AN: Happy Thursday folks! Just a little good news for the day... this story was accepted on this afternoon..I'm so psyched! WOOT! Enjoy!


Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Twilight...SM owns it all!


Pleasant Dinner Discomforts & BUSTED!!

EPOV

Bella, my mother, and I arrived at Esme and Carlisle's house shortly before seven. Bella and I were still chuckling quietly to ourselves over my parting comment as we left the house. Her face was priceless as I smirked at her.

I knew she was thinking that I didn't mean anything sexual by my comment, and I mostly didn't, but I can't deny the part of me that was in fact anxious for that moment that we would share together. I know that we're not ready for it just yet, but hopefully we will be in the near future. I only say that because if I keep experiencing the amount of desire for her that I do while we kiss, I'm bound to explode at some point.

She really has no idea how she affects me. Everything about her draws me into her. The way her hips sway when she walks, the way her hair cascades over her shoulders when she wears it down, the way her eyes express everything that she's feeling at the moment, the way she smiles, the way her plump pink lips push themselves out when she pouts, the silky smooth texture of her skin....

GAH!!! STOP YOU MORON! Are you nuts?! Both of your parents are sitting in the room! I chastised myself as I let my thoughts run away while sitting at the table.

Bella tapped me on the arm and I turned toward her.

'Are you okay?' she signed quickly with a worried expression. I laughed on the inside as I responded.

"I'm fine, love," I replied with a smile.

'Aren't you going to eat? Your plate has been sitting there for ten minutes.' she replied with a confused look. I looked down to my plate and tried to hide my embarrassment...she caught it though. She tapped me on the leg and I looked back at her, pleading her with my expression to not do anything to call me on it.

'What were you thinking about?' she signed with a smirk. I shook my head in disbelief. She was calling me on it.

"You, love. Always you," I replied innocently. She smirked again and I briefly contemplated how successful my attempt would be if I ran from the table at that very moment.

'Me? What ever could you be thinking about that has to do with me?' she signed with an innocent face...too innocent for the topic she was skirting around.

I looked around us, and noticed that our parents were involved in a conversation, and none of them were paying any attention to us. I leaned over to her and whispered in her ear.

"Bella, please not at the dinner table. It's embarrassing enough that you caught me fantasizing, please don't call their attention to it as well," I pleaded with her before sitting back upright in my seat. I chanced a glimpse at her as I raised my fork and saw that she was blushing. She looked around us, and noticing that our parents were still oblivious to us, she signed to me.

'It's okay, Edward. I've thought about it numerous times as well.' she signed quickly. My jaw dropped as she signed it out and she blushed even darker and tried to hide behind a veil of her hair.

"Have you really?" I asked her incredulously. She blushed even darker still as she nodded her head. I smirked and leaned across to her once more.

"Love, I swear you'll be the death of me some day. Do you have any idea what knowing that you think about that does to me?" I whispered to her, my whisper suddenly slightly huskier than usual.

She chuckled silently and shook her head as I sat back upright in my seat and picked up my fork once again. I looked around the table, comforted to see that our exchanges had still gone unnoticed.

I was just about to bring the fork to my mouth to take my first bite when she slid her hand up my thigh and quickly grazed my....nether regions to be polite. The fork fell from my hand as my eyes closed from the pleasure of it.

I briefly wondered if she felt the jolt that her brief touch caused before the sound of the fork hitting the plate made my eyes shoot back open and dart around the table. Everyone was looking at me with a confused expression, but Bella was laughing silently behind her hair, her shaking shoulders giving her away.

"Sorry...muscle spasm," I muttered quickly as I blushed furiously. They all quirked an eyebrow at me before they went back to their conversation. As soon as I was clear, my head shot in Bella's direction. She snorted quietly and mouthed a silent 'sorry' to me. I gave her an incredulous look, and she quickly looked around before signing to me.

'Sorry...I was just checking.' she signed as she blushed. I leaned across to her and whispered in her ear.

"Checking for what exactly, Bella?" I asked with a smirk on my face. I pulled back quickly and looked at her. She looked around once more before signing to me.

