KARI

I was not sure how long I had to compose myself before Edward came up; I just knew that I had to, for both Ben's sake and mine. I would not let anything happen to someone as special as he was, just because I was not strong enough to deal with this shit. Composing myself, however, was a feat that was easier sad and thought about than it was done.

Too much had happened today for me to get a grip on myself. I mean, I had just been forced to accept another master right after telling the man I most likely loved that I did not want anything more to do with him. How was I supposed pretend like none of that ever happened? It is not as if I had an emotional switch that I could flip on and off. I needed time to process this shit. Time that I did not have. It had to be done, though; there was no way around it. I had to save Ben in the only way I knew how.

I sat on Edward's bed taking deep breaths and wiping furiously at the tears that did not want to go away. I forced myself not to think about what happened today. Instead, I focused my thoughts on mentally preparing for whatever Edward was going to do to me today. Those thoughts had the desired effect. I was no longer upset about Dimitri or Ben, but I was definitely terrified of what might happen with Edward tonight. That was good though. At least, I could be honest about what was upsetting me if Edward asked.

I took a couple more deep breaths, just to make sure that I was ready for this, and then I stood and walked to the bathroom on shaking legs. I had to make sure that Dimitri did not leave any incriminating evidence.

The first thing I did was rip the bandage from my arm and flush it down the toilet. Edward would most definitely have noticed it and question who had hurt me. The cut was not completely closed and there was still some blood seeping out. I hoped that I could convince Edward that I simply cut it on something in the room, if he noticed that it was there. If not, I was in trouble.

I did not dwell on those thought for too long, before looking at my face in the mirror. I had to make sure that I had no traces of blood or semen on it. I was definitely in trouble if Edward spotted any of that.

I examined the area around my mouth extra carefully and when I found nothing, I turned to go back into the room. I froze, though, when I got a good glimpse of my face in the mirror. It was like looking at a stranger almost.

I knew it had nothing to do with the cuts, bruises and scars that covered a good majority of my face, chest, and shoulders. I had spent most of my life seeing them when I looked in the mirror. It went so much deeper than that.

I could imagine the dark circles under the black eyes of the girl in the mirror. I could see her thin and sallow face. It was most likely cause by the on again, off again diet. The pale, bloodshot eyes looked blank, almost dead. Her lips were chapped and swollen from the abuse that they had been put through on a near nightly basis. In addition, her body from the shoulders up was shaking with repressed anger, sadness, and fear.

At first, I could not quite figure out what made the girl in the mirror so different from me. She did not look any different than she did any other time that I looked in the mirror, at least physically. That was when it hit me; I was a completely different person, mentally and emotionally now. Sure, the outside had not changed, at all, but the inside had taken a turn for the worse.

I had spent a good majority of my life being abused by my father and yet, I remained strong and brave throughout the whole thing. I stood up to him and fought back when I could and I never let him see how much what he had done was hurting me. I never let him break me or see me cry.

I stayed strong in the face of my father, regardless of the years of torment. Whenever I looked in the mirror back then, I saw a strong brave girl worth fighting for. I saw a future worth living to see and the chance to get away from him.

Now, though, all I saw was a scared little girl who desperately wanted her mother. I saw someone who could not stand up for herself. Someone who had let herself become Edward's little bitch, because she was too weak to fight back; someone who had let herself down and let Edward take what he wanted because she was nothing more than a pathetic little human. I saw a girl who had been shattered into tiny little piece that would never be put back together again.

What happened to me? I survived years at the hands of my father, but allowed Edward to break me in the course of a month. I had allowed Edward to get me here, where there was no way out.

Pain, anger, and sadness rolled over me in crippling waves at that realization. I could not figure out how exactly I got to this point. Had I not always been strong enough to fight my way through everything? Why couldn't I fight my way through this too?

The anger welled up stronger than any other emotion. I did not have a clue what I was angry with, either. All I knew was the anger that was fighting its way through my heart. I needed to hurt someone or something. I needed to scream and cry and just let it all go.

Before I even decided to do anything, my left fist went through the mirror so hard that it cracked in several places, and a couple large chunks fell out. I looked at me broken reflection for only another second before I let my eyes fall on the large piece in the sink.

