It was only after the wall had sealed up and imprisoned the two girls that it occurred to Ty Lee how horrible this must be for Azula. She'd forgotten, in her own fear, how terrified the princess must be. Hadn't she spent weeks locked up here, and been tortured in this very room? Ty Lee stopped wringing her hands and turned toward her lover to ask about it.
The question died on her lips as her eyes fell on Azula's face. The girl was standing there, rigid, her eyes flicking around the cell like those of a trapped animal. Her face had gone as white as a sheet. There was something distant in the shifting amber gaze, as if Azula wasn't really aware of Ty Lee's presence anymore. The acrobat felt sick. Was the princess going to crumble into psychosis again? She'd seemed so strong, so confident…
No. No, I won't let that happen! Ty Lee shook herself and gathered her courage. Come on – she needs you. She reached up gentle hands to cup her lover's face. "Azula?" The princess snarled and jerked away, her fists rising up. Ty Lee flinched, but didn't move. "Are you okay?" the little acrobat whispered. "You're as white as a sheet, and you're shaking. – 'Zula?"
The princess stared at her. She didn't move, not even to drop her upraised fists. Ty Lee couldn't quite tell if she recognized her or not. The crimson lips parted, quivered. "I…"
"It's okay." Now it was Ty Lee's turn to comfort. She took Azula's hands gently by the wrists and pulled them down. "It's all right, 'Zula. Of course you're upset. This wasn't a happy place for you, was it?" she murmured, as if she were talking to a child. "Come here. Let's go in this corner, away from that awful cage. Come on." She drew the princess down until they were sitting side by side, and then pulled her into her arms. Azula's body was still tense, but she didn't move away. The acrobat cradled her princess against her breast and murmured softly.
Finally, she could feel Azula's muscles relaxing. Ty Lee was so relieved that she almost lost the thread of the story she was telling; she turned her attention back to her own words. "Oh, and what I was thinking when we escaped together. I don't think I ever really told you about that." She kissed Azula's cheek and stroked her hair gently. "I guess it was kind of dumb to take you out in that little boat when I didn't know what I was doing, but I couldn't think of any other place we'd be safer than Ember Island, and I figured we'd be seen if we took the ferry. I held you all night, did you know that? I sat in the bottom of the rowboat and I held you in my arms. And do you know I still didn't even realize I was in love with you yet?" Another kiss. "I knew that I loved you, of course. I've always known that. Just not that I was in love."
The body in her arms shifted, and amber eyes peered at her. "You're such a mushball," Azula mumbled, her mouth curving upward just a bit.
"Grouch." A wavering smile spread over Ty Lee's face. She peered into Azula's eyes. "Are you okay now?" she asked softly, and brushed her knuckles over the brow of her princess.
"I'll be all right." The little acrobat could see Azula trying to pull herself together. There was still a dull, lingering horror lurking behind the facade. "I'm sorry," the princess said quietly, in something more like her normal voice. "I don't know what came over me."
"Don't be silly. There's nothing to be sorry for." Ty Lee cuddled her defiantly. "Prison was horrible for you. And the last time you were here, they were whipping you. Of course you got scared."
The princess closed her eyes. "Perhaps. But I should have better control of –"
"Stop it." The little acrobat's voice was gentle. "You don't have to apologize to me for being human, 'Zula."
Azula's breathing hitched. "It's just…there were a lot of…things…here."
Somehow, Ty Lee knew that she was referring more to nightmares and hallucinations than to the things that had actually happened. She wondered, briefly, just what kinds of horrible visions had tortured her lover then. Azula had never commented on that, not even in passing. "I know." Ty Lee kissed her cheek. "I'm here. It's okay." Azula's body relaxed more. She let herself slump into Ty Lee and rested her head in the crook of an accommodating shoulder. "It's okay," Ty Lee murmured again, touched at the girl's unusual vulnerability. "I won't let go."
Here, in this place, those words seemed to resonate more than usual. Ty Lee felt Azula shudder. The former firebender's mouth worked, as if she were waging some kind of an internal battle. Ty Lee recognized the look – her princess was trying to find words for something she felt deeply. The little acrobat smiled to herself. She'd always found Azula's social awkwardness strangely endearing. Back when the girl had been the powerful Crown Princess, it had been one of the few signs of humanity she'd shown. Ty Lee kept stroking Azula's hair and waited patiently. At last, the princess managed to speak. "Thank you." Her voice was hoarse.