'Checking for the affect of that knowledge on you.' she signed quickly as she blushed. I leaned back over and whispered to her once again.

"Did you find what you were looking for, love?" I asked smugly as I realized that her blush gave away that she did indeed feel the affect that she had on me. She blushed again as she covered her mouth and giggled silently.

I leaned back and picked my fork up once more, ready to finally eat the meal that had been sitting in front of me for the better part of a half hour now. I chanced a quick look at Bella, trying to judge if she was going to pull another fast one on me so I could better brace myself for it, but she was still giggling away as she held her hand over her mouth.

I finally managed to get the first forkful of food in my mouth and I watched her as I chewed it. She had managed to calm herself and she was just picking her fork back up. I watched intently as she drew the fork closer to her mouth, unable to tear my gaze away.

I just about lost all of my control to not tackle her right there, as her lips enclosed around the fork. Either I was somehow watching this in slow motion, or she was purposely exaggerating the motion of pulling that damn fork away from those beautifully pink and luscious lips of hers.

Shit...I'm definitely going to explode...and possibly burn in hell for thinking of her this way at the dinner table..

She smirked as she loaded another bite of mashed potatoes onto her fork. Ever so slowly she flipped the fork and brought it to her mouth, and proceeded to make a show of once again pulling the fork from her mouth.

I almost fell out of my chair at the sight of it. For someone as innocent as she was, she sure as hell knew how to bring me to my knees. She smiled smugly at me as she put her fork down and I smirked at her.

She looked at me with a confused expression. I quickly reached across the distance between us and grabbed her hand. She looked at me with a shocked expression when I placed it right on top of the now completely engorged product of her silent and sinfully teasing illustrations. I smiled smugly at her and picked my fork back up as I chuckled.

She slowly pulled her hand back and I had to force down the groan that was attempting to escape me in response to the sensation of it. I looked back at her as my eyes opened and she smiled smugly at me once more.

Just you wait, love. We'll see who's smiling smugly when we no longer have a possible audience... I thought to myself as I quirked an eyebrow at her and smirked. She laughed silently and held her hands up in mock surrender. I shook my head and leaned toward her once more.

"It's too late for surrender, love. That last move did you in," I said quietly, my voice deepened suddenly by my overwhelming desire for her.

I leaned back in my chair and smiled smugly at her. She blushed and looked down to her plate as she snorted, her hand quickly flying up to cover her mouth. I chuckled as I turned toward my plate and thrust a forkful of food in my mouth. I tilted my head slightly toward her and saw that she was watching me through the curtain of her hair so I winked at her and smiled smugly once more as I took another forkful of food.

"Are we going to have to separate you two tonight?" my mother chuckled. My eyes shot straight toward her as my fork stopped right in front of my gaping mouth. They all broke out into laughter as my mouth suddenly went bone dry and closed itself. I looked around the table and saw that everyone, including Bella, was laughing hysterically at my shocked expression.

"Really, Edward. Please try and be at least a little discreet at the table, son," my father choked out through his laughter. My face felt like it was on fire as I looked toward Esme and Carlisle expecting them to be furious with me, but they were laughing just as hard as everyone else.

As I stared at them incredulously, I saw Bella start to tip over as she held her stomach with one arm and continued to cover her mouth as she laughed. My hand shot out and grabbed Bella's arm, pulling her back onto her seat as she almost toppled off of it with her laughter. She looked at my still shocked face and mouthed a silent 'sorry' to me right before she snorted once more and went into another fit of laughter.

They're all insane! Did they just all witness that whole event and now they're laughing about it? How is it possible that Carlisle isn't waving a shotgun in my face and warning me to keep my wandering hands and thoughts to myself?!

"Edward, son. It's alright. We've all been through it at one point or another. There's nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of, but please...do try to tone it down a bit when there are people around. We all realize that at some point the two of you will be comfortable enough with each other to share that experience, but isn't it a bit early yet in your relationship for that?" Carlisle spoke with a comforting tone but he wore a serious expression. My mouth fell open and I found myself impossibly unable to respond to his question.

