A/N (post-completion): Several more recent reviews since have commented on the fact that we know Regina had to adopt as she can't have children of her own due to reasons explored in the show. This was written a while before that episode, so I know my reasons are slightly different, but I couldn't change them without risking it conflicting in other parts of this story, so I guess that aspect is mildly AU :)


Knocking softly on the blonde's bedroom door, Ruby gives in to habit and lets herself in without waiting for a response. She'd been slightly confused by Emma's behaviour during their evening shift; the younger woman chatting with her amiably enough, while nodding dutifully to a tale imparted by Leroy, but seeming ultimately distracted. It had not gone unnoticed by the brunette that green eyes had darted up again and again towards the clock hanging above the counter, as though Emma might have somewhere to be.

Curious, then, that she should be sat up in her room alone.

"Hey, I-"

But she falls silent with a concerned frown, letting herself into the younger woman's room fully, and approaching the bed warily where the latter sits with her head bent and gaze cast down at floral sheets.

"Emma?"

The blonde jerks as Ruby reaches out to touch her shoulder, before glancing up with wide eyes and her teeth clamped over her bottom lip.

"Hey, what's up? Are you okay?"

Ruby perches on the edge of the bed and leans forward to tuck long hair behind the younger woman's ear gently.

"Emma?"

Swallowing audibly, Emma shrugs, before holding out a page of neat, black cursive.

"I don't know."

"What's this?"

Ruby frowns, recognising the handwriting after a moment of wracking her brain as she finally places it as belonging to the Mayor; having received a Christmas card sent to the Diner every year for as long as she can remember addressed and signed in that same, delicate cursive.

She glances back up at Emma, but the younger woman simply nods her head as though encouraging her, and she looks back down at the letter curiously.

Emma,

You suggested I write you a letter, and I have decided to do so, but please believe me when I begin this confession by telling you that this is the hardest letter I have ever had to write.

Looking up at the blonde with a frown, she clears her throat before continuing with a mixed sense of fascination and discomfort.

I only ask that you read this with the knowledge that I mean every word when I tell you, as I have done so many times now, that I want what's best for you. I am doing this because I value our friendship, and I have not been given the opportunity to say that many times in life before now. I believe that you need to know the truth imparted on this page before I can ask you to let me in any further than you already have done, and I only hope that you are able to understand why I have gone about things the way that I have done.

You asked me when we met why I should fear you coming to find me, and I told you it had to do with your mother. That was a lie. Not that I knew your mother- I knew her well, and I was indeed there the day she made the devastating choice she made, and we have not spoken to one another since- but this was not the reason I feared your company.

I feared you would want something of mine.

Your mother? That really is just a case of fate playing a cruel hand. Coincidence of the absolute worst variety.

You asked me how I was able to find you, and I avoided the question with mention of official documents. Again, this was a slight a bending of the truth. I knew you had been incarcerated as I implied, but I also knew what happened to you before your release. I knew this because it was the papers relating to the boy that led me to you in the first place.

I doubt this would surprise you, Emma, but I am not an easy woman to get along with. Before I brought you back with me, I felt quite alone in this town. In this world. I know that this much you do understand, as you once worded my feelings perfectly yourself. You told me that you see strangers wherever you go, and I know exactly what you mean by that. At the time, I'm not sure you understood why I might have felt so melancholy given my standing in the town I oversee, but I wonder if now, perhaps, you might understand me a little more. That may be wishful thinking on my part, but I believe you to be deceptively intuitive, and I will allow myself to hope.

I feel less alone with you here in town.

Before you came here, I had a great abundance of importance and a dismaying lack of purpose.

I had no one.

Please understand that.

You asked me out by the docks if I was married, and the idea struck me as absurd. Married? To whom!? No, Emma, I have never even considered the act. Never found anyone here in town that I would wish to be with in such a way. Troubling then, when wishing for companionship.

I wished for a child.

I wished for a child while not even entertaining the idea of baring it myself, due to a lack of empathy which bordered almost on revulsion for so many here in town. I know that you have found your peace here, Emma, and I am honestly very happy for you, but that is not me, and I have never found comfort in the arms of any here, despite what you might have deduced to be the case between myself and the Sheriff.

Perhaps by now, you have started to put the pieces together. If so, I beg of you to continue reading, if only because I would hope I have earned that much from you by now.

Swallowing nervously and glancing up at Emma- a knot of slow, rotten understanding building in her gut- Ruby sniffs and finishes the last few paragraphs on the page.

I asked for a closed adoption. I wanted to believe that the child was mine, and he is. I had no interest in the parents. In the mother. Not until Henry grew sick, and it seemed vital that I track her down for medical reasons... I trust you understand that I have kept you around for more than just medical reasons, Emma. When I took Henry in, I took him in as my son. I swore to love him as though he were my own blood, and I do. He is mine. He is mine, and having you here has been terrifying. I have done right by him, and I will continue to do so for as long as I live. I promised to give him everything that his mother did not. I wanted to hate you- I was so ready to hate you- but I couldn't. Not after seeing the way things were in Boston. Not after actually meeting you.

