A Crack Team of Professionals
Hey guys, I want to try something new. From here till the end of Part II, the chapters are going to be very strangely sized. In fact I am going to try and make them one major scene/event in size. I think it will increase drama; I was having trouble trying to fill/organize chapters to their normal lengths and maintain proper story flow.
Plus the characters just keep dragging everythign out, damn them! This whole chapter is nearly a huge banter between them ;)
Well anyway, this one is going to be a shorty ;)
...
Aegis had quite the gamut of elves wanting to talk to her the evening they arrived at the Friendly Arm. She discussed Imoen's fluctuating stormcloud with Xan for a few minutes, told Jaheira and Khalid she'd get to them, and then bought herself an ale and then left to walk the grounds with Kivan for an hour. Xzar watched the two of them leave curiously; it was common for Aegis collect and defend quite a wide variety of friends, but her disinterest in writing home to Candlekeep suggested she did not form close emotional bonds with many people. And elves were, well, elves.
Death's an old friend to some, I suppose, the necromancer considered. He glanced briefly at Imoen, who was stirring her food about her plate without eating. Hmm.
"I trust you are using some form of contraceptive, wizard?" Jaheira asked, coming over to sit at the same table. Xzar blinked at the abrupt introduction of such a topic. Then he got a far-off look as he considered introducing a litter of blonde, green-eyed offspring with ebony skeletons to a Not-So-Very-Dead Harper.
"Would they have souls?" he asked the air, which was nonsense to anyone who heard it. "Well a multitude might prove a suitable distraction from myself..." Then it occurred to Xzar that he was contemplating his own hypothetical offspring, and that left him so staggered that his jaw fell open.
Jaheira sighed and waved away the question. "Everyone? We need to go over the planning phase again. Perhaps the walk has given us some ideas." Xan had returned and he nodded whilst taking his seat. Minsc sighed dramatically and threw up his arms.
"Less talk, more fight!" the barbarian insisted. "If we be adventurers, let us adventure!" Dynaheir pat his arm and counciled him to patience. "But the evil wizards are still out there! Don't worry Fiesty One, no one will harm Minsc's witch while ranger and hamster are at your side! So do not go very far, yes? Hmm." He rubbed his chin thoughtfully, inspected her chair, and then pulled it closer to himself.
"We have only so many tactics," the enchanter noted. "But we are going up against hopeless numerical odds. Thus far I have not heard something that would lead me to assume we are anything other than doomed."
"No, do not despair!" Minsc insisted. "I will inspire you all by charging blindly on! The evil men have some safety in numbers, that's true, but I am two or three at least!"
"Er, that would be foolish," Ajantis told him, "But we are not doomed. If it came to that, I would ensure the rest of the party retreated safely."
"THE RABBITS CAN'T HAVE THEM!" Xzar shrieked abruptly, and he flailed so hard that he knocked his chair out from under him and fell with an 'oof!' out of view. Dynaheir leaned over to have a look.
"Feeling more and more doomed by the second?" Branwen teased her elf, glad to be distracted from the sad sight of Imoen's plate.
Xan was covering his face and shaking his head back and forward. "Is it sad that Xzar's was the only outburst that sounded sane to me?" he asked her quietly. Branwen snickered.
A moment later, the necromancer's hand appeared over the lip of the table and placed Pretzels gingerly down. Then he got an elbow up over the side and hauled himself to his feet. "Ahem. Many apologies," he cleared his throat, righting his chair. He sat into it and dusted himself off. "Now! The plan! Ideas! I have ideas; may I share them?"
Jaheira rubbed her temple. Khalid smiled tenderly at her and then turned a tolerant expression on Xzar. "Of c-course. T-though f-first perhaps we should agree to a t-truce, eh? B-both in terms of serious violence and in terms of simple verbal s-sparring?"
"It is agreed to," Xzar told him with a haughty wave. "Now, I was talking to Garrick in Baldur's Gate and I think we managed to stumble upon an elegant solution."
There was a sudden, abrupt silence from his audience. "Say what again?" Imoen exclaimed, perking up from where she'd been moping and poking at her tarts with a fork.
"I didn't say 'what' a first time," Xzar was protesting. "Unless you meant for me to say 'what again' in which case, there, I have done so." Minsc's eyes crossed slightly, having physically failed to track this particular turn of the conversation. Jaheira schooled herself to patience.
"Who were you talking to in Baldur's Gate at the start of this story?" Imoen clarified.