Bella's flailing arms and suddenly horrified face suddenly caught my attention and I tore my stupefied gaze away from Carlisle to look at her. She was signing so quickly I almost couldn't catch most of it. It took me a minute but I finally pieced it together.

'NO, NO, NO! Please! We don't need to have this conversation! We aren't doing anything like that, and we honestly aren't ready for it yet. Please don't start "the talk". Please.' she signed desperately with a pleading face.

Carlisle looked at her carefully, as did Esme. She shot her nervous glance to me and I smiled smugly at her.

"You started it, love," I chuckled and her mouth fell open as she stared at me in shock. She quickly turned back to Carlisle who was covering his mouth as he leaned back in his chair and chuckled. My poor parents just watching everything, more confused than ever at the moment.

"She was pleading with Carlisle to not give us "the talk"," I said to them with amusement in my tone.

They chuckled quietly and looked over to Carlisle. Esme snorted and covered her mouth quickly as she waved her hand in front of her, as if telling us to just dismiss her and her laughter. I laughed at the sight of everyone before me, as well as at the situation that Bella and I now found ourselves in.

"Bella, I really do think it's time to have that talk, honey," Carlisle said with a semi-serious tone. Her head flopped down and shook from side to side as she awaited the now inevitable beginning of our birds and bees talk.

Who would have ever thought that a family dinner would ever lead to this?!

I tried to control my laughter, and was able to stifle it down to just quiet chuckles as I waited for Carlisle to continue. My father wrapped his arm around my mother and grinned as he leaned back to watch the event progress in front of him.

Poor Esme was still beside herself with her laughter, my own mother right along side of her gripping her hand tightly as she too tried to control herself. Carlisle started to speak, and I immediately turned my attention to him. The least I could do was listen quietly and intently while he spoke as an attempt to redeem myself for what had taken place at his table.

"Now, I know that both of you..." he started but he had to stop as he chuckled. His head dropped down as he covered his face with one of his hands. A moment later he had composed himself and he tried to start again.

"Sorry... Now, I know that both of you are aware of where babies come from, and..." he stopped again as he tried to stifle another chuckle but failed horribly. I had to stifle my own as Bella covered her mortified face and shook her head. I tried my best to keep my chuckling down to a minimum, but the longer I fought, the harder it got.

I looked toward my mother and Esme, who both had tears streaming down their bright red faces, and my father was leaning forward, shielding his forehead with his hand as his elbow rested on the table surface. The sight of all of them broke me and I guffawed loudly, the sound of my laughter echoing off of the walls in the room. Carlisle shook his head as he looked to the ceiling and continued to chuckle.

"Good Lord, I'm a doctor! I should be able to get through this without laughing!" he cried out toward the heavens above. It only served to make all of us laugh even harder. Even Bella had started to find the humor in it and was chuckling as she continued to hide her face in her hands.

When we had all sobered up some, Carlisle braced himself to start again. The look on his face told me he was going to try and speed his way through it, because he was unsure he would be able to finish without laughing yet again. He shook his head and started speaking once again.

"Okay, I'm just going to hit the high points, because I can't seem to be able to control myself enough to make it through the speech. Please wait until you are both ready. Please protect yourselves and each other, as I'm sure neither of you is ready to start a family at any time soon. And please, please, don't ever let any of us catch you in the act. For both of your mother's sakes... we are aware that it's unlikely, but please wait until you get married to consummate your relationship," he said quickly and managed to only allow just a minimal amount of amusement to leak through his serious tone. The moment it was out we all burst into another round of laughter.

"Carlisle!....That was pathetic!" Esme chirped through her laughter. He shot her an incredulous glance as he responded.

"I'd like to see you try and do better, dearest Esme," he retorted with a sarcastic tone.

"I....I couldn't!" she wheezed out as she laughed. She picked up her napkin and started waving it in front of her flaming red face as she gasped for air.

"Oh my!... I hadn't.... ever expected this... discussion to go this way," she croaked in between sniffles and chuckles.

We had all started to settle down, and I was sure that the neighbors were thankful for that at that point. This dinner table could probably have been heard all the way in Port Angeles for Christ's sake!

