It was after four in the morning before Luke and Marcus had Raphael in a remotely stable holding pattern, and it had required going through almost their entire blood reserve of the type that he and Donatello shared. The delicate process of re-inflating the collapsed lung and closing up what had been nearly fatal injuries had taken a lot out of both doctors, but it was Luke who was currently on the verge of collapse, and Marcus knew it.
"Luke, go catch your breath." His friend directed him. "Donny hasn't stirred in hours, and I can stay with Raph."
They'd intentionally given the purple-banded turtle additional medication in his IV unit that would force him to sleep, as they both knew full well he would have remained completely occupied with everything that they were doing for Raphael.
"It's okay Marcus, I don't need to go anywhere." He said resolutely. "His vitals still aren't where they need to be."
"Right, and I'm here Luke. So get your tail out of here for a few minutes at least, before you lose it." Marc urged him, as Luke's shoulders slumped further.
Katherine reached for him as he went by her, but he waved off her arm.
"I'm fine Kat." He said as evenly as he could manage. "I just need to sit down for a little while. I'll be back."
Leonardo and Greg sat up from their perches when he entered the living area.
"You guys should be getting some sleep." He told them. "We've done what we can, it's just a waiting game now."
"Doc, let me get you something." Leonardo said insistently.
"Leo, I don't think I can even stomach anything right now. I'm just going to satisfy Marc, chill out for a couple of minutes." Luke replied. "Seriously, get some rest. We'll tell you if anything changes."
Without the energy to urge them any further than that, he climbed the staircase to go to the bathroom upstairs. His grip on the railing felt like a lifeline, as if he was physically being forced to drag his own body up the steps. The man collided with the wall behind the closed bathroom door, pent-up stress and emotion exploding as if it wouldn't have stayed under the surface for a moment longer.
With his head buried in his knees, he made some attempt to muffle the outpouring, but not enough. Brandon hesitated outside the door for a couple of minutes, before working up the nerve walk in on him. The man didn't honestly know what to say, so he just walked over to Luke's side, and sat down beside him.
When the doctor looked as if about to rise, Brandon instantly pulled him back. "Take your time." He encouraged him. "You're not a machine Luke - you can't go on indefinitely. Just sit here for awhile, okay? Either that, or we can go somewhere more comfortable." He suggested.
"No, I can't let them see it." Luke answered. "I need to get it together, and get back down there."
But even as he tried to do that, another wave of emotion stronger than the last swept over him. He felt Brandon's hand on his arm after a moment.
"You know, you're even more amazing than I thought you were." The man told him quietly.
"I'm not." Luke said when he could. "I almost lost him, and we still don't know what will happen. I couldn't even tell the others everything yet. He has burns from the number of times I shocked his heart, I can't even believe he survived three hours of surgery. I didn't think he would - but I couldn't stop without trying."
"He's alive Luke, and that's thanks to you, you and Marcus."
"He's alive because I knowingly allowed Donatello to endanger his own life, fully aware of the risks. Without those pints from him, he wouldn't have survived the trip. I let him do something that put him in a life-threatening position of his own. Where's the responsibility in that?" Luke's voice soared and cracked through the emotion of the statement. "They entrust their lives to me. I have to make the tough decisions, not bow to their wishes. I never should have let it come that close."
"Luke, he got through it." Brandon said quietly. "And you said yourself, Raphael wouldn't have lasted if you didn't."
"And that makes it okay? It's okay to nearly kill one, as long as it might save the other? What kind of doctor operates under that jargon?"
"All I'm saying is, both of them are alive, and you've had a large part to play in that. You're not dealing with normal circumstances or conditions, so you can't go by the rules and regulations that have been ingrained in you. What you ought focus on right now is the fact that they're alive. You fought, and you won." Brandon finished firmly.
"We haven't won yet." Luke said morosely. "And it's far from over, even with this single crisis. We currently have four others to be worried about too."
Brandon didn't say anything for a few seconds. "Tell me again, how you know Karina's alive?"
