HUMANITY'S STRONGEST?

Chapter 52: Of Dead Trees and Small Children

Song: A variation of the Gaelic blessing "Deep Peace" inspired by the lyrics written byLeitch, Donovan / Walton, Jake and by the Bill Douglas variation.

A week after Eren's accident, he began to gain more control over shifting into titan form. Zoe made certain that he always had a specific goal to enable him to shift when he bit his hand. The first successful shift, the fifteen meter titan, Eren remembered Levi's comment about the accident and the middle finger. That in mind, the first thing he did upon becoming a titan was to look at his captain and stick up the middle finger of his right hand.

"Oh my goodness!" Hange exclaimed.

"He clearly has good control over the motor functions of his hands," Levi stated flatly. The little shit! Okay, not so little at the moment . . . but he really just flipped me off! I know I mentioned it after the accident, but . . . why does he have to be so goddamn funny?! "It would have been funnier if you had done that last time." Stupid little shit! Making jokes!

As soon as Eren was free of his titan form, Levi slapped him up the back of his head. "Ow!" the boy yelped in surprise more than anything. Levi hadn't hit him hard; it was the principle.

"That was for flipping off your commanding officer, you shitty little snot!"

Eren suppressed a giggle as they headed back into the castle . . . to clean it from top to bottom . . . again.

Levi bolted upright in his bed as a blood curdling scream shattered the night. He immediately turned up the oil lamp and saw Eren thrashing about in his bed, clearly in distress. He got up and rushed into the cell. "Eren! Eren! Wake up! You're having a nightmare!"

The teenager was shaking violently, his eyes closed tight and his breath coming in ragged gasps. "NOOOOO!" He screamed again.

"Eren! What you're seeing is not real!" Levi sat on the edge of the bed and placed his hand on the boy's sweat soaked brow and then spoke softly, "Wake up, Eren."

The boy's sea green eyes snapped open as he gasped for air. He looked over at Levi, a little surprised to see the man there. "I . . ." Tears began to fill his eyes and run down his face. "I'm so sorry!" The distressed teen sat up, hugged his knees to his chest and began sobbing.

Levi began rubbing the back of Eren's shoulders. "It's okay, Eren. I told you; we all have nightmares."

"But you're not monsters!" Eren retorted. "You dream of being chased by monsters. In my dreams, I am the monster!"

"You are not a monster, Eren," Levi replied calmly. Where in the hell is this coming from? I supposed it's because he's been treated like a monster since the first time he changed.

"But I am a monster, Captain!" the boy insisted, finally looking his captain in the eye. "You've seen the reports! I killed two men when I was only nine! Worst of all, I tried to kill Mikasa in Trost! My own sister! Everyone is scared of me. I'm scared of me!"

"I'm guessing your dream was showing you your worst fear." Levi paused a moment before continuing. "Listen, Eren. I promise you that you are not a monster. You may not have full control of your titan form, but, like with anything else we do in life, it takes practice. That is why you are here; to practice and gain control."

"Yeah, but . . ."

"No buts, Eren. If you were the monster you claim to be, then you would have gone running around eating people at random just like normal titans do. Instead, you have used your titan form to protect those you love and to protect humanity as a whole. No monster would do that. Okay, so you lost control once. It's just like a baby learning to walk – you're going to fall down once in a while before you get really good at it. You'll never be perfect at it because you are, after all, only human."

"Am I really?" Eren asked dubiously.

"Yes, Eren Jaeger. You are a normal human teenager with an exceptional power that has been thrust upon you. And quite honestly, you're handling this a damn sight better than anyone could rightfully expect of you. You are not a monster."

Eren laid back down, not looking particularly convinced. He held up his hands, looking at the shackles which bound them to the wall behind him. "Can you prove that?"

I think maybe I can, Levi thought as an idea began to form in his mind. He brushed some of the sweat soaked hair from Eren's forehead. "Get some sleep, Eren. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day."

Levi returned to his cot and turned down the light. He remembered an ancient song from a land far to the west of the walls in the western sea that the Seafarers had taught him. He lay back on the cot and began to sing.

Deep peace of the running wave to you
Deep peace of the flowing air to you
Deep peace of the quiet earth to you

Moon and stars pour their healing light on you.