"Carlisle, I don't think we could have done any better. Thank you for taking the reins on this one," my father said with a grateful tone after he took a few deep breaths and composed himself. Carlisle chuckled as he nodded to him.

Holy Hell!! They planned this all along! Family night my ass! This was a setup!

My gaze shifted between every person sitting around the table, and it was written all over every one of their faces...with the exception of Bella. I couldn't believe it! They had lured us in hook, line and sinker!

Bella turned and looked at me in confusion. I was beginning to wonder if she caught the admission in my father's statement as well. I looked to her and quickly mimicked my mother's conspiratorial smile and she gasped, her hand flying over her mouth as she looked at me in shock. I nodded to her as I rolled my eyes and she shook her head as she leaned back against her chair.

I stifled a chuckle as I thought of how gullible we had been all night long. They had been luring us in to feeling falsely secure in our interactions while they had been watching closely the entire time, just waiting for their moment to strike. I had to hand it to them...they were good....real good.

"Not the most eloquent version of that speech that I've ever given, but please heed the advice in it just the same," Carlisle pleaded with us after a period of silence had fallen over the table.

"Points taken, Carlisle, but I assure you that Bella was telling you the truth. We aren't ready for that step yet," I said sincerely.

"We're aware of that, dear, but we are also aware that when you love someone the way the two of you do, it can be difficult to control your desires for one another. We aren't condemning either of you for anything, as none of us would really have any room to judge," Esme said as she chuckled, "We just need to make sure that both of you aware of the possible consequences of your decisions in the future," she finished with a comforting and sincere tone.

"I assure you, Esme, when and if we ever come to that bridge, we will do so with the utmost of caution," I replied sincerely. She smiled and nodded at me. I quickly looked to my parents.

"Do either of you have anything to add to this? You might as well join in the humiliation party that's concentrated on our corner," I chuckled.

"Edward, son. I trust both of you to make the right decisions when that time comes, but I do agree with Carlisle. Protect yourselves and for the love of all that's holy in this world don't ever let us catch you. It's not the easiest situation to walk away from unscathed...just ask your mother," he chortled. She gasped and smacked his arm as she looked at him in shock.

"Ed! I can't believe you!" she screeched. He laughed even harder.

"Oh my! Liz, I forgot all about that!" Esme chirped from beside her.

Bella, Carlisle and I all looked at them with confused faces as they laughed away. Finally my father shot an apologetic grimace toward my mother and turned toward the three of us.

"When we were in college, we had gone to her parent's house for Christmas break. I thought her parents were sleeping soundly so I slipped into her room. It just so happened that her mother wanted to ask her something and when she walked into her room she caught us in a very compromising situation. It took me two years to win back her acceptance of me after that, and holiday visits after that moment were strictly supervised," he said as he shook his head. Bella and I looked at them incredulously.

"Every holiday that we went there during that first year after that, her parents had me sleep over at the neighbor's house. So while they were guarding your mother's door all night long, I was sleeping in a room that reeked of moth balls in Old Lady Parson's house. She was a nice lady, but good lord was she ever chatty. Every night she told me the same exact story of how she grew up on a farm and married a dashing young lad that lived down the road from her," he chuckled as he recalled her nightly tale of her youth.

Bella and I burst into laughter at his confession as well as the mortified look on my mother's face. Esme was laughing hysterically and snorting beside my mother as she slapped her hand against the table. Carlisle was stomping his foot under the table as he laughed heartily.

"Esme, dear. You and Carlisle have nothing to be laughing about," my mother chided. Bella's laughter quickly ceased as she stared at Esme in shock. Esme quickly sobered and shot my mother a pleading look to which my mother smirked.

"Liz, don't! Please," she begged.

"Oh boy, here we go..." Carlisle said as he leaned back in his seat.

"Do all of you have a closet full of skeletons hidden somewhere that neither of us have ever noticed?" I asked incredulously as I glanced between all of them.

