like the idea of someone on another plane who has never met me telling me how to live my life," Brock said.
"You studied under Ojutai, correct?"
"Yes."
"Then you know the dragons are far superior to any other race. Their infinite wisdom has given Tarkir peace for a thousand years." Sa'Raah crossed her arms. "How can't you see that?"
"Because I've studied under more people than just Master Ojutai. I've learned about different worlds and the people who inhabit them." Brock's robes were swishing around him as he gesticulated to punctuate his sentences. A vein that Kyari knew only appeared when Brock was incredibly agitated throbbed on his bald scalp. "I learned that there's more knowledge out there than just what the dragonlords told us."
"Ahem," Marthel coughed. "I think we're waiting for just one more."
"It's nice to see you, Sa'Raah," Kyari said. "How've you been?"
"Oh, just fine. Have you been trapping any more baby dragons?" There was a slight edge to her voice.
"We only did that the one time," Odom interjected. "And we healed it afterwards. Are you still mad about that?"
"You hurt one of my family, of course I am."
"And this is why I don't think we'd work well together, Marthel, this crap right here." Odom gestured to Sa'Raah. "She doesn't know how to let things go."
"She does have a point, Odom," Marthel said. "Some of your methods are questionable."
"Don't go taking her side when you're using my house to host your party."
Another knock sounded at the door. Odom peered through the peephole and saw a vampire wearing an Orzhov signet as an ascot pin. Odom opened the door. "I didn't do it and I don't want any." He slammed it in the vampire's face.
"Was that a vampire?" Marthel asked.
"Yes."
"Did he have a canvas under one arm?"
"I don't know," Odom said. "Let me check."
He opened the door again, noted a canvas, and slammed the door before the vampire could respond.
"Yeah, why?" Odom asked Marthel.
"That's our last guest. Let him in." Marthel pushed his way through the now slightly crowded living space and opened the door. "I'm sorry about that, Vilhelm. Odom's a bit... jumpy might be the right word."
"It's fine," Vilhelm said. He smiled, revealing his long fangs. "I'm used to it as a debt collector."
"Is that your latest piece?" Marthel's hand twitched towards the painting.
"Mhm. It's a portrait of Lady Teysa. Want to see?"
"Everyone gather around," Marthel commanded. "This is what a real blood artist can do."
Vilhelm pulled away the cover in a dramatic fashion. Several faces blushed bright red, others glanced around awkwardly. The image was definitely of Lady Teysa, Envoy of the Ghost Council, but she was in a rather compromising position with Vilhelm himself.
If vampires could blush, the partygoers believed the expression on Vilhelm's face would have been accompanied by a red color. "Oops," he said, immediately covering the moving painting back up. "That wasn't the one I meant to grab."
"We all make mistakes. It's fine." Marthel patted the poor guy on the back. He made a mental note to ask Ashleigh if she wanted to "borrow" a particular memory later.
"Nursery's ready!" Ashleigh called.
"Time for you all to meet our baby." Odom smiled brightly. He proudly led the way down the stairs into the lab that had been apartment 445. That lab had been converted into a mockery of a nursery. A large plush approximation of Kozilek sat in one corner. The incubation chamber had been modified to resemble a bassinet, complete with red pillows and a large black bow. A mobile hung above this bizarre crib, decorated with miniatures of the Praetors of New Phyrexia surrounding a slightly larger miniature of Emrakul that hurt the eyes of everyone but Odom to look at.
Ashleigh herself was wearing what seemed to be a maternity dress and cradling something wrapped in an electric blue blanket. The bottle from which she fed it glowed faintly. Her hair was tossed back in a messy bun, a few strands plastered to her forehead with sweat.
"You would not believe how much baby abominations eat," she chuckled. Her eyes never left the creature's.
"I can only imagine," Kyari said. She'd taken the first step forward. "May I?"
"Hold it? Of course," Ashleigh removed the bottle from the creature's beaklike mouth and handed it to Kyari.
Odom was by Ashleigh's side in an instant, one arm restraining her gently. "It has DNA from at least five different dragon species from six different planes. I even utilized some beast, kraken, and a smidgen of eldrazi."