Despite how inadequate the words were, Ty Lee understood them. The acrobat's gray eyes softened and glowed with tenderness. "You're welcome," she said softly, and kissed her again. "I love you, too." The words seemed to give Azula strength. Ty Lee felt her breathe deeply a few times, and then sit up – her amber eyes turned to the cage on the other side of the cell.
It was there, just as they both remembered it. Azula gently disengaged Ty Lee's comforting arms and rose to her feet. There was silence as the princess moved to the bars. Ty Lee watched as she reached out and touched them. Slowly, Azula stepped inside. Then she turned around, sat down on the floor of the cage, and looked at Ty Lee through the bars. What's she thinking about? Ty Lee wondered. Is she trying to remember what it felt like to be as sick as she was? She couldn't help but think that wouldn't be a good idea. The little acrobat bit her lips and extended her hand toward the princess. "Come out, 'Zula," she said. "I don't like to see you in there."
"Neither do I." Azula made no move to get up. Instead, she picked up one of the sets of shackles on the floor and laid it in her own lap to study it. Ty Lee thought they were the ones that had once bound her wrists. Azula's hawk eyes traced the metal slowly, pensively. "It wasn't all that long ago, was it, Ty?"
"No. I guess it really wasn't," Ty Lee agreed. "But a lot's happened since then."
That was true. The acrobat thought about their desperate flight from Ember Island, and then the long, cold weeks of hiding out in the wilderness near Gaoling. Ty Lee had been tortured, and Azula had nearly lost her mind again. Zuko had condemned Azula to death, and she'd been more than half hanged before Mai had suddenly rescued her, for reasons Ty Lee had yet to really understand. Then had come their sentence of exile in Ba Sing Se, and the weeks of trying to survive there, followed by the twists of fate that had brought them here…it was hard to believe all that had happened in less than seven months.
"I know what you mean," Azula murmured, breaking into Ty Lee's thoughts. "I feel about ten years older than I was."
"Well, you don't look it." Ty Lee was smiling, but she still felt troubled. She reached out her hand again. "Please come out, baby." Her own words surprised her for a moment. Baby. I can't remember the last time I called her that. Azula smiled a bit, despite the fact that she'd always been mildly exasperated by Ty Lee's pet name for her. She got up and returned to where the little acrobat was sitting. Relieved, Ty Lee cuddled her back into her protective arms. "You don't have to be in that awful place," she whispered. "You're not like that anymore."
Her lover sighed. Ty Lee felt Azula's hands grip her arms. "I know."
"Do you?" the gymnast asked softly, peering down into the girl's face. "Do you really know that, 'Zula?"
Azula's grip tightened, and she met Ty Lee's gaze squarely. The haunted look had faded; there was a deep serenity in the amber eyes that Ty Lee couldn't remember having seen there before. "Yes," Azula said quietly. "I do, now." She lifted one white hand and laid it against Ty Lee's cheek.
A grinding sound heralded the arrival of their guards. The stone wall opened again, and several servants entered, bearing armfuls of bedding and trays of food. The guards watched impassively as these things were quickly set up; then the servants left. One of the soldiers paused as they turned to go. "Is there anything else you need, Princess?" he asked.
As Ty Lee watched, Azula rose to her feet, stalked to the covered trays, and began lifting lids to inspect their contents. Her heart swelled with pride at how dignified and regal the girl looked. That's my princess. Azula calmly sniffed the contents of a decanter, frowned, and looked at him. "Do I look like a commoner to you?" she said coldly. He stared at her, startled. Azula tapped the decanter with the tip of a long finger. "This isn't proper sake. I wouldn't even sully my servant's table with it," she growled. "Unacceptable!"
The soldier gulped and took it. "I will fetch you a better bottle, Your Highness."
"I did not dismiss you." Azula's icy voice arrested his movement. The guard's eyes turned back to her as he hastily stood at attention. She moved to Ty Lee's side; the little acrobat felt her hand rest on her shoulder and squeeze gently. "My consort favors sweets and fresh fruit," she said calmly, then paused. "I'm sorry, what was your name?"
He looked stricken. "Er…Captain Jahaz, Princess."
"Good, good. Excellent. Jahaz." Azula's tone was both light and merciless. "As I was saying, my consort favors sweets and fresh fruit. You bring her something that pleases her, in addition to a suitable sake, and perhaps I'll forget your little…indiscretion." She flicked her fingers dismissively.
The man saluted. "At once, Your Highness." Then he fairly fled from the cell. The wall closed behind him.
Ty Lee slipped her arms around Azula's legs and cuddled them delightedly. "Feeling better, huh?" she asked, with a cheeky grin.