"Sweetheart, we all grew up in the seventies...things were much different back then," Esme said uncomfortably. I shook my head as I chuckled and leaned back in my chair. I looked to my mother, waiting for her to continue. She looked to Esme, who once again shot her a panicked look.

"Liz, please...I'm begging you, don't do this..." she pleaded with my mother.

I looked to Bella and gave her a confused expression. I couldn't figure out what could be so bad that she didn't want it to be brought up. Carlisle just seemed amused by the whole thing. Bella looked back at me and shrugged her shoulders, her expression just as confused as mine.

"Oh, Esme, dear. Really...it isn't that bad," Carlisle said to her as he reached out for her hand. She pulled her hand away from him and shot him an incredulous look.

"Carlisle...how can you say that? Lizzie and Ed's encounter was a walk in the park compared to what we went through!" she cried out. Bella quickly looked at me and raised her eyebrows. I chuckled and turned my attention back toward the two of them, now seriously intrigued by what they could have done.

"Esme, sweetheart. They're never going to let it go now that the cat's out of the bag. Just tell them, hopefully they won't repeat our mistakes," Carlisle said in an encouraging tone.

She sighed and looked at us, pleading with her expression for us to leave it alone. I looked to Bella who was bouncing in her seat. She looked at me and smiled widely before signing to them.

'Spill it.' she signed as she bounced in her seat.

"Carlisle...I can't. You're going to have to do it. It was your fault anyway, it's time to harvest those seeds you sowed so very long ago, dear," she said as she shook her head and rested her elbows on the table and covered her face with one of her hands.

"It wasn't only my fault, Esme dear. I didn't get into that predicament on my own, sweetheart," he replied sarcastically. She shot him a furious glance and he held up his hands in surrender immediately. I chuckled quietly in response.

"Alright, alright. I'm going," he said as he waved his hands in front of himself. He shook his head and turned toward us, and both Bella and I gave him our undivided attention.

"Esme and I dated my senior year of high school, and the following year I went away to college. I came home after being away for almost eight months. I didn't get a chance to come home for Christmas break that year because I had to work extra to pay for my tuition, and by the time I finally got the chance to come home, Esme and I found ourselves in a very awkward situation. Because I hadn't been home in so long, everyone was crowded around us constantly, and we quickly found ourselves unable to get even just a minute alone together," he started out with a sincere tone.

"So one night, I drove over to her house and insisted on bringing her out on a date. I drove us up into the mountains in Alaska where we lived at the time, and we parked at a spot that was a relatively common place for couples to frequent for some...personal time," he grimaced as Esme shot him a look and forced him to choose his words wisely. She went back to hiding her face and he continued.

"We ended up getting caught in the act by a patrol officer, who arrested us both for indecent exposure. Our parents had to bail us out of jail, and they were absolutely furious with us. We were let off the hook with a slap on the wrist and a fine, but we spent the rest of my school vacation being lectured over our actions from that night. They gave us hell for three years after that night, straight up to the very night that I proposed to her. That was what finally broke them. I guess it was then that they realized that it didn't matter how unhappy they were with us, we were happy with each other, and nothing they could ever do would keep us apart," he said as he smiled lovingly at Esme. She gazed back at him with complete adoration in her eyes and a warm smile on her lips.

"Bella, Edward. Everyone makes mistakes...as you've heard tonight. The point we're trying to make to you is that sometimes it's difficult to see the consequences of your decisions until after they're staring you in the face, and it's too late to change your actions. Please don't be as foolish with your actions as we all were," Esme said pleadingly.

Bella and I nodded to her, both of us still stunned by their story. Honestly, I never would have pinned them as the type to have ever found themselves in that situation to start with, my parents either for that matter. They were all always so prim and proper all the time. I had always assumed that they had waited til they were married before having sex.

That was something Bella and I definitely needed to discuss at length in the very near future. I had, for quite some time now, always felt that I wanted to wait until I was married before sharing that experience with someone, as I wanted to make sure that I loved that person enough to be with them in that way. The only problem with that theory now...Bella is the only person I can even picture myself experiencing that with.