Xzar blinked at Imoen and then shrunk back from her as if disturbed. "Gar-rick. The bard? Ew! Don't touch me! By the Three, what sort of malicious philanderer are you!? The poor lad, I should be offended on his behalf; was he really so unmemorable?"
It was Imoen's turn to gape, her jaw slowly easing open and her eyes shuttering as she stared at Xzar in disbelief. Viconia lifted a brow. "Who?" she asked. Ajantis winced at the drow, thought something along the lines of: Reason 328 why you and I should not sleep together.
Xan coughed politely. "I believe Imoen was merely conveying surprise that you did not eat Garrick and take his eyes," he explained diplomatically, "as opposed to expressing confusion over his identity." Ajantis twitched.
"Oh?" Xzar blinked, straightening up and tapping his chin thoughtfully. "Oh how strange, he was worried I'd try much the same thing. I wonder why? It's not like there's any dust in his blood. Well, anyway, after I had assured him of my innocuous intentions, I told him I would be heading south and outlined the group's predicament in case he had any insight."
"And?" Imoen croaked, wondering if they ought to go get Urso for another analysis of their necromancer.
"He suggested we do things..." Xzar took a long pause and then lifted his hands as if to frame the word: "... dramatically."
"And... and that means...?" Imoen prompted, but then someone leaned over their table and interrupted their conversation.
Shar-Teel scowled and muttered, "Ugh, not you again." The man, who most of them did not recognize, stole Imoen's wine and took an inquisitive sip.
"It means," said the man, who was lean and handsome with long black hair and a languid smirk, "that you pick your actions carefully... and spell out a scarier picture than the reality."
"What? Oh! Hi Eldoth!" Imoen chuckled, snatching at her wine. "Give that back, you lecherous womanizer, you can have nothing of mine! I thought you were going to Baldur's Gate?"
The man, Eldoth, gave an annoyed shrug and held on to the glass a moment before relinquishing it to her persistent tug. "Lecherous? Womanizer? Don't don't flatter me, girl. I suppose could try to talk my way through the wall of bandits swarming the road... But then I'd like to keep most of my purse intact on arrival, you see."
"W-who is your friend?" Khalid asked politely, but Xan made a prohibitory gesture to cut him off. It was Xan's professional opinion that The Occasional Bar-Hopping Adventures of Imoen and Shar-Teel were probably best kept to the sort of grease-soaked paperbacks that one could purchase in seedy alleyways; and certainly not fit for dinner-time conversations or war council meetings. The two women had been rooming together ever since Edwin's departure, and that had apparently led them to bond in other ways on occasion.
"This is Eldoth. He seduces women for money," Imoen introduced with a mischievous grin.
"Oh that's such a crass way of putting it," the man pouted wryly. "I liberate woman from their dreary lives and the world just deems fit to reimburse me and fine their previous captors."
"Suuureee," she rolled her eyes and winked.
"Always such a rude little clit, and yet always so charming," he teased, pinching her cheek. "Well I have a previous engagement this evening; but I wanted to let you know that I've kept my ears open; and I think a recent fling of yours might in fact be a bandit recruiter. He showed up shortly before you and is staying on the third floor... Tevran, was his name? Well, anyway, I thought your menfolk might be able to make use of the information; do tweak them into clearing the roads soon, mm?"
Jaheira's eyes narrowed. "You have sat on this information and yet done nothing? What proof have we that this is not some trap? If you want the roads cleared then you should be offering to do so yourself.
The man raised his brows and then shook his head, making a disappointed and patronizing tutting sound at the roof of his mouth. "Another woman with more words than winsomeness," he sighed. "Let us put it this way, wild madam: I know my limits... Better a coward than a dead man." Then, with a wink at Shar-Teel that nearly set the woman to foaming, he turned and strolled humming back off into the crowd.
A brief silence passed over the party when he had left.
"Well," was all Jaheira said, and such was the druid's skill at dissapproval that the solitary syllable was nearly enough on its lonesome to summarize the entire party's feelings.
"Can I eat him?" Xzar inquired anyway, given the previous topic of conversation.
"I'll get you a bib," Xan agreed, his eyelashes fluttering as he cast out his mind magic.
"You want him fried or boiled?" Shar-Teel asked, sharpening her dagger. "Diced or shredded?"
"No one is eating anyone!" Ajantis finally exploded. "Why can we not just propose a duel or glare disapprovingly like civilized people!? Why must we resort to this barbaric and unsavory banter!?" Viconia laughed and then pat his arm to hush him.
"The shiny friend is right; that would be much too much food for one person," Minsc agreed sagely. "And no one is dead yet, anyway. And we are not currently starving in the middle of winter." Dynaheir covered her face.
