A VERY LOVED UP CHAPTER. NO SEX, DON'T WORRY, JUST A LOT OF... LOVE. URGHHHHH ;)
Silvanus stood outside the sanctuary, eyes downcast, lips twisted into a fake smile. How could he smile, after all, when he was leaving, possibly for good? He hated the Dawnstar Sanctuary. It stank, to him, of corruption and it was haunted by the ghosts of the past... No, he couldn't stay there. Later that day, Delvin Mallory's men would come in, and fix it all up, turning it into a "home". It would never be his home. All of the surviving Dark Brotherhood members stood in front of him, some smiling, some looking sombre. But he could tell most of their expressions were fake. Bitterly, he patted Shadowmere's mane, and scanned through the initiates with his eyes. The initiates, who he had found out to be called Valenta (the Khajiit), Sero (the strange looking young woman with the blind eye), Sigrid (the Nord woman), and Artorius Sangre (the Imperial) were looking very fake; at least the others had vaguely known him, aside from Mortas. The only ones he cared about were Scarlett and Babette. Those two were the only ones who had real emotion on their young faces.
He'd organised them into a vague hierarchy: Scarlett was the Mistress and Speaker of the Sanctuary, and was entirely in charge; Nazir would serve as her second in command, and would keep all of the initiates in check if she couldn't be bothered; Xindal would be Keeper, and look after the Night Mother's coffin; Babette was in charge of recruiting. He would write to Scarlett regularly, when he heard the Night Mother's voice, and would return if he couldn't find Lukos... And he was planning a very thorough search... Of the whole of Tamriel. He knew that, rationally, baby Lukos would only be in Skyrim, but who knew? Perhaps the Penitus Oculatus had taken him to Cyrodiil or, worse, killed him... But he would search for him. His fatherly instinct knew that he couldn't lose his son, even though he'd already lost his Astrid.
"So, Mr Coppercroft," Nazir stepped forwards, a grin on his rough face. Silvanus smiled wearily back, and extended his hand to shake. They shook quickly, and the old Redguard clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Good luck, kid. We'll always be here." The Breton smiled, nodded, and went to shake hands with both Xindal and Mortas, who were glaring daggers at each other. Vaguely, he pitied Scarlett: these two would be fighting over her until the day she died, by the looks of things. He'd have to ask Babette to keep him up to date... All of those he'd said goodbye to went back inside, leaving the Black Door open. Apparently, none of them were interested in a particularly emotional farewell.
He bade the initiates farewell with a gruff wave of the hand, and a friendly exchange with the Khajiit Valenta (who was extremely motherly and extremely friendly), affectionately poked Lis, made himself stroke VeezaraTheCat, until theere were only three of them left.
Him, Babette, and Scarlett. Silvanus knew he would have the most difficulty saying farewell to those two.
The two girls stood side by side: Scarlett now significantly taller, her long, curly blonde hair falling in her face, green eyes watching him carefully; Babette significantly shorter, her neat brown bob barely meeting her shoulders... He couldn't really see into those empty, red eyes. Ah, well. Knowing Babette, she'd only be thinking about how nice his blood must taste. They stood for a second, a salty breeze blowing in their faces, blowing their hair around in the wind. They just looked at each other. There was nothing really, at that moment, any of them could say, for the fear of tears or some other display of weakness. It was Babette, in the end, who broke the silence.
"Well," she said with a shaky laugh. "This is it, then." "Yeah. This is it." now, the two vampires looked at each other, deep crimson eyes on electric blue. Babette had been Silvanus' oldest friend, they'd got along even before he'd plucked up the nerves to talk to Veezara or Scarlett, and although their relationship had occasionally been tainted by the crush the older vampire had on him, they'd always rubbed along well. In fact, recently, she'd become almost motherly to him: always wanting to keep him safe, always taking care of him when he had nightmares or something... But it was mutual. He'd held her through nightmare filled nights, complimented her whenever Scarlett brushed her hair into a new style, taken her out into Dawnstar or Falkreath... They truly were like literal brother and sister, protective, and simple. At first, it'd been more complicated, but... Now, it was better. Comfortable. Sweet. "I'll miss you, Sil." Babette tried her hardest to keep her voice straight. Tears were glassing over her eyes, from the thought that she may never see this lanky youth again, but she was determined to stay calm and keep her composure. Silvanus was, so why should she so her own weakness? But her voice betrayed her.
"I'll miss you too, Bet. You take care of everyone for me, and no letting Scarlett die of her wounds. We know she gets hurt a lot." they both cast amused glances at Scarlett, who mock glared at both of them, clicking her tongue. "And no letting her get too many boyfriends while I'm gone. Maximum of fifty. Any more, and I think we'll have to lock her in her room until we can get her an arranged marriage with some gross old man." all three of them chuckled, and the Nord girl pretended to be sick on the sand. Sticking her tongue out at the both of them, she grinned,
"Bump it up to one hundred and we're square. I don't think I can limit myself to fifty." they all laughed again, and Silvanus reached forwards to affectionately ruffle her hair. She batted him off, and pulled a face. Chuckling, Silvanus turned back to Babette. "See you soon, sister. See you soon." he leaned down to kiss her forehead, and pulled her into a one armed hug. They embraced for a few moments, standing together on the sand, before the youth backed away. They smiled at each other for one last time, before Babette looked from the Breton to Scarlett and back before raising her eyebrows, bowing her head teasingly, and walking away. "Go with Sithis, brother." she said, as she walked through the Black Door, and shut it behind her for good measure.