"Dragon?" Sa'Raah perked up immediately. She rushed forward to peer at the creature. It wriggled in Kyari's grasp, freeing itself of its blankets. A dragonlike tail and stubby wings were soon visible.
"Mhm," Ashleigh said proudly.
"Oh isn't it just the cutest little thing," Sa'Raah cooed. "Such a sweet little baby!" The being had dragon blood. It was part of Sa'Raah's family and would know the might of its kindred in time. This creature might be the key to subduing the multiverse under Dromoka's compassionate fist.
"It truly is fantastic, Odom," Sverre said. "I've never seen its equal, and I was present for the incident with Krajj."
"A creature with so much potential deserves to carry me into battle," Rinok said. "How much are you selling it for?"
"I'd rather see it in action before I start tossing out bids, Rinok," Rhyne replied. "Maybe we ought to set it loose on a peaceful plane for a trial run."
"You're all insane," Brock cried. "Can't you see we have to destroy it?"
Ashleigh snatched the creature back from Kyari and Sa'Raah, clutching it protectively to her chest. She made a growling noise at Brock.
"Brock," Kyari said, moving to stand next to him, "we don't know that it's a threat yet. I think we ought to give it some time."
"Literally everyone in this room is thinking of ways to use it to destroy the multiverse," Brock groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"That's not true," Marthel said, "and you know it."
"It might be dangerous," Sverre said, "but for now it's just a baby. You wouldn't murder a baby animal in cold blood, would you, Brock? I certainly wouldn't, and I'm arguably the most immoral person here. I don't see any of you flouting the laws of life and death on a daily basis."
"You're in on this with her, aren't you?" Brock pointed an accusing finger at Sverre.
"No, but I assure you if she and Odom had asked for my help in creating a creature I would have gladly given it because I consider them my friends."
Vilhelm remained quiet, watching as the group of planeswalkers slowly began to turn on each other. The factions were already forming, and he had some idea of where everyone's loyalties would fall.
"I suppose we won't be one big happy adventuring party when we planeswalk to Xerex?" Marthel sighed dejectedly.
"Xerex?" Every head in the room that didn't already know their destination turned to Marthel.
"Yep, the maze. I was going to ask you all to come with me to find our way to the center. Urza is rumored to have left some research down there, and I want to know what it is." Marthel shrugged. "But I can't even trust you all to not fight over something as simple as an abomination."
"Whatever is at the center of Xerex can't fall into the wrong hands," Brock said. "I'll definitely come with you."
"What exactly do you consider the wrong hands?" Odom barked.
"Not you and your psychotic sidekick."
"Hey, Ashleigh is way more than just my sidekick!"
Sa'Raah rounded on Brock. "I suppose my hands are the wrong ones too?"
"What?" Brock threw his hands up. "No, that's not what I meant at all. I just don't think that the potentially world changing things down there should be in the hands of an insane woman who has expressed on multiple occasions she wants to destroy the world."
"I keep telling you she won't actually go through with it," Odom said.
"Well I certainly want whatever's down there," Rinok said. "It could improve my weapons. I could wage war across multiple planes at once."
"Eternal warfare does sound like fun." Rhyne smirked. "There's a lot of brutality to be visited on people and worlds and things."
"Well I need it to revive our lost powers," Sverre said. "I'm more than willing to share the research with whoever wants it."
"I just want to know what's down there," Ashleigh said softly.
"Sverre do you even realize you would destroy the balance of the multiverse," Kyari said. "It's evolved to deal with less powerful planeswalkers, we can't throw a wrench into the interplanar ecosystem like that."
"Rinok isn't getting ahold of that research while I'm still alive," Sa'Raah said. "It belongs in the hands of those who will use it wisest."
"You mean the dragons?" Brock rolled his eyes.
"She means people who won't abuse it. Say what you want about her plan, but Dromoka and Ojutai are certainly wise enough to understand." Kyari placed a calming hand on Brock's arm.
"I guess we're splitting up, gang," Marthel sighed.
Sverre, Odom, and Ashleigh stood in one corner, Ashleigh cradling her precious creature. Kyari stood with Brock and Sa'Raah across from them. Vilhelm found himself with Rinok and Rhyne while Marthel stood in the center wondering where he went wrong.
