King Rat: Our Kingdom
Author Notes: This starts the first of three "focus" chapters, where a specific character gets focus. However, I messed it up in week one, wherein I discovered the same thing Sensei discovered about Gojyo and Hakkai for the Burial chapter: Gojyo and Hakkai can't be separated, they're like two sides of a coin. For me, Yohei and Eiji are just the same.
Special credit to RodiSquall for her help, as always, and particularly for a joke I made in here! Something she said stuck with me and kept making me laugh, so I ran with it. (Sorry I didn't ask first!)
Disclaimer: The characters of Saiyuki are not mine, but I play with them.
50: Orchids on Your Doorstep
Gojyo and Sanzo were not all-knowing or all-seeing, no matter how much they both tried. They did their best to keep track of all the plates they had to balance as a family, but there were always little things they missed. They got the important things- they picked up on the twins' little signals when they were upset or angry, they could tell when Yohei was in trouble just from how much his little head hunched when they retrieved him from class, or how proud Eiji was of his grades from the way he skipped. They knew Tai, certainly, but they were starting to learn about Wong and Hong and Bao, too, and even walking them to and from visits to the park to see them. They kept up on everything either one had going on, each one making up for lost time. That didn't mean little things didn't slip through the cracks sometimes.
For example, both Sanzo and Gojyo were ignorant of the fact that Eiji would eavesdrop outside of their bedroom door some nights and most mornings. This particular morning, Eiji was as aware of that as ever.
Another morning unheard and unseen, Eiji tiptoed back down the hall. He was usually up before Yohei, laying awake in the dark, but sometimes lately, Yohei would be up, wandering around the house with half-closed eyes and trying not to stagger into walls as he did. This time, Yohei had already stumbled back into bed when Eiji came back. "Daddy's sick again. Papa's awake and talkin' to him, but I can hear him throwin' up."
"S'like that every mornin' now." Yohei yawned into his pillow, and glared at the sliver of sun peering through their window. "Maybe tell me when he's not sick in the morning anymore."
Eiji tossed his pillow at Yohei. "Don't lie, you're scared too. Betcha if I don't check tomorrow, you will. You always do." 'Always' counted as the last four weeks, but for a five-year-old, that counted. Four weeks of having the same conversation, that always ended in just about the same way:
Yohei threw the pillow back at Eiji's head. "Shut up. I'm goin' back to bed." He tucked his head under his pillow, and Eiji sighed and threw himself back on his mattress.
There really wasn't much they could do but wait and listen, and boy was there a lot to listen to! The boys' world was getting bigger, and while Yohei tried to bury his ears, Eiji tuned his ears like he could hear the reasons things were changing. Instead, it was just the faint noise of his fathers conversing- Papa low and grumbling, Daddy a little hoarse. It was like the words he didn't know yet- he just had no way of finding out unless he was told.
Luckily, being told wasn't too much to ask for.
August had passed into September, and it was finally starting to cool off, just a little. Hakkai was out for the evening, picking up their special orders, meaning Gojyo and Sanzo were in charge of dinner on their own. Sanzo had taken one look at the recipe Hakkai had left out, crumpled it and tossed it to Gojyo. Gojyo straightened it, read it over, laughed hard, and put it back on the counter. "Looks like it's ramen night. I'll be back soon." He started to tie his boots on, but Sanzo halted him.
"Do you want me to go?"
"Darlin', I got this. I know where the best ramen is, and really, you'd stand out like a sore thumb." Gojyo pulled both boots on and jumped to his feet, then planted a kiss on Sanzo's cheek. "Back in a few." He jogged down the stairs, as Sanzo pressed his fingers over where Gojyo's lips had been, a faint pink flush creeping up to chase it. Yohei snickered as Sanzo whipped back around, trying to force his face neutral as he faced the twins.
"Homework, gentlemen." Yohei swallowed his giggles, and Eiji raised an eyebrow at him as he picked up his pencil again.
"Yo." Eiji tapped his pencil on the table, and whispered in the language only the two of them knew: "He did it again. Papa's treating Daddy like Daddy treats us."
Yohei rolled his eyes and whispered back, "Yeah, so? Maybe Papa's just nice now."
"I dunno." Eiji glanced up at Sanzo, just as he planted a hand on Eiji's head.
"No twinspeak. Eiji, you've been on that problem for ages. Focus."
"Sorry, Papa; my head hurts." He squinted at the page, and grumbled as his eyes burned. Math homework wasn't a very good distraction from everything else,
Gojyo came back with four carry-out bowls of ramen, along with a fresh jar of mayonnaise and a box of soda crackers. Sanzo took it off his hands as he came in. "You didn't get yourself the extra-spicy, did you?"
"Do I look stupid? I got the one I always get, house special. It's got vegetables in it and everything." Sanzo grunted and set them around the table.
"Get extra vegetables next time."
"Don't be a prick. This is fine." Gojyo put a few sets of chopsticks out around the boys' homework and went for the pantry, and Eiji couldn't take it anymore.
"Daddy?" Eiji put his hand up. "Why's Papa sayin' that?"
"What's that, kiddo?" Gojyo turned, napkins in hand.
"Why's Papa bein' nice to you and tellin' you to eat vegetables and bein' worried when you go places?" Eiji rocked anxiously in his chair, and Gojyo just stared, dumbfounded, then cracked a grin at Sanzo.
"You think?" He waggled his eyebrows, and Sanzo shrugged.
"Is Ryuichi working late?"
"Yep. If you think we're ready, then we can talk." Gojyo winked at Eiji. "How about we put the homework away and eat? I'll answer your questions."
The room was warm and cozy with all the ramen bowls opened, and felt full with even just the four of them. Gojyo wolfed down most of his soup quickly between asking Yohei about the playground soccer game, as Sanzo folded his mayonnaise in over and over and blew on it to cool it off. Eiji waited, expectantly, staring at Gojyo over mouthfuls of soup. Finally, Gojyo chuckled and pushed his bowl back. "You can drop the hairy eyeball, kiddo. I didn't forget. I- We've been meanin' to have a talk with you two anyway."
Gojyo slid back and looked between the two for a moment, then lingered on Yohei, and Yohei swallowed hard. "Whatever it is, I didn't do it. It was Ichi." He nodded. "It was definitely Ichi."
"You're not in trouble. Yet," Sanzo hastily added, and took a firmer-than-necessary hold on Yohei's shoulder.
"Yet," Gojyo chortled, and set his elbows on the table and tipped smiling eyes towards the ceiling. "It's not a big deal. Just, we're gonna give you a baby brother or sister, and we thought you should know."