It was long and sharp. Nothing in my entire life ever looked so appealing. That was crazy, because I had never once in this life contemplated killing, or even hurting myself. Not when my mom died, or when father started hitting me, or even the night Kenzi was kidnapped. I always had reasons to stay alive.

When mother died and the abuse started, it was my need to take care of Kenzi that kept me from taking the easy way out. Even after she was taken, though, I knew that there would one day be a way out from under father and his abuse. I had no idea that way out would lead me to Edward.

I had only been here for a month, but I knew that there was only one way for me to get away from him. Death, and if I was going to die, I had much rather it be on my terms than Edward's. Besides, it was not as if I was needed here anymore anyway.

Kenzi had Alice now. Alice would protect and take care of her, no matter what. I had no worries that she would spend the rest of her life happy and healthy in the hands of Alice. My little sister did not need me anymore, not really. I was sure that she would rather see me dead then spend the rest of my life in the hands of the monster that is Edward Cullen. She even said it, that first day a little over a month ago. I would just be giving her what she had hoped for then.

As for Ben, I knew he loved me and that I loved him, but that did not matter. It was too hard for us to be together in this world. Especially since, I was human and he was supposed to be my master's most loyal man. Who knows, though? Maybe my death would give him a reason to walk away from Edward and start doing the right thing. If my death could give him the push he needed to do what needed to be done, I would gladly die.

Before I had even completely decided, I walked over to the bathroom door, shut and locked in. I knew that the lock would not hold Edward back, if he really wanted to get in, I just prayed that it would be enough to keep him away until I had done the deed.

I walked back to the sink on shaking knees—nearly falling into it—and grabbed the long piece of glass out of it. I sat down on the floor, in the center of the bathroom and took three calming breaths.

I used my plastered arm to grab the glass from my good one; thanking God, it was not bulking enough to impair my grip. I held my arm out in front of me and took one more breath.

The cut from Dimitri was nothing more than dried blood now. He had only made it deep enough to get a good enough taste. He had not intended to do any permanent damage. Oh well, may as well start where he left off.

I brought the tip of the piece of glass to the end of the already made cut and pushed it deeper into the skin. It hurt like a bitch, but I had dealt with worse pain than that in the last month. I did not make a sound as I reopened the cut, much deeper than it had initially been. Blood began pooling much stronger and faster than it had with Dimitri.

I smiled and moved the piece of glass up higher on my arm. I pressed down hard and broke the skin; I let it go a little deeper before finishing the cut across my arm. I flinched, but still did not make a peep.

"Pet, we're going to try…" I heard Edward's voice falter just before starting the third cut.

I imagined the look on his face as I dragged the glass across my arm. He was, no doubt, surprised that I was not lying in the bed waiting for him. I could not help a small gasp as I went a little too deep there at the end.

Edward was at the bathroom door in an instant. He rattled the handled and when it would not open, he started pounding on the door as I made a fourth cut.

"Pet, what are you doing in there?" he yelled. "And why do I smell blood?"

"Don't worry about it." I managed to call as I made a fifth cut. "Just go away!"

"No, open this door immediately!" he growled back.

"Go to hell!" I yelled as I dropped the glass and watched the five rivers of blood spill out of my arm.

The room was spinning and my vision blurred as I lay down on the floor waiting for death to take me. The blood loss took much less time to affect me than I thought it would.

The last thing I remember was the sound of the bathroom door falling off its hinges and crashing to the tile floor, before my world faded to black.

ALICE

Galen and Quinn discussed the best ways to protect me at the house, the entire way there. The explored many options and weighed the pros and cons of each I barely paid any attention to them. My mind was on things that were more important. I was pay attention when they finally decided what they were going to do, though.

Quinn would run the perimeter of the house within a fifty-yard radius and Galen would accompany me all the way to the house. That way, if there was an attack; Quinn could warn us with enough time for Galen to get Kenzi and me out, while Quinn fought off the threat.

It was a good plan; I just hated the fact that Quinn would be left alone to fight the battle while I ran away like a coward. I knew, though, how important it was that I live through the war. I had to make sure that Edward was stopped before he had a chance to hurt anymore of these girls. More importantly, I had to survive to keep my promise to Kari. I had to take care of Kenzi until she was able to take her place as big sister, once again. It was for those reasons that I said nothing to them about my disagreement with the plan.