Leaving Silvanus and Scarlett outside on the sand together, alone.
The tension was unbelieveable. Eveything was silent, apart from the sound of the waves splashing on the shore, near them, and the sound of Shadowmere's light breathing. Eventually, Silvanus stepped forwards to hug her, to end the silence, but she backed away, holding up her hands. The look on her face was mixed, almost unreadable.
"Don't get emotional just because you're leaving. It's your bloody choice." her voice sounded angry, almost accusing. Their eyes met but, furiously, she looked away, turning her back from him. She said her next few words slowly, and quietly. "I know I can't make you stay, but..." then, suddenly, she turned around, and walked towards him. There was a fire burning in her heart, and she wanted him to feel her rage, her anger! How dare he stand there, so oblivious, when she'd made it damn obvious! Breathing hard, she stopped only inches away from him, looking up into his cool, deadpan pale face. "Where's your heart?" she spat at him. It was strange; he was leaving, and she should be miserable, but all she felt was rage at him. Why was he leaving everything behind, just because he was so "in love" with her mother? The love he had for Astrid only made Scarlett resent her own mother even more, even resent the little newborn that was her younger half-brother... Silvanus frowned at her, a crease appearing between his eyebrows.
"What do you..."
"There's nothing I can say, is there?" Scarlett continued. Her voice had turned spiteful, now, and she looked at him with hurt in her heavily lidded green eyes. "Nothing I can say to change your mind?"
He froze. What did she mean? The rage and passion in her eyes was strange, he hadn't expected it, but... What was she talking about? Silvanus knew, in his heart of hearts, that he was na ve, in some respects, but she seemed more angry than loving. Was this how girls her age showed this sort of thing? If Astrid was angry at him she'd just hit him; much easier to work out. A heart-felt speech that sounded like code to his male ears? He didn't understand.
"Gods, you're na ve! You just don't understand, do you, Coppercroft? Any of this?" her tone was wild, now, as she paced up and down, hands fisted in her blonde hair. Silvanus shrugged, desperately. He wanted to keep his cold attitude, but it was impossible. Sithis, she was hard to understand! One second she was falling hard and fast for Xindal, the next second she was flirting with wild abandon with Mortas; Gods, she flirted with any man she could find. What did she mean by all this?
"Scarlett, you aren't making any sense." his voice was annoyingly calm. The Nord girl almost screamed out with frustration, as she stopped, in front of him. Arms crossed, she glared at him, eyes narrowed, lips curved up in a menacing smile. She was beautiful, but her beauty was dangerous, like a poisonous flower.
"Just tell me this, Silvanus Coppercroft," her voice was laced with sarcasm, now. "Have you ever considered what good leaving will do? Maybe you'll find Lukos, maybe you won't. And then, if you don't, killing yourself? What good will that do? I miss my mother, hell, I miss her just as much as you do, if not more, but at least I can take that she's dead. I want her back, I'd do anything to get her back, but I'm not selfish or stupid enough to kill myself to be with her! We'll be like we were before! We won't have a Listener and, knowing me, I'll ditch the tenets and fuck up the Brotherhood. And who'll be able to stop me? NO ONE!" she was furious, now, almost shouting into his face. "You won't stop me, because you'll be DEAD! Astrid won't stop me, because SHE IS DEAD! NOBODY WILL!"
Eventually, she finished and, breathing hard, just glared at him. Her eyes, as green as poison, stared into his own, searching through his very soul. Silvanus' heart was beating fast, and he was unwilling to look away. He clenched and unclenched his fists, and then, he, too, narrowed his eyes.
"You can't love her as much as me, because otherwise you'd be doing exactly the same as I am." his voice was cruel, and he knew, as he spoke, he sounded heartless. But the words kept coming, and he could practically see his tongue lashing her as he spoke. "I don't care about the fucking Dark Brotherhood anymore- as far as I'm concerned, I'd rather burn in hell than waste my time worshipping a god damn corpse. I'm searching for my son for myself, I don't care what you or anyone else says! And what do you mean, nobody will stop you? Try and stop yourself! I can't do everything; I don't want to be the Listener! You're ten times the person I am: you're brave, beautiful, strong, talented, and as damn ruthless as Sithis himself. I may be Listener, but who cares? You're the better person, you're the better assassin..." his voice went down a notch from the shout it had been before. It was little more than a bitter whisper now, as they glared at each other, eyes passionate and enraged. "I'm a bloody husk, an empty shell, now that they're gone. I. Have. Nothing. Do you understand that, Scarlett? I have nothing, I am nothing, and I'm dead. I should be dead. Not Astrid, who died for Lukos, not Veezara, Gabriella, Festus, Andromeda, any of them. I'm the selfish one, I'm the one who's never done a thing. And now, I'm doing what's right for once. You and I must fight for our lives, you and I must fight to survive... No. It was you and me against the world, Scarlett. But now, I have to face up to the consequences..."