Deep peace of the sleeping stones to you
Deep peace of the wandering wind to you
Deep peace of the shining of stars to you

Wind and song take your earthly cares from you

Deep peace of the summer breeze to you
Deep peace of the autumn sigh to you
Deep peace of the winter night to you
Gentle spring breathe sweet new life to you

Deep peace of the crimson flame to you
Deep peace of the silver moon to you
Deep Peace of the emerald sea to you

Sun will rise and lift your soul anew

Deep peace to you

Eren drifted off to sleep, realizing that this was the very first time someone had sung him a lullaby.

The next morning, in the mess hall, Levi dragged Hange to the other side of the room, just out of ear shot of everyone else. "I'm taking over today's experiment," Levi told her.

"What?! Why?" Zoe knew something fascinating was afoot.

"Because I need to prove something to the kid, and I can't do it with everyone else around. I've sent the other four out on errands that will keep them busy all day," Levi explained. "As for you; you and Moblit can watch from one of the castle towers, but you are not to interfere in any way. Use your binoculars, take all the notes you want, but stay in the castle no matter what."

"Ohhhh . . . This is gonna be gooooood!" Zoe said fiendishly. "What are you going to do?"

"You'll see." Levi walked away, and, seen that Eren had finished his breakfast, dragged him out to begin the morning's activities.

They left the back of the castle, and walked out across the field to the edge of the woods some distance from the castle and stables and barracks. They walked in silence until Levi stopped near a very large, but very dead, grey, barkless tree. Levi pulled out his favorite dagger and began to twirl it by the tip in his fingers.

"Here's how this is gonna work, Jaeger. That big dead oak over there is you goal . . . your purpose. You are going to use your titan form to pull it up by whatever roots are left, fill in and smooth over the hole, then break that tree down into consistently sized logs that will fit in the wood stoves and fireplaces in the castle. About 50 cm ought to do. They can't be too big around either, since we need to be able to fit them easily into the cook stoves. Do you understand the task I've set before you?"

"Um . . . Yes, sir. May I ask a question?"

"What's the purpose of this experiment? It's to gauge the dexterity of your hands and how well you can focus on one task from beginning to end. Zoe will be watching from the castle and taking notes on your performance. Any other questions?"

"No, Captain."

Levi held out the blade of his dagger to Eren. "You have your purpose, now this will be your pain."

Eren reached out for the dagger, but hesitated. "Aren't you standing a little too close, Captain?"

"No."

Eren gripped the blade tight and Levi pulled it back quickly. There was a spray of blood, a flash of light, a cloud of steam and a fifteen meter titan standing in Eren's place. The titan examined his hands for a then the rest of his body, then looked down at Levi. And here I thought he looked short before! Eren thought laughingly to himself.

"Well done, Jaeger," Levi praised. "Now turn and face the castle, and hold up both of your middle fingers!"

Without thinking, Eren promptly turned and did as Levi instructed. Levi could hear Zoe's squawk from back in the castle tower and watched in unseen amusement as the titan's jaw fell open as he realized what he'd just done. "Very well done, Eren! Now that we've established you can understand me and follow orders, I suggest you get on with the tree."

The titan nodded, went over to the dead giant, grabbed it around its massive trunk and pulled it up out of the ground. He set the tree down and, as per his instructions, filled in the hole left behind and smoothed it over. He glanced over at Levi, and his eyes widened in surprise.

The small captain had wandered over into the shade of a still living tree, leaned back against the trunk, folded his arms over his chest, and closed his eyes with a tired sounding sigh. Wait a second . . . Captain Levi doesn't have his gear with him! He doesn't even have any blades with him! The titan grunted in an attempt to get Levi's attention.

Levi opened one eye. "What do you want Jaeger?"

The titan caught Levi's full attention as he searched around frantically, before picking up one of the branches, breaking it down to a suitable pencil size (for a fifteen meter titan that is) and began to write on the ground. Isn't it dangerous to be out here with me like this alone with no ODM gear and no blades sleeping?

"Not really. And I'm not sleeping. As with most scouts, I learn to doze whenever the opportunity presents itself. You've done a good job filling in the hole. Now, the sooner you finish breaking down that tree to firewood, the sooner we can move on to the next order of business."

The titan nodded, sat down on the ground and began breaking the tree into relatively consistent sized logs for the fire places and stoves in the castle. He even thought to stack them neatly in double rows – he knew Levi would want it that way.

So he can still communicate in his titan form. Good thinking with the writing. He seems to have full control of his cognitive abilities. His dexterity is rather good too. It's not easy using those big fingers to break a tree down into such comparatively small pieces and keeping them consistently sized. I have to say . . . I'm actually impressed.

