Chapter 53: Here's to Missing You

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"I swear to God if you kick me again, I'll break your damn nose," Benjy Fenwick hissed under his breath, his dark eyes locking hard onto Regulus'.

Regulus smirked at his irritated Potions partner and grabbed the near-by bottle of murtlap essence. "It was an accident, Fenwick. Don't be such a baby," the boy muttered as he carefully measured the liquid. "And I'd advise you to save your threats for someone who can't tear you apart."

"Oh, and you think you can?" the Gryffindor laughed. "You're like four foot tall, Black. You can't fucking touch me."

"I don't have to be tall to kick your ass."

And the argument escalated. What started as a few too many under-the-table foot bumps soon grew into a full on battle. The two boys swung their fists and well placed kicks at each other, both of them earning a fair amount of good hits, until Professor Slughorn finally gave up on his idle threats and threw up a shield spell to knock them apart. Regulus slammed into the edge of the table, causing a pouch of powdered moonstone to topple over and rain down onto him. He sputtered and gagged as part of the white dust sucked into his lungs.

Benjy groaned as he pulled himself off the floor and launched towards the fallen Slytherin. Regulus barely glimpsed the impending attack through his watering and raw eyes. The boy tried to blink away the moonstone and threw his hands up to shield himself, but the impact never came. Slughorn snapped the charging Gryffindor to attention with a simple flick of his wand.

"Detention for both of you," Professor Slughorn said as he straightened himself out. "And this partnership is done. You both need new work mates," he grumbled as he glanced around the room in search of volunteers to work with either boy.

"Professor," Regulus whispered as he got to his feet, still trying to blink away the harsh and painful sensation in his eyes. "Can I go to the -"

"Nurse? Yes, go," the man said with a wave of his hand. "I'll send you a notice for your detention."


Regulus frowned upon walking into the detention room. Despite preferring to write lines than polish metal for a punishment, he hated it when time was served in a group. The boy let his eyes wash over the numerous students collecting in the room, all choosing desks and getting out their parchments. He slipped quietly into the furthest most desk in the back corner of the room and prepared his space.

"Looks like a family reunion."

James Potter's voice called Regulus to attention. He looked up quickly to see his brother slip into the desk right in front of him and James the one beside that. "Go sit somewhere else," he whined, not wanting to deal with the other boy.

"Nope. I like this chair. You're in Jamesie's usual seat, but he doesn't mind; do ya, mate?"

"Not a bit."

"See, not a bit. What the hell are you doing in detention?" Sirius snagged the quill from his brother's hand to force the boy to look up at him. "I asked you a question."

"I got in a fight," Regulus answered, holding out his hand, expecting the return of his property. When his brother returned his quill, the Slytherin slouched back in his seat and smirked. "You in here for that stupid table stunt you pulled the other day? Why would you say something so stupid?"

Sirius gave a chuckle and shook his head. "We had a bet and I lost," he answered, pointing between James and himself. "But that detention is tomorrow. This is for...oh I forget. James what did we do to get this one?"

"Dungbombs in the teachers' lounge," James answered.

"That's right," Sirius laughed. "Oh that was fun."

"You guys get in a lot of trouble, don't you?" Regulus asked, looking between the boys. "Aren't you Head Boy?"

"School's almost over. I'm just having a few final laughs with my best mate is all. Not a big deal," James answered, narrowing his eyes at the younger boy.

"Who'd you fight with?" Sirius cut in.

"Fenwick."

"No way! Really; that was you? That's mental." Sirius clapped his brother on the shoulder and barked out a laugh. "I saw him; you really did some damage. You don't look too busted up," he said in a boastful tone as he grabbed Regulus chin and inspected the boy.

"Because he barely got in two good shots," Regulus said smugly, swatting the older boy's hand away.

Sirius smiled over at his brother and leaned casually against the desk. "You always were pretty good with your fists," he commented, then before the other boy could get a word in, he went on to say, "So I got a motorbike over Christmas holiday. It's ama-"

"A what?" Regulus interrupted.

Sirius grinned and quickly produced a photo of his cherished motorbike from his pocket. "I named her Bonnie," he said as he handed it over. The boy spent the next fifteen minutes droning on in excruciating detail about every thing Regulus needed to know to fully understand the concept of a motorbike. Just as the younger Black's eyes were poised to fully glaze over, Sirius finally came to a stop. "So anyways, I was saying that I got one."

Regulus nodded understandingly and handed the photo back to his brother. "Why are you telling me this?" he asked, raising one eyebrow.

"Well me and Prongs, we're gonna charm it up. Make it fly; it'll run faster than a broom when we're done with it."

Regulus had no idea what a Prongs was, but the idea of a giant hunk of metal moving faster than his broom sent the boy into a fit of laughter. "Faster than a broom? You're out of your mind," he said as he let out a long sigh. "That thing is never gonna outrun a broom."