"The implant she has delivers her vital statistics to us Brandon, in addition to being able to track her location." Luke replied. "I can say with certainty that Michelangelo, Karina, and Jenna are alive."
"What about the fourth?"
"She's only been around here for about a month, not long enough to have acquired an implant already." Luke answered, and looked back at the floor. "Honestly, I fear for her life more than the others."
"Why's that?"
"It's a long story, that I don't want to get completely entangled in at the moment. Sufficed to say, these people have plenty reason to want her dead, and they've already tried to kill her father before."
Luke closed his eyes with a shaky breath, and Brandon sensed he wasn't helping matters, so he changed the subject.
"Raphael is an interesting guy, isn't he?" Brandon tried to ask casually.
"That's one way to put it."
"Something he said when he came to see me days ago, and again tonight...Luke, it sounds like he's got feelings for Karina."
The doctor exhaled sharply. "It's not my place."
"After all this, I think you should be able to level with me. The last thing he said to me was to tell Karina he was sorry. Are you going to try and say he doesn't care about her that way?"
"I never said he didn't."
"Luke, please? I'm trying to figure things out here, but I can't do it alone. It's a simple question - does he, or doesn't he?"
Luke finally nodded, since it seemed there was no hiding it from him anyway.
"What about her?"
Now Luke really bit his lip from responding.
"Do you realize that you're answering the question by not answering it?"
"Brandon, this isn't something that the two of us should be discussing."
"Is he good to her?" Brandon asked with an edge. "Does he respect her?"
Luke sighed heavily. "She couldn't be in better hands than she is with him. There's nothing in this world he wouldn't do for her, and he'd sooner die himself than let anyone hurt her. I know how strange this must feel to you, how frightening it is to be thrown into. But you've got to at least trust your sisters' instincts, that they know what they're doing. If you could get to know these guys, you'd see it too, I promise you."
"I've seen enough already I think." Brandon said a little sharply, but then immediately softened. "I've seen that he...all of them, care more about everyone else than they do themselves. That kind of selflessness is hard to come by, and they all have it in droves, don't they?"
"Every last one of them Brandon."
Leonardo was currently lying flat on his plastron on the end of his bed, feeling more than a little bit lost. He'd always considered it his responsibility to be strong for the others, to be the one who didn't waver, no matter what they were going through. How easy it had been to neglect the truth that they had often helped him to stand, as much as he'd needed to be strong for them.
No one creature can maintain a family alone, his Master's voice came back to him from years previous, when he'd confessed his fears of inability to his dying Sensei. You have often tended to take too much upon yourself. If the clan is to remain as it is now, it will take effort from every single one of you. All of you must share this responsibility in order to stand as One.
He rested his forehead firmly against his pillow, as tears threatened again. Why had he always thought that he could even be strong enough to single-handedly support the entire structure? Now that he was currently left with none of them by his side, he barely felt strong enough to lift a finger.
Now I know how Mike must have felt before. Where am I supposed to draw strength from, when there isn't any left to be found?
As he closed his eyes with that question, he felt a tingling sensation across his skin, a feeling akin to what he'd felt in that prison cell in Dayton, the morning before the tornado had struck. He didn't so much as move an inch, barely daring to even breathe as waves of an unseen presence met him a second time.
To come to the end of your resources is not the end of everything. My strength is made perfect in weakness.
His dark eyes came open at that, and he trembled slightly as a sensation that felt very much like a breeze traveled over his shell. When he breathed now, it seemed that there was a sudden freshness to the dank air he was used to living in underground. It spoke of all the newness of Spring, like the clean scent left after the rain had fallen. He breathed it deeply, and rested his head deeper against his pillow again.
They're not in your hands, the Voice reminded him. You are not charged to sustain them. As you are coming to the end of yourself, you've hardly begun to crack the surface of My own strength.
There might have been more, but the blue-banded turtle was already on the fringe of exhaustion as it was, and the peace he felt at that moment made it even harder to remain awake. Heavy eyes closed on their own accord, and he fell asleep beside quiet waters.