Eiji's jaw might as well have hit the table, and Yohei gasped so hard Gojyo thought his chest might implode. "You are?!"
"Daddy-!" Eiji whipped his head around to look at Sanzo. "Papa-!"
"It's true." Sanzo put his free hand on Eiji's head.
"I know this is gonna be a lot for you guys to take in," Gojyo continued, as he reached out and grabbed both boys' hands under the table. "But we need you two to be big brothers again. Think you can do that for us?"
"B-but..." Yohei turned in towards the living room, to the little shrine in the corner. Gojyo didn't have to follow his gaze to know, and he squeezed Yohei's hand.
"She wouldn't mind, kiddo. I betcha she'd even be happy to have a little brother or sister herself. She's on to a new life, remember? We can move on too."
Eiji, meanwhile, bounced against Sanzo's hand, knocking the top of his head against his palm. "When're we gonna meet her?"
"Five or six months. It's a while to wait. You have to be patient. You can't rush these sorts of things." Sanzo pressed his palm down to settle Eiji.
"Yeah, takes a while for babies to cook, you see?" Gojyo put both hands on his stomach, and Eiji was sure his eyes would fall out of his head.
"You mean he's in there right now?!"
"He or she's been in here a little while!" Gojyo laughed, and reached out to ruffle Eiji's hair as he squealed with glee. Yohei's face fell, and Sanzo patted his back.
"It wasn't a secret," Sanzo muttered, but Yohei shrugged him off. Gojyo quickly picked up where he left off as Sanzo folded his arms.
"We just wanted to wait until he or she got a little bigger." Gojyo smiled a little and sat back in his chair. "So, now you know why your Papa's being careful with me. Gotta keep your little brother or sister safe, yeah? We want him or her to come out big and strong, you see?"
"Can we just call it a him?" Yohei sulked at the table, and Gojyo laughed, slapping his knee.
"Well, let's not tempt fate, yeah?" He gave Yohei's hard a quick muss, then jumped up to his feet. "Look, guys, you don't have to do anything different. I want you to know why we're being careful, though. I'm just gonna ask you guys to just ask me or Papa if you have questions, and..." He glanced to Sanzo, and wrapped his hand around the back of Eiji's chair. "Well, we wanna tell the important people ourselves, so don't tell anyone else. For now."
Eiji gasped, clutching at the bottom of his shirt. "Uncle! You gotta tell Uncle!"
"Uncle knows," Sanzo grumbled.
"And Ichi!"
"Eh..." Gojyo laughed uncomfortably, his hand slid back like his fingertips had found something slimy. "Well, we'll talk to Ichi. Don't you worry, kid. This is stuff we have to worry about, not you." He bent down and kissed the back of Yohei's head, then circled around to give Eiji the same. "You're good kids. I trust you guys- we both do, right?" Gojyo looked to Sanzo, eyes wide and ears perked like a squirrel opening his eyes to the spring sun, and Sanzo nodded. Eiji squealed again and clasped his hands tight in joyous praise.
"So, is it gonna be a brother or a sister?"
Sanzo reached out to calm Eiji down again, and a smile had returned at the sight of Eiji's contagious exuberance. "That's going to be another surprise. We'll all find out together."
"What're we gonna name him?" Gojyo raised an eyebrow in surprise as Yohei's grumbled, almost reluctant question.
"You know, kid, that's a good question." He tapped the counter behind him, then rubbed his chin. "Hey, uh, maybe Ren if it's a boy, or Yuri if it's a girl-"
"Sousuke for a boy, Kaede for a girl."
Gojyo fixed Sanzo with a cocked-eyebrow and a flippant smirk, an unspoken 'Really?' and a spoken, "What are you, ninety? You're gonna be a dad, not a grandpa."
Sanzo returned a snort and ice in his gaze like if his jeans were chafing. "At least I have more than a one-track mind." Yohei finally let out a giggle, the first since the conversation had started.
"Guess you guys are kind of normal again." This sent Gojyo into laughter again, and he grabbed Yohei's arm.
"We'll worry about it later. Come on, you runts, let's go get some soccer practice in. I'll be the goalie!" He bounded for the steps, and as Yohei made to follow, Sanzo captured his elbow under his hand.
"Be careful, alright?"
"Okay." Yohei nodded, and glanced at the shrine again. Eiji had already run off after Gojyo, but Yohei stopped at the shrine on his way and picked up the pressed hydrangea in its frame. He glowered at it for a moment, then set it down and gave it a pat. "Later," he whispered, then grabbed his tennis shoes and ran down the stairs after Gojyo. Sanzo felt a smile form anew, then realized he'd been left alone with the mess from the takeout.
"God damn it." He sighed, then grabbed out his cigarettes and slunk out after them. He had better things to do than clean up alone. He would rather referee and chew the others out later.
Eiji didn't care what they were doing. He was just so happy to be in on the secret that he wasn't worrying about the details either.
Childhood wasn't as easy or carefree as adults often romanticized, or so Hakkai explained to Sanzo over the shop counter like a psychiatrist for hire, when he asked. "They do think, you know. Very active little minds, and unique ways of working them." He tapped his own brow. "I can't guess what's going through Yohei's head. You'd have to ask him."
"I tried," Gojyo pitched in from his work room. He was enjoying the new stool Sanzo had brought home, one with a back and a cushion that spun around all the way, so he could still turn to face the shelves. "He just shrugs and mumbles." He spun around one more time, then slid off his stool from the front, caught his balance on his lower back, and shuffled out with his hand planted just above his hip. "I guess I'm not surprised that he's a little conflicted. I mean, it's a big thing to deal with, especially after everything." He propped himself against the wall. "I'm actually startin' to get worried about Ei."
Sanzo scowled. "Why?" It was a flat, almost defensive demand, his eyes narrow. "He's very happy. Why is it so wrong for him to be happy?"
Gojyo put his hands up. "Got nothin' to do with that. I mean, yeah, he's really happy about the brother or sister, but ain't you noticed how long he's been takin' at his homework? I'm startin' to think he's happier here 'cause there's somethin' wrong at school."
"Hm," Hakkai interjected, before Sanzo could fire back. "Have either of you spoken to their teacher?"
"I talked to Miss Won briefly. Once I cleaned myself up, I introduced myself. Nice enough, kinda, y'know, standoffish." Gojyo's shoulders slumped, and he slouched on the wall. "Probably 'cause she heard how I was with Miss Feng when I was... you know."