"It can and it will. When we're done putting charms on it," James argued, offended at the younger boy's dismissive tone. "Give it up, Padfoot, he's never gonna go for it," he added, looking over towards Sirius with a smirk.

"What? Go for what?" Regulus asked, sitting up to attention. "I'm not gonna go for what?" His eyes widened with curiosity and his hands twisted together. The smile on his brother's face put a similar one upon Regulus'. The boy couldn't remember the last time Sirius smiled at him that way; it felt like ages.

"Well..." Sirius trailed off, shifting in his seat. "It's just I was gonna ask you to join us. I know you're really good at charms and we could use an extra wand," he said, his eyes flashing with the kind of feigned innocence that took years of practice. "And you could have turns on it when we're done. Just imagine it."

Unwittingly, Regulus did just that. The boy's mind drifted to images of himself sitting on the pictured motorbike, flying through a field faster than his broom had ever carried him; his hair whipping into his eyes and his smile stretching ear to ear. He couldn't contain the small laugh that escaped his lips before reality set in and he shook his head. "Yeah, I'm sure mum and dad would be just fine and dandy with me sitting around fiddling with Muggle crap," he muttered, leaning back against his chair in defeat.

Sirius rolled his eyes while James muttered something that Regulus was sure he didn't want repeated. "You're gonna be seventeen next month," Sirius pointed out. "You don't have to ask for permission to do anything. Just come over and help us."

"You know it doesn't work that way," Regulus said quietly, lowering his gaze to the desk.

"Then...you could always just leave. I still have that extra room and I can ta-"

"Stop." Regulus slammed his hand down on the desk and shot his brother a nasty look. "I knew it. I just knew it. You didn't come back here to talk to me; you came to suck me into your Muggle loving little fantasies. It's real sick, Sirius. Just...just leave me the hell alone!" He gathered up his quill and parchment and hastily shoved them into his bag, then scrambled to get into a seat as far away from Sirius and James as possible.

The entire room was hushed into silence as Professor McGonagall stepped into view and held up her hands. "I want you all to work quietly. You're here for the next hour, so heads down and mouths closed," the woman instructed.

No more than ten minutes had Regulus been writing his lines when a folded piece of parchment dropped onto his desk. The boy frowned and glanced around to make sure that no one was watching him before he slowly pulled it open.

Stop being stubborn!

Regulus narrowed his eyes at his brother's handwriting and crumpled up the parchment. He forced his attention back onto his lines, refusing to look back at Sirius even though he could feel the boy's eyes on the back of his head. After another few minutes passed, a second folded note slipped in front of him.

I miss you

The Slytherin stared down at the words and let out a sharp breath. He slowly folded the note back over and touched his quill to it. He could feel his hand shaking slightly and closed his eyes to steady himself. A quick glance over his shoulder showed his brother staring at him with eager and hopeful eyes. He knew it was wrong to care.

Every fiber of his being screamed that his brother was a blood traitor and he wasn't meant to have any contact with the boy. He could hear his mother's voice screeching out the foul insults that hadn't shaken Grimmauld Place since Sirius' departure. He could see his cousin Bellatrix's eyes narrowing in anger and her wand raising to punish his deceitful thoughts; for consorting with a blood traitor was as bad as being one yourself.

Regulus shook his head roughly, forcing away the invasions into his mind. He looked back to the note in his hands and slipped it into his pocket before going back to writing his detention lines. As the time ran out and everyone made their way to the door, a hand gripped around Regulus' upper arm and pulled him against the wall.

"Please," Sirius whispered. "Just give m-"

"Don't." Regulus held up his hand and bit down hard on his bottom lip. "Sirius...I miss you too." The boy shook his head when his brother's eyes lit up with hope. "But it doesn't change anything. You made your choice and so did I."

"But your choice is wrong!" Sirius pleaded. "Why can't you see that?"

"I'm sorry you feel that way," the boy answered. "I want you to leave me alone." He looked back towards the doorway where James stood watching. "Go back to your friends, Sirius. You're not going to change my mind. No amount of trickery or bribes or offers is going to change my mind."

"You're my brother," the older Black whispered. "I can't just stand by and let them drag you down."

"I haven't been dragged anywhere," Regulus argued. "I walked there. On my own, by my own wand I swore myself into this life." He thrust his left arm towards his brother in clarification and tightened his jaw. "I know you think I'm just some stupid sheep, but I chose this!"

"Then you chose death!"

"I'm okay with that," Regulus whispered before turning away from his brother and stepping out of the classroom. He pushed his hand into his pocket and retrieved the tiny scrap that bore his brother's words. "It doesn't change anything," he told himself as he tossed the parchment into the nearest rubbish bin.


A Note From the Author: Thank you for reading. Leave me some thoughts if you will. :D –Jenna