Chapter 54

That evening the storm had not grown worse but it hadn't eased up either. Lucy found she couldn't stop pacing her room and was doing nothing but annoying and agitating her cat. She kept waiting to hear the voice that hadn't yet come. Had to remind herself that she hadn't heard Bellatrix the first few times the dark storms had come either.

Things had changed though and she was beginning to realize what panicked her the most this time was that she might have another mental meltdown. If that was the case she probably shouldn't stay alone in her rooms. She felt safe there, yes, but she was very much alone at the moment. She needed friends. Friends who were down in the dungeons most likely, down in a part of the castle where it was possible she wouldn't be able to hear the storm and most certainly wouldn't be able to see it.

Hurrying along the corridors Lucy could almost feel the moment she walked through the place Bella should have been that first time she'd spoken. It was a sensation she'd felt before and she didn't like it any better now, but she doubted the feeling had much meaning.

She knocked on the door, trying to rub some warmth back into her arms. It was cold down here, which, she thought, was probably lovely in the summer but at the moment it was giving her the chills.

"Lucy?" Dinah said from behind her, making her jump.

"Oh! Sorry. I, um, I'm okay. I just don't think I should stay in my rooms by myself tonight. Or at least I don't want to."

"Oh. Of course, I understand," she said, withdrawing a key from her pocket. "Please join us tonight. We're just hiding out from the storm. Severus doesn't like me to be alone so I stay over even on class nights when the weather gets rough." She started to work the lock.

"That's…nice of him," she frowned at the key Dinah was attempting to turn in the lock. "You have a key to Severus's rooms? I'm not sure that's the right one. It doesn't appear to be working."

Dinah smiled. "It just sticks a little sometimes. There," she pushed the door open into the dark office, the rows and rows of potion bottles looking a little eerie in the absence of light. "We've had shared room keys for quite a long time now."

"And you didn't tell me?" Lucy said, grinning despite her surroundings, "Honestly Dinah that's not very friend-like if you don't share absolutely everything with me. I rarely lock my room myself but Sirius does have a key to it if necessary."

She laughed, closing the door behind them; "So sorry about that. It probably helps when I explain that at the time we exchanged the keys you and I weren't exactly speaking."

"Ah, right," she said, walking through the office and allowing Dinah to precede her into the next room, "I suppose I can let it slide this time then."

"Thanks," she chuckled, leading them into the well-lit sitting room and shutting the office door behind them. The room appeared empty except for a few bottles of various liquid ingredients that sat on the dining room table. "I assume you had knocked? Severus must be in the shower if he didn't come and answer the door. From the looks of the table there he's been messing around with potions. We'll just wait for him, then. Have a seat," she sat on the couch and gestured for Lucy to join her.

"I had just knocked when you came up behind me. Didn't give him much chance to answer," Lucy said, settling into the corner of the couch and hugging the pillow Dinah had strangled the other day. She tensed up for a moment when she thought she heard a roll of thunder. "Sorry," she apologized, "I keep expecting to hear her."

"Don't worry, I understand how it is," Dinah nodded. "These storms are unnerving, but this is probably the safest place to be. Severus keeps his dungeons very well-protected."

"That seems very like him. I figured it was quieter down here and there were people around. This is a nice couch," Lucy commented.

Dinah blushed before saying, "It is. It's quite comfortable. In the early days of our relationship Severus and I would spend hours on end just sitting here, cuddled up against each other and reading. Back in the days where he didn't do much of anything else with me, it was nice to know at least we could lean against each other and just enjoy each others' company," she smiled.

Lucy smiled, remembering how she and Sirius used to do similar things during the Order days, "That is nice. When we were part of the Order Sirius and I used to do the same thing. Well, sort of. Sometimes we would just sit next to each other, sometimes I'd be leaning against him with his arm around me. Rarely, I'd be sitting in his lap. It sort of depended on how intimate we were with each other at the time and who was around," she giggled, "Severus walked in on us once or twice. I think that's why he used to glare at me all the time. Um, we were doing nothing but kissing and were fully clothed, just so you know. He never saw anything then like he has this year from us."

"Yes, well," she chuckled, "Even so, I can only imagine how the old Severus reacted to such things, even innocent things. He was so hesitant about just putting his arm around me for the longest time."