It didn't take long for Eren to finish his task. "Very good, Eren. You even thought to stack the stuff neatly without my having to tell you." Levi had turned his back on Eren to inspect the titan's work a little more closely. The man heard a low rumble just behind him, and he turned to see that Eren had knelt down, placed both hands flat on the ground on either side of Levi and was resting his chin on the ground just a half a meter away in an attempt to get eye level with his captain.

Those eyes are no less intense in this form. Levi reached out his hand and placed it on the titan's nose. You did a very good job. Zoe's probably about to burst back there in the castle. However, I'd like to tell you the real reason for this little experiment of mine today."

The titan cocked his head slightly. He could scarcely believe that Levi, humanity's strongest soldier, slayer of hundreds – or even thousands of titans, would so calmly stand so close to his jaws and still reach out to gently touch him and talk to him. Eren moved one of his hands, bringing his index finger over to touch the tiny human standing in front of him. Levi glanced over at the approaching finger, but showed no signs of fear or anxiety. The titan's finger gently stroked Levi's upper arm. Levi reached up and stroked the finger in return.

"There's a few things I need you to think about, Eren," Levi began. "First of all, I am considered one of the top titan slayers in the world. I have spent my entire life learning how and then killing titans. They are soulless monsters that kill and eat humans without remorse and without reason. They don't do it for food since they don't have the means to digest anything. The just eat us indiscriminately. And in return, I kill them indiscriminately. That said, Eren, do you really think that I, the slayer of monsters, would even for a moment, let you anywhere near me, little more than a meter from those jaws of yours and with your hands where they could easily grab me if I thought, for event the briefest of seconds, thought that you were a monster of any kind? Would I let you this close to me? Would I let you touch me? Would I let you live if I thought you were a monster?"

The titan looked a little baffled by all of this. He's right. He doesn't hesitate to slay every titan he encounters. But he didn't kill me! Even the first time he saw me as I came out of my titan form, he didn't kill me! And now . . . he's the only person other than Mikasa and Armin that treats me like a human being! And he's not biased like they are. If Humanity's Strongest trusts me as a human being and not a monster, then maybe . . . The titan's face suddenly lit up and he gently nuzzled Levi with his nose.

Damn! Even in this form, his whole face lights up when he's happy! He may be fifteen meters tall, but it's still obvious that he's still just a kid. "Now you seem to be catching my drift. Now get out of that ugly thing and clean up. We have another task to attend to today."

Eren struggled a moment before finally pulling free of the titan body and fell most ungracefully to the ground, landing on his ass. "OW!"

"You make falling on your ass look so effortless," Levi said in his usual bored tone.

"It's an art form," Eren replied. "I've had lots of practice."

"I don't doubt it."

After showering and putting on a clean uniform, Eren met Levi out by the stables where the captain was waiting with Firestorm and had Lucy saddled and ready to go. The rode in silence until they reached the city of Arness. "This is where I've lived since shortly after the Survey Corps moved its headquarters from Cairne to Trost. It's a good place to raise children."

Eren's face collapsed into an open mouthed look of shock. "Wait . . . YOU have children?!"

"About a dozen at the moment."

"A dozen?!" He says that like it's normal to have a dozen kids at his age . . . how old is he anyway?

Levi let out a sound that almost sounded like it could have been a chuckle. "Had you going there, didn't I, Eren? They're not mine biologically. They're all orphans. Some are abandoned, others lost parents to sickness, murder or titans. All of the government supported orphanages are overrun and won't take in any more. So when I find them, I simply take them in and take care of them myself. Three of them are adults now, so they do most of the work these days. I'm very grateful to them for it. Ever since Maria fell, I haven't been able to spend much time at home anymore. Here we are."

I can't believe he actually just told me all of that! I didn't think he told anybody anything about himself!

Levi went up to the door and went in and was immediately flooded by children of all ages, all calling out greetings and asking nonstop questions. And then the spotted Eren. A little boy with red hair and a face full of freckles smiled toothily at Eren. "Who's this, Levi?"

"Everyone, this is Eren Jaeger. He's a new member of my squad," Levi introduced. "The little curly top red head here is Brian. He likes just about everybody."

Brian's grin got bigger. "Are you the one that can change into a big titan and beat all the bad titans up?"

"Um . . . yeah, I am," Eren replied hesitantly.