"Has she sent notes home?" Gojyo shrugged, and Hakkai tapped his chin. Sanzo scoffed and folded his arms.
"Eiji's bright enough to tell us if there's anything wrong at school." He marched for the door. "I'm going out. Gojyo, do you need anything?"
"I'm alrig-" Before Gojyo could finish, Sanzo was out the door, and Gojyo immediately turned to Hakkai.
"Bro. What the hell was that?"
"Ah, now that, I can explain." Hakkai giggled and leaned close, as if to whisper. "He favors Eiji, at least a little, so he's defensive of him."
"What, you think he prefers Ei to Yohei?"
"He'd deny it if you said it to his face. But yes, I do think so. Eiji's more emotional, so it may be easier for him to form a bond with him."
"No way." Gojyo laughed, and set his other hand on his lower back. "He loves them both."
"He does, of course. But Sanzo isn't what one would call 'emotionally available,' and frankly, Yohei's more like you. Boyish and boisterous, but not the soft heart that Eiji presents. I think Eiji just opens him up a bit easier."
"Hmm." Gojyo folded his arms, but Hakkai laid a hand over his elbow.
"Can you admit that you perhaps favor Yohei, if only because you connect with him more easily?"
"Nope." Gojyo grinned and broke away from Hakkai. "I love all my babies the exact same- with everything I got." He stepped back towards his office, rubbing little circles on his lower back. "Hell, all this talk about 'favorites' makes me wonder how you're going to be with this one."
"The same as with Yohei and Eiji- as if he or she were my own." Hakkai laughed, and Gojyo's turned back neatly ended the conversation.
Gojyo tried to put it out of his mind, but when Sanzo came back with a bag of apple crisps for him and sat sullen at his desk, he felt bad for even wondering. "Y'know, me bein' worried about Ei, it's got nothin' to do with how smart he is or anything."
"I didn't think it did." Sanzo put his pen down and glanced around from his spot. "But it does nag at some of my concerns. Others mocked me as a child-"
"You're tellin' me." Gojyo smirked and brushed his bangs back from his face, and Sanzo's spine stiffened. "Look, Ei's been pushed around before, we know that." He turned in his stool. "He's my guy, y'know? I'd hate for him to go through the hell I went through as a kid." Gojyo chuckled a little, his eyes on the ground. "Just, I worry, you know. About him, and the next one." He folded his hands on his lap, just in front of his navel. "If he's getting kicked around again, and scared to say anything to us because crybabies get it worse, especially now that they're getting a little older and 'fitting in' is a bigger deal. And then there's this one. What if he, or she, is..." He trailed off, his eyelids drooping. Sanzo inhaled sharply, and grabbed his wrist.
"And so what if he or she is hanyou?" He shook Gojyo's arm. "It wouldn't bother me if he or she was youkai, and he or she will thrive if we have anything to do with it." He gave Gojyo a push, scowling like his glare would brand it into him. "What others think doesn't matter. We are all used to rejection. Our children will get used to the same."
"That don't mean it's what I want for 'em. I wanted 'em to have it easy. When they struggle, it hurts me." Gojyo closed his arms in and drew his knees in, his face clouded over. "When Eiji was born, when Hakkai told me he was red, I..." He chuckled, and shook his head. "I think the first thing I thought was, 'hell, another filthy half-breed.'" Sanzo's expression went black, as Gojyo bent his head down to his fist. "I know. Stupid, self-loathing bullshit. But I thought his life was gonna be impossible, just like mine was. And I was gonna have to protect him from everything, forever." He rubbed the corners of his eyes with his thumb and index finger, and sighed heavily. "Shit, I know it's wrong to think that way-"
"You can think whatever way you like." Sanzo rose from his seat to grab Gojyo's shoulders, and Gojyo languidly tipped his head back, but without the smirk that usually came with the indolent gesture. "I recognize that my thought patterns are unusual. They don't always match reality. But it's like everything else. Take it as it comes. Whatever is coming can't be changed."
"And we'll just deal with it. I know." Gojyo sighed and slumped down again. "I mean, let's face it. When I was little, my life sucked. I just want to feel like I've done better for them. So far... we've had our ups and downs. And every down makes me feel like shit."
"And don't the ups make it worth it?" Sanzo relaxed his grip on Gojyo's shoulders, and Gojyo chuckled and slowly shook his head.
"Lucky me, one of us has some goddamned clarity." He started to turn in his seat again, just as the shop bell rang and a woman's voice called in:
"Mr. Sha?" He heard Hakkai directing her to the back room, and a young woman who Gojyo recognized as a teacher's assistant popped her head in. "Mr. Sha, there's a problem with one of your sons, we need you to come in."
Gojyo jumped to his feet, winced at the sudden movement, but grabbed his jacket. "I'm with you. Let me get my shoes, and we're ready to roll." He noticed Sanzo shoving his pen and papers away.
"He's mine too. I'm coming with you."
The school was a mercifully short walk, with Gojyo's heart thumping against his ribcage every step, and felt it break when she led them to the nurse's office to find Eiji crying on the bench. "Aw, kiddo." Gojyo got on his knee to look up at Eiji. "What happened?" He looked him up and down for injuries, starting to feel a rush of rage that made his shoulders tremble, because if someone hurt him, then there was going to be hell to pay. Eiji didn't answer, only moaned:
"It hurts, it hurts..."
Sanzo glowered at the nurse; Gojyo could feel from the raised hair on the back of his neck that Sanzo was feeling the same ire as he was. "If someone did this to him-"
"It's nothing like that," the nurse assured him quickly, and shrank back from the fire in his eyes. "He was struggling in class, having trouble keeping up, and when Miss Won spoke to him to intervene, he started to cry and complain about his head. Your ward may be struggling with migraine headaches."
"Migraines," Sanzo repeated, then whirled around to look at Eiji. He was rubbing his eyes and sobbing, and Sanzo made a decision with a nod. "Allow me." Gojyo glanced at him, then got up and stepped aside, and Sanzo crouched to eye level with him. "Eiji, look at me." Eiji lifted his head a little, and Sanzo held up three fingers between two hands. "Count my fingers. How many?" Eiji squinted, then cringed.
"It hurts, Papa."
"Ah." Sanzo patted his head, and, to Gojyo's surprise, smiled. "Is that all this is?" He snorted, and glanced to Gojyo. "If I'm correct, a visit to the doctor will cure this in one go." He took Eiji's hand and tugged, gently, and Eiji slid off the bench and landed next to Sanzo. "Gojyo, I can take care of this if you'd like to go back to work. There's nothing to worry about."