Kate and Tanya were sitting on the sofa in the living room waiting for us, when we arrived. The hugged me and greeted Galen with a smile.

"So how is she?" I asked unable to contain my worry any longer.

"She's fine." Tanya said with an understanding smile. "Still sleeping as peacefully as she was when Jasper put her to sleep. In fact, she hasn't made a sound since you left."

"Good." I replied, relieved. "She deserves a few hours of uninterrupted sleep."

We were silent for a minute then and I took the time to focus my thoughts on the room that was a floor above us. I could hear her deep, even breathing and her steady heartbeat. Proof positive that she was in a deep and peaceful sleep still.

"So how did it go?" Kate asked after the moment of silence.

"Fine." I answered. "Every agreed with what I did at the meeting, even though we all regret what happened and what will continue to happen to Kari as a result of it. As you can see, they agreed with your crazy idea that I needed bodyguards. Quinn's out running the perimeter."

"Good." Tanya responded. "You do not need the added stress of worrying about Kenzi when you cannot be with her."

"I know." I said. "I just hate the idea of taking to skilled fighters away from the groups that need them."

"I know, sweetie." Tanya said placing a hand on my shoulder, "But you need them just as much as the others do. Your life is just as important."

I sighed, but otherwise did not respond. Tanya squeezed my shoulder, but did not press the subject further.

"You two better get going." I said after a minute. "The others were getting their groups ready when we left. I want you to get there before they leave."

"Right." Kate answered with a nod.

"Remind the others that I'll be around to check on their progress, once I've taken care of Kenzi." I replied.

"Of course." Tanya answered swooping in for a hug.

I hug her back with a small smile on my face. I was glad that I had friends that I could always count on. When Tanya released me, Kate leaned down and kissed me on the cheek.

"Everything will be fine." she whispered before the two disappeared out the door.

I did not waste any time watching the door swing shut behind them, before heading upstairs to see Kenzi. She was lying, curled up on her side, under the mounds of blankets the Denalis had bought for her days before her arrival.

She looked as sweet and peaceful as ever as she slept. Not wanting to disturb her, I slid in carefully beside her, being careful not to touch her as I did so. I knew how little sleep she had been getting lately and was not going to interrupt it, no matter how badly I felt the need to comfort her.

I looked up to see Galen had followed me. He was leaning against the doorframe with his arms across his chest. There were several emotions playing on his face as he watched me beside Kenzi. Jealousy, pain, and anger were just a few of the more predominant ones. However, underneath it all, there was something else, only I could not quite understand what it was.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

"Nothing." he replied. "Just recalling some of my better human memories."

"Oh." I replied sadly, feeling, once again, remorseful.

"Did you know that Meggie was going to be fourteen this year?" he whispered.

Meggie was Galen's youngest sister. She was only five when Edward changed him two years into the war. Nineteen year old, Galen had taken Meggie to the park while his mother and other sister, Annemarie, who was eleven at the time, set things up for the little one's birthday party. Galen was pushing her on a swing, when Edward and some of the coven—on the hunt to make our army bigger—stumbled across them.

I am still not completely sure why Edward decided that he wanted Galen, but he had his men grab both kids and dragged them off. Edward bit Galen before he could even defend Meggie. Poor Meggie was locked in a cage for the three days of her brother's transformation.

When Galen, awoke to the new life and refused to join the fight, Edward drained Meggie dry, right in front of him just to prove how serious he was about hurting Galen's loved ones. Galen agreed, after that, not wanting anything else to happen to his remaining family.

Thankfully, I was on a mission with some of the other girls, and did not have to see the horrible event. I did, however, have to look into Galen's face almost every day from then until the end of the war, knowing that my brother took away his sister.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, looking him straight in the eyes.

"Don't be." he answered. "From what you've said and the other things that I've heard about Edward's exploits over the last few years, it's better that she died then. I do not even want to imagine what life would be like for her, if he got his hands on her now. I can see the mental and physical scars on Kenzi as well as anyone. I could not imagine…."

"No…Kari….leave…alone" Kenzi's frantic voice drowned out whatever he was about to say. "Please….Edward!"

She started thrashing around on the bed. I was sure that there were tears streaming down her face as she wrestled with the blankets.