"If Dumbledore wasn't with him it was generally with a snort and then he'd stalk out of the room, occasionally not quite slamming the door. If Dumbledore was with him a snarky comment sufficed."

Dinah burst into affectionate giggles; "Oh, Severus. I can definitely see all of that happening. In a way, I miss those days. Not that he doesn't have his snarky moments still. Speaking of which... I should probably bring some clothes into the bathroom for him and let him know you're here before he walks out without thinking. Oh, just wait till you see him fluffy!" she clapped her hands together.

Lucy smiled, loosening her hold on the pillow, "Alright. I look forward to seeing my colleague all fluffed up like a little bunny."

"Oh, but don't ever tell him I said that," Dinah grinned, standing from the couch. "Judging from his comments over Easter I might just end up getting killed."

Lucy tried to look appropriately concerned, "You and me both probably. You'd best go before he pops out on us though. Dumbledore would probably appreciate it if we weren't killed. Not to mention that event might set the progress the boys made back a step or two. I promise I'll be okay until you get back."

"Okay then," Dinah nodded, heading first into the bedroom to find some clothes for her boyfriend.

Lucy curled up on the couch, listening for the storm. It was probably a better idea to try not to listen for it and ignore the weather all together but she couldn't help herself. She noticed Dinah walk back through and glace at her as she walked past and into the bathroom. Alone for a few moments she returned to her habit of chewing on her lip. In her mind when she chewed on it she was usually nervous, if she just bit it…well Sirius had already pointed out what she was feeling then.

She looked up when Dinah and Severus exited the bathroom, glad to see them. Dinah was right. Severus's hair was definitely fluffy, a bit like Sirius's when it was humid out. Though she would never tell either man that. "Hi. Sorry to burst in on you like this. Dinah said it was okay. She let me in."

"She had every right to. She essentially lives here now as well," Severus said, letting Dinah take her normal seat next to Lucy and sitting on her other side.

She wasn't quite sure what to say to that. The information wasn't shocking; she had even stopped looking for Dinah in her own rooms weeks ago. "You have a nice couch. It's very…fluffy. I don't think I've ever sat on it before."

Severus glared at Dinah, raising an eyebrow when Lucy used the word fluffy. Eventually he sighed and rolled his eyes, turning back to Lucy. "Thank you, I suppose. No one has ever complimented my furniture before." She noticed that he was giving her a strange look.

"You're welcome. Some furniture can be quite uncomfortable. Did I tell ever tell you I spent the night on my couch the Wednesday before break?"

Dinah laughed, turning to her, "Really? Trouble in paradise?"

Lucy smiled. The storm and the closeness were making her think back to the calming conversation she'd had with Sirius back then. "No, nothing of the sort. That's just where we fell asleep. He transfigured my dinner plate into a blanket so we wouldn't get cold. I was on top. He told me what it was like…being dead."

That got Severus to turn back from his food; "I see...well, his experience was quite a bit longer than mine. I don't recall much more than...some kind of peaceful grey state, I think. It still exists in the pensieve. You should have seen it, Dinah."

"Mm, I did..." she said, "It was odd. Kind of echoey, but it felt good. Quiet...calm...peaceful. Then again, you weren't really dead."

"No," he murmured, "I wasn't. I had to come back. I felt it even then," the smile he gave her now was quite peaceful.

"That's similar to what Sirius said. He was calm, at peace. He saw James and Lily there, but they knew there was something different about him."

"Yes, I imagine so. He was 'dead' for quite some time." Severus hesitated; "They are also at peace...James and Lily."

"You know that?" Dinah murmured, looking at him.

"I do. You convinced me of that a long time ago," he pressed a kiss to her hair. "They are where they're supposed to be, and I am where I'm supposed to be."

She smiled and nodded, snuggling into his shoulder.

Lucy sighed and hugged the pillow to her again, "They are. Their son was well looked after by a lot of people. He's safe and doing what he was meant to do. He's happy. That's all they wanted. It helped to know he wasn't alone."

"Harry?"

"Yes, sorry, Harry. And it helped me to know Sirius wasn't alone then. I don't know exactly what I pictured but I like that he wasn't alone and he didn't suffer." Lucy wiped her eyes against the pillow she was holding. Tears had sprung up unexpectedly. "Sorry. This is all rather depressing isn't it?"