"Ah-" Gojyo frowned, and looked at Eiji. "I dunno..."
"This could take some time. You should be available to pick Yohei up in case I'm still with him." Sanzo ran his hand down through Eiji's hair and to his shoulder. Gojyo considered it, and shrugged.
"I guess it can't hurt." Gojyo patted Eiji's free shoulder. "Be good, okay, kid? Papa's got this, you'll feel better soon." He bent down and kissed his forehead, and stepped back as Sanzo led Eiji out by the hand. He offered the nurse a quick smirk and followed, wondering again at what he was missing here.
But he was sure Sanzo knew what he was doing. Sanzo tended to see things a lot more clearly; he could look past what was right in front of him.
A few hours later, Yohei was sitting at Sanzo's desk and doing his homework when Gojyo was watching and fidgeting when he wasn't. Gojyo worked on, as casual as he could be, as if nothing was amiss. Yohei glanced at the wall clock, and moaned under his breath.
"Daddy, y'think he's alright?"
"Don't you trust your Papa, kid?" Gojyo continued to work, nonchalantly, slitting up the stem of a lily. "He told me that Ei would be fine."
"Hmmmm." It was a questioning little whine, and Yohei slouched deeper into the chair. "It's been a long time."
"Yeah, sometimes, good things take a long time." Gojyo reached over his shoulder and mussed his hair from behind, and Yohei whined and shrugged at him. The shop bell rang again, and Yohei jumped out of his chair and ran to the aperture that opened into the shop.
"Aw, just another customer." He moaned again and shuffled back to Sanzo's chair.
"Don't you 'aw' that, kid, we like customers!" Gojyo leaned out into the shop and whispered a 'sorry' at the now-giggling woman, then hopped back into his chair. "Ei'll be back soon, okay?"
"Mmmmm."
"Use words, kiddo." Gojyo gently ran his fingernails down his neck, and Yohei yelped in surprise, then turned his head and bit at Gojyo's fingers. "Watch it, we don't bite! You ain't a dog!" He laughed hard, almost drowning out the sound of the shop bell ringing again.
"We're home," Sanzo's voice wafted in, and Yohei bounced out of his chair and ran for the door, but Sanzo was already there, Eiji in his arms with his face buried in his shoulder.
Yohei jumped up, grabbing at Eiji's pants. "Ei, is your head better?" Eiji shook his head against Sanzo's shoulder, and Sanzo lowered from a stand to his knees and released him.
"Why don't you show your brother and father what the doctor gave you?" Eiji shivered, but pulled his face out of Sanzo's chest and turned to face them. Gojyo's jaw fell when Eiji looked up at him through wire-rimmed glasses perched on his nose. Sanzo squeezed his shoulder from behind, then reached into his robe and pulled out his own glasses. "Easily fixed. I was a bit older than Eiji when I started to have severe headaches and difficulty reading."
"I look stupid," Eiji mumbled, and rubbed his nose on his sleeve.
"Nuh-uh, those make you look really smart, like the principal and stuff!" Yohei snatched the glasses from Eiji, and Eiji gasped and reached out after them as Yohei put them on himself. "See, how do I look?"
"Stupid! Give 'em back!" He tried to grab his glasses off Yohei's face, but Yohei squirmed and swatted him back.
"Yohei." Sanzo fixed Yohei with a cool, stern stare, and both boys stopped squabbling. "Eiji needs to wear those all the time for a few weeks to get used to them. It'll fix his headaches." Yohei took the glasses off and handed them back. "I only use mine when I'm reading. Eiji and I can see things far away quite well. Things that are close are blurry, and trying to look at them can cause eyestrain."
"How long you think it's been like this?" Gojyo started toying with Eiji's hair again, trying to suppress a frown.
"Probably since he was young. It may have just been steadily worsening, or so the optometrist- eye doctor, Yohei- suggested."
"Well, then." Gojyo got down on his knee. "Eiji, do I look any different?" He put on his best grin. "Like having a whole new Daddy, right?" Eiji focused on him, and for once, didn't have to squint. His face lit up into a big smile.
"Not different. Just clearer. But I don't remember the last time I saw you smile like that."
"Get used to it, kid." Gojyo leaned in and kissed him, then wrapped his arms around him. He smiled up at Sanzo over Eiji's shoulder, and mouthed a 'thank you.'
Even if Sanzo did understand Eiji better, maybe that wasn't such a bad thing. Eiji needed a good, strong ally, and Sanzo was proving to be a staunch defender. His love would make his life just that little bit easier.
They still hadn't noticed, so Eiji thought, as he lingered outside of Gojyo and Sanzo's door again and listened to their early morning activity. He could hear Gojyo pacing, but nothing else, not yet.
See, Eiji had been paying attention, and ever since they had come back from the beach, Daddy had been sick every single morning, and while he seemed okay during the day, it had been weeks! Almost two months now! "If I was sick this much," so Eiji thought, "then Papa would take me to the doctor. Daddy took Yo to the doctor when we were little, and he was only coughing." He wasn't sure what he could do: could he, should he ask Papa to take Daddy to the doctor? Could he talk to Uncle? Or maybe he would just keep watching, keeping vigil, trying to make sure Daddy was okay. Well, Daddy and someone else.
Ren, or Yuri, or Sousuke, or Kaede. One of them. (Maybe none of them, but definitely someone.) Eiji had been paying attention to that, too. "It's starting to look like before Kana," Yohei had whispered to him last night, and nodded towards Gojyo's torso. The front of his shirt tented out at the bottom now, and when Daddy lifted his arms and the bottom of his shirt came with them, he could see that Daddy's tummy was rounded out. "That means it's in there, right?"
"Well, sure," Eiji had whispered back. "It won't fit anywhere else, remember?"
It clashed in his head- the baby was in Daddy's tummy, but Daddy kept emptying his tummy out. Was the baby okay? Eiji tried to talk to Yohei about it, but Yohei had rebuffed him: "No, no, no, if there's anything wrong, Daddy'll say so. Stop worrying!"
Eiji thought so, but he couldn't just stop. So, he pressed his ear to the door, but heard a big sigh and a whump as Gojyo's backside hit the bed.
"It ain't comin'." Sanzo had sat up in bed, as Gojyo perched on the edge of the tub for an hour after waking up with the familiar nausea, then paced around the bathroom. He pursed his lips as Gojyo buried his face in the quilt.
"Nothing? You seem disappointed. I'd think the end of morning sickness would be a good thing."