The princess smiled down at her. There was a definite spark of mischief in her golden eyes. "Well, we can't just let everyone feel all comfortable about us, now, can we? That would just be boring." She reached down to run her fingers idly through Ty Lee's brown hair. "Let's eat. I have a feeling that I'll need my strength later, once I've come back from the Spirit World."
This took the wind out of Ty Lee's sails. Her heart sank. "You're…you're still going?" she faltered as she released her grip. "Even after…I mean, I'd kind of hoped…" Her voice trailed off under Azula's quiet stare. Ty Lee hung her head.
"Nothing's changed," the princess said. "I still have to go." There was silence for a while. Then Azula's slim hand patted Ty Lee lightly on the shoulder. "Come on. Let's eat."
The food was excellent. There was turtleduck soup, and roasted hamsterchicken with crispy skin, and fluffy rice with a sweet sauce. Everything had that perfect Fire Nation spiciness that left a pleasant heat on Ty Lee's tongue. She began to feel a little better. She felt better still once the guard returned with the sake and a tray containing a wide assortment of cut fruit and little candies. The two girls reclined together on their makeshift bed and sipped their rice wine. Every now and then, Azula would feed the acrobat one of the sweet tidbits from their dessert tray. It was good. Ty Lee sighed with contentment and laid her head down on Azula's breast. Maybe everything will be all right, she thought hopefully.
Evening fell. Since they had no lamps inside the cell, it grew very dark; there was only the faint glimmer of the stars through the narrow windows that lined the walls. Ty Lee needed no light. She lay against her princess and closed her eyes.
After a while, Azula shifted and cleared her throat. "You have to let go now, Ty," she said gently. "I'll need to meditate to go back to the Spirit World."
A lump rose in Ty Lee's throat. She clung to her lover's body. "No." Then, as Azula inhaled to speak again, "Please, 'Zula. I know you said I can't go with you, and I guess I can't. But I don't want to just sit here alone in the dark, not knowing if you'll die or not! Please, 'Zula, let me hold you while you go. Let me…I…I just want to feel like I'm doing something," she pleaded.
There was silence for a few moments. "Okay." Azula's voice was husky. "But you have to promise to be really quiet and not move until I've left my body, all right?"
"I promise." Ty Lee lay back on the pillows and pulled Azula up into her arms, until the princess was lying mostly on top of her, with her black head pillowed against her collarbone. Azula began to breathe deeply. There was a pause. "Azula?" the acrobat whispered.
"What?" There was a hint of annoyance in the former firebender's tone.
"I'm sorry," Ty Lee said humbly. "I promise I won't talk anymore after this. I just wondered…do you think that Agni's really real?" There was puzzled silence in response. "I mean," the gymnast went on softly, "do you think that praying to him would do any good?"
"Oh." Azula was silence for a second or two. "I don't know, Ty Lee. I've never done it. It couldn't hurt, I guess."
"Then that's what I'll do." Ty Lee lay back again and consciously stilled her body. "I'll be quiet now, 'Zula. I promise." She felt Azula relax, and the deep, rhythmic breathing commenced again. Ty Lee lay and counted Azula's breaths and stared up into the darkness. Then she felt a sudden shift in her lover's energy. Instinctively, Ty Lee looked down and focused on the girl's aura.
The light of it was radiant, as it almost always was, and shot through with white and purple and hints of gold. She could see it glowing gently, mixing with her own pinkish aura where their bodies touched. Then, as Ty Lee watched, it moved – shifted, rose up, and drifted away from her. She stared in amazement. There was Azula's body, still in her arms, but there was only a faint, whitish glow left around it. "Azula?" Ty Lee whispered, her eyes growing large and round as she stared at the disembodied aura in front of her.
There was a response. Now she could see that the aura was still in a roughly human shape. It turned toward her. She had the impression of Azula's smile as it approached. A ghostly hand touched Ty Lee's cheek – phantom lips brushed hers – and then the vision melted away. Azula was gone.
Tears welled up in Ty Lee's eyes as she looked down at Azula's body, still clasped firmly in her arms. Although she still felt warm, and her heart was beating, Azula herself wasn't there anymore. There was only that faint glow of physical life left. The spirit of her lover had vanished, gone to wherever the Spirit World was – to wherever the terrible spirits of the dragons waited. Ty Lee shut her eyes and cried softly as she cuddled her lover's form to her breast. She hadn't felt so helpless since she'd watched them preparing Azula for her execution. "Oh, please," she whispered, her words shattering the cell's stillness like glass. "Please, Agni, bring her back to me safe!"