I understand why you did it, Emma. I understand now that what I wanted to hate you for, I should commend you for. What you did was selfless, not selfish. I understand that now. I only hope that you can find it within yourself to understand why I couldn't tell you the truth. I love him. With all my heart, I love him. I like you very much, and I care for you, Emma, but I love Henry, and I don't know what to do. Since bringing you here, I haven't known what to do. Because this isn't a fairytale. I didn't ask you here to reunite the two of you; I tried my hardest to avoid such a thing! But, you deserve better than what you were able to provide for yourself. I couldn't leave you to rot. You've been better to me than a great many people have been in my past, when you had no obligation to be, nor any real means to be. I haven't forgotten that you pulled me out of the way of that car, nor that you made us breakfast despite the risk you were taking (of course, I knew!) in doing so. There are good people and bad people in this world, and you are of the former variety without question. Countless people would have once proclaimed to be just as certain about my own standing. Not you, though. You called me good, Emma, and I ask of you to remember that. Please.

I tried to protect myself, and to protect Henry. I never meant to hurt you in that process.

Yours truly,

"She hasn't signed it."

Ruby croaks, not sure what else to say, and Emma finally looks up at her and shakes her head.

"No... I'm not sure she felt she could."

She frowns, before sighing deeply and leaning back against the headboard. Letting out a low whistle, the brunette places her hand on the younger woman's knee and studies the letter in her lap uncomfortably.

"That's some pretty heavy stuff... I mean... I don't know what to say. Just, I mean, are you alright? Like, really, are you okay right now? I feel like I need to do something, or give you something, or-"

"-Ruby. I'm okay."

Emma sighs, before astounding the waitress when she laughs softly.

"I mean, I could maybe do with a drink or something, but... I'm technically okay. Just... I don't know what it was I'd been expecting, but it sure as hell wasn't that!."

"I just can't believe she didn't tell you! I can't believe she's done this! I mean, I always knew Regina was a bit... There's a reason people don't trust her. I know you thought she was nice, and I'm sorry you've had to find out this way, but everyone in town knows she's a bit... Well..."

"A bit what?"

"I can't think of the right word... But just look at what she's done to you! That's-"

"-What has she done to me?"

Emma asks quietly, and the brunette frowns as she shakes the letter in her hand angrily.

"What do you mean?! She-"

"-Adopted a child, and was scared I would try and take back what I agreed to when signing his papers."

The blonde finishes gently, and Ruby gapes at her incredulously; not understanding why in the hell Emma isn't joining her in her outrage.

"You aren't angry!?"

"No."

The younger woman shakes her head, before catching the look of pure confusion that masks the anger twisting ordinarily friendly features and continuing on with a sigh

"I was. I really was. But, why?... I read that letter and I reacted pretty much how you just did... Then I read it again. And again. And again. I read what it actually said, and what it actually meant, and... I can't bring myself to be angry about it. I feel a hell of a lot of other stuff about it- nauseous, for one- but... Okay. She didn't tell me the truth when she should have. That's the only part of that letter that I would have any reasonable right to get pissed about."

"But Henry's your-"

"-He's not. He's not mine. Ruby, I signed enough papers to murder a pack of ballpoints to make sure of that."

"Yes, but, Regina's-"

"-Regina's what? Well adjusted? Well-off? Generous? Regina was in a position to do a good thing- something I wasn't and couldn't- and decided to take it. From what I know, she's done well. Do you know what I remember from going up into that nursery? I remember that the walls were painted blue, and there were prints of tiny hands and tiny feet mounted by the door. There was a crib, and a dresser, and a changing table, and toys, and a closet probably full of little, dinky clothes. You know what I don't remember? Any fucking signs that that little boy wasn't Regina's own child. I also don't remember any damp patches, or cracks in the paint, or signs of forced entry and quick flight, which is what that kid should be the lucky witness of by birthright... He's Regina's. That's not up for debate."

"...But, you wanted to keep him."

Ruby argues miserably; unsure why Emma seems to be looking at the hateful contents of the Mayor's letter so calmly. She knows that she herself isn't invested in what it contains, but she likes the blonde, and her conversation with Emma a couple of nights ago had been horrifying in her eyes. She has complained loudly and often about being kept cooped up by Granny, but the morning following Emma's retelling of events, she'd proceeded to sneak into her grandmother's bed and cuddle up with the old woman with her face buried into the soothing comfort of her nightdress. She supposes she is naive, and she'll accept this fact, but she also feels protective of the blonde as she doesn't feel enough people have tried to look out for the younger woman and thinks this is rather telling in itself... Not that she would ever dare to disclose such assumptions to Emma.