"Please…begging you!" she cried through her tears.

I was not sure what to do at that point. I thought for a moment about waking her, but that might just make the whole thing worse.

Her thrashing continued and I knew she would hurt herself, if I did not do something. I leaned over her and grabbed her wrists, pinning them to the bed above her head. She struggled against my hold.

"Let go…need…save…Kari!" she yelled and pulled at her wrists.

I let her go knowing that if I continued to hold on, she would only hurt herself in the effort to break free. I let out a sob of my own at a complete loss of what to do.

I looked up when I felt a cold hand on my shoulder.

"Let me try." Galen whispered.

I slid off the bed, not really sure what he could do to help, but willing to try anything. He did not slide into my spot. Instead, he slid in so that his back was against the wall and Kenzi's head was in his lap. She was still thrashing around, but he paid that no mind.

He gently placed the index and middle fingers on each hand to each side of her temple and began rubbing them in a circular motion. He closed his eyes as if he were concentrating hard. Almost instantly, Kenzi relaxed. Her thrashing stopped and her screams turned to murmurs. Even the tears left her eyes.

I stared completely amazed at what I was seeing. I mean, if it were not for the soft murmurs coming from her lips, I would have thought that he had put her in a coma. I slowly walked over to her and put her hand in mine.

I trusted Galen, but it was a little scary not knowing exactly what he was doing to her, especially with our history.

"What are you doing?" I whispered.

"Soothing her." he replied opening his eyes.

"But how?"

"That's right." he said sounding almost amused. "I didn't find out about this until after the war. When those of us who were unwilling left, many of us went to check on our families. You know, to make sure that Edward was serious about letting us walk away. We knew that we could not reveal ourselves to them, of course, but it was nice to know that they were all right. Anyway, I went back one night about a month after the war ended. Annemarie, who was fourteen at the time, was sleeping and having a horrid nightmare. She was crying, mumbling, and doing a lot of thrashing. I wanted to do something to comfort her, but knew it was not safe to wake her up, in case she recognized me. So I did the only thing I could think to do, I reached out and touched her. She calmed almost immediately."

"I don't understand."

"As a human, I always had a calming presence and touch. I never understood what it was about me that made me that way, but it helped many people and made me feel good about myself. Now, as a vampire, I literally have a calming touch. Unfortunately, for the effects to last I have to make continual contact with the person I'm influencing and I can't do more than one person at a time."

"So what exactly is going on in her mind right now?" I asked out of amazement and curiosity.

"I don't know." he answered looking down at Kenzi. "Everyone's different, especially the sleeping humans. They could be seeing a number of things. She's probably dreaming about happy, more comforting times at the moment."

"I see." I said and went back to watching Kenzi. She looked peaceful again and that made my heart swell. "Thank you." I told Galen.

"Don't thank me." he replied with an indifferent shrug of his shoulders. "It's all part of the bodyguard package.

"Actually, I would consider it above and beyond the call of duty." I said with a smile. "There's nothing in the rules that says you have to protect her mental health."

"That's true, but I consider it a pleasure anyway." he responded flashing me a half smile.

It was so endearing and sincere that I couldn't help but smile back.

EDWARD

I could not believe the stupid bitch? What the hell was she thinking? Did she really believe that she could get away with this? Did she believe that I would not smell the blood? And stop her from doing it altogether? Surely, she knew that I would not let her die. I would not make it that easy, especially not for someone as annoying and amusing as her. I would, of course, kill her when I got my fill of her. However, that would be for me to decide when the time came. She'd have to understand that.

I had to admit, though. The girl was pretty damn creative. In the past, I have had to deal with ill-conceived escape attempts, pleading, and bribery. None of which had worked. However, I have never; in the six years that I have been taking pets had one attempt to kill themselves just to get away from me. I was not exactly sure what to do at this point. I knew I have to make some rule adjustments, but that was all I knew.

I lay on the bed just watching her as she slept it off. I had taken her to McIntyre as soon as I got into the bathroom and found her unconscious. He had to put stitches in three of the five deep cuts on her arm. He then wrapped her entire arm in bandages and gauze to prevent infections. He also had to give her a transfusion. Thank God, we have extra humans just lying around. I grabbed the first O+ girl I could find and forced her to give Kari the blood.