Scarlett's look softened. Gently, Silvanus brought one hand up to her cheek, and stroked it softly, like a lover. All anger was gone, now, as they stared into each other's eyes. For a few moments, they just stared at each other.
Then, Scarlett shut her eyes, and leaned forwards. Slowly, their lips met, as, almost unknowingly, Silvanus leaned forwards too. Fireworks seemed to explode in both of their heads, as they kissed softly... Then, after about ten seconds, they broke apart. Hearts both thudding. Silvanus was looknig at the ground, unwilling to recognise that he had just done that. He loved Astrid... how could he have just kissed her daughter. He felt a hand under his chin and, with it's help, looked up into her eyes. A sad smile was on her face, as she looked at him.
"I know you'll never love me like you love her. I just needed to do that before you go, in case I never see you again. Something to see you about. I love you." and with that, with one last look, she walked away, leaving him out on the sand, staring numbly after her.
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"You know, I thought that was one damn good fight you had with Mortas." Xindal sat alone, moodily, in front of the fireplace. He was still stung from the way that Silvanus had barely bid him farewell: he'd rather liked the Breton, despite he knew the feeling was not mutual. Watching the flames dance in front of him, he turned his eyes lazily to watch Sero, one of the new initiates, lean on the wall in front of him. He'd expected a mocking smile on her face, like the way Astrid or Scarlett would have said it, but instead he saw a proper, genuine look on her face. She wasn't fantastically pretty, the milky white eye with the jagged scar running through it rather ruined it for him. However, somehow, she was rather attractive. In a strange way. "Babette told me that you used to be the nice type who licked everybody's boots." her voice was little more than a hiss, now, as she looked at him appraisingly. "I guess you've grown as a person with all this shit going on, then?"
"What's it to you?" his voice was hoarse. He HATED Mortas. It wasn't even because of Scarlett anymore: the bastard had come in, got him into trouble, infuriated him, and just... well... BEEN there. Just having the stupid, skinny teen around got on his nerves. Why did he call Xindal the "golden boy", when he barely ever got a chance to shine? And even when he did, Mortas was always around to ruin it... There was no way he wanted to discuss it with this new bitch who he hardly knew. "I don't know you, and I'm not in the mood for making friends. Alright?"
"Mmm... Aggressive. That's the real you though, isn't it, Xindal?" when he looked up, the demon saw that Sero was uncomfortably close to him. Practically in his lap, in fact. Although there was nothing sexual about this woman; she reminded him more of a spider than anything, really. "A demon in the Void? Scarlett made you into her little lapdog. She's rather impressive. I respect her, for that reason... She can twist men around her finger. Shame. You're quite the demon, aren't you?"
"What the fuck are you talking about?" he wasn't even in the mood to be civil. The words he spoke were harsh, short, and nasty. "I don't want to talk to you, sister." the last word he spoke was mocking, rather than anything else. The spider/woman had backed off now, and walked over towards the flames, her back to him. Then, after a few moments, she turned her head back to look at him, and an evil smile graced her lips.
"She's hurt you, hasn't she? Broken your spirit. Broken you as a person, because you don't like blood and killing as much as she does... You've got a heart. So she calls you pathetic." her words were getting faster now, her eyes flickering up and down his body. She had too many teeth in her smile, and she looked almost like she was going to eat him. It was strange, they had barely shared three words before, but now... Getting up, Xindal swiftly went over to her, and looked her in the eyes. The gleam in his dark eyes was endearing, readying to fight. What was she talking about? What was going on with this dark, crazy woman? "Broken you..." she continued, the smile on her black lips not including her eyes. "You're dead Xindal. Wanna know why I'm talking to you? Because I'm dead, too. A demon, I think. I can't die. So many times I've tried... I can't talk to Mortas. But you..." she ran a hand sensually up his arm. "You're different. Different to the others, I can tell. I can see it in those eyes... Look at me!"
He tried to duck away, fear filling him, but her strong hands grabbed his chin, and forced him to look into her white, blind, dead eye. He wanted to retch, and ducked away, gripping the wall, as terror flooded through him. She looked at him for a second, then laughed slowly, richly. Walking away, she looked over her shoulder at him, and indulged him with another, horrible grin. "So long, Xindal. Think about me, sweetheart."
The demon was still for a moment, while she walked out of the room. Then, turning his head, he saw the sandy haired Imperial man known as Sangre walking into the room. Sangre paused for a second, and the side of the room, mouth open wide. Then, he shrugged, and glanced at Xindal, before walking on.
"That woman is really weird. She practically ate me when I suggested she took something for that eye."
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Phew! Well, I got the points I needed to get across across there, and that was all there really was to that chapter. Don't shoot the writer ;)
Astrid xxxx