She felt Dinah put a hand on her shoulder. "No, I understand. It's easy for our thoughts to do this during these storms, isn't it? But at least you know now that he was all right. That's an important part of the healing process."

"Yes, it is. Thanks. How was your Easter?" she asked, trying to bring them to a more cheerful topic.

"Wonderful. My parents really like Severus. They accepted him easily."

"Yes," Severus frowned and Dinah giggled; "Fairly unnerving, that."

Lucy laughed, "I imagine so. I think the only reason the Weasleys have been as accepting of Sirius as they have been is because they knew him before we were together. Still, I think they might have wished for someone my own age and less…crazy, escaped murderer but they trust me. Didn't keep Molly from putting us in separate rooms though. Not that I want her to know we're doing anything but I got stuck with Hermione and Ginny, not so bad. Sirius was in with Charlie and Percy. If it had just been Charlie I'm sure we could have gotten away with being alone more than the bit we did, but not with Percy hanging around. He's still a stickler for the rules."

Dinah giggled. "That's too bad. And the separate rooms thing. Being thirty-eight or having been thirty-eight really helped us out. We got to sleep together. Of course, all we did was sleep." Severus began shifting uncomfortably at the direction in which the conversation was going.

Lucy shrugged, "It's probably just as well. It would have been weird to do anything at the Burrow. I mean I slept and played there as a kid and…no, it would have just been weird."

"Yes, exactly why all we did was sleep," Dinah laughed.

Severus cleared his throat; "Enjoyable though this conversation is, I believe there are some things we need to discuss," he gestured to the table with the potion ingredients and gave them both pointed stares.

"Oh. Right. You discovered something about Eugene, didn't you?" Dinah asked.

He nodded, standing from the couch. "During our break today, in the midst of his ludicrous suggestion that we start teaching first years how to fight off Inferi, he managed to slip another attempt at the reversal potion into my coffee without my noticing. Seems he knew I would make him wait until you were around and he was simply 'too anxious' to see if his next attempt had worked," he growled.

"Well, now that's hardly acceptable, not to mention less then respectable. I assume you plan on telling Dumbledore about this right? And the Aurors?" Lucy shifted in her seat, concerned that this did not bode well for her friends.

"Yes, well, that was my first inclination, most definitely," he sighed. "However...after telling him off in my adult voice for three whole minutes longer than it lasted last time-"

"Oh, I am definitely going to kill Eugene!" Dinah exclaimed, "How dare he make you use your sexy voice when I wasn't even around?"

"Do you not think that there are more important matters at hand here?" Severus snarled at her, his skin taking on only the tiniest flush.

"Sexy voice?" Lucy asked, amused at the turn this had suddenly taken.

"Oh," Dinah blushed and turned to Lucy; "Yes, I think Severus's adult voice is quite...um, nice sounding. Not that there's anything wrong with his current voice either."

"So glad it meets with your approval," he rolled his eyes.

"Mmm," Lucy murmured, deciding to give Severus a break and not comment further on that.

"Sorry," Dinah faced Severus sheepishly; "Please continue."

"Well, I asked him if I might take a look at the concoction to attempt to analyze the ingredients..."

"He said no?" Dinah guessed.

"No," Severus shook his head. "Actually, he said yes."

"Really? That was...accommodating of him."

"As I thought," Severus agreed, frowning.

"Interesting," Lucy murmured, going over to stand near Severus at the table, "So, these are the ingredients he used in the potion then?" Looking through the ingredients she eventually said, "These look similar to the Ageing Potion Fred and George made in their sixth year. Would that work to counter the youthening potion do you think?"

"Absolutely not," Severus said firmly, taking the ingredients Lucy had indicated and moving them aside; "That aging potion is both temporary and hardly strong enough to be considered a real aging potion. It superficially ages nothing but the outermost layers of a person for use in games or disguises. Many well-placed spells can see through it, just as the Goblet of Fire was able to see through the Weasley twins' ridiculous attempt at fooling it. It would be ludicrous to assume that this one-hundred percent real youthening that Dinah and I have endured could be counteracted by an aging potion of this sort."

"Yes, I understand that. I received an E on my Potions' N.E.W.T if you'll recall. What I meant to say was do you think it would be wise to use that potion as a starting point to the antidote? For that matter, and I don't mean to upset you with this, but would it be possible for Eugene to use this Ageing Potion to make you believe progress is being made, when in reality there's been no progress whatsoever? I truly hope that's not the case but I just…we need to look at this from all angles."