"Or on a boat lost at see," Branwen agreed over a porkchop.
"It's well enough anyway, I really have no intention of eating anyone," Xzar agreed. "It's not as thrilling as its cut out to be."
Xan sighed at all these marvelous mental images. "Yes. Well. Imoen, Shar-Teel... as I brace my stomach and heart in preparation, please tell me how you know that man, 'Eldoth.' Should his information be trustworthy? I am not sensing anything amiss with him. Dirty, but, well, not amiss..."
"With Eldoth? Pfft. I know like ten people in here who aren't us," Imoen laughed. "I run around all day with no supervision, bothering people and stealing things, and then spend my evenings drinking all over town and flirting with strangers... and you are somehow surprised I know a whole bunch of random people? And Shar-Teel's been around longer than I have!"
Xan considered this information, which actually told him nothing. Shar-Teel rolled her eyes, still sharpening her dagger. "She didn't boff Eldoth if that's what you're asking." The elf deflated, considerably relieved. "Anyway, the way he tells the story, the bitch-man has Duke Entar's girl practically seduced into 'eloping' with him. He's more blackmail than banditry. Doubt he's got the balls to even deal with such 'ruffians,' the spoiled little city slicker... Mind you, this dagger still has a date with ass; needs to teach him a few lessons about 'thrusting', and the 'fairer sex,' eh?"
As much as Ajantis and Xan might have despised one another, the sum of their mutual enmity could not come close to the sheer revulsion and horror each felt for Shar-Teel. At this vulgar imagry, both of them turned a little green. Viconia looked between the two of them and then broke out laughing. "Boys, boys, calm down; she's not going to eat you."
"I don't know, I could enjoy eating one or two..." Shar-Teel considered, leaning across the table with a leer at both men. "Or enjoy being eaten by one or two..."
The vernacular required for understanding the second part of her jab went straight over Ajantis's head, but seeing Xan's reaction he recoiled anyway. Branwen gave the fightress one hell of a nasty eyeball, easing her arm around Xan's midsection in a way even the simplest of barbarian thugs could translate into: me have big club, you no touch. As for Ajantis, Viconia rolled her eyes, stood up, shimmied over to the startled paladin, and promptly sat on the man's knee. Ajantis went tomato red.
Shar-Teel lifted a brow. Viconia smiled sweetly. Ajantis looked tightly from woman to woman. Then a sudden realization dawned over him, and he hesitantly slipped an arm around Viconia's waist and hugged her close. Imoen covered her mouth to keep from breaking out laughing; then a pang struck her as she remembered Edwin and Alora.
Shar-Teel scowled. "Fine, fine," she muttered. "I'll dig fun up somewhere else." She gave a dramatic eye-roll and with a, "Babies," she got up and stomped off. Ajantis held his breath until she was gone and then let out a shaky gasp. Viconia turned and grinned wolfishly at him, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Well done!" the drow approved heartily. "I was really worried you wouldn't get it!"
Ajantis patted her arm, absolutely relieved. "You can stay there if it pleases you," he said with a shudder. "Ugh. At least until she is no longer in- in- in heat!" Viconia broke out cackling, as this seemed an apt description of the difference between when Shar-Teel was feeling peckish and when Shar-Teel was simply pugnacious.
"Well I'll make myself comfortable, then. Xan, have you survived or was that a seizure I witnessed?" Viconia asked with a grin.
The elf gave a very heavy sigh. "Let's just pray she was joking," he mumbled miserably. Branwen was looking mighty displeased. "Where were we?"
"A bandit upstairs," Dynaheir reminded him. "Whom was referred to as a recent 'fling' of Imoen's."
"I will totally do the nice-officer, mean-officer routine with Shar-Teel later on Tevren," Imoen grinned, trying to push away memories of rescuing a man from unsolicited feminine advances. "Once she's no longer 'in heat', heehee! Only we should totally bring Xan. Then it's the nice officer, mean officer, mindflayer officer. Terrifying and effective!"
Xan winced, explained the term 'mindflayer' to a confused Viconia, and then both surface and underdark elves sternly informed Imoen that Illithids were no laughing matter!
"Then," Jaheira tried to keep the conversation on track, "we were at 'Dramatically.'"
"Yes," Xzar agreed, "Dramatically."
"W-which m-means?" Khalid asked, disturbed by some of the avenues that conversation had gone down; but then Imoen's new 'habit' had come up in previous conversations already.
Xan cleared his throat. "Xzar is proposing that we pick our spells and strategy to convey something extraordinary. Like, say, we could conjure an illusion of a dragon; and each time it moved to 'strafe' the camp, we could have a wizard throw out a fear spell and another throw out a fireball."