"Yes. I wanted to keep him. I also want to eat ice cream for breakfast... Some things just aren't a good idea. I made a decision that really hurt, I'm not belittling that. It really hurt, and that's why I ran when Regina yelled at me. Because it's painful and it's fresh and it's a terrible thing. It was an awful, horrible decision to have to make. But that's not Regina's fault.

I read that letter the first time and I was pissed as hell. Then I was sad, then I was confused. Now, though... I just keep thinking about the fact she didn't sign her name. I suppose I might have taken it before she had time to finish it, but I don't think so. That letter says pretty much all I think it needs to say. I think... I think she was afraid. Those smudges there where the ink's been wet? I didn't cry, Ruby. I got mad and sad and confused, but I didn't cry. Those smudges aren't my doing.

She was afraid."

Ruby licks her lips nervously as the blonde holds out her hand for the letter in her lap; handing it back to her and moving so that she sits shoulder to shoulder with Emma against the headboard.

"...You've forgiven her, haven't you?"

"No."

"No?"

"There's not really anything to forgive. She could have told me, fine, yes, that's true. Then what? How would I have benefited from knowing the truth back in Boston? I suppose I could have analysed the way she was dressed and the way she acted and assumed at least the kid was in good hands, but then what? She might have been a bitch. Might have been a nut-job. Might have been anybody! All I would have been left with is some woman coming to me and telling me she knew me and had my child. I wouldn't have come back with her- no way!- I would have just sat there in that flat, wondering. I'm not going to forgive her for bringing me here in spite of her fears and trying to help, even though she must have known it was a convoluted as fuck situation; I don't need to!"

"I suppose not."

The waitress nods, before frowning when Emma suddenly sits up straight and studies the letter thoughtfully with a look of growing concern.

"Ruby. I know Regina pretty well."

"Well, yeah, I-"

"-And I'd bet you anything she's noticed this is missing."

"Maybe."

"I'm not mad at her."

The blonde looks up and states earnestly, and Ruby furrows her brow in confusion as she nods once more.

"Yeah, I know; you said."

"Ruby, I don't want her sat fretting about this. Look at these smudges. Look at that space at the bottom of the page... I don't want that. That's not fair. I... Well, shit... Do you think I could borrow your car?"

"What?"

"Please? I know I'm not insured or anything, but it's not far, and I-"

"-Emma, what are you planning to do? You want to go over there?! Now?!"

"Yes. Now. Now, before Regina spends the entire night worrying about this!"

"But... What are you even going to say to her?"

"I don't know. I have no fucking clue... But... I'm not sure that what I say matters. She's asked me to understand, and I do. She'll know that. She'll know that if I go and see her... Even if I can't say it as nicely and eloquently as she's written things here. She didn't wait around when I ran away, and I'm not going to wait around now just so I can rock up in the sunshine. I'm not sure what the protocol is for these things, but I'm pretty sure she's not going to go yelling at me for waking her up from a peaceful dream. This needs to be addressed, and it needs to be addressed now. Regina said once that one of us had to be the grown up. This time that's got to be me."

"... I'll go get my keys."


Sitting stiffly in her chair, Regina blinks as the yellow splash of a set of headlights cloaks the kitchen in a brief swatch of light; the dull sound of an engine idling and then coming to rest out in her driveway.

"Sydney..."

She guesses morosely; not in the mood to speak to anyone, let alone listen to whatever that jabbering idiot has come to seek her out for. She is almost certain it will be Sydney, as she doesn't think Graham would be quite so foolish as to seek her out so late at night without having been requested to do so.

Lowering her forehead onto the table miserably and waiting to bark irritably at the imminent knock on her front door, she frowns when it doesn't come. Counting to one hundred, she murmurs agitatedly beneath her breath when she is met only by silence. Pushing herself up and stalking to the front door, she peers through the peephole to try and place the car she can see looming in the shadows at the end of her drive, but she is unable to make out more than just a dull shape. Brow furrowing deeper, she glances out the window to her side in search of any signs of her visitor, before pulling open the front door curiously, and taking a step back in surprise.

"Emma?!"

"...Hey."

The blonde offers awkwardly from her perch on the front steps. Swallowing as she is struck by a sudden surge of emotion, Regina strives to pull herself together as her heart beats fast with fear and her fingers tremble behind her back.

"What... What are you doing out here?"

"I don't know... I hadn't really decided whether to knock or not yet."

Emma explains truthfully, before pulling crumpled paper from her pocket and addressing the Mayor's feet.

"I read this."

"... Yes?"

"Yeah."

"But... I didn't think... I mean, you came here? You read it, but you came here?"

"Well... Yeah."

The blonde shrugs awkwardly, and Regina closes her eyes- her lashes wet- before stepping aside and beckoning with an absurd sense of shyness.

"I think you should probably come in, dear... That is, I mean if you'd like to."

"I would."

Emma smiles eventually, and it is a tentative, troubled smile, but it is one Regina reciprocates gladly as tears roll down her cheeks.