"COOOOOL!" was the chorus response.

"I wanna be able to do that when I grow up!"

"Me too!"

"I'd be so big I could just step on all the titans!"

"I'd be the prettiest titan, but I'd still beat up all the bad ones!"

"Papa!" A lovely young woman in her early twenties with fawn colored hair and light blue eyes swept into the room and threw her arms around Levi's neck. "I'm so glad you were able to make it today!"

Levi place a tender kiss on her cheek. "I'm glad I could too, Hannah."

"Hey, Claymore! Pa's here!" A slightly younger man, that looked a lot like Hannah with glasses came in and embraced Levi. "How're you doin', Pa?"

"About the same as usual, Henry," Levi replied. "How is everything going here?"

"Crazy as ever, Dad!" a new voice chimed in. "But we wouldn't have it any other way!" The tall man with light brown hair and hazel eyes also embraced Levi. "I'm glad you were able to make it here today. The kid's have been looking forward to this for days!"

"I haven't missed anyone's birthday yet, and I don't intend to start now," Levi responded. "I'd like you to meet Eren Jaeger. He's the newest addition to my squad. Eren, this is Hannah, her brother Henry, and this here is Claymore. They are the first three children I ever took in."

"Eren can become a titan!" Brian said excitedly.

Much to Eren's surprise, Hannah embraced him warmly. "It's so good to meet you, Eren!"

Henry grabbed the teen's hand and shook it vigorously. "Yeah! Welcome to the madhouse! We love every minute of it!"

Claymore shook his hand next. "You must be special, Eren. Dad never brings military people with him, except for Aunt Zoe, Uncle Mike, Uncle Erwin and occasionally Uncle Nile. It's an honor to meet you, Eren Jaeger."

One of the little girls was tugging at Hannah's skirt. "Hannah," she whispered loudly. "You're gonna tell Levi now aren't you?"

Levi picked the little girl up. "Okay. Who's in trouble?"

"Nobody!" the girl giggled. "Hannah's having a baby!"

Claymore burst out laughing. "Well, the cat's out of the bag now! So much for surprising him!"

"Is it true?"

Hannah was grinning from ear to ear. "Yes, Papa. It's true. I'm pregnant with Clay and mine's first child!"

Still holding the little girl balanced on his hip, Levi gave Hannah a hug. "Congratulations, mon cheri!"

"If it's a boy, were naming him after you, Dad," Claymore said proudly.

"You would do that to a poor innocent child?"

"Come on, Papa! It's a beautiful name. Levi Randall – it's perfect!" Hannah replied.

"Wait a second here . . ." Eren finally spoke, after mulling all of this new information over. "So Captain Levi took you all in and raised you and you consider him your father?"

"That's right, dear," Hannah answered.

Eren looked over at Levi with an impish little shit grin on his face. "That means in a few months you'll be a grandpa, old man!" Eren then roared laughing. It didn't help that Claymore and Henry joined in.

You think you're so funny, don't you, brat? Damn little shit! Trouble is, that is funny when you think about it. I'll have to make him clean the stables by himself tomorrow for that little jibe. "Laugh it up now while you can, Jaeger. Tomorrow you'll be cleaning the stables . . . alone. Besides, I'm only 34 years old." What the fuck, Levi?! Why'd you tell him that? He did NOT need to know that!

"It was worth it!" Eren laughed.

Eren was amazed at how someone like Levi, with his emotionless face, could possibly make so many children laugh and be happy. How could he raise children to be loving adults such as Hannah, Henry and Claymore? Soldiers were scared to death of Levi, but the children all worshipped the ground he walked on. They all know him really well, so I guess they're just used to him. But, what about when they first meet him? Maybe they see that same something in his eyes that I've seen. In fact, I can see it there now. Sort of a contentment. And there's no mistaking the love whenever he looks at these kids. He's still pretty scary, though.

The rest of the day was spent with food, cake, music and games in celebration of Brian's eighth birthday. It was a wonderful break from titans and experiments and life in general. It was dark by the time they began the ride back to the castle.

"Captain Levi?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you for today. I know the only reason you brought me there was because I can't be more than thirty meters from you at any time, but . . . it still meant a lot to me. Especially this morning. I guess I'm not really the monster that I was so afraid of being. You trusted my not only with your own life, but you also trusted me around your children. So . . . thank you for proving to me that I'm not a monster."

to be continued…