Severus sighed; "Yes, Lucy, that was my thought. And that is why I took these Ageing Potion ingredients from my own stores to compare them with the ingredients I found in Eugene's concoction," he gestured to the other set of unrelated vials that he had moved the other ones away from.

"Wait a moment," it was Dinah's turn to stand from the couch and walk over to them. "You're saying those ingredients were not in Eugene's concoction?"

"That's what I'm saying," he gestured to the real ingredients. "The ingredients here are all quite reasonable counterparts to the ones we know of in the original potion, and the others are all ones that would have crossed my mind, had I given it a lot of thought, to use in antidote attempts. Which means... Eugene is actually trying to help us," he looked more disturbed about that idea than he looked pleased.

Lucy looked smugly at the pair. In addition to many other things she sometimes felt people thought she had suddenly become stupid since quitting the Ministry and her…little episode. At the moment she felt like she'd accomplished something and helped out her incredibly hard to please Potions Master. "That's…oddly disturbing for some reason. It shouldn't be, but the thought doesn't sit as well with me as I would have thought."

"Exactly. Because it makes everything quite confusing and unclear. Dinah, this fits with your idea of Eugene giving mixed messages and your theory that he did not want us to be youthened and splits with his test subject on that point."

"Right..." Dinah agreed, frowning and fingering one of the 'good' bottles. "But it doesn't make sense with his other behaviors. Now I see why you shied away from those theories of mine. I didn't think about it then because," she flushed, "well, I'm idealistic and was using them more as a point of trying to see the good in everyone than I was really thinking deeply about them..."

Severus managed a slight smile; "Yes, I can see that. But now that we know he is trying to help us here the question becomes why he is very much trying the opposite with everything else. He is definitely not trying to help me with my classes. Why would he try to sabotage me there but try to help us here?"

"Maybe he has something against defending against the dark arts? Stupid idea I know," Lucy said, grinning and holding her hands up in surrender.

Dinah laughed and even Severus cracked a smile. "Well, all I can think is that he doesn't want us youthened but he also wants to keep us from knowing anything more than we have to. I don't know what that means about his ultimate feelings for us, though. I felt like he liked us at the beginning, but the way he's treating you in class infuriates me and makes me think that we're just pawns in his and his test subject's little game. Either way, we don't know much more than we did before."

"I haven't had many dealings with him but he seemed nice at the Slug Club party we went to that one time," Lucy smirked, "That was a good night."

"Really? Glad you enjoyed it. I was discovering creepy things in his rooms, not to mention sick with a horrible cold."

"Which you would not have gotten had you not been sitting out in the rain staring off into the distance for hours," Severus reminded, running a strand of her hair through his fingers.

"If I hadn't been doing that you would never have held my hand for the first time."

"That storm gave me a cold too, but not as bad as yours was. By the time the party came around I was mostly recovered. Actually the party itself wasn't what I was referring to. Between Slughorn and Nick it was annoying. Rather, it was," Lucy blushed until she was sure her face matched her hair, "after the party that was enjoyable."

"Oh?" Dinah teased. "Was that your night then?"

"My night?" Lucy played innocent, "What do you mean?"

Dinah giggled and in a moment Lucy joined her. Severus was just starting to roll his eyes at them when a huge crash of thunder caused both Dinah and Lucy to jump. Quite quickly, reality fell again and Dinah sighed. "I hate to do this, but I really need to go and try to find Tommy now."

"That's alright;" Lucy assured her, turning to Severus, "Is it alright if I stay? I can go back to my rooms if you want. I-I think I'll be fine." She really hoped he didn't make her go back to her rooms. She really did believe she wouldn't have a problem tonight, but she'd been so much more relaxed down here among friends. She'd hardly thought of Bella -and the fact that she hadn't yet spoken - since entering the dungeons.

He sighed; "You may stay. Dinah won't be gone for long. Will you?" he turned to Dinah, his gaze concerned again.

"I hope not. I can't guarantee anything, though. I have to stay as long as Tommy is there. I have to try to make him happy and comfortable, show him that he's not alone."

"You are magnificent at doing that," he leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on her cheek; "All right. Go and be safe."

"Yes," she slid her hand down his arm and squeezed his fingers before stepping back and turning to leave the room.