This is a follow-up of 'Love Potion', but is set a few years later.

Val's 17


Peg Muldoon looked at the bottle that was in her hands. At last. She had finally found it. She'd finally found the love potion made by Professor Grouse two years ago. And now she had it- and she could use it. And who would she use it on?

Skulduggery Pleasant.


Peg strolled confidently through the Sanctuary, radiating authority. Her head scraped against the high ceiling and her arms bashed the walls painfully, but she didn't mind. She was determined.

Mages ran out of her path, not wanting to be run over by the goblin, and hurried off in the opposite direction. Peg smiled a yellow smile.

She approached the Grand Mage's office, and kicked down the door. She sauntered in.

Erskine Ravel looked up from the paperwork he was working on, as did Ghastly, who was in there with him. They gasped.

"Uh... Skul?" said Ghastly. Skulduggery and Valkyrie walked over from the bookcase they were trying to build for Erskine in the corner of his office. They saw Peg. All four of them stared at her.

"I back, Skuluggi!" Peg growled menacingly. "An I still uv oo."

Before Skulduggery could react, Peg walked up to him. She pulled the bottle of love potion out of her clothes, and sprayed it on Skulduggery.

Valkyrie and Ghastly shared a knowing look. Valkyrie turned to Erskine, who looked confused. Was she trying to make him smell nicer? he wondered. Valkyrie made a heart shape with her fingers, and mouthed 'Love potion'. Immediately, Erskine understood, and fought to hold back laughter.

Skulduggery looked at Peg. He gazed into her eyes. "Oh, Peg," he murmured. "Peg, I love you."

Peg clapped her hands in delight. "Will oo mawwy me?" she asked.

Skulduggery tilted his head in a smile. "Of course. In fact, let's get married right now! Erskine, you have the power to be the priest, so let's go!"

Skulduggery took Peg's hand, and they ran out of the office together.

Valkyrie, Ghastly and Erskine looked at each other, and burst out laughing.


An hour later, the five of them were gathered on top of a large hill in rural Dublin, ready for Skulduggery and Peg's wedding. Valkyrie had her phone ready and waiting to record. She was not going to miss a single moment of this. Erskine's arm was red from where he had repeatedly pinched himself, not ready to believe that this wasn't a dream. This was too good to be true! And Ghastly was showing his friend true support, by setting up a video call on the Global Link, so this event could be broadcasted to everyone else around the world.

Skulduggery and Peg walked up to Erskine together, and held hands, already wearing their wedding rings. Valkyrie was the bridesmaid, and Ghastly was the best man, although both were laughing too much to do their job properly. Erskine began to read from a bit of paper he was holding.

"We are gathered here today to witness the marriage of Skulduggery Pleasant and Peg Muldoon." He was trying very hard not to laugh.

"Blah blah blah, skip a few lines, Skulduggery, do you take this... woman... to be your awful wedded wife?"

"I most certainly do," Skulduggery purred to Peg. Valkyrie hooted with laughter, Ghastly laughed so hard it was silent, and Erskine collapsed on the grass, clutching his stomach, which was aching from laughing too hard.

"Peg... do you... take him... as your husband?" he wheezed to Peg.

"Yes!" Peg yelled.

"Then without further ado," Erskine said, wiping tears from his eyes, "I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride!" He started laughing madly again, and then Skulduggery activated his facade, and leaned in to kiss Peg. She eagerly responded, and they passionately kissed each other for a good five minutes, while Valkyrie, Ghastly and Erskine laughed endlessly.


Skulduggery awoke early the next morning, the potion having worn off an hour ago. He was in a bed. He skeletally frowned to himself. He hadn't slept in a bed for centuries. What the hell had happened?

He turned over. He was face to face with Peg Muldoon, who was taking up most of the bed. They were both naked. And wearing wedding rings.

He quickly realised what had happened. He had married Peg. And... somehow gotten very close to her. Why? He didn't know. He didn't want to know. He spotted a camera in the corner of the room. Good God... had he made a sex tape?

He grabbed his belongings, which were strewn all around the room, and ran down the stairs of what he recognised to be his house. That means... he had been lying in Valkyrie's bed. Oh, she was not going to be happy when she found out.

He ran out of the front door. His Bentley wasn't there. Dammit! I must've left it at the Sanctuary! he realised.

He got out his phone, and texted Valkyrie; 'Valkyrie, I'm in trouble.'

He got a reply a few seconds later; 'Global Link. YOU NINNY! :D'.

He tilted his head, and went onto the Global Link via his phone. There was a video of... of him! He pressed a button, and his wedding video started playing.

Inwardly cringing, not being able to take more of the endless kissing, he scrolled down and saw the comments.

'Nice work, Skul. Always knew there was something about you two...' -Erskine Ravel, Grand Mage of Irish Sanctuary

'Congratulations Skul :P' -Ghastly Bespoke, Elder of Irish Sanctuary

'Ooh Skulduggery, you little dark horse!'- Illori Reticent, Elder of British Sanctuary

'Match made in heaven, Pleasant. Congratulations.'- Cothernus Ode, Grand Mage of British Sanctuary

'WHERE WAS MY INVITE?'- Palaver Graves, Elder of British Sanctuary.

'Awwww so sweet Skulduggery! Hope you enjoy many happy years together!'- Zafira Kerias, Grand Mage of American Sanctuary.

'I honestly did not see this coming... But, y'know, each to their own...'- Johann Starke, Elder of German Sanctuary

'Have a great wedding night, Skulduggery Pleasant ;)'- Dedrich Wahrheit, Grand Mage of German Sanctuary

'Sure you kissed for long enough(?)'- Madame Mist, Elder of Irish Sanctuary

Skulduggery scrolled down the page. There were hundreds, no- thousands of comments, from various significant magical figures all over the world. And the views... Holy crap- there were three and a half billion views. How the hell was he going to live this down?

Skulduggery Pleasant screamed into the night.