The girl was now locked in her quarters, recovering from the whole thing.

Once McIntyre finished, I brought Kari back up here and changed her out of the blood soaked outfit. She was now wearing a dark blue camisole with a pair of black boxer shorts. She was going to be wearing tons of clothes like that in the future; so that I could make sure that she was not still hurting herself.

I chained her to the bedpost, by her collar, of course. I didn't want to impair the healing of her cuts or break any of the stitches. Still, she needed to be restrained in a way that would keep her from pulling something stupid like this.

I was anxiously waiting the time that she would wake up. She had been out all night and most of the day and waiting was getting extremely boring. I wanted to see her reaction when she realized that he attempt failed. I wanted to know how she would feel when I laid down the new rules that would prevent her from doing something like this again.

I sighed and flipped on the T.V., hoping to find something that would distract me from my boredom. Unfortunately, there was never anything good on at this time in the afternoon. Thankfully, I only had to flip through channels for another ten minutes, before I heard her heart rate and breathing change, indicating that she was awake.

I didn't say anything as she moaned and pushed herself up on the bed. She looked around and I could hear her heart rate accelerate as she realized that she clearly hadn't died. She groaned when she realized the chain that connected her collar to the bed wouldn't let her move too far.

I watch for about five minutes as she took inventory of herself and the damages before I said anything.

"Good morning, sunshine." I said.

I chuckled as she leaped about a foot in the air and turned to face me. Her eyes narrowed in disgust, but I could see fear around the edges. I smirked as I got closer to her face.

"So, Pet, I'm curious, what on earth were you thinking, trying to kill yourself?" I said sounding amused.

"I was thinking, I'd rather be dead, than spend the rest of my life as your little bitch." she said through gritted teeth.

"I see." I responded with a small chuckle. "But you seem to have forgotten something Pet. I. Own. You." I said directly in her face with emphasis on each word. "And that goes for every part of you. Mind, body, and soul. You don't have a say in anything that happens to you anymore. Not even death. Those choices belong to me. I decide when and how you die. You don't get that distinction. And you better get used to this life; because I highly doubt that I'm going to be prepared to kill you any time soon. You entertain me too much. Do you understand that?" She did not answer, so I slapped her hard across the cheek. She cried out and tears filled her vision. "I said, do you understand that?"

"Yes, Master." she replied in an almost dead tone.

"Good." I answered with a smirk. "Now, this is the first time something like this has ever happened. I've never had a girl try to kill herself to get away from me. That means there are some things that are going to have to change. You have just lost your bathroom privileges from now until further notice. That means the bathroom door will be locked and stay locked unless I unlock it. You will go back to using the litter and either being bathed by Jessica, or showering with me. You are no longer allowed to do it on your own. You will not be allowed to wander freely around the room, when there is no one in here to keep an eye on you. The chain on your collar stretches far enough to get you to the litter box, but I've made sure that you can't get your hands on anything else. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Master." she said, but didn't look at me. That was fine, so long as she was listening.

"You will be wearing clothes that allow me to see most of your body from now on, just so I can be sure you aren't finding alternative ways to hurt yourselves. And since you've already expressed a want to die, I'm going to do everything I can to keep you from getting that. Food depravation will no longer be used as a punishment. In fact, you will be brought three square meals a day. Meals that you will eat without complaint or face the consequences. I'll have to be more careful about how and when I punish you. I wouldn't want you to think that your behavior could get me to kill you any quicker. You got that?"

"Yes, Master." she said again and I could hear the sadness in her voice.

"You will also be punished for this little stunt. However, McIntyre wishes me to wait a week just to be sure that you're back up to full strength. It gives me time to come up with a suitable, non-life threatening punishment. Also, your mess in the bathroom will still be there in a week. You'll be expected to scrub it then and I want it to be as spotless as it was when you first got in there. Understood?"

"Yes, Master." she sighed.

"Good, now, I have a meeting to get to." I explained. "We have to discuss what we are going to do to stop Alice. I'll bring you something to eat when it's over. Until then, get some rest."

"Yes, Master."

I did not even acknowledge her answer before getting up and going to the door. Before I walked out, I programmed the lights to go off and the steel panels to come down over the windows when I shut the door.