"I threw up every morning and even the rest of the day when I had the boys. It's crazy that it's not happening. I'm startin' to worry about this kid, Kou." Gojyo lifted his eyes out of the quilt, and Sanzo took the cue to pet Gojyo's hair.
"You shouldn't. In fact, your sickness before was more unusual than this. If there was a problem, you'd talk to Hakkai, and he'd fix it. Have you talked to Hakkai?"
"Uh-uh."
"Do you want to go wake him up?"
"Nope."
"Then worrying won't do you any good." Sanzo ran his fingers over Gojyo's ear, and Gojyo shivered and burrowed down into the quilt. "Your body is probably just becoming accustomed to the changes."
Gojyo stiffened, then chuckled. "Maybe, but damn, that's a freaky thought. What if I'm turning into a girl for good or some shit?"
"I'll worry when you start growing breasts. I'd never get you out of bed." Sanzo leaned back just enough to dodge Gojyo's halfhearted swipe. "Don't take it out on me. I'm not the one who gave you Hir Merciful Snatch."
"Hir what?"
"Never mind." Sanzo buttoned his lip and hooded his eyes, and Gojyo groaned and rolled up to a stand.
"Whatever. What time is it? I need to go out."
"Fifteen minutes until the end of curfew." Sanzo threw the quilt back. "Whatever it is can wait until sunup. Come back to bed."
"Nn, I can't wait. I ain't sleepin' til I take care of this." Gojyo pulled his shorts off and tossed them at the hamper in the bathroom (missing by about a meter, but Sanzo gave him points for trying.)
"You're craving cigarettes?"
"Yeah, but I'm not getting those. I'm actually..." Gojyo stopped mid-thought, and pressed his hand over the swell of his middle. "Well, damn." He chuckled sheepishly, and Sanzo cocked his eyebrow and glared until Gojyo turned to face him with an embarrassed smile. "I'm craving cinnamon. Like, I could eat a whole stick, straight."
"Oh." Sanzo took it in, then made a noise that Gojyo recognized as a short laugh that came off as a snort. "You'll make yourself sick."
"I know. I was just thinking cinnamon buns, or cinnamon donuts, or..." He stopped and licked his lips- his mouth was watering already. "Shit, this is my first sweet craving. This plus no morning sickness. How fucking weird is that?"
"Pickles. Pickles and kimchi. Pickled anything." Gojyo cocked his head, and Sanzo nodded to himself. "If I'm correct, those were your cravings with the boys. What was it last time?" Gojyo stiffened like a board, and Sanzo looked him straight on. "I... shouldn't have asked."
"No. It's fine." Gojyo relaxed incrementally as his hand traveled down his middle, but he was staring straight at the wall. "Uh. Salt. Potato chips, pretzels, ramen- shit, anything salty. Hakkai cut me off of snack foods and soy sauce completely, said I'd get hypertension or some shit. Problem was, I didn't have an appetite if it wasn't salty. I wouldn't eat most of the time, but he actually chewed me out when I ate a whole big bag of potato chips in a sitting by myself without even noticing it."
This got a short bark of a laugh out of Sanzo, and Gojyo relaxed all at once. "Zero nutritional content. I'd have been upset with you too." He rolled over to where he'd hung his robe the previous night and rummaged his way into the inner pockets. "Here." He tossed Gojyo his wallet. "Grab me some Marlboros. Bring enough cinnamon buns for everybody. I'll ask Hakkai if he has any cinnamon tea he can make you. Get yourself an actual stick of cinnamon while you're at it: you can suck on it all day and it won't make you sick."
"Holy shit." Gojyo looked at the wallet in his hand. "You... damn, you're sweet." He kissed Sanzo on the cheek. "Real good idea there, darlin'. I'll get'cha a full carton." He kissed Sanzo again, this time between the eyes. Sanzo cringed just a little, but a smile played at the corners of his mouth.
Gojyo dressed and combed his hair before leaving, but felt the door catch as he opened it and found Eiji knocked on his backside at the jamb. He set his hands on his hips and smiled gently down, as Eiji rubbed his head and winced up at him. "Mornin', Daddy."
"Couldn't sleep, bud?" He helped Eiji up to his feet and wiped his glasses off on the bottom of his shirt, then placed them back on his nose. "Wanna go in with Papa for a few?"
"Eiji." Sanzo patted the space on the bed beside him, and Eiji trudged in and flopped onto the bed beside Sanzo. Sanzo took his glasses off the set them on the bedside table, and waved Gojyo off. Gojyo waved to the both of them, and Eiji snuggled in next to Sanzo as he flounced off. Sanzo only called after him, "Don't forget your jacket."
Maybe Eiji didn't completely understand, but Daddy wasn't sick. He was smiling and happy, and Papa wasn't worried, and neither of them minded him hanging outside of their door and listening. He did understand that there were cinnamon buns at the breakfast table when Papa did get him out of bed, and that nobody acted like there was anything wrong at all. Maybe he didn't have to fret, but a little voice told him he was going to keep at it until he did understand.
"... Daddy stopped throwing up, but he's startin' to look more worried again." Eiji chewed his thumb as he watched Yohei kick the ball against the wall. He caught it on his hip, then bounced it back to his knee. Eiji surveyed behind them; Tai was talking to some other boys, and nobody else was really near them. Yohei hadn't wanted to join the recess soccer game, and Eiji had followed him to his favorite practice spot against the school building. He kicked the ball again, darted across the pavement to catch the rebound, and checked it back at the wall again. "I dunno, what do you think?"
"Daddy would tell us if it was important." Yohei kicked the ball again, but it bounced over his shoulder. He stomped his foot, then chased the ball and grabbed it before some of the third graders could. "Maybe it's cause it's getting colder, and we're gonna have to eat nothing but rice and lentils again."
"Nu-uh, that's not gonna happen! That only happened 'cause Papa was gone away. He came back and it all got better!" Eiji folded his arms. "Papa won't leave again."
"Stupid." Yohei kicked the ball at the wall again, and it rebounded past him and rolled further. He retrieved it, then dribbled it on the ground a few times. "Papa'll do whatever he wants."
"Yo..." Eiji sighed, his shoulders sinking. This was another little thing that bothered him- sometimes, Yohei seemed to be angry at Papa for no good reason at all. "Daddy says Papa won't leave again."
"Sometimes, Daddy lies. And you know it." He dribbled it right at the wall, and it rebounded past him again. Yohei glared at the ball as he chased it down and returned to Eiji. "He lied to Papa."
"But it's better now!" Eiji clenched his hands tight and started to count ten in his head.