Xzar beamed. "Yes! Exactly! But there is more: we could also use clothing, battle cries, and what have you to finish the image. We weave a bigger tale than we have. And given your experience in Ulcaster and the rumors that The Woods of Sharp Teeth are haunted... I think we might be able to construct quite the story."
"This could work," Jaheira considered, scratching her cheek. "Which makes me concerned, as it came from a madman known for flinging unidentifiable-"
Xzar cleared his throat loudly and eyed her. Khalid tapped her shoulder. "We have a t-truce, dear."
Jaheira straightened. "I still find your change in demeanor strange," she noted in a more neutral tone. Xzar shrugged slightly.
"You no more than I," he confessed. "Though surely by now everyone has seen I find myself progressively... calmer the more time I spend with Aegis. I so appreciated the development that I spent nearly every moment I was gone trying to figure out how I was supposed to get back here."
Jaheira eyed him strangely. Xzar lifted a brow.
"What? Why does everyone seem to find it so incredibly strange that I could miss a woman? I am a man, after all. I am only human; and scarcely much older than thirty, if my count is right." Imoen's gaze drifted off to nothing, and she frowned slightly. "Well anyway, let us turn back to the plan: I believe we can divide the work into sub goals. Firstly, we want to disperse the vast majority of undisciplined fodder troops such as new recruits, opportunists, and wandering thugs.
"Secondly, we want to severely dishearten and disrupt the Chill and Black Talons to make disposing of both groups simpler. Thirdly, we wish to deal with the camp's elite members and leadership. And fourthly, we wish to leave such a resounding impression that we prevent the reforming of the bandit camp elsewhere soon afterward. Well there is the fifth task of securing some information; but I presume we'll work that out once we're not pitted against untold dozens of adversaries..."
...
Dynaheir watched Imoen as the party rapidly iterated upon its core plan, spinning it into some simple and elegant with a surprising attention to detail. Xan was taking notes on paper so that they could be sure later on that each individual player would have a specific and personalized role. At times, Imoen contributed; but more than often she stared down bleakly at her food and stirred it in circles.
Imoen knew Dynaheir was watching her; it made her uncomfortable, but she was glad the witch said nothing. She was thinking about Montaron. If she concentrated, she could feel his mouth against hers. But his last advice to her rang in her ears: "You're worth the world; Find yourself someone who can remember that when it counts." The fact that he hadn't asked for a second chance weighed heavily on her heart. It meant he cared; but he honestly didn't trust himself not to hurt her again. And again. And again and again and again.
She rubbed her brow and then blinked. All of a sudden Dynaheir and Xan both stiffened. A moment later, and all three wizards found themselves subject to a projected message from High Hedge. Thalantyr's voice came across tired and victorious: 'I have finished writing the ritual. If you wish to attend, arrive within forty-eight hours as I rest for the casting. I will not delay further.'
"Melicamp!" Imoen exclaimed loudly, causing several non-wizards plus Xzar to nearly fall out of their chairs. "I forgot!"
"What now?" Jaheira asked.
Dynaheir and Xan shared pained looks. "We can't go now," The Wylaran lamented. "Such a singular casting! And to miss it, all over this..."
"We could use some additional last minute supplies from Thalantyr," Xan noted. "Spell components, a few scrolls to cast if we run out of power... and there is still that second Archmagi Robe."
"It is in the complete opposite direction," Dynaheir disagreed. "And we would have to uproot the whole party. It can't be done. It shouldn't be done; not even for our curiosity."
"Oh no!" Imoen exclaimed under her breath. "I promised Melicamp I'd be there!"
"It's Thalantyr, of High Hedge," Xan explained to the others. "He's going to try and reverse a curse laid on his apprentice by a Netherese artifact, and he invited all of us to come witness it."
"Well," Aegis said, and they looked up to see she had just returned with Kivan in toe. The elf stood very close to her and Xzar raised a brow, glancing between them. "We can't send the whole party. But maybe this will let us hit two birds with one stone."
"Are you sure Red is your favorite color?" Xzar asked. Aegis blinked and looked back at Kivan, who blinked in confusion. The ranger woman let out a short chuckle.
"Apparently I like green," she agreed, winking at her necromancer and then looking back to Imoen. "Hey Bubbles," she began, "can we talk right now?"