The rest of dinner went by with extremely mundane conversation. I think we were all trying to veer away from anything having to do with sex talks or embarrassing stories. I helped Bella clean up after dinner as our parents settled into the living room to watch a movie marathon tonight. My curiosity was eating me alive and I decided that there was no opportunity better than the present to discuss our opinions on the matter at hand.

"Bella?" I asked quietly. She turned and smiled at me, waiting for me to continue.

"Do you want to wait until we're married before we cross that line in our relationship?" I asked her sincerely. She looked at me with wide eyes, and I waited patiently for her to compose herself. When she didn't after a series of minutes I furrowed my brow in confusion.

"Bella, love. Are you alright?" I asked with concern. Her expression became nervous and confused as she stared at me.

'You think about us getting married?' she signed nervously as she bit her lip.

"Honestly, yes. I've thought of it from time to time, and I know that one day I will ask you to marry me, as you're the only person I could ever imagine wanting to marry," I replied sincerely. She looked at me with a stunned expression and it brought a smile to my face. She composed herself quickly and signed to me once again.

'I'm not sure if I want to wait or not. I used to think so, but I'm not so sure any more.' she signed with a thoughtful expression.

"What makes you unsure?" I asked curiously.

'I used to think that it was the only way to be sure that I loved the person enough, and that I wasn't making a mistake in being with them that way. I'm not sure anymore because I know that I love you, and I know that you love me. I don't think it could ever be a mistake between us, so it makes me unsure as to whether I want to wait or not.' she replied quickly. I didn't miss the slight blush that rose to her cheeks as she thought through her response either.

"I feel the same way, love. I'm sure we'll figure it out together and come to a decision that's right for both of us," I said comfortingly.

She let out a breath of relief and I bent down to give her a chaste kiss. She smiled at me and we finished cleaning up the kitchen before heading into the living room to join our parents.

"Bella, Edward? Why don't you two get ready for bed before we start the movies. We don't want to have to wake either of you if you fall asleep during them," Esme said warmly.

Bella nodded and padded her way up the stairs. I grabbed my bag from the bottom step and headed toward the downstairs bathroom. I wasn't about to give them a single reason to question my actions after tonight.

I returned only minutes later, and settled onto one of the mattresses on the floor and waited for Bella to come join me. It wasn't long after that I heard her approaching footsteps as they descended the staircase. She crawled over me and slid under the blanket that I held back for her. She immediately turned toward me and smiled. I kissed her beautiful lips and gazed into her sleepy eyes. She yawned almost immediately and I smiled.

"Go to sleep, Bella. I love you," I whispered to her as I gently pushed the hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear.

She smiled and nodded as she snuggled up against me. I shifted onto my back and she tossed her arm across my chest and wrapped her leg around me as she rested her head on my chest. Within moments her breathing evened out and I chuckled at how quickly she was out cold.

"I'll never get over how well she sleeps around you, Edward," Esme said quietly from behind me on the couch.

"Me either, Esme," I replied sincerely as Bella started to snore lightly. I heard a round of hushed snickers from behind me and I tried not to jostle her with my own silent chuckle as I ran my fingers through her hair gently.

"Sweet dreams, love," I whispered to her before I kissed the top of her head.

I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep myself. I hadn't slept very well over the last six months either, and I was eager to get a peaceful night's sleep. I was just about to succumb to slumber when a round of highly amused "Goodnight Edward's" resounded from behind me.

I tried to reply in kind, but I'm fairly certain it was incredibly slurred. I passed my fingers gently through Bella's hair once more before I rested my arm across her back, keeping her close to me.

Sleep well my sweet angel...


AN: Alright people..leave me some love! Please? Pretty please? LOL Reviews are better than being busted by your parents at the dinner table for being frisky! R&R PLS & TY!

I received a question in a review, but I couldn't respond to it because the person wasn't logged in for the review. The question was in regards to Liz's knowledge of Bella's past. She doesn't know much aside from the fact that her parents died tragically and Bella was hurt in the same event but somehow managed to survive it. Hope that answers your question^_^ If any of you ever have questions..feel free to hop on over to the forum thread and post it there. I'll answer it as soon as I can. Thanks for reading!