"You're so stupid sometimes!" Yohei kicked the ball up into his hands. "It doesn't matter. Go play somewhere else!" He stormed off, and Eiji was left alone. He sighed again, and trudged towards the sidewalk chalk. He waved to Tai, and he and Hong broke away from their group to join him.
He wasn't upset. He just wondered when Yohei had become so very different from him.
Even at home, it was strange to see how different Yohei was. Daddy and Papa were just about the same. Sometimes, Yohei was just like he always was, happy, joining Gojyo in their afternoon exercise or practicing martial arts with Sanzo, teasing Ryuichi, trying to shirk his homework, but sometimes, he just fell apart. Sometimes, he sulked at the dinner table and glared at the carrots and cabbage on his plate, even as Eiji enthusiastically quizzed Sanzo and Gojyo:
"So, is the baby gonna be here soon?"
"I told ya, kiddo," Gojyo chuckled, then took a long draught of his tea. Eiji could smell it from across the table- cinnamon and clove, very, very sweet. "Probably somewhere around March."
"Though it could be sooner," Hakkai contributed. "We didn't expect you two to join us until near November, but there you were, early morning on October 11th."
"Was one hell of a night, let me tell you." Gojyo's face split into a wide, wide grin. "You two ran out of room and got impatient."
"Oh, but what if the baby runs out of room again?" Eiji gasped and sat up high to look at Gojyo. He could just see the swell hidden under the table, though only just. "Will he come sooner?"
"We can't control that," Sanzo rumbled, but gave Gojyo a meaningful look. "We just want to wait as long as we can. The longer the baby waits, the better."
It was about then that Yohei threw his chopsticks down. "Whatever." He slid off the chair, but Gojyo reached out and hooked his collar.
"Kid, that ain't how we talk or leave the table. You ain't a teenager, quit actin' like it. What's wrong?"
"You're all talking about stuff that doesn't matter." He narrowed his eyes at Gojyo and grabbed at his hand to get it loose, to no avail. "I just wanna go outside, not think about all this stupid crap!"
"You ain't allowed to say words like 'crap.' Ain't how gentlemen speak. Come on." Gojyo hoisted himself to a stand and escorted Yohei to the corner.
Yohei sulked for five minutes, though Eiji kept stealing furtive little looks in his direction. Hakuryu fluttered from his usual perch by the window to land on his shoulder and nosed at his ear, but Yohei tried to bat him away. Even when Gojyo dismissed Yohei from time-out, he just ran off to practice soccer dribbles by himself.
"Papa, why's he so grouchy?" Eiji gave Sanzo a plaintive look and held his hands out. Sanzo shrugged, but rubbed his shoulder.
"Not sure, but if I had to hazard a guess..." Sanzo frowned for a moment, his eyes affixed to something far away. "He's trying to grow up too fast. You both have had a difficult year." He gave his shoulder a firm squeeze. "Don't worry about him."
Eiji understood that Papa didn't always say everything he meant. He could fill in the blanks most of the time, and this time, he meant, 'We will deal with this,' or maybe even 'We worry about you, too.' All the same, he had his marching orders, and he usually found that listening to Papa was a wise idea. This time, he just couldn't.
Recess was Eiji's best chance to talk to Yohei by himself, so once they were released into the yard, Eiji made tracks across the thinning grass, a crimson streak across a cloudless September sky, to the paved walk around the side wall of the school as soon as the teachers let them go. "Yohei?" Yohei had already grabbed a soccer ball and was kicking it at the brick again.
"Huh? What, did you wanna play with me?" Yohei caught the soccer ball and grinned, and bounced the ball from knee to knee.
"Um, no- well, yeah, but, I wanna ask." Eiji felt his toes turn in of their own accord. "Are you mad at Daddy 'cause of the baby?"
"That's a stupid question." Yohei stopped bouncing the ball and set his hands on his hips. "It's just... Daddy-"
"Daddy." It was another voice, an older voice, a mocking voice, and Eiji realized some of the third graders had come close, kicking through the golden leaves on the ground towards them. "What a couple of babies," the ringleader with his cowlick and missing front teeth guffawed. "Hey baby, if you're not gonna play, then gimme the ball!"
Yohei scowled, and tucked the ball under his arm. "We're playin' with it. Go away." He turned his back to Eiji, and stepped forward to put himself between Eiji and the older boys.
"Stupid babies probably don't even know how to play!" One of them scoffed.
"Still says 'Daddy,' stupid wuss." Another snickered, and Eiji could see color come to Yohei's cheeks even behind him. The ringleader sniffed, then smirked at Yohei and loomed over him.
"You and the halfbreed baby dweeb give me the ball, or-" The boy reached out for the ball.
In a second, Yohei's hand was on the older boy's collar and tugged him down to his eye level. "Or what, assmunch?" The older boy tried to jerk out of Yohei's grip, but Yohei knew exactly how to hold someone- 'dragon's claws,' Papa had called it. "Nobody messes with my brother!" He flipped the boy over his shoulder and on his back- he was pretty sure he could thank Gojyo for his raw physical strength- and planted a foot on the boy's chest, without dropping the soccer ball. Eiji squeaked, as the rest of the third graders fled for the center of the playground, screaming for teachers. "You call Ei a halfbreed again, I'll knock out more of your ugly teeth!"
"M'sorry! M'sorry! Just lemme go!" The boy tried to scramble back, but Yohei leaned in on his foot.
"One more thing." He took hold of the older boy's collar again, even as he heard the teacher screaming his name. "What do you call your Daddy, ya big baby?"
Gojyo and Sanzo were two steps behind the teacher's assistant as she led them to the principal's office. Sanzo stood back at the door as Gojyo barged in, to find Yohei smiling and swinging his legs in one chair and an older boy with mussed hair and dirt all over his clothes wailing into his mother's apron. Eiji cowered against the principal's leg, and Yohei beamed to see Gojyo.
"Hi, Dad! Hi, Pop!" He hopped up and hugged right onto Gojyo, and Gojyo looked wearily at the principal.
"Alright, what'd he do this time?"
The principal convinced Eiji to explain: "The big kid was being mean to me, so Yohei flipped him." Gojyo smeared his hand down his face, as Sanzo pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Yohei..." Sanzo crouched down in front of him. "I taught you those things for self-defense. So you could protect yourself if someone was trying to hurt you."
Yohei had been smiling, but he met Sanzo with a somber expression. "When someone hurts Eiji, they hurt me."
"Alright. Good man." Sanzo rested a hand on his head, rubbed his hair around, and got up to a full stand. "We'll be going, I suppose."