The thief's face screwed up and then she looked uncomfortably down at her wine. "Er, yeah." She stood up and pushed her chair out of the way. Xan asked if he could accompany them, and when Imoen didn't protest the three of them headed upstairs. Jaheira sighed and headed up to the bar, muttering something about needing more wine. Xzar waited a moment and then began excusing himself.
"G-going somewhere?" Khalid asked.
"Same place as your wife, I'd wager," the necromancer jerked a thumb at the inn staircase. "Coming to listen in on sister's hearing with us?"
..
"Imoen?" Aegis began. "We would like to propose you consider sitting out until the whole thing with the Red Wizards has passed."
"What!?" The pink girl jumped. "Wait, you mean stay behind?! No! NO way! Uh-uh, no how, nadda! I'm not leaving you! Not for a second, you're stuck with me Aegy!"
Xan lifted his hands placatingly. "She didn't say: we want to propose you sit out. She said: we want to propose you consider sitting out."
Imoen's brows drew together. "Um, there's a difference?"
"Yes," Aegis agreed. "There's a difference. In one, you would have to decide right now what you want to do. In the other, you and Kivan will make a quick trip to High Hedge under cover of stealth, and in the process you will get some time 'alone,' assuming you can overlook the nearly mute ranger, to try and clear your head and decide what you want to do. If you decide to sit out, then you stay at High Hedge until we're done."
"Well... well, I mean... well, okay, I'd like to see the ritual and I could totally make it to High Hedge, but Aegy, I'm not leaving you!" Imoen insisted, thinking worriedly of Montaron's words. How could they possibly think she'd be alright with being left behind, worrying about them?
"You're a wreck," the older sister said bluntly. Imoen's jaw dropped. "What? You are. Did you see your plate, sis? That wasn't a healthy Winthrop appetite; that was like what Xzar would do to his food before he met me."
Outside of the room, where quite a crowd of family had gathered to eavesdrop under Kivan's disapproving glower, Xzar repressed a snicker. Jaheira made an angry 'hush!' gesture at him.
"Look, I am upset. Really upset. But you're my family and the most important person to me in the world," Imoen told Aegis. "And wherever you go, I go. So there! You can't just leave me somewhere, bawling my eyes out with worry as you do all the adventuring."
"Right. So, imagine this: There's a massive fight going on. People are being rooted and hit by lightning. There are spells exploding everywhere. Suddenly you see through a dispersed fog spell; Dyn and Edwin are both casting and out of defenses. It will be a close call; each is a hairbreadth away from killing or being killed by the other. Hell, if you don't dive in, they may both kill each other! Do you dive in? Whose shot are you going to block?"
Imoen's eyes widened. "I- I... Dyn didn't do anything wrong. Not really. Not really, she isn't..."
"Aye. And no matter what happens: whether you act, or don't act; freeze in place, do the right thing, or do the wrong thing... you will still end up crying over the body, hating yourself because you weren't able to pull off a miracle. And most likely, it is going to be Edwin's."
"Stop," Imoen pleaded, sinking into a chair chair and closing her eyes. "Stop. I get it."
Aegis stood over her, a sympathetic expression on her face. "I know more than anyone what you are going through because I lie awake at night afraid one day I'll be in the same position," the older girl told her and, on the other side of the door, Xzar recoiled in surprise. "And if it were me, I'd probably insist on being there even if I were a danger to the party. But for you..."
"Imoen," Xan murmured his interruption. "After a very substantial fight, Mulahey Dominated my fellow Graycloak with clerical magic. It is how I was captured. I couldn't... I couldn't raise my blade against my bosom friend. And I... I was out of spells, out of magic.. I couldn't... I couldn't help him. I couldn't dispel it. He died anyway because of my weakness; but the choices I made that day were the hardest and most confusing I've ever made."
The girl looked up at him slowly. The elf was watching her gently, with a deep sadness in his eyes.
""You'll never be exactly prepared... but at least you can have a little longer to think on the consequences of each action... and what you can bear to carry on your heart. What each gesture means to you."
Imoen winced and looked away. "Thank you, but there's no decision to make," the pink girl told them. "I'd never leave you, Ae. Even if it means... even if it means making the hard decision to let go of... of people who never cared in the first place."
The ranger was quiet a moment. "That idiot cared." Imoen looked up at her. "Would be easy if he didn't, eh? But that's what makes this difficult: the gray edges. At least a clean and proper betrayal would have made it obvious exactly who to hate and why."
Imoen looked at the ground.
"We're also asking this as a sort of favor favor..." Xan admitted. "Kivan might try to suicide after killing Tazok. It's good for him to interact with people right now. There's no obligation for you to remain at High Hedge. Though if you do, its the safest place you can be."