"G-good man?!" The boy's mother had been starstruck, but her eyes widened when Sanzo spoke, and her face had gone red. "My son could have been killed!"
"In certain places, insulting youkai and hanyou will get you killed." Sanzo leered at her, and she shrank. He put both hands on Yohei's shoulders and squeezed. "I would consider this a lesson to him, just one that Yohei should not have delivered. Consider it lucky he didn't learn it in a barfight in ten years."
That was enough to shut the woman's yap, as Gojyo apologized profusely to the principal: "We'll be sure he knows not to defend himself physically in school when he next comes back!" Eiji got to return to class, and Yohei went home with Gojyo and Sanzo for five days of suspension. Yohei didn't even seem to mind, clinging to Gojyo's side half the way. Gojyo chuckled as he tried to hang on, his face pressed into his side, and Sanzo noticed him rub his cheek against Gojyo's belly.
"You're going to protect your little brother or sister too, won't you?" Sanzo stroked his head, and Yohei tipped his head up and down slowly.
"I wish I could now."
"Oh?" Gojyo shook his shoulder, and Yohei looked up at him, big blue eyes wide and deep, and Gojyo squeezed. "Kid, that's my job for now. Besides, me and Pop protect the both of you."
"Hmm." Yohei gave Gojyo a questioning look. Sanzo knew that sound- it was the same sound Hakkai made when he didn't quite believe you. He put his hand on Yohei's shoulder, and sighed deeply.
"You're a bit young to think about things like that." He and Gojyo traded glances over his head, and they both understood. They had been there, in different ways- each standing in the shadow of someone who dearly loved and protected him, each falling in their own, equally awful directions- and their five-year-old did not need to stand so tall just yet.
"Tell you what, kiddo." Gojyo stopped, crouched, and turned to Yohei. "When we need your help- and one of these days, I promise you we will- we'll ask you. Until then, you just keep getting' ready." He kissed Yohei's forehead, right between the eyes, and Yohei wrinkled his nose up at the tickle of Gojyo's stubble in the exact same way Sanzo did. "So." He rose up to his feet, balancing with a hand on his back. "How 'bout we talk about how much trouble you're in for gettin' suspended again?"
They walked the rest of the way home, talking in turns about why, exactly, his behavior was not okay, and giving him not one chance to speak to avoid the question of, "What would you have done?" because neither could truthfully answer that they would have done much different. It just wasn't the life they wanted for him. They both knew that childhood was supposed to be peaceful, and happy, and free of worries.
They also knew that it couldn't be that way. They didn't know everything, but they knew that much.
Even they still had worries that they didn't want anyone else to know about.
They kept the boys posted, since they had a right to know that. Gojyo even put up a calendar after he got sick of Eiji's frequent "When is he gonna get here?" and circled March 5th in red marker.
"See? Probably about here." He tapped the calendar on the wall, as both boys looked on. "This is how long your little brother or sister needs to cook before we can meet 'em. Rest of October, November, December, January, and February, and then just a little into March."
"But that's forever!" Eiji moaned and tugged on his own hair a little, but Gojyo parted Eiji's fingers from his scalp.
"It's five months and change. It'll just fly by, you know? But babies gotta grow for forty weeks."
"That's not entirely true." Hakkai slipped up behind Gojyo and turned the page back to February. "You do remember what we told you about your own birth, yes? If this baby waits as long as you did, he or she could make his debut here." He circled the February 21st. "But then again, we're not sure exactly when we started counting. It could be as long as..." Hakkai tapped his lip. "Mid-March. The eighteenth, perhaps"
"Awh, that's forever!" Eiji moaned and folded nearly in half. Yohei giggled.
"Don't be a baby."
"Shut up!" Eiji straightened right up, scowling. Hakkai giggled and returned to the kitchen, as Yohei and Eiji started to squabble. Gojyo whistled like a referee and crouched down between them.
"You guys get it, right? It takes a while to make a person." He made both of them look at him. "I gotta make lungs and a heart and fingers and toes, and the big things are hard and the little things are complicated. Plus, he or she just needs to grow and get big enough."
"How big is big enough?" Yohei asked, to Gojyo's surprise. He grinned and planted his palm on his head.
"Well, you were two and a half kilos." He then put his other palm on Eiji's head. "And you were two and three-quarters kilos. But since you were sharing space, you couldn't get as big as you needed to." He looked over his shoulder, where Sanzo was already checking the baby book. "You know?"
"The average is just less than three and a half kilos." Sanzo tapped a page without lifting his head from it. "So both of you were on the small side."
"That's about the size of it." Gojyo chuckled, and Yohei rubbed his chin.
"And how much are you?"
"Well, most of the time, seventy-five kilos, give or take."
Yohei squinted and sized Gojyo up, then gave his round middle a soft push."So, isn't your tummy three kilos yet?" Gojyo fell onto his backside and laughed.
"That ain't all him, kid!" He caught his breath, and planted both hands over his middle. "See, there's a bunch of cushion so she don't get knocked around while I'm working."
"So, it's a big shield, right?" Eiji cocked his head.
"Right. Just squishy." He gave himself a few more pats, and Sanzo made a strange noise that sounded like a smothered laugh into his hands. Gojyo stood up and glared over at him. "What?"
"Nothing." He swallowed hard and buried his nose in the baby book, and Gojyo crossed the room to stand over him.
"You think it's funny that I'm not embarrassed about gaining weight?" He leaned close into Sanzo's ear. "I don't give a shit. Me getting fat means our kid's getting bigger. And yeah, some of it is fat. Our kid needs padding, right? So, you go on and laugh at my fat ass. Just remember I don't care, and that fat ass is carrying your son or daughter." He planted a little kiss on Sanzo's brow, but as he turned to go, he felt a swat on the side of his hip.
"Idiot." Sanzo chuckled under his breath and returned to his book. "And what if I didn't mind?"
"Then I'll thank you for bein' nice to me." Gojyo smiled, and strolled on his way.
Sanzo enjoyed Gojyo's new openness, that Gojyo tried his hardest to share everything with him. It had taken time and patience to get him to be open about the things that worried him, but he was starting to get more and more of it. When Gojyo had sore feet, he would actually tell him, and Sanzo would rub them until his hands started to hurt. He was comfortable enough to ask Sanzo to get him snacks when his cravings got bad. If something upset him, Gojyo would tug Sanzo out into the backyard with him and explain it, sometimes while punching the wall, sometimes just with his arms folded tight and slowly shaking his head. It was mostly little things:
"I dunno, it was just, I wanted more sugar in my tea but you gave it to me with one spoonful and I didn't wanna say anything, 'cause hell, I don't even like tea or sugar most of the time. I know it's like nothing, but I keep thinking about it and it just keeps pissing me off more and more, and now I'm upset 'cause I got myself so mad."
He usually just needed a hug or one good strike against the wall, and he'd calm down. Sanzo knew he had less control than usual, and just provided him the space or closeness he needed. However, he expected Gojyo to at least try to explain why he was upset, and Sanzo was starting to see a strange, far-off look in his eyes sometimes. He would ask Gojyo to tell him what was wrong, and Gojyo would just chuckle and say, "No, it's nothing."
It kept happening, so it couldn't be nothing, and after a few weeks of this behavior, early in October, Sanzo got fed up. Gojyo's stiff body language, the shuttered expression, and the way he hunched in around himself as he settled into bed screamed that he was upset, but he wasn't explaining why. Sanzo could feel it coming off him like rain clouds down a mountain. He put his paper aside to study Gojyo's face, his lips drawn thin and tight, his arms folded anxiously over his chest, and Sanzo reached out to trace the line of his jaw.
"I can tell something is wrong. Talk to me."
"It's nothing." Gojyo hunched in a little further. "I'm tired. I'm really tired. I'm just..."
"Gojyo." His needle-tone prodded Gojyo right out of bed and to his feet, and he paced beside the bed.
"Look, it's just..." He gesticulated, then tossed his hair back, turned on his heel and paced back. "Fuck. It's fine. It's okay. It's not me, or you, it's... it's not..."
"Finish a goddamned sentence." Sanzo slapped his paper on the bed, and Gojyo froze and curled his hands over his middle.
"It's not gonna happen." Gojyo exhaled slowly. "I won't let it."
"Gojyo, what are you going on about?"
"I..." Gojyo swallowed, but it couldn't keep a tremor from his voice. "I... it won't matter."
"If it's disturbing you this much, it matters, damn it!" Sanzo dug his fists into the mattress beside him, and Gojyo shivered. Sanzo deflated when he realized where Gojyo's tension was coming from. "It's something to do with Kana, isn't it?" He set his shoulders against the backboard. "I won't get angry."
Gojyo remained still, then ran his hand over his belly slowly. "S... sorta." He hunched his shoulders, and gave the skin a slow rub. "S'just... I gotta be around twenty weeks. Maybe more. Maybe less." He started to fidget with the bottom of his shirt. "The boys, they started squirmin' around now. Kana started around sixteen or seventeen. I could feel 'em. Hell, they kept me up at night. But this one just ain't. I've been waitin' for weeks, I just, it just... ain't."
"Was that so hard?" Sanzo sat forward, a little closer. "Or is there more?"
Gojyo fidgeted a minute longer, staring through the outermost curve of his belly. "When... when Kana started... I kinda freaked the fuck out. I just had this massive rush of what happened with Ryuji, and all that pain from feeling that kid get dragged into me, of knowing I was sucking his life up, I just lost my shit." He hugged his midsection. "And, now I'm waitin' for this one to start up, and it's gettin' me so antsy from just wantin' it to happen, but what if I get dragged right back down to that?" He closed his eyes, mourning overtaking his features. "I don't wanna feel that way again. Not with this kid. I don't want to look back on her or him and feel like shit about what's supposed to be a goddamned happy time."
"So, will freaking out now keep you from freaking out later?" It was curt and direct, and garnered a glare from Gojyo, but Sanzo maintained an even expression. "Gojyo, this can be happy if you let it be happy. If you're upset, you can recover." He patted the bed beside him, and Gojyo slowly trudged over and sat. "My bet is that this one is just lazy. It's about time one of our children took after you more closely. I'm certain that some unborn children just take longer to decide to move." Gojyo grumbled, and Sanzo ran his hand through his hair. "But no matter what happens, I'll be right here." He gave Gojyo an indulgent kiss on the cheek, and Gojyo returned a glower.
"Don't you talk down to me." Sanzo ignored his icy look and wrapped his arms around his middle, holding the roundest part.
"We'll be okay. Just promise me that you'll come right to me when he or she moves. If you do start to have a panic attack, I'll get you through it." He held him just a little tighter, and Gojyo finally relaxed.
"I already promised you. Shit, don't make me repeat myself." He kissed Sanzo's neck. "Alright, I'm done freakin' out. You done readin' for tonight?"
They turned the lamp off, and Gojyo fell asleep quickly in the warm, close darkness. Sanzo sat up just a little longer, listening to the wind bringing forth winter rushing past the windows outside. He could see Gojyo shudder through his dreams, and he could guess that the bluster probably penetrated his dreams. He reached out and traced the round of Gojyo's belly again, dragging his fingertips in concentric circles, then in a spiral for the center. He stopped above the navel and lay his palm flat.
"Sleeping soundly, aren't you?" He was sure that those tiny ears were open, he distinctly remembered that much. "Wake up. Just for a moment." He shut his eyes and focused intently on the sensation in his hand, until all he felt was a tingle like icicles forming under his skin and his wrist going numb. He withdrew and sighed, then lay back to stare at the ceiling. "I just... I want to be sure." He closed his eyes. "I'll start freaking out if you don't move." Gojyo mumbled something indistinct, and Sanzo ran his fingers through his hair. "Tomorrow, you goddamn brat. Show us you're alive tomorrow." He closed his eyes, one hand still woven through Gojyo's hair.
And, as he seemed to most nights now, Eiji listened outside their door, eyes wide and affixed on the wall opposite the door. If he heard his own voice, he wouldn't recognize it, as the words came unbidden: "At least he still remembers Ryuji. I'm glad."
Their worries were small, but they remained. Gojyo may have wished to high heaven for his children to have easy lives, but maybe there simply was no such thing.
End Notes: Flower of the week, orchids! My personal favorites, and a Chinese symbol for many children. (Other meanings include love, thoughtfulness, and beauty.)
And while I'm at it- Ren means water lily or lotus, Yuri means lily (yes flowers, hence the "one track mind" crack), and on Sanzo's side, Kaede means maple (like the tree), and though I couldn't find an exact translation, Sousuke can probably loosely translate to "suddenly" or "smoothly" with "suke" as a suffix denoting a masculine name, but I took the name from the male lead of Full Metal Panic: a stiff, militaristic young man who acts forty rather than sixteen. I'll do my best to continue translating names as Gojyo and Sanzo continue to have this argument.
Next time, I get to do one of my very favorite things. And hopefully, you all tolerate my silly self-indulgence. Leave a review, and I'll see you then!
